A STUDY OF MARIAM'S SACRIFICE IN KHALED
HOSSEINI’S
A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS
THESIS
Submitted as Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Sarjana Degree of English Department Faculty of Letters and Humanities State Islamic University of
Sunan Ampel Surabaya
By:
Mochammad Chamdani
Reg. Number: A83212120
ENGLISH DEPARTMENT
FACULTY OF LETTERS AND HUMANITIES
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ABSTRACT
Chamdani, Mochammad. 2016. A Study of Mariam's Sacrifice in Khaled Hosseini’s A Thousand Splendid Suns. Tesis. English Department. Faculty of Letters and Humanities. State Islamic University Sunan Ampel Surabaya. Thesis Advisor: Sufi Ikrima Sa’adah, M. Hum.
This thesis attempts to analyze Khaled Hosseini’s novel entitled A Thousand Splendid Suns. This novel tells about Mariam who sacrifices her marriage and her life for helping others. This thesis focuses on analyzing Mariam’s character who decides to sacrifice herself. The aims of this thesis are to describe Mariam’s character and to reveal Mariam’s sacrifice portrayed in the story. Dealing with the focus of the study, this study uses psychoanalysis theory to reveal Mariam’s sacrifice and it is also supported by new criticism theory to get profound knowledge about Mariam’s character. The result of this study shows that Mariam is not pretty, but she is kind. She cares to other people around her like Laila, Aziza, and Zalmai. She decides to sacrifice her marriage with her husband for helping Laila because Laila really needs her help. Mariam also decides to sacrifice her life for Laila and Laila’s children. She surrenders herself to the court and she was willing to be executed because Mariam has killed her husband, Rasheed. Beside that, she regrets for what she has done is wrong but she should do the sacrifice. She want people whom she loves can be happy though she could not see them again. Mariam does not regret to live as a Harami because it is not bad. She feels happy with all the happenings in her life. She also feels that God is just. She lives in misery at the beginning and finds happiness at the end of her life.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Inside Cover Page ... i
Inside Tittle Page... ii
Declaration Page ... iii
Dedication Page ... iv
Motto ... v
Advisor’s Approval Page ... vi
Examiner’s Approval Page………... vii
Acknowledgement ... viii
Table of Contains ... x
Abstract ... xii
Intisari ... xiii
CHAPTER
1
INTRODUCTION ... 11.1. Background of Study ... 1
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1.3. Object of the Study ... 4
1.4. Scope and Limitation. ... 5
1.5. Significance of the Study ... 5
1.6. Method of Study ... 6
1.7. Definition of key Terms ... 7
CHAPTER
2
REVIEW OF RELATED STUDY... 82.1. Theoretical Framework ... 8
2.2. Psychoanalysis Theory... 8
2.3. New Criticism Theory ... 13
2.4. Review of Related Studies ... 16
CHAPTER
3
ANALYSIS ... 183.1. The Character of Mariam ... 18
3.2. The Sacrifice of Mariam ... 40
CHAPTER
4
CONCLUSION... 544.1. Conclusion ... 54
WORKED CITED ... 57
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CHAPTER I
INTRODUCTION
1.1 Background of the Study
Literature is a kind of writing which most persistently and provocatively engages with the uncanny aspects of experience, thought and feeling (Bennet and Royle 35). With this statement, literature was the writing that stimulates and
influences the reader because a literary work was the result of thoughts, feelings, and the mind of a writer that embeds in a work. In addition, Wolfreys, Robbins &
Womack state that literature has been used to designate any imaginative, creative, and fictional writing, whether in poetry, drama or prose (62).
Novel is a kind of prose. The term "novel" is now applied to a great variety of writing that has in common only the attribute of being extended works of fiction written in prose (Abrams 190). According to the definition, prose has variety of writing; novel is one of prose which tells about human life. Novel was also called the work of fiction extended in prose.
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psychology fields that have a function in life. Both of them are used in researching human beings as individuals and social beings, especially in everyday behavior. Therefore, the psychological approach is considered important to investigate the behavior of character that exists in the literary work.
