Exploring Mothers’ Parenting Styles and Its Impact Towards Young Children’s Self-Esteem
Nur Najah Ahmad Tarmizi1*, Aishah Hanim Abd Karim1
1 Kulliyyah of Education, International Islamic University Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur, MALAYSIA
*Corresponding Author: [email protected] Accepted: 15 May 2022 | Published: 1 June 2022
DOI:https://doi.org/10.55057/ajress.2022.4.2.2
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Abstract: Parents would normally model the behaviors of their parents when they raise their own children. Nonetheless, there are some parents who would apply other approaches when dealing with their children, which often results in indecisiveness when choosing the best parenting styles (Brown & Iyengar, 2008). The current study aims to explore the parenting styles of mothers and the self-esteem of their young children aged 3 to 5 years old. The study adopted a qualitative research method and was conducted through a phenomenological approach in order to study the experience of the mothers and their children. The three participants were interviewed through an online platform as the medium of communication using semi-structured interview questions. The data was then analyzed using Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. The study has explored the parenting characteristics of the mothers and illustrated an authoritative parenting style across the participants. Besides that, the characteristics of children with high self-esteem were explored within the data through the interview answered by the parents. The findings of this study can be beneficial in educating young parents who may not have the necessary skills or knowledge in child-rearing.
Keywords: mothers, parenting styles, self-esteem, qualitative study, young children.
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1. Introduction
In the development of self-esteem, there are several key factors that influence its formation, especially in early childhood. One of the main factors that are highlighted in studies is the parental attitude towards their child and their parenting styles in rearing the child (Moghaddam, Validad, Rakhshani & Assareh, 2017). In the book ‘The Antecedent of Self Esteem’ by Coppersmith (1967), it was stated that communication within family and the relationship between parents, of the parents and children, as well as among the children is important in the development of the child’s personality, contentment, confidence and formation of healthy mental wellbeing and to develop proper behaviour.
According to Özgür (2016), the practice that parents adopt during their children’s growth, the way they socialize with their children and how they manage them is referred to as parenting style. Parenting style also effectively determines the development of the children and contributes significantly to the children’s psychopathology (Beato, Pereira, Barros & Muris, 2016). Parenting style also includes family functions as well as moulding the children's behaviour by parents and primary carers of the children (Huver, Otten, De Vries & Engels, 2010).
Baumrind’s classification of parenting styles indicates that every family embraces a particular style in delivering personal and social education for their children and these styles are known as authoritarian, authoritative and permissive parenting styles (Darling, 1999). Ebrahimi, Amiri, Mohamadlou and Rezapur (2017) have cited Baumrind (1967) in which authoritative parenting is displayed by having a high level of acceptance and demandingness. Next, authoritarian parenting displays a high level of demandingness and a low level of acceptance.
Meanwhile, permissive parenting exhibits a high level of acceptance but a low level of demandingness (Silk, Morris, Kanaya & Steinberg, 2003). A fourth parenting style, neglectful parenting, was added by the researchers based on the two dimensions of demandingness and acceptance. Neglectful parents are considered to have a low level of demandingness and acceptance.
In studying the impact of parenting styles on children’s behaviour, there is comprehensive literature on parenting styles and how it influences children’s behaviour in general. Commonly, parents will usually model the behaviour of their own parents in rearing children. However, there are parents who would go for an alternate or more diverse approach which often results in indecisiveness in choosing the best parenting styles (Brown & Iyengar, 2008). In addition to that, Theresya, Latifah and Hernawati (2018) mentioned that many parents are not aware that in educating and caring for their children, extreme restriction or extreme boundlessness will affect their confidence and motivation.
However, in this study, a more specific construct that is influenced by the parenting styles chosen by the parents in their endeavour of bringing up a confident child who has a high level of self-worth, especially in early childhood of ages three to five years old. In addition to that, there is a lack of specific studies in the literature review that addresses the involvement of mothers in their child-rearing role, especially mothers who are working. Studies that have been conducted also focus primarily on a quantitative method, while the current study is adapted and conducted using a qualitative study method to gain a more comprehensive insight into the experiences of the mothers in their child-rearing experiences in enhancing the child’s self- esteem. Through a phenomenological study, the lived-in experiences of the mothers can be learned through a first-hand narrative from the mothers. Therefore, it is important to identify among these parenting styles, distinguish the core values of each parenting style and determine their impacts. This will better enable the parents to decide on the end goal and result that are desirable (Baumrind, 2005). Thus, the present study aims to explore self-esteem among young children and their mothers’ parenting styles.
