Who or whom?

POINTS FOR WRITERS 1. Omitted relative adverbs

6. Who or whom?

Because a relative pronoun always has a grammatical function in its relative clause, sometimes we have to decide when to use who or whom. Who is the nominative form of the pronoun, used for subjects; whom is the objective. Compare:

I’ll speak with the man who runs this place.

That is the man with whom I spoke.

Writers and speakers are often uncertain about when to use whom, which may be one reason many people prefer that instead.

Let’s sort some matters out.

When the pronoun follows a preposition (as in the second example above), the grammatically correct choice is whom: With whom I spoke.

Sometimes rearranging the sentence, or part of it, makes the choice easier. If we’re ending a sentence with a preposition (as in He is the person who I spoke with), putting the preposition before the pronoun makes it more obvious that we need the objective case:

He is the person with whom I spoke.

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Suppose we have a question like this:

Who do you trust?

Who may sound right because we’re accustomed to putting a nominative-case pronoun at the beginning of a sentence. But try to answer the question using either he or him:

I trust him.

The answer to the question is him (an objective case pronoun) because it’s the direct object of trust. In the question above, the pronoun is also the direct object, so use whom:

Whom do you trust?

Try out the same procedures with these two questions:

Is that the man who danced with her?

Do you know the man who she danced with?

In the first case, it’s possible to revise the relative clause into a sentence using he or him (He danced with her) which indicates that we need the nominative pronoun, who, in the question.

In the second example, rephrasing the sentence by moving the preposition gives us Do you know the man with who she danced?

It’s now obvious that we need whom:

Do you know the man whom she danced with?

Do you know the man with whom she danced?

In casual conversation, we’ll all misuse who or whom sometimes. But in our formal professional writing, this is often a matter we want to get right—or that an editor or co-author wants right. The he/him test can help us work out these things.

In contexts in which you aim for a more conversational style, a more informal tone, using who instead of whom can contribute to that effect.

EXERCISES

11a. Underline the relative clauses in the following sentences.

Double-underline the relative pronouns. Then locate the nouns modified by each relative clause and enclose them in square brackets, as in this example:

We took that bin of recyclables to the [agency] that collects them.

Remember that some uses of that are not relative pronouns. You’ll see an example here.

1. The house that is being renovated was my grandmother’s home.

2. Please get the book, which I left in my office.

3. You can give that letter to the man who is waiting outside.

4. The woman whose car you dented wants to speak to you.

5. The man who is waiting already has that letter that you left in your office.

6. The customer whom you phoned is waiting in the office.

7. I know the man to whom they spoke.

11b. Underline the relative clauses in the following sentences.

Double-underline the relative adverbs. Locate the nouns modified

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by each relative clause and enclose them in square brackets, as in this example:

Yesterday my father drove by the [house] where he was born.

1. The house where he was born is on Fifth Street.

2. In April 1943, when he was born, his parents were living and working in the city.

3. Spring is the season when I am happiest, and home is the place where I am most comfortable.

4. Marceline, where young Walt Disney lived, is a small town in northern Missouri.

5. In 1911, when his family moved to Kansas City, Disney left Marceline.

11c. Rewrite each of the following pairs of sentences as a single sentence with a relative clause. Make the second sentence the relative clause.

Here’s a hint: Find a noun phrase that appears in both sentences. Then replace the phrase in the second sentence with a relative pronoun that will begin the relative clause.

A reminder: The relative pronouns are who, whom, whose, which, and that.

After you’ve revised the sentence, underline the relative clause that you created.

Here’s an example:

The dictionary could be helpful. You brought the dictionary.

(Use that.)

REWRITE: The dictionary that you brought could be helpful.

1. That man is my neighbor. That man is standing over there.

(Use who or whom.)

2. I like the car. You rented the car today. (Use that.)

3. The woman is at the door. You called the woman earlier.

(Use who or whom.)

4. The dog has been found. I lost the dog. (Use that.)

5. My mother is watching Casablanca. My mother loves old movies. (Use who or whom.)

11d. Rewrite each pair of sentences as one sentence with a relative clause. Make the second sentence the relative clause. Underline the relative clause in each new sentence.

A hint: Find a noun phrase that appears in both sentences.

Then replace the phrase in the second sentence with a relative adverb, either where or when, that will begin the relative clause.

You may have to rearrange quite a few words in the new sentence.

Here’s an example:

The house is a century old. He lives in the house.

REWRITE: The house where he lives is a century old.

1. Gary, Indiana, is a pleasant small city. I was born in Gary, Indiana.

2. I walked down the street. She lives on the street.

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3. Christmas is a wonderful time of year. Christmas is when my entire family gathers together.

4. There is the hospital. I was born in the hospital.

5. The book is in the living room. Ron is reading in the living room.

12 I Know That

You Know