Alone but Resilient: The Plight of Single Mothers

Alone but Resilient: The Plight of Single Mothers

Gabriel Angelo G. Martinez¹, Jisong Lee^1*, Mikah Gabrielle C. Francisco¹, Mohamed Azab Ahmed¹and Se Young Jung¹

1Berkeley School. Inc, Baguio City

*jisolee311@students.berkeley.edu.ph Alfonso B. Astudillo III¹,Research Adviser

1Berkeley School. Inc, Baguio City

Abstract: Although single mothers have integrated themselves into society, not much is known about them or their plight. Single mothers often struggle psychologically, physically, and emotionally. They face various challenges in society: discrimination, rejection, and even blackmail from different sectors. As the mothers would be exposed to more challenges and struggles, their children also get involved. They often use spiritual, social support, cognitive, economic, recreational activities and self development as their strategies in coping with their many struggles. The study used a cross-sectional survey created by the researchers. The participants were categorized as single moms, married, separated, or widowed. The study covered the challenges faced by single mothers, how they coped with such, their plans for the future, and how they planned to accomplish these. The qualitative research design used for this research was phenomenology, which added depth and insight to the experiences single mothers have. The researchers identified that the main struggles faced by single mothers are physical, psychological, and emotional challenges. Most single mothers use economic, cognitive, spiritual, and self development as their way to overcome these challenges. Their common plans for the future are complexity and generativity. Not only do single mothers think about their present lives but they also prepare themselves for the future. Every single mother wants her children to have the best education, but besides that, single mothers plan to have a sustainable job and be independent.

Keywords:single mothers; children; single-parent; two-parent; challenges; plans

1. INTRODUCTION

Being a single parent is more difficult than anyone thinks. Thousands of single mothers cope with countless obstacles on a daily basis. Single mothers deserve more understanding, forbearance, embrace, and economic aid in and from society. Single mothers would work twice as hard as a two parent family. They must not only provide home and food for their children, but also ensure that the home is a secure place in which they can grow up healthy and happy.

Hamid and Salleh (2013) supports that single mothers encounter psychological, physical, and emotional

problems. Kim and Kim (2020) states that the ages of the single mothers has relation with the amount of struggles they face. Teenage single mothers are said to have a harder time earning money for their household compared to single mothers who are between the age of 30 to 50.

Ramos and Tus (2020) further suggests that the most common struggles seen among single mothers are financial problems and loneliness. Financial problems for them to have a living and educate their children, together with having the basic needs in the family. Loneliness comes from where single mothers do not have as much companionship as two-parent families.

Hamid and Salleh (2013) also suggested that the spiritual, social support, cognitive, economic, recreational activities and self development strategies are used to cope with the stressful events the individuals encounter.

Ramos and Tus (2020) further stated that most single mothers were seen to be relying on their faith, support from their family and community, and also their job in order for them to cope with the struggles that they are facing.

Lu et al. (2019) indicate pay inequity between men and women, especially for women post-pregnancy. Single mothers were most likely to be in the crisis category than single fathers. It is gathered from multivariate analyses that gender, age, marital status, years of experience and geographic region had effects on taxable income.

Collado and Arpon (2021) states that there is no system in the Philippines that helps distinguish single-parent families from two-parent families. Therefore, when in calamities, there is no way a single-parent family could gain more help from the government compared to the other families who could earn better. Aids are given generally to all of the households, not considering the extra-hardships that single parents encounter.

According to Hill, Yeung, and Duncan (2001) and McLanahan (2009), single mothers, according to research, usually have common problems such as financial health, mental health, and crucial choices that they have to make with the limited resources that they have.

Also according to Ely, Richards, Wadsworth, and Elliot (1999), “The direct and indirect effect of single motherhood on children’s cognitive outcomes may have changed for the following reason, as the prevalence of single-mother families has grown, the direct effect may have declined.” Cognitive ability due to single mothers not being able to be with their children to help them other than financial, and as mentioned in the research of Fergusson, Horwood, & Ridder (2005), and Heckman, Stixrud, & Urzua (2006), “Living with a single mother affects children’s cognitive ability, an outcome which is strongly related to a range of later life outcomes, including school leaving qualifications, earnings, occupational attainment, crime, substance abuse, and mental health of the child.”

These findings suggest that vulnerable groups of

single mothers were acknowledged according to income and poverty status. In this research paper, the researchers delve into the daily challenges single mothers face, such as financial problems, mental health issues and how they manage these trials. During 2016, over a million single parents were recorded. According to Stack and Meredith (2018), single parent families are one representation of the range and diversity of family units in modern society and can be created through circumstances, including divorce, separation, death of a partner, donor insemination or an unplanned pregnancy.

Taking into consideration Erickson (1997), it is still possible for a single mothers to successfully accomplish her parental responsibilities and personal goals, the study focused on the challenges and plans of single mothers.

