REASONS FOR MEMORY
Contact and photo opportunities are best within a few hours of stillbirth or neonatal death whilst the baby is still warm and minimal post-mortem changes have taken place.
What?
Take photos with as ‘good’ a camera as possible and with more than one camera (in case the film or camera is faulty). Ensure there is film in the camera!
It is important to take photos with a camera that produces an instant photo, especially if there are children involved.It is ideal to show children a photo before they see their sibling. ‘Instant’ cameras have their disadvantages — they do not usually produce a high-quality photo and the photos fade over time. It is recommended that such photos be copied by a professional photographer so that a more permanent photo is produced. Tell parents to take only one photo at a time or one film at a time to be processed rather than risk all of them being lost.
Many hospitals have professional photographers who visit on a regular basis to take photos of living infants. Most are willing, for the usual fee, to take photos of a dead or dying infant and the resulting photographs should be close-ups of high quality.
Most hospitals have clinical photographers who also have good-quality cameras.They may also be willing, perhaps for a fee, to take a series of photos of the infant.
‘Disposable’ cameras are now held in stock by many hospitals to give to parents to take photos to be processed at their expense if and when they desire.
If the parents have consented to a post-mortem many pathologists take photographs to give to parents. Such photos are taken prior to autopsy and are usually of high quality.
How?
Imagine the baby is alive and take photos with this in mind.
• Take as many photos as possible with as many people as possible in as many different angles/positions as possible, inside and outside and at different times of the day to maximise the chances of some good photos.
• Take group shots as triangles rather than in a straight line. A triangle has a
• Include at least one photo of the baby in the room where he was born.
• When taking photos of family members, wait a few moments for the person to start interacting with the baby and the photo will be more meaningful.
Ask the person to look at the baby rather than at the camera. People will smile more naturally at the baby than at the camera.
• Take as many different aspects of the baby as possible, both naked and clothed. Memories fade and many parents forget they saw their baby naked at all. Some feel that they can’t remember seeing the gender of their baby:
Unfortunately, I can’t tell you what his body looked like, because we never undressed him, something I will regret until the day I die. Odd as it sounds, we didn’t want to disturb him.
• Use natural light if possible as flash light is harsh.
• Be aware of the baby’s colour and the colour of the surround. A very pale baby will get lost in the picture if dressed in white and laid on white.A very red baby will clash horribly with surgical green and this colour combination is best avoided!
• Even imperfect babies have a perfect feature — maybe the feet, an ear or a hand.Take close-up photos of the perfect feature.
• Wrap the baby loosely — a tightly wrapped baby may give an Egyptian
‘mummy’ appearance.
• Arrange the baby to look as much like a sleeping baby as possible. Placing the baby on his side may be a way of achieving this.
• Dress the baby, place an appropriate toy of an appropriate size with the baby and take the time to arrange the baby’s fingers so that it appears to be holding the toy.
• The cot or baby basket size needs to be in keeping with the size of the baby.
A doll’s basket or cut-down baby rugs may be required so parents can focus on their baby.
What else?
If photos are refused it is absolutely crucial they are taken anyway, unless the objection is on religious or cultural grounds.
Encourage the parents to compile a photo/memory album when they are ready.
Prepare them for the fact that the appearance of this album may change several times as they feel comfortable about adding or creating more mementoes.
Initially I just had photos but over time I added his birth certificate, baptism certificate, cuttings from the newspaper, funeral order of service etc.When we redecorated his room for the new baby I even put into the album some of the wallpaper border we had chosen for him.
• Photos can also become portraits at the hands of a skilled artist. Portraits can be done in colour pastel or charcoal.The artist can take some artistic licence and omit discoloration or peeling skin to reproduce the likeness of the baby as he would have appeared if circumstances had been different. It is also possible to sketch the entire family together and thereby create a family
‘shot’.Another alternative is to have all children from one family sketched as babies on the one portrait.
• Photos may be reduced in size and placed in a locket or made into a key ring.
• Consider using video to record events around the birth, death and funeral.
A still photo can be made from a video tape thus giving parents a further opportunity to create photos. ‘Still’ photos and other mementoes can become part of the video too. A tape of the funeral is often valuable as parents may be still in shock and may not remember what was said and who came.