Saturday nighters to do AU

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Volume No. 85 April 21, 1993 Issue No. 12

FIAT LUX

T H E S T U D E N T N E W S P A P E R O F A L F R E D U N I V E R S I T Y

Nealon, Sandler to play McLane this Saturday

by Dave Bachrach, contributor

For those of us who have thought of the Hot Dog Day concerts of recent years as jokes, this year's extravaganza is no exception. Except this time the joke is intentional.

Since Robert Klein attended Alfred University, we haven't come close to the comedy greats that have emerged with help from Saturday Night Live, an hour and a half of live performance broadcast on NBC each weekend from New York

City. Now Kevin Nealon, one of SNL's most constant participants, and Adam Sandler, one of its newcomers, are bringing their patented brand of humor to Alfred.

You may remember Sandler from his part on MTV's "Remote Control" game show, or his handful of stand-up spots on Late Night With David Letterman, but you are more likely to be laughing these days at his multitude of imperson- ations and off-the-wall raving. SNL has shown him as Iraqi Pete, Crazy

Spoonhead terrorizing the neighborhood for candy on Halloween, or the melodi- ous Operaman, among others. When some Friday Night Live crew, including myself, met him at NBC, he exclaimed,

"ALFORD? [sic] I'M DEFINITELY COMIN'!"

Known for his role as the Weekend Update anchorperson, Nealon also spoke at a teleconference last Wednesday of his creation on Mr.

Subliminal. He related that in addition to a movie about Mr. Subliminal in the works for HBO, plans for "Hans and Franz: The Girlyman Dilemma," co- starring Arnold Schwartzenegger, are also on the drawing board. When asked what possessed him to come to Alfred, the vegetarian replied that he had adopted a steer, ducks, goats, and sheep at a Watkins Glen farm sanctuary that he had never visited before.

Originally, Nealon was drawn to the

stage not as a comedian, but as a musi- cian; his singing career turned out to be short lived. Nealon got his big break as a stand up in Hollywood, where he met Dana Carvey, who also got him an audition on SNL. Nealon prefers the

"straight" news delivery pioneered by Chevy Chase, who he cites as a positive influence. He starred as "Drunk #2" in Roxanne with Steve Martin. "If you were getting popcorn you would have missed me," he quipped.

Sandler and Nealon will be performing at McLane Center on Saturday, April 24, at 730 p.m. with opening comedian Tony V. The cost for AU students is $6, and general admission price is $9.

Tickets are available at South Hall.

Coll and company deliver state of AU address

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Susann« Dunn

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Peter Fackler, vice president of business and finance, watches

"as Tanya Matos, vice president of senate, questions President Edward G. Coll, Jr. during the "State of the University Address.'

by Darcia Harris, news editor President Edward G. Coll,Jr., flanked by Provost Richard Ott, Associate Provost Susan Strong, and Peter Fackler, vice president of student finance, spent the greater part of the evening after his "state of the

University" address, fielding students' questions concerning housing, tuition increase and the future of the

Steinheim.

Coll announced that tuition and room and board cost increased by the annual six percent, making a total of $22,480.

Coll also explained the increase in the student activity fee from one hundred to two hundred dollars, effective fall 1993. According to the president, a gradual increase over a four year period was approved by the 1989 student senate and is intended to cover the deficit for the financing of the new campus center.

Coll assured students that the activity fee would not be increased again unless

the student senate approved it.

When questioned about further plans for remodeling other residence halls, Coll said "we know what shape they're in as well as you do." According to Coll, AU had plans to remodel another hall this past year but there were too many students to close one down.

Provost Ott announced that Cannon

"will be coming off the line" for remodeling in the 1993 academic year.

Many students also seemed con- cerned about what may be in store for the Steinheim castle.

"Two architects came in and said restoration would be terribly expensive," said Coll in reference to the approximated million-dollar cost. Coll insisted that until a practical use was found for the building, the expense to restore it cannot be justified. "I love that building just as much as everyone else," insisted Coll. "It would make a great president's office."

Kingsbury refuses recognition to new fraternity

/ /!/ g / D £ . . . by Marcus Sperling, staff writer

The seems to be a misunderstanding with the Alpha Delta Omega, the new local fraternity, unaffiliated with AU or Alfred State College.

Alpha Delta Omega sent out form letters to chapter presidents and administrators; however, the letters stated different things.

The letter to the chapter presidents said that it was important to Alpha Delta Omega to maintain good relations with the current greeks. It also mentioned that it would be a social fraternity.

The letters to the administrators only mentioned that Alpha Delta Omega was a co-ed fraternity "based on Christian principles."

The letter also stated that "In recent times, the community's image of the greek institutions at Alfred has grown

tarnished."

Another misunderstanding is that, according to Alpha Delta Ctaega Vice President, Keith Bellomo, greek opinions of them are either positive or neutral; but the impression of the greeks is negative.

"I don't think we need anymore fraternities. We need more sororities to balance it out, but seven fraternities for a campus this size is enough," said Sigma Alpha Mu brother D. Bradley Seymour.

According to Paul Kingsbury, AU greek advisor, he met with the members of the new fraternity and gave them options they could take, such as becom- ing a national co-ed fraternity.

Au has a policy, according to Kingsbury, that won't allow local fraternities to be recognized.

"Organizations at AU are for students

at AU," said Kingsbury, commenting on the fact hat Alpha Delta Omega is taking members from both schools.

Alpha Delta Omega currently has five pledges; four males and one female.

Only one student is from Alfred State, according to Bellomo.

"We want to start off with a group that is dedicated, then open it to other people," said Bellomo.

The reason they are doing this, accordr ing to Bellomo, is because they feel there's enough people out there who don't want to pledge an existing house, but do want the friendships, connec- tions, and closeness a fraternity provides.