2. Literature Review
2.1 Types of Parenting Styles
There are three types of parenting styles as described by Diana Baumrind (2005) that influences the children’s behaviors and these styles are known as (1) authoritarian, which is a restrictive style that combines a high level of demandingness and control but low acceptance and responsiveness; (2) authoritative, more flexible parenting where there is demand and exertion of control however, they are more accepting and responsive; and (3) permissive, very high in acceptance and responsiveness but low in demandingness and control. They are more indulgent towards the child and exert few rules with few demands (Santrock, 2017). Another parenting style written by Sigelman and Rider (2009) based on Maccoby and Martin (1983) is neglectful parenting where the parents show low demandingness and control with low acceptance and responsiveness towards their children.
Yun, Thing and Hsoon (2019) reviewed the expanded version of Baumrind’s parenting explanations by Maccoby and Martin (1983) in which they added the dimensions of demandingness and responsiveness of the parents towards the children. Demandingness is the exertion of control, supervision, and maturity required in the children’s behavior and responsiveness is the extent of warmth, acceptance, and involvement by the parents regarding the child’s emotional and developmental needs (Yun, Thing & Hsoon, 2019). The variation of these dimensions is what differentiates the parenting styles and the outcome of the implementation.
2.2 Self-Esteem
Yun, Thing and Hsoon (2019) cited Hooks (2002) in which self-esteem is defined as an individuals’ evaluation of himself in his ability to think, cope with challenges, feel successful, happy, and valued. The accumulation of this evaluation will manifest as positive or negative self-esteem. Lim (2020) cited Robins, Hendin and Trzesniewski (2001) where persons with high level of self-esteem tend to be more effective, talkative, easy to cooperate with, task oriented and creative in group interactions.
Brummelman et. al. (2017) cited Twenge and Campbell (2009) that as the self-esteem movement was popularized in the 1970s, children with low self-esteem has been viewed as pervasive and worrisome, which needs to be cured. This has caused society to become highly concerned and invested in efforts of building children’s self-esteem. In the study by Keizer, Helmerhorst and Gelderen (2019), literature has pointed that self-esteem comes from the relationship with others, especially the relationship with their parents. They also cited Allen (2016) who mentioned the Attachment Theory which indicates that secure attachment relationships with parents will help to induce positive feelings of worthiness in self.
2.3 Types of Parenting Styles and Its Relation to Children’s Self-esteem
In the study by Yun, Thing, and Hsoon (2019), they mentioned that authoritarian has high demands on their children, however, they are low on responsiveness. In other words, the expectations towards the children are high and they expect the children to strictly follow the rules and their directions and express respect. This was also highlighted by Pinquart and Gerke (2019) where authoritarian parental style functions by low warmth and exerts high control.
They also cited Baumrind (2013) authoritarian parenting also controls the children in a way that is more intrusive, arbitrary, and domineering. Therefore, the children will develop a lack of independence and are more likely to conform to others (Yun et al., 2019).
According to Martinez et. al. (2020), historically studies have pointed out the authoritative style of parenting to be the most optimal parenting style. However, in the current environment of the digital period, new research has pointed out towards indulgent parenting style is more optimal as studies have shown that expressing warmth without parental strictness produces children with better personal and social adjustment, just the same or higher as authoritative parenting style. However, Yun, Thing and Hsoon (2019) explained that with indulgent or permissive parenting, the children may end up being independent as they are able to make their own decision but at the same time, due to less regulation by the parents, it may also lead to low self- esteem.
The authoritative parenting style exhibits characteristics of high both demandingness and responsiveness (Yun et al., 2019). The children are encouraged to be independent within the limit and control of the parents. Jadon and Tripathi (2017) indicated that authoritative parenting also exhibits a positive correlation with self-esteem. However, Lund and Scheffels (2018)
found that the indulgent parenting style influences better than the authoritative parenting style when it comes to children’s self-esteem and school performance.
2.4 Theoretical Framework
The theoretical framework chosen for this study is parenting styles by Diana Baumrind.
According to Sigelman and Rider (2009), parenting styles are characterized by the dimensions of acceptance-responsiveness and demandingness-control (Darling & Steinberg, 1993;
Maccoby & Martin, 1983; Schaefer, 1959; and see Maccoby, 2007). These dimensions shape the parenting style such as authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive parenting styles, and were identified by Diana Baumrind (1991) as cited by Pavicevic and Zivkovic (2021).