The novel A Thousand Splendid Suns was published in 2007. The author is Khaled Hosseini. He is an Afghanistan-American writer. He lives in the San Jose with his family, California now (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khaled_Hosseini). Mariam is the main character in A Thousand Splendid Suns novel. The novel tells Mariam’s tragic life starting from her age of five to her death.
The researcher uses A Thousand Splendid Suns novel because it has good story which tells about the life of Mariam which is an illegitimate child of Nana and Jalil. Formerly Nana is a servant in the house of Jalil. Mariam is a quiet, thoughtful child at the beginning of the story. Her mother commits suicide after Mariam runs away at age 15 because Mariam visits Jalil's house, but she is rejected by Jalil.
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arrival of Laila, Rasheed's second wife. Through her love for Laila and Laila's children, Mariam is able to fulfill her wish to be a mother and to finally give and receive love. Even she is brave to sacrifice for the happiness of Laila and Laila's children. The last, before Mariam is dead, she was thinking if her life is full of
happiness and not regret. She is simply grateful for the opportunity to know Laila and her children for as long as she could.
Then the researcher chooses A Thousand Splendid Suns novel because there is interesting part in the story is how the major character Mariam sacrifices herself for the sake of her affection for Laila, Aziza, and Zalmi. She has killed Rasheed who would kill Laila. Mariam was aware if she will be executed, but she did not regret because she want to protect Laila. If Laila was dead, Aziza and Zalmi will be sad. The second interesting part is how Mariam tries to be happy by loving of Laila, Aziza, and Zalmi. Laila is the second wife of her husband. Considering the
explanation, this thesis tries to find out unstated idea from the author by analyzing the sacrifice that is portrayed in the story by Mariam and it will be a guidance to know the effect of the sacrifice to her.
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custom and law. Hosseini gives a forceful but nuanced portrait of a patriarchal despotism where women are agonizingly dependent on fathers, husbands and especially sons, the bearing of male children being their sole path to social status (http://www.publishersweekly.com/978-1-59448-950-1).
With this background of study that have been mentioned, the researcher want to analyze one of the main characters, Mariam, in the novel entitled A Thousand Splendid Suns which was written by Khaled Hosseini using personality theory and
psychoanalysis of Freud.
1.2 Statement of Problem
Based on the background of the study, the researcher formulates the problems as follows:
1. What are Mariam’s personalities that affect her decision to sacrifice for other in Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns?
2. How do Mariam’s personalities influence her sacrifice in Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns?
1.3 Objective the Study
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1. To describe Mariam’s personalities that affect her decision to sacrifice for other in Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns.
2. To know Mariam’s personalities influence her sacrifice in Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns.
1.4 Scope and Limitation
This study focuses on the character of Mariam, the main character in Khaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns. The limitation of the study is certainly about
Mariam’s sacrifice that has a relation with her psychological aspect. This study also
limits the analysis on Mariam's sacrifice for Laila, Aziza, and Zalmi. The researcher wants to analyze it from psychological side. Therefore, this study will only be concentrating on finding Mariam’s personalities influence her sacrifice that is portrayed in the story and the effect that she has experienced.
1.5 Significant of the Study
The study would like to discuss about Mariam’s sacrifice for other. By using psychoanalytic theory, it is expected that the reader can get further understanding
about human’s mind and behavior of Mariam sacrifices herself. Hopefully, this
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and, no doubt, to help them. At last, this study can be considered as a contribution to the literary study especially for students in English Letter Department in State University of Islamic Studies Sunan Ampel Surabaya and helpful for other researchers who are interested to analyze the same topic.
1.6 Method of the Study
The study uses the novel of A Thousand Splendid Suns as the main source. Furthermore, the researcher collected the additional data in the library and red some internet source. The researcher will gain information from the books, articles, journal that support this study. The researcher will use descriptive qualitative method in presenting the analysis.
There are several steps to collect the data, as follows:
1. Read the novel of A Thousand Splendid Suns carefully for several times to learn more about the content of the novel.
2. Underline and noting the data in the form of narration and conversation from the novel.
3. Classifies the text from the novel which supports the analysis. There are several steps to analyze the data, as follows:
1. Analyzing the data collected using related theories dealing with two points of the statement of problem.
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1.7 Definition of Key Term
The important terms in the analysis notes is need, are listed as follows: 1. Id : It is seen as the biological component of
Personality (Hall and Lindzey 68).
2. Ego : It is seen as psychological component (Hall and Lindzey 68).
3. Superego : It is seen as social component (Hall and Lindzey 68). 4. Personality : Freud believed that the total personality is organized
into three major systems three major system of personality are the id, the ego, and the super ego works together to create complex human behavior (Sulaiman 7).
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CHAPTER II
REVIEW OF RELATED STUDY
2.1 Theoretical Framework
This chapter aims to explore some theories which are applied to analyze the novel A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. The focus of the study is to find out the sacrifice that is portrayed in the character of Mariam and to know the effect of her sacrifice in the story. Thus, the researcher decided that Sigmund Freud’s Psychoanalysis will be the appropriate theory and New Criticism will be the
supporting theory in providing the academic support for the analysis.
2.2 Psychoanalysis
The word psychology is derived from Greek word; Psyche that means soul and logos means science. The meaning of psychology is the science of soul or the science that identifies and learns about human behavior (Atkitson 7). It means,
psychology is the theory in analyzing human’s behavior that has character in their
personality. Meanwhile, psychoanalysis presences to know the indications of mental process in the human's mind or soul.
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(http/:hakamabbas.blogspot.com). According to the statement, the theory of
psychoanalysis can be applied in the novel, especially in terms of mental and soul of the character which will assist the researcher in solving psychological problems hidden in human behavior. Furthermore, it can provide an understanding of the mental and psychological condition of the characters in the story.
Santrock says in his book that everyone has their own characteristic of personality or the character they behave. The character deals with mind, feeling, and behavior that showing how they live in life (435). It means that human is like a character in the literary work which has their own unique way to live their life. Some people may have the same purpose but every one of them has different way to reach it.
Personality refers to the characteristic patterns of behavior and ways of
thinking that determine a person’s adjustment to his environment. It is shaped by
human potency since they was born and modified by culture and common
experiences that affect them as individual (Hilgard 396). According to that statement, personality as part of psychoanalysis theory can be used to analyze human behavior because every person has different characteristic. Even, it can also be used to analyze
the character’s problems that occurs in literary work.
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three activities. Freud's model portrays personality as dynamic systems directed by those three mental structures.
Id, Ego, and Super Ego
2.2.1 The Id
The first part of the mental structures is id; the psychological reservoir of our instincts, and our libido, or sexual energy. The id is devoted solely to the gratification of prohibited desires of all kinds—desire for power, for sex, for amusement, for food—without regard consequences (Tyson 25). It means that id is a system of original personality inherited to human when they were born. It is also the main source of psychic energy and the emergence of instinct. The id has no contact with reality, but it strives constantly to reduce tension by satisfying basic desires. The function is to seek pleasure; it means that the id serves the pleasure principle.
The id strives for immediate satisfaction of its needs and does not tolerate delay or postponement of satisfaction for any reason. It knows only instant
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2.2.2 Ego
The second structure of personality is ego; it is the executive part of
personality that directs rational behavior. It means that ego works logically through based on reality principle. The ego does not prevent id satisfaction. Rather, it tries to postpone, delay, or redirect it in terms of the demands of reality or it is called reality principle (Schultz 55). It means, Ego is a part of personality that has duty as executor, where it works outside the world to evaluate reality and inside the world to manage the need of the id. Because it is aware of reality, the ego decides when and how the id instincts can best be satisfied.
The function of ego is to seek the best way to satisfy the need of Id. The Ego does not want to prevent the need of id, it is rather to seek the way, the time, and the situation that is right based on the reality in life. Sometimes the ego can control the powerful, pleasure-seeking id, but at other times it loses control (Feist 29). The ego has role how to be wise in making decision to satisfy the Id. However, ego is more oriented in unconscious side because ego is forced by big energy of human instinct so that ego should have the best way to solve the problem in the way, the time, and the situation. Although the Ego can control the needs of Id, it loses control at times.
The ego’s job meets the needs of the id, while taking into consideration the
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worth thing for them forced by id as life instinct of human. Then people try to increase satisfaction in living there they need to adapt with their environment. The ego should obey to look for the way to solve the problem to serve the id and give it satisfaction. So, the ego used consciousness and makes wise decisions to solve the problem that is confronted.
2.2.3 Super Ego
The term ‘superego’ is used to describe conscience and ideals (ego ideal). Conscience is feeling to judge whether the action is right or wrong. Meanwhile, the ideal is often thought of as the image has of our ideal selves, the people want to become. It means that the superego represents the ideal values and oriented on the perfection (Bateman 35). The superego acts as a judge or censor for the thoughts and actions of the ego. The superego is also called the conscience which reflects actions for which a person has been punished. When standards of the conscience are not met, it can be punished internally by guilty feelings. Then the ego ideal reflects all
behavior approved of or rewarded by one’s parents. The ego ideal is a source of goals and aspirations.
In his theory, Freud says that the superego begin with his attempt to explain why certain people suffers from an overly severe conscience and why they are subjected to extreme and unrealistic self-criticism and self-attack. His
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internalized the norms and prohibitions that they taught us (Heller 92). It means, the superego refers to morality in personality. The superego will leads the human behavior which tries to satisfy the need of the Id based on the rules of society, religion, and beliefs.
The superego represents the moral and ideal aspects of personality and is guided by the moralisticand idealistic principlesas opposed to the pleasure principle
of the id and the realistic principle of the ego. The term ‘superego’ is used to describe
conscience and ideals (ego ideal). Conscience is feeling to judge whether the action is right or wrong. Meanwhile, the ideal is often thought of as the image we have of our ideal selves, the people we want to become. It means that the superego represents the ideal values and oriented on the perfection (Bateman 35).
After reviewing psychoanalysis theory, this is, as the main theory is used to
analyze Mariam as the main character of Hosseini’s A Thousand Splendid Suns,
especially on how she decide to sacrifice towards other people, and then she surrender herself for execution. This study wants to reveal the sacrifice portrayed in the story and all the consequences she has to face because of her decision.
2.3 New Criticism
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the statement, every reader has the different interpretation when they are reading, but the literary text stays the same. Its meaning is as objective as its physical existence on the page, so that textual evidence becomes an important ingredient in the theory of new criticism for long time ago.
New criticism focuses and concentrates in the text itself without regard the historical context, biographical intellectual, and so on (Selden 19). Although the intention of the author, historical context, and reader responses are sometimes mentioned in the New Critical reading of literary texts, but it does not include the focus of the analysis because the most important concepts is the text itself.
Furthermore, Tyson also states that the way to know the author’s intention or reader’s interpretation is examining carefully the formal element of text such as
characterization, setting of the time and place, point of view, plot, images, metaphor and symbols so that it can find the theme (137).
Characters are the persons represented in a dramatic or narrative work, who are interpreted by the reader as being endowed with particular moral, intellectual and emotional qualities by inferences from what the persons say and their distinctive ways of saying it (Abrams 31). A literary work always has characters who have moral, intellectual, and emotional different. So the characters are people in literature and they are regarded as the principle ingredient in literature.
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presented without much individualizing detail, and therefore can be fairly adequately described in a single phrase or sentence. Meanwhile, a round character is complex in temperament and motivation and is represented with subtle particularity; such a character therefore is as difficult to describe with any adequacy as a person in real life, and like real persons, is capable of surprising us (43).
Characters in literary work are also divided into major and minor characters depending on their roles in the story. The major characters can be called character which has significance role. They usually appear frequently throughout the plot in the whole story. So, character is difficult to describe with any adequacy like real life, but they can surprise readers.
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Character is not enough to build a story, it must be clear how the author depicts the character in order to be more alive in a story. It is what is called as characterization. Characterization is a technique of a writer which is used to create, reveal, or develop the characters in a narrative (qtd in Wigayanti 25).There are two methods in characterizing the character. They are direct and indirect methods. The direct method is telling the attribution of qualities in describing character or
commentary of other character. Meanwhile, indirect method is allowing the readers to
infer based on character’s actions, speech, or appearance throughout the story
(Baldick 37). Those types of the characterization are used to analyze a character in the story. Each of them is used to describe the character.
From the previous, this study uses new criticism as supporting theory to identify the main character, Mariam, in the novel. It will be a guidance to understand all about the character of Mariam and it will help the researcher in identifying the sacrifice that has done by Mariam in the story.
2.4 Review of Related Study
There are some researchers who use the novel A Thousand Splendid Suns as the object of analyzing but use different theories. The first is the student of Sanata Dharma University. The title is The influence of Jalil, Rasheed, and Laila on Mariam’s Personality changes in Khaled Hosseini’s A Thousand Splendid Suns by
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influences Mariam. She said Jalil influences Mariam’s self-respect, affection but lose it all. Rasheed influenced Mariam’s reflection, self-respect, submissiveness, and
temperamental state. Laila influences Mariam’s bravery, friendliness, affection, and
self-respect.
Second, the student of Sanatha Dharma University, Women’s Struggle Against Gender Discrimination as Seen through the Major Characters in Khaled Hosseini’s A
Thousand Splendid Suns written 2010 by Lucia Eri Styaningsih. She stated Mariam
criticizes the culture which she struggles against gender discrimination. Mariam obeys all culture for women in her place. Mariam and Laila want to get the right choice in their life, their education and happiness.
Third, Fajar Nur Indriyany in Sunan Kalijaga State Islamic University, wrote Mariam’s Search for Meaning of Life in Khaled Hosseini’s A Thousand Splendid
Suns by student 2014. She said Mariam has strong spiritual of life in her heart.
Mariam is careful, positive thinking, submissive to parent and husband. Based on those explanations, they used the same object but in different focuses. Meanwhile, the study focuses on Mariam as the main character in the novel,
this study’s researcher wants to reveal the sacrifice that is done by Mariam to Laila,
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CHAPTER III
ANALYSIS
In this chapter, the researcher wants to analyze the sacrifice as seen through
Mariam’s character. Firstly examining on her character, it is hoped to gain profound
knowledge about the character of Mariam clearly. After having the fundamental
background of Mariam’s character, then it is intended to reveal her sacrifices toward
other people. Thus, this study provides more understanding of her sacrifices that influence the entire life and viewpoint of Mariam based on her id, ego, and superego.
3.1 Mariam’s Character
Mariam’s Personality
Mariam was the female protagonist. She was a thoughtful child at the start of the book. She did not want to interrupt Nana’s hatred against Jalil, she just keep it to herself for any opinions spoken by her mother:
To Jalil and his wives, I was a pokeroot. A mugwort. You too. And you weren't even born yet." "What's a mugwort?" Mariam asked "A weed," Nana said. "Something you rip out and toss aside."
Mariam frowned internally. Jalil didn't treat her as a weed. He never had. But Mariam thought it wise to suppress this protest.
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The quotation shows that Mariam has great respect for his mother even though her mother always tell her something bad about her father. Although Nana always tell bad stories about Jalil and his wives, Mariam preferred to hold her protests. She would receive all the stories from her mother though Mariam believed that Jalil as her father did not as bad as pronounced by her mother.
Mariam is a dutiful daughter to her mother. Although Mariam loved her father, she did not dare to tell it to her mother. She will keep it to herself. Mariam is very happy about the arrival of her father, who always brings a gift for her:
Mariam would listen dutifully to this. She never dared say to Nana how much she disliked her talking this way about Jalil. The truth was that around Jalil, Mariam did not feel at all like a harami. For an hour or two every Thursday, when Jalil came to see her, all smiles and gifts and endearments, Mariam felt deserving of all the beauty and bounty that life had to give. And, for this, Mariam loved Jalil (5).
From the previous quotation, Mariam listens to what her mother says even though she is not like the way her mother is talking about her father. She was more comfortable on the side her father because she was getting affection. Her father treats her well.
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By the time it did occur to her, around the time she turned ten, Mariam no longer believed this story of her birth. She believed Jalil’s version, that though he'd been away he'd arranged for Nana to be taken to a hospital in Herat where she had been tended to by a doctor. She had lain on a clean, proper bed in a well-lit room. Jalil shook his head with sadness when Mariam told him about the knife.
Mariam also came to doubt that she had made her mother suffer for two full days.
"They told me it was all over within under an hour," Jalil said. "You were a good daughter, Mariam jo. Even in birth you were a good daughter." (5) Here is seen that Mariam begin to doubt her mother’s stories. To answer her curiosity, Mariam always ask the truth of her mother’s story to her father when he visits. It turns out that there was a difference between her mother’s and father's story. This situation made Mariam feels that the Nana’s story who always blames Mariam as an illegitimate child, while the story of Jalil always praises Mariam as a good child. So Mariam feels the beauty of the moment with her father more than with her mother.
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Mariam felt sorry for the boys. How tired their arms and legs must be, she thought pityingly, pushing that heavy load. She wished she were allowed to offer them water. But she said nothing, and if they waved at her she didn't wave back. Once, to please Nana, Mariam even yelled at Muhsin, told him he had a mouth shaped like a lizard's ass-and was consumed later with guilt, shame, and fear that they would tell Jalil. Nana, though,
laughed so hard, her rotting front tooth in full display, that Mariam thought she would lapse into one of her fits. She looked at Mariam when she was done and said, "You're a good daughter." (6)
From that information, there is a fact that Mariam felt compassion for the two boys whom bring a cart containing rice from jalil to Nana and Mariam. She want to offer a drink for them, but she is afraid if her mother scold her. Jalil orders them to send food supplies for Nana and Mariam, they are Jalil’s children. Even so, Nana hates those two boys that lived in Herat. Without shame, Nana will curse them with dirty words and chaff their mother with laugh. Finally, Mariam joins her to mock both brothers with the aim to please her mother. But both of them did not reciprocate, so that Mariam feels guilty, shame, and fear that they would complain to Jalil.
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One day, as they were walking, Mariam told him that she wished she would be allowed to go to school.
"I mean a real school, akhund sahib. Like in a classroom. Like my father's other kids."
Mullah Faizullah stopped. (8)
From the previous, actually Mariam has great expectations for education. She recounts her desire for study in the school to Mullah Faizullah because he is a teacher as well as a good listener for Mariam. So he will easily tell Nana anything what Mariam thinks, especially something that she dares not tell her father and mother. Mariam’s expectation begins from the news that the two daughters of Jalil will study in the schools of Herat. This news make Mariam pictures herself learning at school.
Since Mariam was childhood, she always obeys her mother, she never denies even though her mother is always talking dirty to her. She will be silent and not protest if her mother does not fulfill her wish:
"It's our lot in life, Mariam. Women like us. We endure. It's all we have. Do you understand?
Besides, they'll laugh at you in school. They will. They'll call you harami. They'll say the most terrible things about you. I won't have it." Mariam nodded.
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From the previous, Mariam dares not disobey her mother. She would comply with what was spoken by her mother. She will nod her head if the mother did not fulfill her desire to learn in the school. Her mother has own reason that if Mariam learn at the school, she would be mocked by her friends as an illegitimate child. Her mother does not want it to happen to Mariam.
Mariam is very happy if there is a guest in her home. But from all the guests, only Jalil whom Mariam misses. Mariam is agitated every Thursday, her restlessness arises because she thinks of Jalil. She is afraid if Jalil will not come on Thursday because of his business affairs:
Mariam loved having visitors at the kolba. The village arbab and his gifts, Bibi jo and her aching hip and endless gossiping, and, of course, Mullah Faizullah. But there was no one, no one, that Mariam longed to see more than Jalil.
