J: In the chapel, you are pointing to the chapel, OK.
R: Yes. When someone makes a mistake there, that someone I know quite well that I hate him or her. When he or she makes a mistake, I will just shout for disgracing him or her. So that is what our lecturer here who is teaching us, who is taking care for that class is happy about that. But maybe he sometimes, I don‘t know, that is what I think, maybe he was not aware that we are, we were using that process to… [unclear]… each other or to show that I hate you.
J: Um, hm.
R: Because I remember when, I remember one time one of our students here, he was preaching in the chapel and we knew that he and someone else they hate each other so, that ntate was preaching, preaching and the student who was sitting down and listening, that one I am saying that he hated that ntate, he just said that the preacher was reading and preaching, reading and preaching at the same time.
J: Um, hm.
R: That student who was sitting down, he just said that ‗give us so that we can read also‘ to that man who was preaching.
J: Mm. And when something like that happens, you say that the homiletics lecturer likes that.109 He likes for students to say in the middle of preaching, in the middle of reading, to shout out at them.
R: Yes. Because when we, I remember once we asked him about that as a class, ―Why are you allowing students to do this?‖ He said that is what you are going to find there in the congregation. These are the challenge that you are going to meet. That is how I‘m training you here to get used to them.
J: I see. And you grew up in the L.E.C. Rose?
R: Yes.
J: Did you find that – were parishioners screaming at the preacher and telling him he‘s doing a bad job?
R: No, they cannot just tell you that you are doing wrong, they cannot do what we are doing here.
J: I see.
R: But sometimes – I remember when I was in the practical, I was preaching in the pulpit and someone, I don‘t know whether he was mad or he was drunk, I don‘t know but he just opened the door and shout by that time when I was in preaching. I didn‘t stop preaching; I continued but I have realized that ‗oh, that is what our lecturer had said that we are going to meet some kind of these things.‘
J: Mm.
R: Yes.
J: So when you‘re in chapel, do you feel like you‘re really having a spiritual experience?
R: No.
J: No.
R: No.
J: So it‘s not like you‘re able to worship.
R: No.
109 The Director of the Seminary, Rev. Dr. Moseme, is the Homiletics instructor.
J: And so when do you have time to worship here at the school?
R: Individually, because I always pray before I sleep and even before I wake up I always talk to my Lord alone.
J: I see.
R: That is where I am praying spiritually, not here.
(S 9.3-9.4; Rose; 128-129; 88-146)
As Rose reflects upon whether the staff at MTS are encouraging love and kindness at the seminary, her decision to respond largely in the negative is exemplified by behaviour she has witnessed, and in which she has participated, during chapel services as a part of the worshipping life of the seminary. Rose‘s response contains three important issues that were present in the responses of many interview participants. Firstly, Rose identifies behaviour, similar to that in the MTS Opening Worship Service, in which students sitting or standing in the congregation react negatively to the statements and actions of those leading or standing in front of the congregation.
Secondly, she identifies this practice as an extension of the Homiletics course at MTS, and as having been instigated by the Director of the Seminary, the instructor for this course. Finally, she asserts that she is not able to have a spiritual or worshipful experience at MTS chapel services.
During the conduct of worship, Rose relates, worship participants actively critique one another regarding content and procedure. Note, again, Rose‘s description of this:
R: Because I remember when, I remember one time one of our students here, he was preaching in the chapel and we knew that he and someone else they hate each other so, that ntate was preaching, preaching and the student who was sitting down and listening, that one I am saying that he hated that ntate, he just said that the preacher was reading and preaching, reading and preaching at the same time.
J: Um, hm.
R: That student who was sitting down, he just said that ‗give us so that we can read also‘ to that man who was preaching.
(S 9.3; Rose; 128; 107-114)
As will be seen in excerpts (below) from other interviews, Rose‘s example is typical of the kinds of behaviours witnessed and enacted by MTS students during worship. In Rose‘s example the critique is of procedure, not necessarily content, and occurs verbally during the preaching moment.