The fraternity meets at St. Jude's church on the ASC campus but, according Bellomo, is not a church group.

Opinion Grunge is

commercialized Page 5

Students debate Malcolm X

Page 3 Sports

AU falls to Hobart

Back Page

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Fiat Lux • April 21 • Page 3 Arts Depression brings

change to AU

Feature Pnoto

^{CLmU Neu}

by Ann-Marie Bramer, features editor part ten in a series

The Depression Era was full of change for the AU community. The period saw three presidents, the school's first radio station was founded, AU celebrated its centennial and, of course, there were the typical finance and building developments.

President Davis resigned in 1932, ending the forty year presidency that was often referred to as the Golden Age of AU. He was replaced by Paul Emerson Titsworth, whose acceptance of the position fulfilled his childhood dream.

Titsworth and his family were the first presidential family to live in Crandall Hall, which was newly designed for that purpose.

Unfortunately they were not able to enjoy it for very long, as Titsworth died on his way to a church service in December, 1933.

Following the funeral. Dean John

Being a Pacifist," and in 1936, there were so many peace societies they were getting into each others' hair.

Other new occurrences at AU included: a new radio station called W8LHK, a new moving picture outfit that included sound, and a series of forum lectures with speakers that included a governor from Wisconsin and an under sea explorer.

AU celebrated 100 years of quality education in June of 1936. The festivi- ties started with an Alumni

Association dinner: its menu featured a birthday cake with 100 candles with fifty of each. Later in the ceremonies, King Alfred (actually, an AU student dressed appropriately) made an appearance. After Asser, his secretary (actually an AU professor) explained to the king what wonders had been wrought in the century old school, the king demanded to see the "worker of miracles" who had brought these Nelson Norwood was named as acting things to pass. President Emeritus president, and by the following June,

the "acting" was cut.

Norwood had a number of things to deal with during his time in office.

One was the sudden rise in pacifistic attitudes amongst the students.

Speakers came to the area and gave speeches such as "Possibilities of

Davis stepped forward, and the king gave him a "royal jewel" as a symbol of King Alfred's love for AU, com- manding "Let it pass from hand to hand through all coming years."

Davis then passed the symbol on to President Norwood to symbolize the present and future.

FIAT QuickBit — Dictionary Affairs

Peach a tree with round, juicy, orange-yellow fruit having a fuzzy skin and rough pit Libel any written or printed matter tending to injure a person's reputation unjustly

Humor

New sport at AU

by David P. Holmes, staff writer AU's Business and Finance department has been collaborating with the physical education department to add another varsity sport to AU: The run- around.

The run-around has several distinct parts to it, as well as some non- essential obstacles. Let me tell you about a run-around I was sent through earlier in the year.

I started the course down in business and Finance. All I wanted to do was pick u p my paycheck. However, my I- 9 form wasn't properly registered or something like that. So I was told to go u p to Alumni Hall and get it taken care of. I ran u p the hill. Good for the cardiovascular system.

At Alumni Hall, in the financial aid office, I was told that I didn't need to do anything, really, and that there should be no problem and I could pick u p my pay-check. In my haste to get down a flight of stairs, I tripped and fell. Tumbling. Good for flexibili- ty-

My breath was coming in short bursts as a secretary at Business and Finance called u p to Alumni and explained the problem. I stretched out the taught muscles in my neck and

practiced for the scream-a-thon. I guess I needed more practice, because I still had to go back to Financial Aid.

As I caught my breath, the lady at Financial Aid laid the most difficult obstacle of the course before me. To pick u p my paycheck, I must apply for a new social security card. I built u p m y leg muscles running u p and down the stairs of my residence hall getting the necessary information.

I returned to the Financial Aid office, and got an application in the mail. The starter's gun went off as the secretary there called the secretary at Business and Finance. I got my paycheck, and was home free!

Unfortunately, all my exercise proved for naught when I arrived at Key Bank. It had just closed. I had been doing the run-around since one o'clock that afternoon.

Earlier today, my heart skipped a beat as I entered the Business and Finance office for the first time since my encounter with AU's new varsity sport. I went to pick u p a paycheck.

The secretary behind the desk told me

"You don't seem to have an 1-9 on file.

Why don't you go on up to Financial Aid in Alumni Hall?"

TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE

VOL 1 NO. 4

1. What name of God was Moses commanded to use?

2. Why did Moses' face shine after getting the 10 laws?

3. Does God require that we keep the 10 laws?

4. Who was the prophet like Moses that would come?

5. Why was Moses willing to suffer with God's people?

6. Why couldn't the nation of Isreal enter their land?

To check your answers by recording, dial 607-2766720

THE ALFRED ASSEMBLY OF CHRISTIANS

A p a r t m e n t s Q t l l l A y a M a b i z Walking distance to campus: (wo 4- bedroom apartments and one 2

bedroom apartment for 3 people

Seenic flifred Station (2 miles from flCl campus): one 3 bedroom apartment, three 2 bedroom apartments, and one studio apartment

Call 716-595-6183. fin answering machine i» faithfully there.

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Fiat Lux • April 21 • Page 3 Arts

AU discusses Malcolm

by Susatme Dunn, arts editor After Friday nighf s showing of

"Malcolm X " at Nevins Theater, Steve Johnson, director of arts programming, led a discussion of the film.

The intention of the discussion was to clarify the movie for those that did not know much about the history of Malcolm X, or the accuracy of the movie, according to Johnson.

Johnson began by talking about Marcus Garvey, who mobilized the "back to Africa" movement that suggested that all African-americans go back to Africa to find their roots.

In the film, Malcolm X embraced this theory in the early years of his ministry.

X suggested, in the film, that finding your roots was the only way to know yourself. X also believed that the races could not be integrated until African- americans made the pilgrimage and knew themselves first.

