Ps«s 12 IndapMdaat Post 1M7
THE SQUACK BOX
4 s Christman draws near We are filled with good cheer, With Cupid's cooperation A handsome donation—
To thr ifrrat and immortal Gossip Column
Though despised by a few, (We granted they knew;) Son-it's merely a pun/
And all in good fun.
From the wonderful, lovable Gossip Column/
—II.M.
The (Ivudlinv in act, the Jock- eys wre tense,—there blows the bugle, nnd we’re off AgAln on a
mnd rhARe mound the Inner truck of thin month's killings.
Either we're running short of couples, or the men nre getting scarce again, for hero is some- thing that perplexes oven
"yours truly!” Barbara Woody seems to have 100% interest in Mapun's pride and joy, Kurt Seebergcr, Jean Diack on tho other hand, seems to have more of tho same, for brother, it's not her feet that are beating a gallop for him. And we thought that polygamy had been out- lawed long ago! However, Bar- bara has taken ovory precau- tion for Just such an emergen- cy. Max Hauser, although at present being kept at bay, is also being kept at hand.
Before we go on, however, we wish to present a merry mix- up worth mentioning. Sopho- more Donald Prange came into school one day, to tho infinite delight of one Gitta Welisch.
Strategy must hav e gone hay- wire. however, for Nancy Scru- by. who until recently was at- tracted to none other than Bob Stutteeos, switched over to Don.
Jix in Gray, who, on the other hand, could not make up her mind whether it was Bob or Fletcher ll’ood finally decided in the way of the southern lad.
Beverly Bryant now came in where Nancy Scruby left off.
As the age old saying goes, “Is
everybody happy?” This amaz- ing and spectacular game, by the way, is known as "Passing the Buck." Trouble is. . . Who'se got it now?
Although John Boyd has not been gone a full three weeks yet, man-hunting Joan Duffy has al- ready fixed her claws on Mike Parsons. Mike, we claim, is the sole property of newcomer Barbara Harper. This one's on you, Mike, you ought to know when you’ve had enough!
Louie Skidmore may have been here before, but that was before the Martindale Incident.
You see, Diane Cocke found Jim (Bim) Bousman to be as close as this school will ever produce to a he-man. (If he in any way resembles a man, woe to the rest of u b speci- mens!) But let’s get back to Ixiuie and our new senior, Sal- ly Martindale. (How do you spell a long, low whistle?) How this romance appeared out of nowhere so suddenly is beyond the comprehensions of the best of us. Still, Louie, the verdict of the Grand Jury is final: A trumpet does not give off lip- stick!
Single comment on Joan Si- len’s party (November 21): “If seawalls could only speak!”
That ever so solid romance of Herr Hans Heinz Hoeflein and Evelyn Diehl (Caution—
she’s the latest gossip writer for the Telegraph) seems to be loosening up; and as Miss Diehl probably has not been informed yet, we feel that it is the co- lumn’s duty to acquaint her with the startling facts: name- ly, unauthorized fraternization with Jean Black. This inci- dent, of course, demands a has- ty and exceedingly unusual ex- planation from Hans!
Until next time, join us in hoping for a richer and fuller Gossip Column. Until then.
Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year to “Y’all.”
The Umburger Column
(It Stinks) By Onagiv and Snosrap Now for our story. Most of you boys are wondering where those Ten Commandments of Love that are floating around came from. Well, let us tell you, but read the Ten Com- mandments first:
1. Always remember the love of your sweetheart.
2. Thou shalt not love to kiss but kiss to love.
3. Thou shalt not love two boys at the same time. (One is enough.)
4. Thou Bhalt not tie thy self to one boy unless you love him.
6. Never ask a boy for a kiss.
Take it.
6. Always kiss a girl when she says "No!” (She means
“yes”)
7. Thou shalt not tease.
8. Thou shalt not squeeze too hard.
9. Thou shalt not say things unless you mean them.
10. And when you read this you must pay the penalty of one kiss to the person who gave you this.
Now that you’ve read them, I’ll bet my ration of limburger cheese that the one that inter- ests you most is the tenth one.
We know of two girls that started it all so if you want your kiss which we think you should get, and don’t take “no”
for an answer, go see V. Willi- month and Joan Silen — they will be happy to please you.
But at the same time, remem- ber the 8th Commandment
The girls will have to go and see Heley Meyer and Mike Jor- dan for their kisses—the boys won’t mind even if the girls do.
So boys and girls, don’t be bashful after all the trouble we went through to get the Com- mandments I