As will be shown in what follows, many students shared examples similar to this. I witnessed such verbal critiques during chapel, as well. Other students, as will be seen below, also recalled nonverbal (hand motions, liturgical actions continued or begun to indicate that the leader has failed to properly indicate her or his intentions) critiques during worship, and silent critiques, in which the congregant would make note of an error in content or procedure in order to share it with the worship leader either privately or in the context of the Homiletics class. Nonverbal critiques and critiques remembered for later discussion outside the chapel seemed to be the norm for students who attended the seminary in the 1990s or earlier:
104
J: I see. Well, I‘m also curious about chapel at the seminary. Did you find the chapel services to be meaningful for you and were they spiritually uplifting?D: Yes, they were meaningful although sometimes I didn‘t like them.110 Because sometimes you feel like you are forced to do it. But sometimes I would like them to happen in the day, during daytime, weekdays, it was fine. But sometimes we are forced, even when we are tired or busy. Sometimes we are busy in the seminary to an extent that we don‘t even think of going to the chapel. We are busy with our assignments and, or maybe we are busy with something in the college but we are forced to go to the chapel. And something that I didn‘t like when I was there during the chapel services it‘s because we are there someone would say, ―That was right and that is wrong.‖ Ach. And sometimes it was nice because we learned so much about our service, we learned so much about our hymns and how to conduct the services at the church. But sometimes it was meaningful because people can just go there look at you and see if you are going to make it correct or wrong and they will be out without anything in their spirits.
J: Mm.
D: Mm.
J: Now, if they were looking at you to see if something was correct or wrong, could they say something to you?
D: Yes.
J: Even during the service.
D: No, they will say it outside.
J: I see.
D: In the classroom.
J: In the classroom.
D: Yes.
(P 5.5-5.6; Doreen; 245-246; 188-212)111
It is, I think, noteworthy, that Doreen, like Pene (above) finds meaning in the hymnody and mentions the structural issue of ―how to conduct the services at the church,‖ as a positive effect of the MTS worship services. The process of critiquing structure and content seems spiritually lacking for her. Though active interpersonal critique did not occur during the worship service in Doreen‘s recollection, she does recall being focussed upon the importance of critique during worship, and later in her interview mentions that this changed and hampered her ability to worship.
This aspect of the process of focussing strongly upon critique leading to the inability of students to truly worship during chapel services will be explored and discussed (below). ―Lieta,‖ who attended the seminary during the 1990s, and ―Carol,‖ who attended the seminary during the 1980s and 1990s, each indicated that the process of critiquing the other students was an element of their
110 Doreen was not included (above) as a Pastor who responded positively regarding worship services because after her initial, seemingly positive response, she articulated several aspects of worship that she found unhelpful, even using the word ―hate‖ and indicating that she was unable to truly worship during MTS chapel services (e.g., P5.5-5.6; Doreen; 245-246; 192-249).
111 Doreen graduated from MTS between 1991 and 1995.
chapel experience, though there was no practice, during their seminary years, of open verbal or nonverbal critique during the chapel services themselves:
L: So, you heard me, Ntate, when I said it wasn‘t lively in the following way – uh, it was too much strict that when you are preparing to go to the chapel you were, you wanted to be so much that, you wanted to be formal and to do things accordingly on what the chapel has to look like. I don‘t know if you understand me, Ntate.
J: I think I do. When I go to chapel, I watch some of this.
L: Yes.
J: When we have selallo [communion], they step and step and look at each other and fold the cloth just so and when the door is closed, it makes no noise whatsoever. Are these the kinds of things that you‘re…
L: That formality I don‘t have a problem with them.
J: Yeah.
L: That is the formality, it has no problem. But I think because the service itself is, we are watched and know that we are going to be criticized of what you have been doing doesn‘t give us freedom of maybe even feeling that we are part of the service. That‘s what I‘m saying.
J: I see.
L: Yeah.
J: So who might criticize you?
L: Other students, maybe my poor reading, some will say not nice words when they criticize you so, actually, that thing itself it makes you feel somehow that you are, you know, chained in that.
J: Mm.
L: Yes, sir.