At this time, X also made the name change from Malcolm Little to Malcolm X. Most African-americans, in history,

acquired the last names of their slave masters and, therefore, did not have their own identities. Little chose the letter X, which, "in mathematics, is the

unknown," says X in the film.

Later in the film, X makes the pilgrimage to Mecca and becomes a true Muslim, discovers himself, and returns to America to share his discoveries.

In Mecca, he saw people of all colors that were "brothers" who prayed together, slept together, and lived together.

At this point, X realizes that everyone can live together and starts to organize to protect "people of all color that are oppressed."

One of the most controversial parts of the discussion concentrated on the involvement of the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) in the surveillance and assassination of Malcolm X.

It was proven that members of the Muslim organization that X was part of assassinated him. They were discontent- ed with his popularity and accused him

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of working more for himself than the

muslims cause.

Gary Ostrower, professor of history, argued that it is not proven that the CIA had anything to do with the assassination. Johnson and a student argued that it was "fact" that the CIA was involved with the downfall of Malcolm X.

Ostrower contended that nothing is fact, that it is all theory, and that there is no documentation.

The major controversy is over what is real and what is not in films like these. It was pointed out in the discussion that the scene where X was holding a gun to defend his house and family never happened.

It is the decision of the director on how a person's life or an event is depicted. JFK had the same problem.

Director's artistic license takes if s toll on both films.

AU performs award winning play

by Kit Luhrs, staff writer

The play Food From Trash, written by Gary Leon Hill, was performed in the Performing Arts Annex on April 15-18 by the Performing Arts Department.

The story centers around the people who live in and around a landfill somewhere in the United States. The owner of the landfill, Phil Cobb, played by Steve Pav, is paying off the police officer, played by Sarah Goodreau, to permit him to dump illegal toxic waste in the landfill.

This, of course, has horrible effects on the people living and working around the dump.

One of the effects of the toxic waste is that everyone has open sores and rashes all over their bodies, pets and foliage are dying, and people are losing their hair.

"This was a very complex show to perform in," said Shelley Back, who played Alma, the owner of the local diner, "because of the set and the make- up."

The set of the play was very nontradi- tional in that there was no seating. The audience sat on the floor and on and around the set. The effect was that of

"theatre in the round" and helped the

O T p O ^ p A t f

audience to identify with the characters in the story.

The technical aspects of this show were incredibly well done. Master Carpenter David Holmes and Master Electricians Frank Bai-Rossi and Mike Keogen did an excellent job with the set and lighting plots, both of which were very complex.

The costume crew also did a fantastic job, as did make-up artist Ann-Marie Bramer.

The script of Food From Trash was co- winner of the 1988 Great American Play Contest, and both the cast and production staff did an'excellent job with this script.

o

Friday, April 23

O (.A.1 and Fred could not be here today, but they asked me to pass along this message:

\JHot Dog Day 1993, April 23 - IS.J

t¿e>ief

6-10 p.m. Ice Cream Bash - Jugglers - Comedians

All the ice cream and sundae combinations you can eat with entertainment provided by

"Clockwork."

6-7 p.m. Ice Cream Eating Contest

7-8 p.m. Jugglers

8:00 p.m. A.U. Dance Theater

"Risks & Pleasures" - Holmes Auditorium, Harder Hall.

Featuring AU Faculty, Students and Guest Artists. (Free for AU students with I.D., $4 general admission, $3 faculty/staff and children under 12).

10:30 p.m. Friday Night Live! -

Student Run performance consist- ing of music and comedy sketches. Alfred University's Melane Center. Free!

Sat* April 24

Various carnival activities set up along Main St. in Alfred, NY.

10 a.m. Fun Run start at Bandstand in Alfred

10 a.m. Mud Olympics at

Tucker Field

11 a.m. AU Woman's Softball

vs A U Faculty at Tucker Field

12 p.m. Parade down Main St. lead by Oscar Meyer Weiner Mobile

12 p.m. Chicken BBQ hosted by Alfred Lions Club at the Alfred

Firehall

12:30 p.m.

Hot Dog Day

C a r n i v a l Main Street - Food, games, arts and crafts, booths, kiddie rides, music, super raffle, t-shirts and more.

3-6:30 p.m. A P O S p a g h e t t i D i n n e r at Union University Church. Admission: $2.50

Band Reviews:

Camper Van Beethoven lacks hooks for songs

by Rick Anderson (CPS)

Camper Van Beethoven may have had the coolest band name in the history of recorded music, but I could never see what it was that made them such sweethearts of the college radio.

David Lowery's weedy voice always turned me off, and the band's sense of humor never seemed quite enough to make up for the lack of good hooks in their songs.

So hard as it was to resist albums with titles like "Our Beloved Revolutionary Sweetheart" and

"Vampire Can Mating Oven," and even though they made a record with my hero, Eugene Chadbourne, I never bought anything they put out.

Camper Vantiquities, a thoroughly charming collection of demos, out- takes and unreleased tracks, makes me wonder if I didn't jump too quickly to conclusions.

From the Hawaiian-ska wiggle of

"Heart" to the eerily reverent Hank Williams cover, these tunes reveal all of the melodic interest I must have missed first time around. Not all of it works: The instrumental get pretty tedious and several of them should have been left in the can.

Production for this issue was done by: Spencer Cromie, Jenna DeFranco, and Javier A. Morales. Hot Dog Day Schedule was created by Javier A. Morales.

&:30 p.m. Live from Alfred...

It's Saturday Night!

NBC-TV's Saturday Night Live Comedians Adam Sandler and Kevin Nealon. Opening act by comedian Tony V. McLane Center - Alfred University Tickets: $6 for students & $9 general public.