Sigelman and Rider (2009) elaborated a longitudinal study pioneered by Baumrind which discovered that children who are raised by parents who implemented authoritative parenting styles are the ones most well-adjusted. The children were cheerful and socially responsible.
Besides that, they are also self-reliant, achievement-oriented, and cooperate well with adults and friends. On the other hand, Nikoogoftar and Seghatoleslam (2015) also cited Baumrind (1991) found that children with authoritarian parents tend to be moody and unhappy. They are also easily irritable, aimless, and unpleasant to be around. Another finding is children with permissive parents are more impulsive and aggressive, more self-centered, rebellious, and have no self-control. They also tend to be aimless with low independence and achievement.
However, children who are readily independent and older tend to benefit more from a permissive parenting style.
2.5 Underpinning Theory
There are numerous theories citing that the concept of self requires years of experience before a person fully comprehends the concept of self. Garcia and Santiago (2017) mentioned that it was emphasized by Erik Erikson’s psychosocial theory of development that society, including family and a number of external elements that might influence individuals. Parents are also one of the most important authorities that helps to develop a person’s self-concept. Garcia and Santiago (2017) also cited Papalia, et al. (2012), where the parental authority prototypes such as the authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative parenting influence the self-concept. This is
important as self-esteem is the person’s judgment of their own self-concept (Burger, 2013).
In line with the findings of Keizer, Helmerhorst and Gelderen (2019), Garcia and Santiago also cited McLeod (2014) where development of self-worth is formed through the interaction of the child with the parents in early childhood. This further emphasizes the importance of parenting styles and its influence on the child’s development of self-esteem.
3. Method
This study was conducted as a qualitative research study. The approach chosen to investigate the topic is the phenomenological approach as the study is investigating the parenting styles of parents and the self-esteem of their children. A phenomenological framework is suitable as it describes a specific phenomenon within experiences (Bogdan & Biklan, 2007).
3.1 Samples
The study was conducted with three participants who are mothers. Purposive sampling was used based on the following criteria: (a) mothers with children up to 5 years old; (b) working mothers. Two of the parents have mothered more than one child and one parent is a mother of one. Besides that, three of the parents interviewed are working mothers. However, two of the
parents are part-time workers and one mother is a full-time worker. All mothers are still married, and the children have active involvement from their fathers as well.
3.2 Data Collection Procedures
The one-to-one interview was conducted online through Whatsapp application as the medium of communication. This medium was chosen as it gives the mothers flexibility when responding due to their busy schedule and various responsibilities. A semi-structured interview was conducted by the researcher in order to gather the data regarding the parenting styles of the mothers and the perceived self-esteem of the young children. The interview lasted for 30 to 45 minutes for each participant. In order to preserve the data and enable the research to make a thorough analysis, the interview was recorded with the consent of the mothers. The interview was then transcribed by the researchers in order to conduct the data analysis. In order to differentiate between the participants, the participants were labeled as (P1), (P2) and (P3).
3.3 Data Analysis
As the study is qualitative research, the instrument in the study is the researcher itself where the researcher will conduct the interview with the participants, take notes and gather the data, analyze and interpret the data as well. The data was analyzed using the Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis where the interview was read and re-read. Responses from the participants in the form of statements, sentences and quotes are identified. Then, the major and minor themes from the transcription are identified. In order to capture the essence of the interview, the clusters of themes are labeled accordingly. Next, the themes identified in the interview are presented in a summary table and quotes that illustrate the themes well are selected while themes that are not well-illustrated were abandoned. Lastly, a cohesive narrative was constructed in order to add depth and richness to the analysis. The narrative will be based on the quotations and the summary table of the themes.
3.4 Research Ethics
In participating in the interview, the parents involved are briefed regarding the topic of the interview and were asked for their consent before proceeding with the interview. The briefing given to the participants includes details of the nature of the study and the purpose of use of the information given by the parents. The parents were also clearly briefed regarding their ability to withdraw from the study at any time for any reason and are not obliged to disclose the reason for withdrawal.
4. Findings and Discussion
The study aims to explore the parenting styles of mothers with younger children and also to learn about the self-esteem of their children aged 3 to 5 years old. In the findings, the themes identified are illustrated in the table.
