But there are a number of women who are mentioned in the Bible as having important roles and contributing to the work of the church. The author suggests some techniques that can help people become aware of the boxes they are in and how to get out of them. A new experience of wholeness for both women and men can result from the merging of the "masculine" and the "feminine" in which all human powers are intensified.
I am increasingly convinced that a large percentage of the psychological-spiritual problems that people bring to counseling are the result of the tight frameworks that our culture has forced us into as women and men. I love my husband and kids and some of the things I do, but I hate my life right now. It's happening more and more as the consciousness-raising style of the women's movement spreads to mixed groups as well as men's groups.
Counseling For Liberation by Charlotte Ellen
The Liberated Counselor
Good counseling includes the kind of consciousness-raising that helps people become aware of the options available to them. Even if he is aware of the issues, and is seriously looking for personal liberation from his own male box, he can hear the cry much less. How is my own marriage (if I have one) affected if I truly accept the equality of the sexes.
6, Is constantly aware of his or her limitations in working with a person of the opposite sex.
Pain and Gain for Women and Men
Two friends of mine who were expecting a baby recently talked about their aspirations for the soon-to-be-born child. What we mostly fail to do is teach boys and girls to become both independent and interdependent, that is, to find strength both in themselves and in their relationships. Women who decide to pursue a job or career outside the home, either by choice or out of necessity, (more than one-third of the American workforce is made up of women) often feel guilty about neglecting their children.
Some women who actually choose to become housewives now feel a new inner conflict; they think they are the collective voice of the. One of the consequences of the increasing awareness of women – and therefore also of men – is that it is not only okay to be single, but that it can be a very desirable and fulfilling lifestyle for many people. Divorce counseling is based on the premise that it may be better for some couples to separate, rather than the traditional church position that a marriage should be saved if possible and that divorce is always a tragedy.
Women in any of these circumstances should be encouraged to talk to other women who have had similar experiences. The pain the women feel revolves around anger at their long and usually unconscious imprisonment and the fear that they may now have to break out of their familiar confines. It is hard to believe that anything could be gained by such a change.
Now I realize that I can react according to my feelings -- 1 don't have to be the logical person all the time. In five years I would like to live on the land, work part-time and be able to find time to reflect and map out my inner space.
Counseling Amid Changing Relationships
She just has this crazy idea in her head that she wants to live her own life and that doesn't include me - despite all the concessions I've made to her. They found that despite the anger and distance between them, there were still some things they liked about each other. Connie and Steve's relationship is an extreme (but not uncommon) example of the dominance-submission pattern in marriage.
34; unnatural." However, often, because of their inner conflicts or because of society's dictates, couples find themselves in conflict, not only with each other, but also with their own expectations of themselves. During counseling, as they began to explore their relationship, June discovered that much of her pushback and hostility was an attempt to get Mark. Linda and Art's situation is an increasingly common one, and a difficult and painful outcome. of the growing consciousness of women.
Art illustrates the limitations of the kind of young male identity formation that allows a man to be satisfied with a good job, a good house, a good wife, and good children, without ever. Another version of the "sibling" marriage is one in which two demanding "children" struggle to get their needs met. There may be another kind of relationship that is beginning to suffer (or grow) under the influence of the changing consciousness of.
The examples in this chapter illustrate various situations in which marriages run into problems, largely because of rigid role expectations or because of the changing consciousness of the woman or the man. If consulted in time, counselors can help the coupies explore the nature and implications of the marital patterns, expectations, and contracts under which they have worked.
Liberating The Church
Ministers need to know that many women are increasingly aware of their current position in the church and their faith and culture. But we can try to get the church to include women in its life and leadership in more meaningful ways than it has in the past. On the other hand, many women in the church resist changing the position of women.
They are often critical of women in professional ministry, or of women who challenge the traditional roles of women in the church. Many men in the church are open to the issues women raise about church life and the reinterpretation of theology. Occasionally put women in the pulpit and consider hiring a female pastor for our staff.
Probably the most hopeful area in the long term for bringing about change in the life of the church is that of education. Youth groups provide an important setting for dealing with the issues of sexism in the church. Confirmation class is another setting in which young people can focus on the issues of sexism in the Bible, in theology, and in the church.
Prospective young church members need to know about "woman" in the Judeo-Christian tradition and about contemporary feminist theology. Such groups are usually grassroots efforts that develop out of the concern of one or more persons who have become aware of their feelings about women in the church.
Techniques For Counseling And Consciousness Raising
Since she is also a woman with personal experience of the "feminine", it is easy for this to happen. If such a group is a continuous group, it is also a good idea that the women and the men meet in separate groups from time to time, since women and men, in our current stage of evolution, always behave differently in the presence of the opposite sex. It is usually wise to set a limit on the number of sessions, anywhere from six to ten, and to limit the size of the group to ten people or less.
She first asked them to change seats, close their eyes and imagine themselves in the other person's body and role. Now I'll give you sixty seconds. yourself during a typical day in your life. you will do your usual things. but in the body of the opposite sex. Then the leader of the group as a whole first asks the men to suggest words that describe how they felt when they were in the body of the opposite sex.
The fantasy of the unlived life also helps people get in touch with their feelings about themselves and others. Now, with your eyes still closed, imagine yourself born as a member of the opposite sex. if you are a woman imagine yourself giving birth to a boy. if you are a man imagine yourself to have given birth to a girl. Now you are growing up. you are a schoolboy, still of the opposite sex. how do you feel as that child. what do you like to do
Now imagine that you are a teenager, still of a different gender. how people treat you. The fantasy of an unlived life must be adapted to the age or age groups of each group. Study can become part of the agenda for existing groups in the church or the focus of independent programs.
Many of the sources listed in the bibliography would make excellent study material for awareness and follow-up.
Epilogue: The Cup Of The New Relationship
Epilogue: The cup of the new relationship… itself with the relationship – or lack thereof – between personal growth and social change. How can the counseling profession's focus on personal development be justified in light of the deep and urgent human concerns of poverty, famine, racism, war and disease. In the revolution of increasing consciousness among women – and therefore among men – personal growth and social change are inextricably linked.
UNESCO statistics show that as the status of women in a given country increases, the birth rate falls. As women learn to appreciate their "strong" side and men their "soft" side, a shift in collective consciousness and sense of values occurs that leads to a new balancing of traits previously labeled "feminine" and. 34; masculine." Valuing women and valuing the attributes now so needed to save humanity are inescapably intertwined.
Anne McGrew Bennett notes that our society gives a superior place to men and to the "so-called masculine qualities - physical power, military power, pride, exploitation of the land, dominance over others. As long as our understanding of the nature of God and the nature of personality lacks wholeness , we will continue to destroy ourselves and others.”(2). As we begin to value women and the "feminine" qualities (love, compassion, caring, service, care) on an equal footing with men and they.
For pastors and counselors, all of this means both a concern for the individual parishioner or counselor and a look beyond the social change that can occur when individuals are freed to utilize their full potential. Many people still hope that the church can meet the new challenges dramatized by the rising consciousness of women in search of spiritual rebirth for themselves and for the whole of human society.