J: When could they criticize – would they criticize you during the service?
L: After the service.
J: After.
L: Yeah, after the service.
J: In the classroom or just come up to you and say, ―Hey, man, you didn‘t read well today.‖ or something?
L: Sometimes in the classroom or in my room.
J: I see.
L: Yes, they will come and tell me, yeah.
J: Were you encouraged to criticize each other in this way?
L: Yeah, that is how we were encouraged. But the model, to understand me very well, Ntate, the model of criticizing I don‘t have a problem with. The way that we were, it‘s as if we were stereotyped that we should do things like that.
J: Mm.
L: Yeah, not becoming part because that strict make us not to feel being part of the – because we are afraid. I don‘t know if you understand me, Ntate. That we are, because even the director can call you to the office if you did something in a funny way.
106
J: Mm.
L: Yeah.
(P 7.11-7.12; Lieta; 304-305; 452-493) ________
J: OK. Well, I‘d like to ask about the chapel services. Were there chapel services when you were a student?
C: The chapel…?
J: Yes, did you have worship service…
C: Yes.
J: …when you were a student?
C: Every morning.
J: And were they spiritually uplifting services?
C: I don‘t think so.
J: Why not?
C: [laughing]
J: You‘re laughing again. [laugh] Why do you say they were not spiritually uplifting?
C: Because, Ntate Jeff, you see it was practice only, I think it was only practice – only making the liturgy. There was no sermon but I don‘t blame it for that. Ach, I didn‘t see it uplifting spiritually.
J: I see.
C: Yes, Ntate.
J: And so you were practicing the liturgy.
C: Yes, Ntate.
J: Was this for a particular class that you were taking?
C: Yes, Ntate.
J: I see. And was that the homiletics class or the liturgy class or something like that?
C: Homiletics.
J: OK. And, if I remember, that was being taught by the director himself at that time, is that so?
C: Yes, Ntate.
J: OK, and so when you went, when the whole school went to worship together, really it was just a practice for the liturgy.
C: Yes, Ntate.
J: And then was that practice evaluated?
C: Yes, Ntate?
J: How?
C: [laughing]
J: Oh, more laughing. Rev. Carol, what kind of evaluation happened?
C: [laughing] Maybe after that sermon in the morning, we go to the class.
Maybe the class was, I think it was on Tuesday, and we had to correct every student who had to take part in the sermon. Every day, every day a student who is taking part.
J: I see. And did you correct them and the director corrected them?
C: We and the director.
J: Did you ever do it during the worship service?
C: No.
J: I see, you did it during the class.
C: Yes, during the class. But that time, you see, we take points when it was – when the service.
J: Oh, so you were focusing on the things that they did wrong?
C: Yes, Ntate.
J: Did you also focus on the things that they did right?
C: Yes, Ntate.
J: I see, so I can see if you were focusing on what people were doing right and wrong, you wouldn‘t have time to pray to God or to be spiritually uplifted.
C: Yes, Ntate. [laughing]
J: I see. You‘re laughing. Well, when you corrected the students in class, did you do it with love and kindness?
C: Some. Some were doing it with love and kindness but some it was not easy.
J: I see.
C: Yes, Ntate.
J: And then what would the lecturer say when some were not treating each other with love and kindness?
C: The director was still treating us with love and kindness but we students, we had not that. You see, some students didn‘t like to be corrected but they still wanted to correct others.
J: I see.
C: Yes, Ntate.
(P 8.5-8.7; Carol; 323-325; 193-254)
―Teboho‖ indicated during his interview that by his time at the seminary112 the process of nonverbal critique during chapel services had already begun:
T: No, because you are also watching. It is your duty to watch because if the leader forgets to signal to you to stand up, and it was time for you to stand up, you don‘t have to stand up, you sit down. So you are watching for things like that. You are watching for the little mistakes that the leader is doing so that you can, you can, you can show him or her by actions that, yes, he has been – he or she has been right or wrong.
J: So you mentioned one action. You just remain sitting.
T: Yes.
112 Teboho graduated from MTS between 1995 and 2000.