________
J: I see. So, when you want to talk to somebody, for instance, for pastoral care, to have someone give you pastoral care, where can you go?
L: You just have to go back to your home.
J: Really?
L: That‘s the only best place, the safest place because, like my case when I have told one of the lecturers, which I thought he was a very good guy, and it came out that maybe at that time when I have just spoken to him, he went behind my back and told the director what was happening. Then you will learn that there is no one to be trusted here. You just have to do your things secretly without no one knowing about them.
(S 10.9; Limakatso; 153; 348-356) ________
J: Now with regard to living here on campus, do you feel like there‘s somebody that you can go to if you need pastoral care – like if you have a problem, you mentioned that you had gone to the director…
L: Um, hm.
J: …is the director the person that you would go to or if you have an issue, is there a place you could go and somebody will keep it confidential for you?
L: I think to go to director is the best because before I tried to go to him, I did trust the other people outside but now I have seen that even him can do something to – he can help me and not and I think to go to him is best or other lecturers.
J: I see.
L: Yes.
(S 8.5; Lizzy; 118; 182-193) ________
J: Do you feel like there are people that you can go to, to help you with pastoral care who will keep things confidential? Do you have access to confidential pastoral care here at the seminary?
M: I didn‘t get your question you‘re asking.
J: Well, Ntate Mopheme, let‘s say that you have a problem.
M: Uh, huh.
J: …with your studies or your family or your friendships.
M: Yes.
J: Is there a lecturer or administrator or somebody that you could go to and share your problems and they will be helpful to you and they will keep your secrets for you?
M: Here in the school?
J: Yes.
M: I don‘t think there is anyone who I can go to him and tell him or her about my problems. Especially with my family here in school. Because what I learn here is that – like now I am talking to you, you can tell other people that we discussed this and this and this and this with Ntate Mopheme, and this is what we hear.
J: So, Ntate Mopheme, are you afraid now that you‘re talking to me?
M: No, I am not afraid because what I am talking to you is what I feel so I‘m not afraid to talk about that.
J: OK.
M: Yeah.
J: But you hope that I will keep my promise.
M: Yeah.
J: OK. [laughing] Thank you, Ntate. Do you wish there was somebody you could talk to who would keep confidence?
M: No, I don‘t hope there is anyone here in the school who I can tell him or her about my problems.
J: Why not?
M: I think that not a student, the lecturers really.
J: Mm, hm.
M: Because sometimes it is not this year, Ntate Jeff. Let‘s say I tell you I want to marry somebody about something that is a secret but I will hear it from some other students mention my name but I will know even though didn‘t tell them my name, or but I know.
J: Um, hm.
M: And then they will discuss this in class.
J: In class even?
M: In class.
J: So some lecturers will take things that are supposed to be secret and they will say in class, ―We have one student…
M: Yes.
J: …who this and this and this.‖
M: Yes. ―This student had a fight with her wife…‖
J: Really?!
M: Yeah.
J: I hope Ntate Jeff is not doing this.
M: Let‘s hope.
J: [laughing] OK. So that means really that even if you tried to trust a lecturer, you‘ve had so many bad experiences…
M: Yes.
J: …that you don‘t want to try any more.
M: Uh, huh.
(S 6.8-6.9; Mopheme; 82-83; 305-355) ________
J: OK. Do you have access to good, confidential pastoral care here? If you have a pastoral problem, is there someone you can go to who would keep your confidence and who would be helpful to you?
N: Yes.
J: Who is that person or who are those people?
142
N: Ntate Moseme is one of them. Ntate Jeff is one of them. Ntate Hooker is one of them. Those three.J: OK. And when you share with me or Ntate Hooker or Ntate Moseme, are you always sure that we‘re not going to tell other students things you have told us?
N: No, that one I‘m not sure of but I feel comfortable when I tell you and the other two lecturers my problems, yes.
J: OK, but you‘re not sure we‘re keeping secrets for you.
N: Ntate?
J: Do you feel like one of us might tell the other students?
N: No, I never feel. That‘s the reason why I always use those three.
