6. Findings
6.4. Adolescent marriage and COVID-19
6.4.2. Choices/decisions made by parents and adolescents
In the survey, we included households that had adolescents but currently had migrated out. One of the reasons was the marriage of the adolescents. Parents were asked why they chose to get their daughter married and whether COVID-19 had anything to do with the decision.
Table 6.4.2: Cause of marriage (N=303)
Causes Percentage
Did not want to lose a good suitor 76.9 The amount for dowry was favourable 0.66 Was forced because of poverty 15.51
Other 6.93
Almost 20% of the household said that at least one female member left home in the last two years (2020–2021) because of marriage (n=1,920). Various reasons for marrying off were cited by parents. Around 76% of parents did not want to lose a good suitor, while 15% of them were forced because of poverty.
When asked if COVID-19 had any influence on the marriage, almost 50% of parents said that it did not have any effect and they would marry off their children anyway. However, 27% of parents said that it had a moderate effect on their decision, while 22% of parents said that
70 COVID-19 had a big effect on their decision and that the pandemic was the main reason for marrying off their child.
Among the 36 respondents of the qualitative sample, 11 respondents were married (10 girls and 1 boy) and one was soon to be married. The respondents’ age at marriage varied between 15 and 17 years. Among these respondents who got married, only one of them is an adolescent boy, the rest are adolescent girls. The parents decided to marry off their daughters. Most of the girls did not want to marry but were not able to refuse as they did not want to go against their family’s wishes. All of the 11 were in school when they got married. However, out of the 11 respondents, six respondents are continuing their education and the rest of them dropped out.
In the qualitative interviews, we found different reasons why the parents decided to marry off their daughters but it was mainly influenced by COVID-19. The parents decided to marry off their daughters because of the closure of school which led to the adolescents being at home with nothing to do other than household work. This created uncertainty about their future. When the parent’s received a suitable proposal for their daughters, they married them off. One
respondent said,
“If not for Corona, the marriage would have taken place after two years. I would stay independent for a few more days, I would get my parents’
affection.”
—Female (17), Cumilla, Married-Dropout
Her mother said that since her daughter was sitting at home and they were poor, they married her off when a good proposal came.
Another reason why the parents married off their daughters is that they were worried about their daughter’s safety and the obligation to maintain social status. Parents were afraid of elopement because of phone romances and adolescents getting involved in pre-marital affairs.
One of the female adolescents from Narail said that girls and boys are in multiple relationships because they got access to mobile phones for online classes during the lockdown. Parents were worried that this would harm the family's reputation. This is why when a suitable proposal came for their daughters during the lockdown, their parents decided to marry off their daughters. One of the respondents was married off at the age of 15 when she got romantically involved with a local boy of the same age.
During a discussion with the parents' group in Gaibandha, one of the parents said,
“My hassle is over if I get my daughter married. Then her responsibility and security lie with her husband.”
—Father, Rural FGD, Gaibandha
Another influencing factor was the community practice of marrying off girls at a young age. This practice creates social pressure on the adolescents’ parents to marry off their daughters early.
71 While discussing the age of marriage, the parents claimed that their daughters were between 18 and 20 years old even though during the interview, the average age of marriage of the
adolescents was 16/17 years. Parents generally denied that child marriage took place in their areas. However, during the focus group discussion, one of the fathers of a son at rural Cumilla FGD said that sometimes parents are persuaded to marry off their daughters at a younger age and they would also prefer 16/17 years old girls as their son’s wife, with 15 years being even better. In FGDs, parents also were asked why girls were being married off young. One parent mentioned that, with higher education, the attractiveness of the girl as bride decreases. If the now educated girl does not immediately get a job, then the parents are left with a double loss—
money wasted on education and an unmarried girl sitting at home. He also mentioned that educated girls cannot be married off to less-educated men, and other educated men are often from a higher economic class.
While discussing the numbers and types of proposals, both the parents and the adolescents said that they received more marriage proposals since the closure of schools (which is different from the survey responses; see Table 6.4.1 above). Most of the proposals came from close relatives, the community, etc. In Cumilla, the parents received proposals mostly from returnee migrants.
Parents preferred those proposals where the suitable groom had a steady income. We found that the husbands of the married adolescents had small businesses, ran small shops, and were internal migrants working in cities. Parents in Cumilla and Gaibandha said that they preferred to marry off their daughters in nearby villages where they can easily commute. One of the
respondent’s matrimonial homes is close to her maternal grandfather’s house. Her mother consciously picked that area so that the respondent’s grandfather can visit her regularly.
Another 17-year-old boy from Cumilla drives an auto-rickshaw and helps out at the family grocery shop. He received two marriage proposals during COVID-19 because he was working.
One of the proposals offered BDT 1 lac dowry and some gold. However, he refused because he is already engaged (in a relationship) and his parents also knew about his relationship.
While exploring adolescents’ agency regarding marriage-related decisions, we found that almost all of them did not want to get married at first, except for two respondents who agreed to the marriage because they had a romantic relationship with the proposed groom. We also observed that the girls did not seem to strongly protest the marriage plans. Those adolescents who did not want to get married changed their minds later on. We found a few influencing factors related to it. Some of the adolescents wanted to respect their parent’s wishes and some did not want to harm their family’s reputation by refusing the marriage. In some cases, economic hardship seemed to have played a role in the adolescents changing their minds and agreeing to the marriage.
“This pandemic has caused a lot of harm. Now my family has made the decision.
Perhaps it is because they cannot care for me so they got me married. In that case, what could I do?”
—Female (15), Narail, married, in school
72 Another married adolescent thought about contacting the helpline to stop her marriage, but after thinking about her parents’ reputation and the repercussions of contacting the police, she did not call.
A teacher from Narail interviewed mentioned that the lockdown and school closure had created a communication gap between the teachers and the students, which is why they did not get the chance to intervene and stop when their students got married before 18.
“There was a huge communication gap with the students at that time.
Earlier they would tell us, ‘Sir, that girl is getting married on that day. Her marriage has been fixed.’ We would try to instill fear in them. We would say we will tell the police, file a case, so and so forth. But naturally, we could not give them this support during that time.”
—Secondary school teacher, Narail
Students who were about to be or already registered for board exams were likely allowed to continue studying long enough to achieve certification. They were less confident about whether a full-time studentship would be possible.
Female adolescents unanimously believed that their parents wanted the best for them, and, in cases of disagreement regarding education decisions, they would obey their parents’ wishes.
Even in cases where they could mention the positive impacts of prolonged education or the legal aspects of early marriage, most of our respondents ultimately relied on their parents for the final say.