PART V
Figure 1. A family teaching a child to ride a bicycle with support. (Photo Source: Agung Pandit
Wiguna, Pexel License)
Discipline, Guidance, and Punishment
Diana Lang
Parents and caregivers have a responsibility to guide and promote positive socialization strategies for children in their care. These activities are known as discipline or guidance-two words that are often used interchangeably in parenting education. Discipline is defined as “ongoing teaching and nurturing that facilitates self-control, self-direction, competence, and care for others”. 1 It is
recommended that caregivers utilize a comprehensive disciplinary approach for guiding children’s behaviors.
Caregivers should proactively teach children how to regulate their own behaviors by using age- and developmentally—appropriate strategies that enhance:
• positive, supportive, and nurturing caregiver-child relationships,
• safety, permanency, and consistency,
• acceptable behavioral patterns by removing reinforcements to eliminate undesired behaviors and providing positive reinforcements to
strengthen desired behaviors, and
• cognitive, socioemotional, and executive functioning skills.
For optimal outcomes, all of the above components must consistently function well in an individualized manner for each child, and within the context of youth, feeling loved, safe, and secure. Recommended child-rearing strategies are outlined in upcoming pages.
Examples
1. Sege, R. D., Siegel, B. S., Council on Child Abuse and Neglect, Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health.
(2018). Effective discipline to raise healthy children. Pediatrics, 142(6). DOI: https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2018-3112
Examples of caregivers’ guidance by stage:
• Newborns: recognize and respond flexibly to infant’s needs while providing generally structured daily routines.
• Infants and toddlers: use limitations, protection, and structure to create safe spaces for play and exploration.
• Early childhood: utilize creative and individualized strategies to guide children’s desirable behavior patterns to become their “typical interactions”.
• School-age: increase children’s own responsibility for self-control via the integration of previously-developed internalized rules of conduct.
• Adolescence: change strategies to foster more autonomy, self-regulation, and responsibility while guiding teens’ safety and positive decision-making skills.
For more information about positive parenting strategies by ages and stages, visit the CDC website.
Corporal Punishment
Worldwide initiatives have recommended banning the use of corporal punishment with or in children of all ages. According to the Global Initiative to End all Corporal Punishment of Children, corporal punishment is defined as “any punishment in which physical force issued and intended to cause some degree of pain or discomfort, however light”. 2 Examples include shaking, kicking, forcing ingestion (e.g., soap, hot sauce), and “smacking,” “slapping,” or “spanking” with any object or a hand. Nonphysical forms of punishment (e.g., verbal and emotional abuse) include activities that are intended to cause shame to a person such as humiliation, threats, ridicules, etc.
Vast amounts of research have consistently demonstrated strong correlations between youth who experienced harsh punishment (e.g., spanking) by their parents and increased risks of:
• changes in brain physiology that show on MRI studies,
• mental health disorders such as depression or anxiety,
• elevated cortisol levels,
• cognitive problems,
• aggressive behaviors,
• unhealthy caregiver-child relationships,
• suicide attempts,
2. Wolraich, M. L., Aceves, J., Feldman, H. M., Hagan, J.F, Howard, B.J., Richtsmeier, A. J., Tolchin, D., & Tolmas, H. C. (1998).
Guidance for Effective Discipline. Pediatrics, 101(4) 723-728; DOI: https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.101.4.723.
• moderate-to-heavy drinking,
• substance use disorders,
• misconduct, and
• adverse outcomes that extend into adulthood.
Key Takeaways
• Corporal punishment is not an effective method for teaching or changing performance.
• Corporal punishment has been linked to many negative outcomes.
• Caregivers should utilize methods other than corporal punishment to effectively and optimally guide children’s behaviors and learning.
118 | DISCIPLINE, GUIDANCE, AND PUNISHMENT
Figure 1. A doctor stops and listens to a child explain how they feel. (Image Source: Latrobebohs, CC by-SA 3.0)
Active Listening
Diana Lang
Active listening is a type of communication strategy between two or more people that consists of paying attention to what someone is saying and attempting to understand what is being said.