8-10 p.m. MFA Exhibition - Fosdick-Nelson Gallery, Harder Hall (Sat. & Sun.) 8:00 p.m. A.U. Dance Theater,

"Risks & Pleasures" - Holmes Auditorium, Harder Hall.

Featuring AU Faculty, Students and Guest Artists. (Free for AU students with I.D., $4 general admission, $3 faculty/staff and children under 12).

9 p.m. - 2 a.m. Umoja Dance -

"Jam Before the Exams" - Davis Gym

Suru April 25

11:30 a.m. Hillel Bagel Brunch

Bartlett Hall - Alfred University

FIAT QuickBit — Our fears

Beards Pogonophobia

Dawn Eosophobia

Duration Chronophobia

Clouds Nephophobia

Flutes Auiophobia

Gaiety Cherophobia

Heredity Patrophobia

Gravity Barophobia

Ice Cryophobia

Infinity Apeirophobia

Names Nomatophobia

Odors Osmophobia

Places Topophobia

Rust lophobia

Sound Akousticophobia

Stars Siderophobia

Swallowing Phagophobia

Teeth Odontophobia

Writing Graphophobia

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Call CM11-800-423-5264 JUST MARRIED

Many congratulations and warm wishes to Mr. David Bachrach and Mrs. Katherine Berry Bachrach on their recent marriage.

Love, Your friends P.S. Gotcha

EMPLOYMENT O P P O R T U N I T Y

ALASKA SUMMER EMPLOYMENT

FISHERIES - Students Needed! Earn $600+

per week in canneries or $4,000* per month on fishing boats. Free transportation! Room &

Board. Over 8,000 openings. No experience necessary. Male or Female. FOT employment program call:

1-206-545-4155 ext. A5228 Student Employment Services

(4)

Editorial Fiat Lux » A p r i c i • Page 4

Can women run negative times?

Education must teach critical thinking

Last week's Fiat Lux Tan an article that made even a communications major pause and say, "Huh?"

The article ran on page 10—"Can women outrun men?" It stated that, based on linear projections from 50 to 100 years worth of data, women should run a two-minute mile within a century or so.

What?

The article and accompanying graph make two questionable assumptions.

First, the group assumed their data is valid. After 6000 odd years of human civilization, students take record times in one event over a mere 50 years and make predictions.

The chart may be an anomaly caused by cultural factors.

The second assumption is that the data is increasing linearly. In truth, the times may be increasing at a relative rate—a percentage increase rather than an absolute one. There may also be limits.

Projected far enough into the future, the conclusions expressed in the graph predict men and women to run 200m in zero, or even negative, amounts of time. An obvious problem exists here.

The problem does not lie with the honors seminar class. It lies in our educational system.

From Kindergarten, students are

Letters to the Editor*

O l y m p i c R u n n i n g S p e e d s in t h e 2 0 0 m E v e n t ( p r e d i c t e d to t h e y e a r 2 2 0 0 )

3 4

1 9 0 0 1 9 5 0 2 0 0 0 2 0 5 0 2 1 0 0 2 1 5 0 2 2 0 0 Year

indoctrinated into a theory of education which places authority on a pedestal. This "vessel" theory of education states that students are empty vessels which teachers and textbooks should fill with truth.

"Well, the book says it. It must be true."

This occurs for at least a decade.

Many college courses continue the philosophy of "The book is truth. I will lecture from the book. You will memorize the book. I will give you multiple choice tests to see how much of the book you have memorized."

At some point, whether in a good high school or in some college course,

professors expect critical thinking.

They expect students to ask tough questions, examine assumptions and search for truth.

Surprise. It doesn't always happen.

At an institution of higher education such as AU, the issue of education should be discussed. It should be debated and hotly contested.

What is education? What should it accomplish? Does current teaching match these goals? How can education be improved to match the needs of a changing world?

I don't know the answers. The problem is, I don't think many other people here do, either.

To the editor,

The Alfred University campus is once again preparing to say farewell to another graduating class. In only a few weeks, the graduating seniors of the Class of 1993 will be joining Alfred's list of notable alumni. They are shar- ing reflections on the years gone by and the terrain ahead.

Each June after graduating you will be invited back to campus to be part of your Reunion. Reunion is a time to renew and make friendships and to see the campus as you remember it along with new developments.

Reunion '94 will be expanded to encourage more alumni to return to their alma mater. Reunion PLUS will involve classes celebrating five,15,20, 30,35 and 45-year reunions. The classes that come before and after these particular years will be invited back. This is being done in response to requests from alumni to have graduates from neighboring years on campus together.

Congratulations to all graduating seniors and AU looks forward to

seeing you on many visits to campus over the years.

Sincerely, Carla Miller

To the editor,

In the Feb. 3 issue of the Fiat, there was an article on a discussion that took place at a student senate meeting about proposed modifications to the discipline system. The senate discussion was rather limited to one

proposed change and did not include discussion about other aspects of the issue. I believe it is important to look at the total concept of the discipline system since it is a central part of student life at AU.

By the way of some historical per- spective, students have voiced frustration with the lack of effectiveness of the discipline system in curtailing other students, inappropriate behavior infringes on their rights and disrupts their living environ-

The Fiat Lux

Chad R. Bowman, Editor

Tom "Scoop" Tracy, Managing Editor Javier Morales, Production Manager Karla Velasquez, Business Manager Christa Neu, Photo Editor

Phil Elmore, Copy Manager Darcia Harris, News Editor Ann-Marie Bramer, Feature Editor Susanne Dunn, Arts Editor Mike Dziama, Sports Editor Jay Richardson, Copy Editor Jonathan Springer, Copy Editor Michael Zarkin, Copy Editor James Ponder, Circulation Manager Nicole Bryan, Billing Manager Jessica Weida, Cartoonist Jenna DeFranco, Ad Designer Jennifer Rocco, Advisor

Editorial Policy: The FIAT LUX wel- comes feedback from its readers. Letters to the editor will be printed in the order we receive them, and may be subject to editing for space purposes. Letters must be accompanied by name, address and telephone number. Address editorial comments to the editor care of South Hall Campus Center. The FIAT LUX supports the perpetuation of a broad and liberal education conducive to free thought and speech. The opinions expressed in op-ed articles do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this newspaper. The FIAT LUX is printed by Sun Publishing Company and is typeset by the production staff. It is funded in part by the Student Senate.

