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The Basics and Beyond

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Eviadi Lestari

Academic year: 2024

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It's important to be aware of this when you're delivering your message, as it can have a significant impact on how you're perceived. It's good to remember that your body language always communicates how you really feel, whether you realize it or not.

Communicating on the phone

Your body speaks loud and clear, even if you don't pay attention to it. Some people are especially good at receiving these nonverbal cues, so it's important to remember to match your spoken language to how your body language is perceived.

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Communication skills Communication skills Here is an example where you can see the word that is emphasized in bold. Here you can see how a message can change depending on the word you emphasize.

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By saying each sentence with different intonation, you can begin to understand how important your tone is to the perceived meaning of a sentence.

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Communicating by email

A good headline can make or break a message - whether it's read or not. When constructive feedback is needed, avoid using email as this method of communication has its limitations.

When the communication is not working

However, this is a rather challenging way of communicating because the sender's intention is not always clear to the receiver and the interpretation can therefore be wrong, distorting the message. This makes people unsure or unaware of the reality of the working situation within their company.

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This can result in inactivity and avoidance as real problems go unaddressed, further exacerbating those problems or causing new ones. If conflicts are not resolved quickly, emotions get in the way and negative feelings build up, making it difficult to find solutions.

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A Thinker

A thinker can be recognized from the detailed way they communicate and make their decisions from their head and sometimes they can seem lost in their thoughts. The greatest weakness of a thinker is excessive reasoning, including too many explanations and over-rationalization.

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A Feeler

A feeler may perceive a thinker as too theoretical and self-absorbed, and may perceive a doer as too busy or even shallow. They like to keep in touch with others, yet are prone to mood swings, with an often lively way of expressing themselves. A feeler has large receptors, enabling them to sense the atmosphere and read between the lines.

An over-analytical approach or one that is too pushy can end in rejection, even if a feeler's original intention was to buy.

A Doer

For this reason, others may feel neglected, because a doer does not stop to think about things with a thinker, nor consider the consequences of the decision for a feeler, since a doer is already busy with the next task. Their information may seem to be without substance and if this is the case, it is recommended to ask them questions to fill in the gaps. They get things going when they decide it's time to move on to new challenges.

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Developing communication skills

Thinkers, feelers, and doers are equally common, but you may notice an emphasis on one over the other depending on the job or field of work. If you want to develop your communication skills, here are some proven facts to keep in mind when interacting with different response styles. Respect the boundaries of the thinker, they may be intimidated if your approach is too close physically.

Give good arguments for your point, as they need a lot of facts to understand the situation at hand. Don't demand an extremely detailed report as this can be very scary for them. Truth be told, if you don't buy the argument yourself, it's highly likely that a feeler will become aware of your insecurity.

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Typical traits

If you think, even for a split second, how this could have happened, then you are most likely a thinker. If you immediately get something to clean up the mess and replace the glass of water, then you are most likely a doer. If you initially notice a question about how this folder may have fallen, then you are a thinker.

As a feeler, your response will be emotional and you will likely become worried or angry. This narrows down your choices and helps you decide whether you are a think-do-feel person (row two) or a do-think-feel person (row five). The trap will only activate if you are under pressure or off balance and unfortunately most people react badly while stuck in their trap.

The Trap

Communication skills The reaction sequence If your reaction sequence is either the first or the last of the possibilities above, it means that you have a feeling trap. Communication skills The reaction sequence A thought trap can mean that your mind goes in circles or that you become too compulsive and indecisive and think "should I speak or not?". However, this outburst can be difficult for others to deal with and can often hurt the feelings of those involved.

Communication skills Sequence of reactions People often stay in their trap for hours, some days, others even longer. However, there is a tool that they can use to free themselves from their trap, and that tool is called a balancer. Balance is your third reaction style and you can use it to help yourself out of traps.

Your Balancer

This can be very damaging to an individual's professional life, as well as to their personal health. The second is to decide to do something about it, and this step will require you to identify your balancer and choose how to make it work for you.

Communication styles in action

It is therefore important to be aware that the different pace can be frustrating for both of them, and can quickly lead to a withdrawal on both sides and therefore problematic communication. Both parties can easily sense the other person's mood as they quickly determine whether they like each other or not. A feeler can easily interpret a perpetrator's abrupt nature as insensitive as they often communicate briefly and can be quite blunt.

However, this can sometimes lead to a missed shot when the communication lacks substance. When a practitioner meets a feeler, this can produce a problematic outcome if the individuals are not aware of or prepared to deal with each other's priorities. In contrast, a doer is already thinking about the next step and can often feel held back by a thinker.

Case: Reaction styles in a team

If we start by observing a leader whose reaction sequence is line six: work-feel-think and thus becomes very frenetic under stress, we must also realize that the same sequence applies to another worker in the team. The manager was particularly criticized by the thinkers, because this way of responding is the least natural response of a manager. A leader should really try and slow down and take the time to explain things calmly, clearly and with a lot more patience than anyone else on the team.

This is because each reaction style gives a different perspective and allows things to be seen and achieved from different angles. Therefore, it is imperative that a manager takes into account all response styles when communicating information, especially during a stressful period at work. The results are excellent when all three response styles have their say, as this allows for a versatile approach in dealing with different issues and finding solutions to them.

Presence

For good communication to be possible, the preferences of all individuals involved must be taken into account, and this ability and awareness requires good people. On the contrary, we actually have to rely on all three if we want to succeed. Think about a previous situation when you recognized your absence halfway through the communication.

Listening

Let your body language confirm that you are here and now and stay focused on the other person. Pay attention to how you feel during this exercise, as well as how the other person responds to your listening.

Talking

Trust

Count the points for each group, 1, 2 and 3, to find the group in which you have the most points, and therefore which group is most like you. If you end up with a tie, figure out which group explains you best and start from there. The score won't necessarily give you a definitive answer, but you will eventually get the correct response sequence by reading and practicing the exercises in this book.

NB: People who know you well can be of great help, so if you feel indecisive, please ask them to assist you.

How you react and communicate?

  • Reaction styles – Summary
  • Effective feedback
  • Positive feedback
  • Receiving positive feedback
  • Corrective feedback
  • Receiving corrective feedback
  • Reaction styles and giving feedback

The main purpose of feedback is to change someone's behavior for the better. It is good to remember that while this is in your interest, it is also in the recipient's interest. It is therefore worth developing skills that help you give and receive feedback. It's good to remember that sincerely thanking you for the work done is already a way to give positive feedback.

Corrective feedback is perhaps the hardest to get right, so it's good to pay attention to how to use it effectively. Timing is important, choose a good moment and try to give it as quickly as possible. That is why it is important to have clear reasons and specific arguments why the feedback is given.

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