Clinical research studies demonstrate that active listening can be a catalyst in one’s personal growth.
For example, children are more likely to listen to themselves if someone else allows them to speak and successfully convey their message. 1
Learning how to actively listen takes time, practice, and full commitment. Once achieved, it can build a strong
foundation for positive communication resulting in a strong caregiver-child relationship by building trust throughout the lifespan. This strategy also tends to improve the quality of conversations by connecting with others on a deeper level, 2 which can lead to more positive and healthy relationships.3
How to use this method:
• Caregivers should be on the child’s level and listen in an attentive, nonjudgmental, non-interrupting manner.
• Listeners should pay close attention to possible hidden messages and meanings contained in the verbal
communication and should note all non-verbal communication from the child.4
• It is important to remember that you are not giving your
opinion and thoughts regarding what the child relays to you; you are paraphrasing what the child said and expressing back to the child the emotions the child conveyed.
1. Rogers, C. R., & Farson, R. E. (2015). Active listening. Martino Publishing. Retrieved from https://www.amazon.com/Active-Listening-Carl-R-Rogers/dp/1614278725.
2. Hoppe, M. H. (n.d.). Active listening: Improve your ability to listen and lead, first edition. Retrieved from https://www.oreilly.com/
library/view/active-listening-improve/9781882197941/xhtml/07_Chapter02.xhtml.
3. Rogers, C. R., & Farson, R. E. (2015). Active listening. Martino Publishing. Retrieved from https://www.amazon.com/Active-Listening-Carl-R-Rogers/dp/1614278725.
4. Active Listening. (2002). In D. H. Yarn (Ed.), Dictionary of conflict resolution, Wiley. Wiley. Credo Reference:
http://proxy.lib.iastate.edu/login?url=https://search.credoreference.com/content/entry/wileyconfres/active_listening/
0?institutionId=1110.
Example
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s website provides useful information about active listening.5
Key Takeaways
• Active listening is paying attention and attempting to understand what someone else is saying.
• It is important to note hidden messages in verbal and non-verbal communications.
• It is important to refrain from giving opinions while paraphrasing what the other person is saying.
5. Active Listening. (2019). https://www.cdc.gov/parents/essentials/communication/activelistening.html.
120 | ACTIVE LISTENING
Figure 1. A parent talking to their child at their height can help remove stress from a situation.
(Photo Source: Josh Willink, Pexels License)
Anticipatory Structure
Diana Lang
Anticipatory structure is a strategy where
caregivers share plans and provide forewarnings to children regarding upcoming transitions between activities. This can help establish routines and facilitate more smooth changes in routines. It also allows time for children to prepare for changes, which can heighten their cooperation when the change happens.
Anticipatory structure is most effective when caregivers provide multiple forewarnings before transitions, give reasoning for what the child is being asked to do, and use age-appropriate language that the child can understand. 1 It is helpful for parents to provide praise or compliments for their children as they follow each step and meet the end goal.
Example
• A parent tells their children that it is almost time to go to bed and they have ten minutes to finish playing and then they need to put their toys away. Later the parent reminds the children again and tells them that they have five minutes left to play and then they need to have all of their toys put away. After five minutes, the parent makes sure the children’s toys are put away and asks them to get ready for bed by reminding them of their regular bedtime routine.
Key Takeaway
1. Bigner, J. J., & Gerhardt, C. (2019). Parent-child relations: An introduction to parenting (10th ed.). New York, NY: Pearson
• Anticipatory structure provides forewarnings to changes in activities and can help establish routines and cooperation.
122 | ANTICIPATORY STRUCTURE
Figure 1. Parents often have to juggle giving attention to multiple children, which may lead to outbursts if one child feels neglected. In these cases, the CALM method may be of help. (Photo Source: Anna Shvets, Pexels License)