These are the questions that the research paper attempted to answer:

1. What are the most common challenges that single mothers encounter?

2. How do they cope with these challenges?

3. What are the most common plans of single mothers moving forward?

4. How do they plan to accomplish these?

By looking more into the life of single mothers, the researchers may be able to update the latest findings surrounding the life of single mothers, their struggles, and the aftermath of the children of single mothers. The findings will also help back up and validate other claims held by other researchers, and disprove claims that are deemed false or outdated. The research can inform organizations interested in improving the lives of single mothers and their children, by pointing out specific problems the mothers have, and with the findings helping organizations pinpoint where they can put their resources to in order to help the families with single mothers.

2. METHODOLOGY

The qualitative research design used for this research was phenomenology, for identifying the shared experiences from the single mother informants, as much as their challenges and plans were concerned.

This research centered around an interpretive

approach through the different perspectives of the participants. The point of this study was to collect thorough comprehension towards the experiences and views of each respondent to gain knowledge of why they behaved the way they did together with their plans. This allowed the researchers to examine the contextual features of how it is to be a single mother in relation to other influences such as culture, employment, or even wellbeing.

The respondents were mainly Filipino single mothers who are residents of Luzon, Philippines. There were also other participants who were based in America and Singapore. One of the participants was an OFW, who lived separately from her children. The other participants lived with their children. The participants’ ages ranged between 21 to 57 years old.

To get the needed information from single mothers, the researchers used an open-ended survey via a Google form. The questionnaire contained 2 major parts. The first part consisted of the profile of the respondents like the respondents’ age, sexuality and the number of children they have. The second part of the survey contained questions that required both short and long responses from our participants, which mainly focused on the challenges and plans of the single mother informants and how they coped and strategized to accomplish such.

The researchers found opportunities to persuade

“single moms “ to take a Cross-sectional survey with consent.

The survey provides questions which the researchers can collect data and have a deeper understanding about this topic.

The approach to those participants is to chat with them via Messenger or Gmail to ask them for permission if they feel comfortable to do the survey. They gathered all of the data from Surveys through Google form in this case study.

The researchers used thematic analysis to analyze and interpret the data gathered from the survey they have conducted and the other related literature of single mothers. A thematic analysis is an analysis applied to text and is used to interpret texts. Thematic analysis inspects and scans the data gathered and identifies the repeated topics, ideas, and words which then will form into common themes.

3. RESULTS AND DISCUSSION

Table 1

Master Themes from Parent Respondent Interview Excerpts Regarding the Challenges That These Single Mothers Encounter

Exemplary Themes

Corresponding Codes

Outstanding Quotes Physical

Challenges

Financial Physical Health No Father Figure Distance

“Financial.”

“Problems regarding helping my child mostly when I am sick but no one helps.”

Psychological Challenges

Mental Health Distance Communication

“Taking care of two kids is already a challenge. The biggest challenges for me are my mental health and losing weight. Another is finishing college.”

Emotional

Challenges Distance Communication No Father Figure

“Lack of support.”

“Raising my son alone. He does not have a father figure to look up to that he can call his own. I also struggle financially.”

Note: As said in the research of Hamid and Salleh (2013), the common struggles that single mothers encountered were physical, psychological, and emotional challenges. As for the psychological challenges, these included the mental health struggles. As for the physical challenges, these included the

challenges that were very visible, like financial problems, distance, and physical health problems. Lastly for the emotional challenges, these included the emotional or feeling struggles that single mothers encountered. These included depression, anger, anxiety, and a lot more. These three challenges, physical, psychological, and emotional, were the most common struggles of single mothers.

According to National Public Radio, Len-Len, a Filipina working in Hong Kong, a sole breadwinner for her children and also her parents, experienced this struggle.

Because of this pandemic, she lost her job because the people in Hong Kong said, "You [Filipinas] brought this virus to employers like us because you go out and don't take care of yourselves. We're scared of Filipinas like you." She used to work 6 days a week and send money to her family. Now, she is borrowing money from her friend to survive.

Table 2

Master Themes from Parent Respondent Interview Excerpts Regarding How These Single Mothers Cope With The Challenges That They Face

Exemplary

Themes Corresponding

Codes Outstanding Quotes Economic

Strategy

Work Supporting Children

“I have to be a better parent, so even without his father I could give what he needs.”

Cognitive Strategy

Supporting Children Communication

“I make a regular schedule with them to talk and spend time with them through phone calls.”

Spiritual Strategy

Pray “I pray and ask

guidance from the Lord that he will guide me and help me aside from working so hard to provide everything.”

Self

Development Strategy

Recharge “I make sure to take it one day at a time, I talk to my friends and to my psychologist.

Moreover, I always make time to recharge and recover.”

Note: According to Hamid and Salleh (2013), there are 6 strategies that single mothers used to cope with their struggles and challenges. However, based on the responses of the informants to the survey given to them, only 4 among the 6 strategies to cope with struggles were visible. Economic strategy was a way to cope with their struggles by developing their economic status. Cognitive strategy is a strategy used by individuals in learning more new things that might be helpful for them now or in the future. Spiritual strategy was the reliance on the individual's religious beliefs as a way to cope up with their challenges in life. Lastly, self development strategy was a way for individuals to develop themselves through planning and being with positive people around.

Check out, Donna, a 35-year-old single mother with 3 children. Due to the pandemic, her daily routine of working got disrupted as broadcasted by Philippine Daily Inquirer. She was not able to shift easily to home-working since she was working in the technical part. Moreover, she did not only work for a paid job, but she also worked for an unpaid job, which was taking care of her children.

Table 3

Master Themes from Parent Respondent Interview Excerpts Regarding Their Plans Moving Forward As Single Mothers

Exemplary

Themes Corresponding

Codes Outstanding Quotes Complexity New Husband

Self “I plan on

finishing and getting my college degree, get a stable job, and provide anything and everything for my children, with, or without a partner”

Generativity For Children Work Christ

“To be together with my daughter oneday”

“Work hard and focus on my children”

Note: According to McAdams et. al (1986), they have found out that there were two personality issues, which were complexity and generativity. Most of the respondents believed that the best plan that they should go with was to give their children the brightest future and the best education, as most parents aspired to do. Some of the respondents sacrificed themselves for their children, so they worked really hard in their jobs, or tried their hardest to get as much income as possible to support their children to achieve the highest education.

Stacie Poythress, the founder of Single Parent Advocate, said that it is hard for a single head of household raising two or more children on their own. Further mentioned by WBUR-FM, she suggested single mothers make phone calls to probably friends and family to tell them that they are experiencing struggles.

Table 4

Master Themes from Parent Respondent Interview Excerpts Regarding The Steps That These Single Mothers Have Identified To Accomplish The Plans That They Have Made

Exemplary Themes

Corresponding Codes

Outstanding Quotes Independent Work

Needs Of Children

“Work hard to earn more so we can have our own source of income when I go back to The Philippines”

“Just focus on my goal to give the needs of my children”

Interdependent Dating Help The Business God

“To try dating”

“Obedience to God, tithing, diligence at work & school”

Note: According to Hamilton and Biehal (2005), most respondents planned to be independent as they felt that by depending on themselves, their success of achieving their goals would be much higher than when they depended on other factors. Other respondents had interdependent plans such as “dating” or “helping out the family business” as they felt that depending on a factor will help them safeguard themselves financially, and would reduce their risk of losing out of their final plan.

Mai Padua, a liberal arts coordinator at De La Salle Zobel night school, lost her husband to cancer in 2016 according to CNN Philippines. After giving a good cry to her husband, she said, “This is not me. We take it one day at a time… All my energy, all of my goals are for his survival.”

She, then, splitted her budget for groceries, occupational therapy and speech therapy for her son, and many more. She also set her next goal to set up a business for her son, so that he will have a sustainable income even after she is gone.

4. CONCLUSIONS

The corresponding codes that were derived from the data that the researchers found with regards to the first research problem were: financial, physical health, no father figure, distance, mental health and communication.

The exemplary themes that presented the common challenges that the Single Mothers have were: (a) Physical Challenge; (b) Psychological Challenge; and (c) Emotional Challenge. The most common challenge that single mothers experience based on the findings was Physical Challenges.

The corresponding codes for the second research problem that have been observed by the researchers in the data were: work, supporting children, communication and to pray.

The exemplary themes that have come about in relation to the strategies Single Mothers used to cope with the challenges that they faced were: (a) Economic Strategy; (b) Cognitive Strategy; and (c) Spiritual Strategy. The most common strategy used was the Economic Strategy.

The corresponding codes that have been found by the researchers in the gathered data for the third research problem were: new husband, themselves, for children, work and Christ.

The exemplary themes that have been observed following the plans of single mothers in moving forward were: (a) Complexity; and (b) Generativity. Complexity was the most accepted response.

The corresponding codes for the fourth research problem that have been recognized by the researchers in the data were: work, needs of children, dating, help the business and God.

The exemplary themes that have been identified regarding the steps that Single Mothers took to accomplish their plans were: (a) Independent; and (b) Interdependent.

Majority of the respondents acknowledged that they planned to be independent.

A research study related to single mothers should take place and be conducted in their own homes given that single mothers act more naturally in their possessed environment.

The researchers recommend that a non-profit organization dedicated to providing single mothers with charitable contributions for their livelihood and maintenance should be made. It should spread awareness towards the lives of single mothers in order for the public to recognize them.

5. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

The researchers would like to show their great appreciation towards their Practical Research 1 adviser, Sir Alfonso B. Astudillo III for his teachings and guidance throughout this research paper. The researchers thank him for the support and information he has provided when there were obstacles and help was needed.

The researchers would also like to show their appreciation towards the participants who have answered the survey. With the time and effort, and also their considerations in answering the questionnaire. It has helped the researchers write their paper thoroughly.

Lastly, the researchers would also like to show gratitude to each other, with the time and effort, and the cooperation they have shown while doing this paper.

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