Parenting

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Parenting can be a source of enormous pleasure over a lifetime. However, it's also a time-consuming and demanding job. In addition to fulfilling their children's basic physical needs, parents face the challenge of fostering the intellectual, emotional and social

development of their progeny. Like every child, every parent is

different. However, all good parents share some essential qualities that help their children develop into responsible adults.

Flexibility

Having clear standards doesn't mean good parents are rigid. As your child grows from infant to toddler to teen, her needs change along with her body. "KidsHealth" reports that parents shouldn't compare one child to another, and that rules should shift to match the age, needs and development of your children. You might expect a child of 2 to throw a short temper tantrum, but not a preteen, as Dr. Sears

states. However, an effective parent takes cues from her child, whether an infant's cry or a teenager's moods, to know what will work best in a particular situation. Stay tuned to your child's evolving needs by

keeping involved in her life.

Self-Acceptance

A good parent is many things, but he is not perfect, according to Dr. Sears. He also reminds parents that it's fine to be imperfect as long as you set a good example most of the time. In any case, even the most effective parent can't control genetic traits or the outside environment. Trust your instincts as a parent, but don't confuse effective parenting with perfection. Practice showing love and flexibility toward yourself, as well as toward your children.

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before your first child arrives on the scene. If you find you lack a few of these characteristics, you can acquire them in the process of rearing your child.

Active Participant

Parents need to be active participants in the life of their child. Your child learns by watching you, so be aware of what you project.

Embrace your parenting job with enthusiasm, compassion, a sense of humor and a clear memory of what it’s like to be a child. Take the time to know your child’s personality and parent your child based on her strengths and weaknesses, according to family relationship expert, Dr. Gary Smalley. If your child is loyal, consistent and compliant because she wants your approval, a disapproving look or a soft word could rectify a misstep. A strong-willed, take-charge and independent child, however, requires more discipline.

Nurturer

Whether you are male or female, you can nurture your child. You can demonstrate unconditional love by addressing the behavior and not the character of the child when applying correction, advises KidsHealth. Express forgiveness when your child shows remorse for a misdeed. If you know what behaviors are mistakes or age-appropriate exploration, you can make allowances for those behaviors in ways that encourage your child to grow and learn. Employ positive reinforcement when you set limits and keep your expectations realistic and appropriate to your child’s development and abilities. Your toddler probably won’t sit still for several hours and your teen isn’t going to blindly accept

everything you say.

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A large part of your job as parent is to teach your child what he needs to become a productive and responsible adult. Model the behavior you want to see and take advantage of teachable moments to impart

wisdom and common sense to your child. Your child will respond best to lessons that are creative, fun and impart a sense of adventure and discovery, according to Dr. Lisa Marotta, a private practice

psychologist in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Set clear limits for your child’s behavior and employ logical consequences when your child complies or defies those limits. Your child should know that you have confidence in his ability to learn and respond to new challenges.

Communicator

Family communication isn’t always easy, but it is a priority if you want to be an effective parent. Actively listen when your child speaks, looking directly at her and making it clear that what she has to say is important to you. You can validate her feelings and repeat the

important points in your own words to make sure you’re both on the same page. Negotiate with your child, presenting clear choices

whenever possible. Always treat your child with kindness and respect, giving praise and encouragement when you have the opportunity, advises Dr. Marotta.

Characteristics of a Good Parent

The characteristics needed to be a good parent are many, but here are several that can help form the foundation for good parenting.

Respect – A good parent is respectful to their child, even when disciplining. Children first learn respectful behaviors from their parents and caregivers, so a child who is consistently treated respectfully by a parent is more likely to develop a healthy

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Empathy – A good parent knows how to listen, more than talk. Sometimes, all a child needs is a listening ear, a safe place to talk things out, and for the parent to put themselves in the child’s shoes, rather than jump in and fix his problems for him. A parent who is willing to tune into their child’s words, tone of voice, and body

language, will have a better chance of hearing what their child is really saying. Empathic listening sets the stage for open communication and can go a long way in strengthening the parent-child relationship.

Trust – A good parent takes advantage of opportunities to allow their child to make age-appropriate decisions, thereby, instilling a level of trust in the child’s ability to do so. Entrusting a child to make certain choices is a great way to empower a child, and ultimately help a child learn how to become responsible. When parents try to control too many things in a child’s life, it sends the message, “I don’t trust you to make the right decisions, my way is better.” Consequently, the more control a parents uses, the less cooperation they will get.

Leadership – A parent’s main role in their child’s life is to be a leader- someone the child can model, and learn from, but most importantly, someone who will keep them healthy and safe. Leadership in

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Courage – It takes courage to be a good parent. The need for courage in parenting can show up in different ways, such as taking an

unpopular stand to instill values, rules, and limits, even if it goes

against what their child, or others may believe. At other times, courage may be needed to let go and allow a child to make certain choices and experience the consequences of such choices, so he can learn and grow. Courage is not reckless, nor is it the absence of fear; it’s the willingness to try, and do what needs to be done, despite having fears.

Confidence – Parents who are confident don’t have all the answers, but they are confident in their abilities to do the best they can. When they don’t know the answer, they look for it. Rather than dwell on their own mistakes, confident parents are willing to admit them, learn from them, and make better choices in the future. They see problems as opportunities to learn and grow. As a result, they’re in a better position to help their child develop self-confidence, as well.

Gratitude – Gratitude in parenting helps a parent appreciate their child as they are. Gratitude says, “I like who you are and who you are

becoming.” Gratitude helps parents become aware of, and help build on a child’s strengths. A grateful parent focuses on and accepts the present moment, doesn’t fret about past mistakes, or worry about the future. Gratitude in parenting helps parents become more

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Understanding – Probably one of the hardest characteristics to develop in parenting, but the most needed, is the characteristic of

understanding. Many times it can be hard for parents to deal with a child’s misbehaviors, mostly because they don’t understand them. One of the worst things a parent can do is take their child’s misbehaviors personally. As part of their growth and development, children are going to misbehave and do things that go against the rules. Knowing this can help parents anticipate and redirect a child toward more positive and acceptable behaviors, and avoid a lot of unnecessary anger. Understanding can also lead to forgiveness.

Happiness – Happiness is not given to a chosen few; it’s available to those who choose to make it a part of their everyday life. Many people wait for things, events, and other people to make them happy, but this is a mistake. Choosing to be happy is a choice we can all make