Next Issue

May 5 Ad Deadline

April 28 Copy Deadline

April 29

Bits n' Pieces

The Health Center wants your old, but current magazines that are of interest to your peers- on sports, current events, fashion, whatever - that you have already read and no longer need, the Health Center would appreciate the donation to the waiting room supply. You can call (871-2400) and a Health Center official can pick them u p or, better still, drop them off in the Health Center.

Seniors - The end is near ! This means that Senior week is just over the hill. Sign u p s for Senior Week will continue until Friday, April 30th. If you do not sign up, you will not be admitted to any events. You can sign up in the South Hall Campus Center.

Escort Service is available at 871- 2108. Ask for a security aide.

Hours are Mon.-Thurs. and Sun, 5 p.m. to 6 a.m. Security aides can also give escorts from an off campus locatipn to another off

^ a m p u s location.

ments. Staff have also expressed concerns about the lack of respect the discipline system receives.

The foundation of the discipline system is to educate students about their behavior in the context of community standards and to take responsibility for the effect their behavior has on others. Most policy violations result form a lack of under- standing or awareness of the policies, are isolated incidents of poor judge- ment, or are a combination of

circumstances. The existing system has been able to deal with these quite effectively.

In response to the concerns cited above, the University determined that it was necessary to restructure the current phase system to increase respect for the system, increase it's effectiveness, improve the timeliness of dealing with incidents, and to be more responsive to student and University needs.

There are two areas in particular where the system has not been effective. These are in situations involving

Continued on Pg 5

Next issue

History Notes

This poem about World War l urns printed in the Fiat Lux on October 29,1918.

The Soldier

I'm sitting her and thinking of the things I left behind,

And I hate to put on paper what is running through my mind.

We've dug a million trenches and cleared ten miles of ground, and a meaner place this side of hell

I know it can't be found.

But there's one consolation, gather closely while I tell,

When we die we're bound for heaven, for we've done our hitch in hell.

We've built a hundred kitchens for the cooks to stew our beans;

We have viewed a hundred guard mounts and viewed a hundred scenes, We've washed a million mess kits and

peeled a billion spuds.

We've strapped up blanket rolls and washed a million duds.

The numbers of parades we've made is blooming hard to tell.

But well parade in heaven because we've done our hitch in hell.

We've killed a million rats that tried to take our cots,

And darned and darned a million holes in our old army socks.

We've marched a million miles and made a thousand camps.

And have patched a million holes in the seat of our army pants.

But when our work on earth is done, our friends behind can tell.

"When they died they went to heaven for they'd done their hitch in hell."

When the last traps were sounded and we lay aside our cares,

And we do our very last parade right up the golden stairs,

And the angels bid us welcome and the harps begin to play.

While we draw a million canteen checks and spend them in a day,

It is then when St. Peter greet us loudly with a yell,

"Just take a front seat company B, for you've done your hitch in hell."

(5)

Fiat Lux • April 21 • Page 3

Arts

Press overplays grunge

Real talent gets lost in grunge glitz

by Susanne Dunn, arts editor There seems to be a general feeling of disappointment on this campus among the so called "grunge generation."

What started out as something that was new and exciting from Seattle has become an overplayed, overpopular- ized, overly talked about trend.

However, some of the talent got lost in the hype. Grunge started out as a new and exciting form of music that was like no other; a branch of alternative music.

Some people are upset because the music they once loved was a secret.

Only a select few knew about the alternative scene and that made them so much cooler.

The turning point can be marked with Nirvana's "Smell's Like Teen Spirit."

This is when alternative became mainstream. As I recall, "Smell's Like Teen Spirit" was the most popular song on W.A.L.F. for a long time. However, so many people liked the song that it

got overplayed and people quickly turned against it.

Soon, the radio was barraged with music out of Seattle: Pearl Jam, Soundgarden...you name it, it came out of Seattle.

So now, it's popular. Top fashion designers are recreating and copying the "grunge look." Some people actually thing that grunge is a fashion trend. It started because people were generally grungy. They dressed in old, second-hand clothes (which included flannels), didn't shower for a few days, and there they had it.

Now people are buying brand new flannels for $30, Doc Martin shoes and combat boots for over $100 dollars, they grow their hair long and shave the back, and they think they're grunge.

These people and the people on this campus are in two different worlds. As soon as the real world fell in love with grunge, the self-proclaimed originals

decided to hate it.

And I say decided to hate it, because that's exactly what they did. They still like the music, they still keep the look, but they've decided if s uncool to like that kind of music, to dress that way, etc.

I've asked people why they ridicule others about this and the majority say that they still like the music, but if s not accepted to like it anymore. They won't play it on their radio shows, they won't listen to it anymore.

Personally, I am sick of feeling guilty for liking something that someone else doesn't like. College is supposed to be a place where people can think freely and make decisions for themselves. If people are that ruled by what other people think of them or are arrogant enough that they can enforce they're feelings on others, maybe they should take another look at themselves and decide who the poser is.

An upperclassman dreams of Barresi..

and wakes to an angry girlfriend

by David P. Holmes, staff writer It was a cold day in Alfred when I first wandered into the Residence Hall known as Barresi. I had heard about the place from a friend of mine on security who said the place was beautiful, so I decided to see for myself.

I walked inside and was greeted by a friendly receptionist who asked me if I'd like to warm up in the hot tub. I thought to myself, "Hot Tub? I'm lucky if I can get a hot shower in my dorm!" I declined the offer.

I wandered into their vax room to check my mail. There were four termi- nals to choose from. And a printer just in case I wanted to have a hardcopy of anything. I felt faint. I thought one had to use an actual computer lab to get letter quality hard copy. It appears I was wrong.

I knocked on a random door and was

let in by a very content looking resi- dent. She pointed out the special modem line in the wall. I was really feeling green at this point. It was then that I noticed the tour.

Yes, the tour. One of our very own AU tour guides leading some prospective students through the newly remodeled Barresi. They looked impressed. Of course, they should be. My house isn't this nice.

I asked my host what lottery number she had last year. It must have been high, I thought, to get to live in such a palace. She said, "Oh! I didn't have one, I don't think. I'm only a freshman." I slowly processed the information.

"So...this isn't an upperclassman dorm?"

"No, silly, this is a freshman residence hall!"

I woke up in a white room, surround-

Letters to the Editor*

ed by people in blue smocks. It appeared I had passed out. Perhaps it was all just a bad dream. I called my girlfriend to find out what happened.

After reassuring her that my visit with the girl in Barresi was totally innocent and that I wasn't planning on moving in with her for the purpose of using the facilities there, she told me that I had passed out and asked if I had been drinking.

"No," I replied, "I just found out that Barresi is only for freshman."

"Oh, is that all? Wait until you hear the latest then." I was frightened.

"What is it?"

"Cannon is being closed next year for remodeling."

"Cannon...isn't that the freshman dorm right next to Barresi?"

"Yep."

My world went black again.

From Pg 4

consistently repeated violations of the same policy and cases where individu- als have demonstrated a pattern of inappropriate behavior that continues to violate University policies. The fine concept discussed at the Senate meeting was suggested by students and structured to address the above cited situations which are fortunately the minority of student discipline cases. The list of Violations warranting a fine sanction that was discussed at Senate was representative, not exhaus- tive. Violations that would warrant fines to assist in strongly impacting behavior would relate to those dealing with health, fire and safety issues and those governed by state and federal laws. The student would have the option of working the number of hours at minimum wage equivalent to the fine or of paying the fine.

Other modifications under considera- tion include changing the terminology used in the system and involving faculty, staff and students in hearing

boards.

A new discipline system has not been finalized and is still under develop- ment. I will be facilitating an open forum on Monday, May 3,1993 at 6:30 p.m. in Ade North Dining Room as part of the "Monday Evening with Student Affairs" program series. I encourage anyone who is interested to come discuss the ideas for restructur- ing the discipline system and to contribute your thoughts, this input will make a difference.

Sincerely, Susan D. Smith

Acting Dean of Students

To the editor,

I want to take this opportunity to thank you for writing the recent article regarding the increased demand for counseling services. There were several items that were not mentioned

that I wanted to bring to studenf s attention. Most importantly, our services are completely confidential and free. Use of counseling services are never indicated on your perma- nent record or transcript and no information is shared with anyone, without your expressed written permission.

Secondly, in addition to individual counseling, the center offers a variety of counseling groups: Survivors of Incest, KUDOS (self-esteem enhance- ment group), Survivors of Sexual Assault, Eating Disorders and Adult Children of Alcoholics and

Dysfunctional Families. Lastly, our staff, which includes Angela Rossington, Cathie Chester, Dana Rothrock, Myrna Berrios, and myself, are always open to suggestion on how we might improve Counseling and Health Education Services.

Sincerely,

Norman J. Pollard, Ed. D.

Director, Counseling and Health Education Services

£ World Notes

by Darcia Harris, news editor Los Angeles police chief Willie Williams said that 6500 officers would be prepared for action while jurors in the second Rodney King trial began their deliberations. Jurors promised that they would ignore the possibility that their decision could cause'riots.

A taped interview with Officer Theodore Brisno, in which he makes statements that suggest that King was beaten over the head unnecessarily and repeatedly, may have swung the civil rights trial in favor of the prosecutors. Brisno has since joined the defense in the new trial of the four L.A. officers.

Seven of the world's leading indus- trial nations agreed to extend $28 billion in aid to Russia this year. This decision was announced after a two- day emergency meeting of foreign and finance ministers.

Most of the aid package consists of money from various national lending agencies. However, there is also $1.8 billion in direct aid and $2 billion in credit and loan guarantees from the U.S. The direct aid package will most likely have to be approved by Congress.

The Clinton administration will announce a new plan as one answer to the question of how to preserve the rights of citizens and businesses to protect their digital communications, while still taking the necessary precautions against terrorism and criminals.

In the next month, anew system that decodes voice and computer transmissions to prevent unautho- rized listening may be set up in some government communication network The new technology could be available for household and business use by the end of 1993.

A new video game developed by a Japanese ex-medical student simu- lates the experience of having AIDs, beginning with HIV infection and ending with death.

The rather upbeat name of the game is Jinai Seijin, or "Saint of Godly Love." The main character is a 25- year-old who gets infected with HIV in a red-light district and must then choose whether to lead a promiscu- ous life style, commit suicide, or live with a girlfriend who also has AIDs.

Top Ten

by David P. Holmes, staff writer

Top Ten Phallic Symbols at AU

10) King Alfred.

9) The little lights surrounding King Alfred.

8) The Steinheim.

7) Alumni Hall's Steeple.

6) Roon Lecture Hall...a little stubby, but what the heck?

5) The Carillon.

4) The smokestacks behind Seidlin.

3) The tops of the blue light phones.

2) Pine Hill.

...and, the number one phallic symbol at AU...