(S 5.11; Nocks; 67; 444-458) ________
J: I‘d like to ask one more question about the general life at the seminary and then I want to talk about the courses a little bit and then move on. One of the things that I asked on the questionnaire was: ―Do you feel like you‘ve had access to confidential pastoral care while you‘re at the seminary? Have you been able to have someone to provide pastoral care for you?
P: [pause] It‘s not clear.
J: When you‘re at the seminary and you have pastoral needs, you need to speak to someone who is like your pastor, and who will keep confidences…
P: OK.
J: Are there those people? Does the seminary provide those people to you?
P: Yeah, it does, because I have been talking to some lecturers and then – about my problems and some have helped.
(S 3.9; Peter; 34; 369-380) ________
J: Mm. Well, with regard to pastoral care, for you as students, Rose, if you ever needed to talk to a pastor or a counsellor, was there someone here on campus you could go to who would keep confidences?
R: Pardon?
J: If you had a need, a pastoral need, is there somebody here on campus that you could go to who could act as your counsellor or pastor and would they keep your secrets for you?
R: Yes, yes, I remember when I was talking with ‘M‘e [name].
J: OK, so she was somebody you could go to…
R: Yes.
J: …and you could share your feelings and you knew she would never tell somebody.
R: But the problem was that I‘m afraid [laughing] I remember when I was having a problem concerning my family, I wanted to talk to her but I was afraid [laughing].
J: Oh, no! Why were you afraid?
R: You know, Ntate Jeff, the way I have been growing up in my family, I think it is the problem because even now I can see that I‘m afraid even to do those things which can be appropriate or be profitable for me.
J: Mm.
R: I have been grown up showing – my parents were always showing me that your parent, your teacher, your – someone who is old to respect him or her, so that thing, even now…
J: Mm.
R: Because I remember when, even when I was in the class, sometimes I can misunderstood something but I can be afraid of asking a question or saying that I don‘t understand this.
J: I see. Are respect and fear the same thing?
R: Yes, they are going together with each other. They are both connected.
J: I see.
R: Yes.
(S 9.10-9.11; Rose; 135-136; 403-428)
Perceptions about access to pastoral care, then, seem to vary from student to student.
Students and former students did not mention the seminary-established Counselling Groups as an avenue through which they had sought or received pastoral care opportunities. Among the interview participants who expressed that they had not found access to caring and confidential pastoral care at MTS, or that they had ceased to seek caring and confidential pastoral care at MTS, the issue of trust regarding confidentiality seemed to be a common denominator. Among those who indicated that they had enjoyed access to caring and confidential pastoral care opportunities, the Director of the Seminary or lecturers seemed to represent the usual providers of said pastoral care. One issue, raised by documents, excerpted above, suggesting alternate ways for the seminary to provide for pastoral care to its students (e.g., ―Faculty Council‖ or ―Dean of the Seminary‖), relates to the various roles played by the current providers of pastoral care. MTS instructors, in their roles as teachers of courses, might be ill-placed, at times, to provide compassionate pastoral care for students who may, for example, feel overburdened by course expectations or the classroom demeanours of their instructors. The Director of the Seminary, in his role as a teacher, would have similar conflicts, and would have the additional conflict resulting from his place as the administrative head of the institution. This multiplicity of roles is recognised by the Director of the Seminary, but is often, it seems, less clear for the students.131 It seems that a clearer, more direct
131 Recall the Director‘s comment (presented above) regarding his participation in the evaluation of worship participation:
M: Yes, I say, ―Yes, you have really tried well, but…‖ So I tell the person what they have to do. And I don‘t do that in my capacity as the director. I do that in my capacity as an instructor for worship.
The importance and possibility of a non-instructor provider of pastoral care is mentioned in a hand-written, Sesotho document, dated 28 January, 1985, and entitled: ―Maikutlo a Barutuoa‖ (Students‟ Ideas) that was in the files of the seminary. One idea suggests that students can be afraid to go to instructors with certain problems, but that they might gladly share those same problems with Board members or with a Dean of the Seminary: