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Malaysian Naturalist
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Feeling the unity of the universe is Taman Negara's greatest gift. The nature is my God.
I am staring at the dark water of a river in front of me.
Trekking 10 hours straight in the rain with a backpack sinking into my shoulders with every step taken left me with just about enough energy to take a quick bath at a nearby rapid. I can't move my sore feet covered with talcum powder from the dry surface of my sleeping pad.
Underneath is a plastic tarp, wet and muddy from six nights of camping and spread over me is another tarp which keeps me almost dry from nightly rain. In the moonless night, the black water seems as if it's staring right back at me. lt is the same river from 12 years back.
It is the same water that soaked me, cleansed me and made me a part of the water cycle. The same river from a thousand years ago will continue to be for a thousand years to come. The sense of time gets fuzzy. I am here again. This place remembers me.
Twelve years ago, in the Year of the Tiger, I kick started my three-year research project in the study of tiger ecology in Taman Negara. I am back again and everything is still the same - the trees, trails, rivers and
even tiger tracks as if time had stood still.
Through the osmosis, the boundary between the water inside and outside me becomes vague- a thin layer of cells that are also made up of the same subatomic particles across the membrane. After all, I am made of the same energy matters holding these trees, rocks, water and wildlife in the form as we perceive. I melt into the environment and the notion of 'me' and 'not
me' becomes indistinguishable. The blank space that fills the air is full of dynamic web of energy interactions. The vibration of the quark contains information on everything it touches. Things that were once in contact remained always in contact through all space and all time. The field of energy absorbs my soul inside this temporary shell.
This strange looking root protruding from the earth, unless I step on to anchor my weight, surely I would sled down the muddy river bank. The tree must be hundreds of years old. Over time, this ladder-like root supported elephants, rhinos, tapirs and tigers, all trying to cross the river like me. Trekking over 1000km of Taman Negara in a big loop in the 1 2-year cycle of the Chinese
Malaysian Naturalist
l c d i a c , I c a m e b a c k to t h e s a m e ri v e r b a n k . A f t e r a l l h e s e y e a r s , t h e r o o t r e m a i n s u n c h a n g e d , " W e l c o m e r a c k K a e , I r e m e m b e r y o u . " ls th i s r e a l ? H a d it n o t b e e n
o m y a w a r e n e s s , w o u l d it s t i l l b e h e r e ? T h i s ri v e r , t h i s o o t , a n d m e ? M y v a r i o u s c o n s c i o u s n e s s e s f r o m 1 2 r e a r s a g o c o m e b a c k t o m e s o v i v i d l y . T a m a n N e g a r a ' e ' n e m b e r s e v e n w h a t l ' v e lo n g fo r g o t t e n .
I m i s s m y d a u g h t e r s m y t w o y e a r o l d a n d m y o y e a r o l d . B u t o n e o f t h e t w o c e a s e s t o e x i s t i n t h e r ! . y s i c a l w o r l d . M y t o d d l e r . . . n o w a n a d o l e s c e n t . | f i n d ' l r s e l f m i s s i n g m y b a b y . T h e g u i l t o f h a v i n g le f t h e r r e h i n d in K u a l a L u m p u r w a s th e g r e a t e s t p a i n e t c h e d in
m y h e a r t , a n d t h i s p l a c e b r i n g s m e b a c k t o a p l a c e a n d t i m e t h a t ' s b e c o m e a d i s t a n t m e m o r y .
T h e r a i n s t o p p e d a n d t h e s u n p e a k e d f r o m t h e t h i c k c l o u d s t h e n e x t m o r n i n g . G e t t i n g o u t o f a w a r m s l e e p i n g b a g i n t o t h e w e t a n d c o l d c l o t h e s f r o m y e s t e r d a y i s a m i s e r a b l e m o m e n t . N e v e r m i n d , lt e l l m y s e l f . S o o n Iw i l l b e a l l w e t v ; i t h m y o w n p e r s p i r a t i o n a n d e v a p o - transpiration of the forest. This repeats every day like a b r o k e n r e c o r d . T h e m o r n i n g b r e e z e i s c h i l l y , b u t n e v e r t h e l e s s w e l c o m e . T h e w i n d c a r r i e s t h e m e s s a g e o f a l l d e a d a n d a l i v e , a n i m a t e a n d i n a n i m a t e . T h e c h a t t e r s o f l e a v e s a r e th e w h i s p e r s
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of all the important people who passed on before me a s if t h e i r p a s s i n g w a s u n r e a l a n d h e r e is th e i r g e n u i n e p r e s e n c e .
Rich in biodiversity and water, protected from man,s self-consuming hunger for materials, Taman Negara is brimming with life-force resonating with one another through its quantum energy field. I am just one ofthe gazillions. Gracing at the top is the tiger. What shape and color does its energy field take? lf I were a sage, , might tune into the same vibration, chanting the same music with the King. So we literally resonate with the world tooether.
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Every time I leave the green heaven for the lonely life in isolation sheltered in the artificialjungle of Kuala L u m p u r , m e l a n c h o l y o v e r w h e l m s m e : th i s m i g h t b e my last time, my love affair with this place in this body, being united to the world full of energy. The earthy feedback never fails to reassure me in pronto, "Fear not. Transcending the time and space, I am here and everywhere, now and forever- like you."
This is why we must protect the precious from those whose ego destroys his world including himself.,EF
L O f r m e n t s ifLt i!q.lest of can lte sent to kae@malavant o e r n e t
Malaysian Naturalist