1) President Coll! (Sorry, Ed, we had to find somewhere to poke fun at you!)

(6)

News **Fiat Lux • April 21 * Page 6**

Four AU students meet NY Mayor Dinkins in Albany at a con- ference attended by IASU. Pictured are (L to R) Megan Hughes with Alfred catalogue, Orlando Taveras, Mayor Dinkins, Desi

Rivera and David Medina

rom si s ^

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C o u p o n expires end of spring semester 1993.

Federal changes to cost students money

college press service

Many changes in the federal Pell Grant program may cost hundreds of thousands of students their grants, forcing them to leave college or shoulder more debt.

"This is going to affect students already in the worst situations," said Laurent Ross, a research associate with the American Council on Education. "Many of these students will have to borrow more money or drop out of school."

Some of the nation's neediest students, already hurt by a Pell Grant cut earlier this year, now face further reductions as a result of revisions to federal student financial aid programs.

About 26 percent, or 1.2 million students, who receive Pell Grant awards will lose them entirely or have the grants cut buy more than $100, according to Ross.

Although last year's changes in the Higher Education Act affect all

financial assistance programs, the new laws, which are in effect for the 1993- 94 academic year, come down hardest on certain groups of undergraduate students who receive Pell Grants.

"It's a disaster," Ross said. "Students who used to get the Pell Grants are

finding the grants reduced drastically or cut out entirely—and these are the students you want to get the grants.

These are the poorest of the poor."

The Pell Grant program was designed to help financially needy undergraduate students meet the costs of their education by providing them with direct financial assistance.

The awards are calculated using a formula that determines how much income students and their families can afford to contribute to education.

Ross said the problem with the new laws can be traced to changes in that needs-analysis formula. The students most at risk of losing their grants or having them reduced fall into two categories: students who are single and independent (they don't rely on their parents or other family members for income), and students who are dependent on their families' income and work part time.

"Those students are hurt by the new formula," said Lenthon Clark, director of the Financial Aid Office at the University of Arkansas in Fayetteville.

"Anytime you have changes in methodologies, you're going to have winners and losers. Those students are the losers in this go-round."

AU conducts phone survey

by Marcus Sperling, staff writer Throughout the last week in February and the first week in March, the

AUcalled 500 "hot inquiries" in a phone survey called Telepower.

A "hot inquiry" is a person who expressed interest in AUeither by writing, calling or visiting the campus.

AU used information from 400 to 500 people who said they were no longer interested in applying to AU.

Reasons for not liking AU, in order of decreasing magnitude, were: didn't have major, too far, too expensive, too small, don't like the town, campus appearance, and not enough prestige.

According to Provost Richard Ott, answers like "didn't have major," "too far," "too expensive," and "too small"

are typical reasons students have for choosing a college.

However, many of the students who said Alfred didn't have the major they were interested in, mentioned majors AU does have.

Associate Provost Sue Strong said that AU is revising its publications. Because of Telepower, the idea is to now put all the school brochures into one, excluding the art school.

"The art school feels it needs a separate one because the way students are

recruited," says Strong.

The sports brochure will also be united because many students believed AU didn't have a football team, said Ott.

Now, both academic and sports brochures are individual depending on the sport or academic school.

Out of the "respondents," only one cited the town as a positive. The negative comments included phrases like,

"one light town" and "ramshackled."

"Seems like a reasonable statement to me, particularly if you come from a big town," said Alfred native Joel Rausch.

According to Strong, AU is working with the town to bring in new businesses and increase the size of the town.

The town is looking into a ceramic museum for economic and educational reasons, said Strong.

"Telepower is related to retention,"

said Strong. "Students are leaving for the same reasons students aren't coming, the size, the town, and the costs."

Freshman Andy Forgery, disgruntled about the lack of activities over easter weekend, said, "If s a good idea for the university to check the reasons people aren't coming. Maybe they'll con them back like they conned me."

% S^&io^Ced UydeA, fwùvfo tyfizJyncL

43 N. Main St. Alfred NY W * S ^ H ^ à

J u t t vn, ¿¿one few a/l¿/vo&e cund <jf&adua/i<m/

We will be Open

Hot Dog Day weekend, Sat & Sun 10-5

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The Gallery

43 N Main St. Alfred NY W

(7)

H

Fiat Lux • April 21 • Page 3

Arts

Juan guns down squid

by Juan, the mexican bandito lobster It is with great regret that I announce the untimely demise of Madame Squid, former horoscope contributor to the Fiat Lux. My brothers and I have taken it upon ourselves to replace her Squidness with our own column.

You see, in my opinion, lobsters with large mustaches arid tiny revolvers are far more amusing than a deeply dis- turbed sea creature. In taking this up with Madame Squid it became necessary to shoot her quite a bit in order to make her see my side of things.

Those of you who watched The Muppet Show as children may recall my big break in a segment featuring that gringo butcher, the Swedish Chef.

My mexican bandito gang and I rescue one of our lobster comrades before the Chef can boil him.

While many members of the audience could relate to a group of lobsters banning together to rescue one of their own, they questioned the basis for making the lobsters Mexican, heavily armed, and hairy. It became necessary to shoot them, too.

In future issues of the Fiat Lux my brothers and I shall co-author Your

Horoscope Today: Forge Your Own Future by Shooting People Who Annoy You. I, Juan, would also be more than happy to provide personal advice to our readers. You may address your letters to Dear Mexican Bandito Lobster, care of the Fiat Lux, South Hall Campus Center.

My Mexican Bandito brothers and I look forward to providing the people of Alfred with our services. For now I have run out of space, but remember,

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can eliminate entirely by shooting someone in the face."

Disclaimer: Juan the Mexican Bandito Lobster is pure fabrication. This column is written by Fiat Lux Copy Manager Phil Elmore, who is laregly regarded as a psychopath.