4.1 Parenting Styles of Mothers
Table 1 describes the themes obtained from the data collected which illustrates the characteristics of the mothers’ parenting styles in raising their children. The mothers generally spend quality time with their children as can be seen with the theme “Spending quality time with children.” This is substantiated with the quotes by the mothers where they answered that:
“There are times when I either help him with his arts or individually do our own.” (P1)
“She don't like playing alone, always ask us to play with her.” (P2)
This can also be seen in a study by Connel, Lauricella and Wartella (2015) where they mentioned that mothers usually spend more time with their offspring due to their responsibility catering towards child-rearing, assisting with homework, supervision as well as disciplining their child.
Another recurring information among the participants are that the mothers impose moderate demands on their children as can be seen from the answers where the mother places a reasonable expectation on the child according to his or her ability and milestones. However, despite the moderate demands, the mothers do instill a structure or routine in the lives of their children where the mothers set a daily routine for the children to follow. The children will follow a routine that is similar on average days. Another important theme found is that mothers prioritize in addressing the child’s emotions and the emotional needs of the children are met especially when they are feeling upset and having a hard day.
Table 1: Theme and Quotes on Mother’s Parenting Styles
Themes on Parenting Styles Quotes
Spending quality time with child “There are times when I either help him with his arts or individually do our own” (P1)
“She don't like playing alone, always ask us to play with her.” (P2)
“ if we (parents) guide and play with her, she will cooperate.” (P3) Moderate demand from parent “I try to be realistic with my expectation, & be mindful of the milestones
to be achieved by growing kids” (P3)
“Of course, she is frustrated and will show it, like telling "i cant do it"
but usually i will tell her to relax, take a deep breath and try again. And she will do it and it will be okay again”. (P2)
Structured daily routine “She goes to her playschool at 8-9am and comes home at 5pm. She would then enjoy some snacks while i prepare dinner.. then we give her a shower followed by her dinner time” (P3)
“She wakes up, free play, eat breakfast, bath. Then school. After school, she plays then eat/bath. Then sleep” (P2)
Addressing child’s emotion “I would attend to her by listening first and suggesting what we can do about it.. she always can explain herself & how she feels well.” (P3)
“I will ground myself and separate my feelings from hers. I will focus on her problem and discuss the solution with her.“ (P2)
“Well, I would first try to accommodate to his needs or wants but unless it’s something impossible at that time that I would try to soothe him by suggesting something else.” (P1)
4.2 Children’s Self-Esteem
In Table 2, the themes discovered are regarding the characteristics of the children in doing their daily life activities. The children are found to be friendly and easy-going when they are interacting with others such as adults and their peers. This can be seen in the answers given by the mothers:
“Usually she will not initiate the relationship first, but just follow along.. and after she gets comfortable, she's fun and bubbly.” (P2)
“She has no problem making friends & playing with other kids even she just joined them last December.” (P3)
The children are also able to express themselves well when communicating with the mother as illustrated by the mothers:
“With families, she is honest. She speaks her mind but considerate” (P2)
“…she always can explain herself and how she feels well..” (P2)
Table 2: Themes and Quotes on Child’s Self-Esteem
Themes on Child's Self-esteem Quotes
Friendly and easy-going child “Usually she will not initiate the relationship first, but just follow along.. and after she gets comfortable, she's fun and bubbly.” (P2)
“She has no problem making friends & playing with other kids even she just joined them last December” (P3)
Express themselves well “With families, she is honest. She speaks her mind but considerate” (P2)
“she always can explain herself & how she feels well.” (P2) Children has wide range of interest “She likes role-play and messy play. Slimes is her favorite, she can
play that for hours! Most of the times she plays 'masak-masak' and restaurant with me and her little sister.” (P2)
“so far she is always up for it. painting, cycling, swimming, sands
& beaches, she seems to enjoy them” (P3)
Open to new activities “One thing about my first child is he is very curious and intrigued with new activities or things” (P1)
“I don’t think she ever said no to the activities i introduced her to..
so far she is always up for it.” (P3)
Child takes pride in their accomplishment “he would be so happy that he managed to complete his arts and sometimes would display them on the fridge door.” (P1)
“And like when she did some cool activities at school, she would show us her worksheets and tell us how she did it” (P3)
Besides that, the children are also open to new experiences and have a wide range of interests.
