Essential English 2019 v1.1
Unit 2 A-standard annotated sample response
October 2021
Extended response — written response
This sample has been compiled by the QCAA to assist teachers in developing assessment and matching evidence in student responses to the characteristics described in the instrument- specific standards.
Assessment objectives
This assessment instrument is used to determine student achievement in the following objectives:
1. use patterns and conventions of a letter to position audiences about human experiences 2. use appropriate roles and relationships with audiences
3. construct representations of identities, places, events and concepts about human experiences
4. make use of the ways cultural assumptions, attitudes, values and beliefs about human experiences underpin texts
6. select and use subject matter to support perspectives about human experiences 7. sequence subject matter and use mode-appropriate cohesive devices to construct a
coherent letter
8. make mode-appropriate language choices according to the register variables informed by purpose, audience and context
9. use written language features to achieve particular purposes.
Note: Objective 5 is not assessed in this instrument.
Instrument-specific standards (ISS)
Knowledge application Organisation and development Textual features Grade
The student work has the following characteristics:
• use of the ways cultural assumptions, attitudes, values and beliefs underpin texts to influence meaning and effectively shape representations of human experiences in a letter
• effective use of the letter genre, integrating media where appropriate
• control of the role of the writer to influence audiences to accept perspectives on human experiences
• purposeful selection and sequencing of relevant subject matter, using written cohesive devices to construct a coherent letter
• controlled choice of language informed by an understanding of purpose, audience and context
• consistent use of written language features
A
• use of the ways cultural assumptions, attitudes, values and beliefs underpin texts to influence meaning and effectively shape representations of human experiences in a letter
• appropriate use of the letter genre, using media where appropriate
• some control of the role of the writer to influence audiences to accept perspectives on human experiences
• appropriate selection and sequencing of relevant subject matter using written cohesive devices to construct a coherent letter
• appropriate choice of language informed by an understanding of purpose, audience and context
• appropriate use of written language features
B
• use of the ways cultural assumptions, attitudes, values and beliefs underpin texts to influence meaning and unevenly shape representations of human experiences in a letter
• use of the letter genre, including media where appropriate
• use of the role of the writer to influence audiences to accept perspectives on human experiences
• in the main, relevant subject matter selected and sequenced using written cohesive devices to construct a coherent letter
• in the main, appropriate choice of language informed by an
understanding of purpose, audience and context
• in the main, use of written language features
C
• use of ideas to shape narrow
representations of human experiences in a letter
• uneven use of the letter genre
• some establishment of a relationship with an audience
• some relevant subject matter selected and unevenly sequenced using some cohesive devices
• inconsistent choice of language with some demonstration of
understanding of purpose, audience and context
• some use of written language features, with frequent lapses
D
• use of ideas to occasionally shape narrow representations of human experiences in a letter
• uneven construction of a letter/text including some perspectives that are occasionally supported by basic subject matter, which is
unevenly sequenced
• narrow choice of language
• narrow use of written language features that impede understanding
E
Task
Sample response
Criterion Grade
Knowledge application Assessment objectives 3, 4 Organisation and development A Assessment objectives 1, 2, 6, 7 Textual features
Assessment objectives 8, 9
The annotations show the match to the standard description of the instrument-specific standards.
Organisation and development
Control of the role of the writer to share thoughts, feelings and ideas.
Knowledge application Use of cultural
assumptions, attitudes, values and beliefs in letter to effectively shape representations of an event and Khoa Textual features Consistent use of written language features
Organisation and development Purposeful selection and sequencing of relevant subject matter to construct a coherent letter
Textual features Controlled choice of language
Knowledge application Effective shaping of representations of identities, places, events and/or concepts in a letter about human experiences
Organisation and development Purposeful selection and sequencing of relevant subject matter to construct a coherent letter
Textual features
Dear Khoa,
As you know, I’ve just turned 42 and I’ve been thinking about our parents and this wonderful country we’re living in. I’ve been scribbling my
thoughts down for a while and I wanted to share them with you in a letter as a personal keepsake. Mostly, I just want to say how glad I am that you’re my brother and how grateful I am that we survived all those ordeals out at sea so many years ago — you as a baby and me as a two-year-old.
Too often, we take precious people for granted and I want you to know how important you are to me. Even now, chomping into a Big Mac brings back lots of special feelings about our family, a bit like the great plum banquet our uncles always talked about.
We’re so incredibly lucky to have Mum and Dad as parents. The way Mum always took people in (several dozen, can you believe it?!) from single mums to elderly ladies and family members — everyone taught me so much that I wouldn’t change it for anything. Mum taught me
compassion, especially the way she always forgave us as soon as she thought we’d seen the wrong in what we’d done. And Dad? Dad taught us to question our fear. Remember how he used to say, ‘There’s almost never a good reason to be scared’?
As I get older, I’m starting to realise how fortunate we are. There’s no one event from our lives that stands out, although I do think about the water that pirate gave us on the boat that day because without it, we would never have seen Australia. I also think about our financial hardships and how upset Mum would have been if she’d known we hadn’t had all the required school textbooks — there’s no way Mum could have afforded
$1000 every year for them, so there’s no way I could have asked for it, but we made do and did okay.
Yes, I know life was confusing for us for a while, especially with Dad, but he has never stopped loving us. I’ll never forget the way he stood up and clapped in assembly when I was awarded the maths prize in Year 6. He was the only one standing and he didn’t care. Nor did I. And he knew it. It was his way of letting me know how incredibly proud of me he was. That meant everything.
Mostly, I want to say how proud I am of you, how special you are for so many reasons. There was the Open Family charity for one. Your faith in the students was genuine and you turned out to be right about the students having important stories to tell — The Finished People was excellent. I know you hate fanfare and attention, but people as selfless as you attract it. That night in 2005 when you won Young Australian of the Year shows the significant contribution you have made to young people in this country. So many adventures and still so young! Perhaps it’s the event that stands out the most — it’s the moment when you really showed how talented you are. It also showed how important it is to be focussed on what matters, of being humble and to care for others rather than to pursue our own ambitions. Clearly you are that person. You are someone who cares more about doing a good job and a good deed than getting praise and attention.
Control of the role of the writer to influence audiences to accept perspectives about human experiences
Organisation and development Effective use of genre (letter) to describe another character
together and showed them to other Australians. You were so determined to get funds for this project and you did. We’re all proud.
Finally, I just want to say how much Dad loves you and how his impact on us has been for the better. He always says, ‘There are only two times in life: there’s now and there’s too late.’ He has taught us to go for it, to seize the opportunity to do the next thing, and then the next. And it was that attitude that brought The Finished People to life and it was that night when you were awarded the Young Australian of the Year that perhaps I felt the proudest I’ve ever been.
Anyway, I’m grateful for who I am and for who you are. I believe that what we are is because of family love, connection and support. We’ve made mistakes, but we do our best, something you’ve done time and time again.
Anh