FIAT ShamelessPlug

The FIAT LUX is looking for students to work on the production staff next year.

Experience with the Macintosh helpful, but not a must. Approx. 4 to 5 hours every two weeks, sometimes less. If interested, write to the FIAT LUX office, VAX the FIAT LUX account (FIATLUX), or call x2192. =)

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO CRAM

ON YOUR WAY HOME!

No Other Bus Line Offers Lower Fares For Students!

Special Student Discounts OVER $10 OFF

Regular One Way to New York City!

For schedule and tare information call: Alfred...587-9144 Alfred Village store, 3 North Main St.

WHORTLJNE

Alfred University

Students Sports/Recreation Survey

The University is considering additional sports/recreational facilities for the campus.

The input of students is essential in the planning of these facilities. We appreciate your assistance in completing this survey.

The eventual construction off an athletic recreationat facility is not a certainty at this time as the necessary funding has not yet been determined. Nevertheless, this preplan- ning phase is important and necessary for us to define the parameters of the project so that the necessary fund raising efforts can proceed. Thank you for your help.

1. Do you participant in campus recreation activities? Yes Q No Q 2. Do your participate in the intramural program? Yes Q No Q 3. Do you participate in intercollegiate sports? Yes Q No Q

4. Year in college: Freshman Q Sophomore Q Junior O Senior Q

5. Gender: Male • Female Q

6. How important are the following factors in your use of the existing sports/recreational facilities?

A = Very Important B = Important C = Not Important (mark A, B, or C) Activities available

Can meet / make friends Convenient hours

Availability of Equipment General atmosphere Feels safe to me Instruction available Relaxing outlet Convenient to dorm

recreation facilities? (circle one in each category)

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9. If Alfred University was to consider / additional sports/ recreation facilities.

What facilities would you want to see added? What facilities would you persona'ly use? (mark with a check mark or x)

ADD Aerobics

Badminton Basketball Bowling Climbing Wall Combative Room Gymnastics Ice Rink Indoor Tennis Jogging Track Locker Room

Outitor Basketball | Outdoor fitness Course R^quèitbaU Courts

Sauna Showers Softball Squash Courts Steam Room Weights /Fitness Whirlpool Vblfeyball

10. In addition to the above list, are there sports and recreation activities or facilities that should be considered?

Please drop the completed surveys off at the foBowing location: Brick Dining Hall, Ade Dining HaH, ¿choles Library, Herrick Library (main Desk) or Fitness Center

(8)

Sports Fiat Lux • April 21 • Page 8

Hobart tops LaX team

by Andrew Whitley

Some teams know how to win playoff games. Other teams learn. Against the twelve time Division III champion Hobart Statesmen, the Alfred Saxon lacrosse team learned.

Despite ultimetely losing 9-8, the Saxons led 8-7 with just under two minutes to go. The Statesmen used goals, their only two shots the entire fourth period, from a second string midfielder and a second string attackmen to sneak away with the win with a mere twenty-six seconds remaining.

Despite their first loss of the season, the Saxons remain optimistic that a title is within their grasp.

"We'll rebound [from this game] a stronger team. We know we outplayed them and are capable of beating anyone in the country," said Brian Johnson, who had two goals and four assists.

The Saxons had more shots (43-24 advantage) and ground balls (46-28), and had only two penalties despite playing very aggressive defense.

The defense, playing against one of the There was an old woman had three sons, Jerry and James and John,

Jerry was hanged, James was drowned, o John was lost and never found;

And there was an end of her three sons, Jerry and James and John!

best attackmen in the country in Cabell Maddux, shut down the potent Hobart attack. Maddux was held to two goals and an assist and did not score in the second half.

Goalie Jim Antonetti played one of his best games of the season, stopping fourteen shots.

"The defense rose to the occasion, today. This was our first game without a cheap goal. Considering the quality of our opponent, this game was pretty error free," said defenseman Mike Johnson, who along with Jimmy Coromilas spent the afternoon shad- owing Maddux.

"Mike did a great job on Maddux.

He's one of the best attackmen in the country and he was shut down today,"

said Johnson.

The game was tied seven times and their were five lead changes.

"We realized we are a top 5 team and we just have to keep playing up to the potential we showed today," said captain Darren Kraft.

"We're close to be at that next level.

¡ • ¡ • ¡ ¡ » B S ü P f t i i S

gig S I i l l o

É É H

AU battles top-ranked Hobart

We just need to put in that little extra effort and to move to the next level,"

said Mike Johnson.

The Saxons can take heart in their one goal loss, though. After the game Assistant coach Joe Alberici reminded the Saxons that Nazareth College lost by one goal to Hobart during the season and is currently defending their national championship.

m

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< os E O

There was a little man, And he had a little gun,

And bullets made of lead, lead, lead;

He went t o the brook, And saw a little duck,

And shot it through the head, head, head.

Ladybug, ladybug, fly away home, Your house is on fire,

And your children will burn.

All but one, her name is Ann, And she crept under t h e frying pan.

Selection of Children's Poems =)

The brothers of Kajlpa Psi Upsilon ask the | students of Alfred " \ University tdife^

consideraflof l | l Alfred University residents.

Plfase respect tie [ privacy of our

neighbors when going t6 .anci leifing social functions.

N O W ACCEPTING

APPLICATIONS

FOR EMPLOYMENT

FOR SALES CLERKS

FOR 93-94

SCHOOL YEAR.

Please stop in for an application.

C O L L E G E

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THE W O O D E N S H U T T L E I X . U i i i S i .

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Chocolate Candy Open: 10-5 Mon.-Fri.

12-5 Sunday

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Alfred's Family Restaurant Open everyday until 9 p.m.

Serving Breakfast Anytime!

Lunches and Dinners! Daily Specials!

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