They are more likely to join in new activities and different kinds of activities. This can also be seen in the answers:
“One thing about my first child is he is very curious and intrigued with new activities or things.” (P1)
“She likes role-play and messy play. Slimes is her favourite, she can play that for hours! Most of the times she plays masak-masak and restaurant with me and her little sister.” (P2)
Another theme found in the data is the children tend to take pride in their achievements and they will show off their work or finished task to their parents. This can be found in the answers illustrated by the mother:
“..he would be so happy that he managed to complete his arts and sometimes would display them on the fridge door.” (P1)
“And like when she did some cool activities at school, she would show us her worksheets and tell us how she did it.” (P3)
The data has highlighted a few themes and characteristics of the mother's parenting style such as spending quality time with their child, moderate demands, structured daily routine, and addressing the child’s emotions. The themes illustrated that the mothers are inclined towards an authoritative parenting style. This can be supported by the characteristics of authoritative parenting styles as cited by Sigelman and Rider (2009) where the parents are more flexible, impose control and demand on the child. However, they are also highly accepting of the child and practices responsiveness towards the child.
The participants set clear rules for their child to follow as can be seen in the daily routine that they have set for their child. Sigelman and Rider (2009) also mention this as authoritative parents consistently enforce clear rules for the children to follow. They also explain the reasons for the rules and restrictions that they have prescribed. Additionally, Nikoogoftar and Seghatoleslam (2015) also supported this finding in their study where authoritative parents, although demanding and in control of their children, are also accepting and responsive. The parents tend to impose guidelines and give clarification and reasons behind the rules.
The participants are also sensitive towards the child’s emotional needs and tend to address the children emotionally to get to the root of the problem. Sigelman and Rider (2009) also mention where authoritative parents are responsive towards the needs of their children and their points of view in addition to communicating respect towards their children. Arifiyanti (2019) also cited Holden (2010) that another characteristic of authoritative parenting style is a warm relation and communication with their children. Besides that, Arifiyanti (2019) also mentions that the parents practice acceptance, respect, and encourage the children’s autonomy, in addition to discipline through reasonable limits within the behavior of the children (Muhtadie, Zhou, Eisenberg, & Wang, 2013).
In exploring the children’s self-esteem, the previous literature provides mostly quantitative data for establishing or determining the level of self-esteem of the children and specific characteristics cannot be found readily. However, according to Darcy (2022), the characteristics of children with self-esteem include feeling liked and accepted, they are confident, being proud of what they can do, thinking good things about themselves, and believing in themselves. This can be seen as well in the children of the participants where they tend to take pride in themselves when they are successful in their tasks, they are friendly and easy-going with others, and are able to express themselves well.
5. Conclusion
The study was able to elaborate on the parenting styles of the participants and also illustrated the self-esteem of their children. The findings of the study can be used to contribute and add more to the qualitative data findings in the literature as there is little literature on the characteristics of children with high self-esteem. As previous literature provides quantitative study, we are able to pinpoint the specific characteristics of children with high self-esteem in their natural environment. This may help educators or parents to be able to recognize the
prescribed, specific behaviour of children with high self-esteem and enables them to interact with the children accordingly.
Besides that, the study also shows that the parents of younger children tend to adopt authoritative parenting styles and has yielded good results in terms of children with desirable qualities at a young age. This information can be used to educate the younger parents or expecting parents who may not have the necessary skill or are equipped with the knowledge in child-rearing. Health establishments and the government may use the information to educate the parents in order to help rear children who are self-sufficient and have high self-esteem.
Besides that, education bodies may also provide training to parents of school-goers to expose them to more suitable and ideal parenting styles.
During the duration of the study, there were a number of impositions and limitations that called for an adaptation in the way that the study is conducted. As the study was conducted during the Covid-19 pandemic, physical distancing was required to limit interactions and risk of infection.
Therefore, the interview was conducted through Whatsapp as a medium of communication.
The disadvantage of using Whatsapp during the interview would be the inability of the researcher to note and gauge emotional and behavioral cues from the participants when they are answering the questions. There is also a possibility that the answers are answered in a more structured and ‘nice way’ as they have more time flexibility in responding which might cause the answers to be less spontaneous and raw.
In addition to the limitation encountered during the research, the study was also conducted within a demographic delimitation and limited number of participants. The participants were selected from the same demographic which may contribute to similar values and choice of parental strategies. Therefore, in future research, a more rich and comprehensive data may be extracted from samples with a variety of demographic background and with a higher number of samples.
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