The anxiety set in on Tuesday nights. Mariam would sleep poorly, fretting that some business entanglement would prevent Jalil from coming on Thursday, that she would have to wait a whole other week to see him. On Wednesdays, she paced outside, around the kolba, tossed chicken feed absentmindedly into the coop. She went for aimless walks, picking petals from flowers and batting at the mosquitoes nibbling on her arms.
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bit by bit. Her knees would weaken, and she would have to go somewhere and lie down (10).
The quotations show that Jalil, Mullah Faizullah and Jo are Mariam’s guest. She is very pleased if one of them comes to her house. But, from all the guests of Mariam, only one person who can make Mariam feels anxious, he is her father named Jalil. Mariam always wait Jalil because she is very pleased upon his arrival. She becomes restless on Tuesday. She cannot sleep because she always busy to think about Jalil. She is afraid if Jalil have not come to her home on Thursday. Mariam’s mind would drift everywhere about Jalil, so she cannot sleep. On Wednesday, she would be busy by herself and playing around her house. In order for her not to think of Jalil. Thursday, Mariam will wait Jalil to arrive in Kolba. If Jalil have not come at an hour that has been specified, she will go and get a place to sleep. When she is going to sleep, her mother Nana will let her know if Jalil have come. Mariam will wake up, ran to meet Jalil spontaneously. She will wait for Jalil until he arrives in front of her house. Mariam was very happy at this time.
Mariam is a child who likes a gift, not only that she is a child, but she also want to show her mother that Jalil is not like what she thought. She wanted to show that Jalil very concerned about her and loved her. Even Mariam would not think anything if she has seen the prize that Jalil bring:
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"Are you listening?" "I am."
He saw her looking at the bulge in his coat's side pocket. "Ah. Of course. Well. Here, then. Without further ado…"
He fished a small box from his pocket and gave it to her. He did this from time to time, bring her small presents. A carnelian bracelet cuff one time, a choker with lapis lazuli beads another. That day, Mariam opened the box and found a leaf-shaped pendant, tiny coins etched with moons and stars hanging from it (11-12).
The quotations show that Mariam is very happy if she gets a gift, especially a gift given by Jalil. When she sees the gift in the pocket of Jalil, Mariam would focus on the object. Even she did not listen to what was jalil talking about. So Jalil would stop his talking, than he gave the gift to Mariam. Everytime Jalil visited Mariam, Jalil always brings a gift. At the time, Jalil gives Mariam a leaf-shaped pendant necklace decorated with moons and stars. Mariam is very happy because Jalil praises her after putting the necklace around her neck. Then her mother will talk that the necklace is ugly because according to Nana all of the gift that are given by Jalil are ugly and cheap.
Actually Mariam was a good girl, she does not want to say the words that will offend her mother, though she know that her mother always lies and makes her as an
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in the world. From this moment, Mariam begins to presume that her mother does not want Mariam to be happy:
"What a stupid girl you are! You think you matter to him, that you're wanted in his house?
You think you're a daughter to him? That he's going to take you in? Let me tell you something- A man's heart is a wretched, wretched thing, Mariam. It isn't like a mother's womb. It won't bleed, it won't stretch to make room for you. I'm the only one who loves you. I'm all you have in this world, Mariam, and when I'm gone you'll have nothing.
You'll have nothing. You are nothing!" Then she tried guilt.
"I'll die if you go.The jinn will come, and I'll have one of my fits. You'll see, I'll swallow my tongue and die. Don't leave me, Mariam jo. Please stay. I'll die if you go."
Mariam said nothing.
"You know I love you, Mariam jo." Mariam said she was going for a walk.
She feared she might say hurtful things if she stayed: that she knew the jinn was a lie, that Jalil had told her that what Nana had was a disease with
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wouldn't take the pills he'd bought for her. If she could articulate it, she might have said to Nana that she was tired of being an instrument, of being lied to, laid claim to, used. That she was sick of Nana twisting the truths of their life and making her, Mariam, another of her grievances against the world.
You 're afraid, Nana, she might have said. You 're afraid that 1 might find
the happiness you never had. And you don 'i want me to be happy. You
don't want a good life for me. You 're the one with the wretched heart (14).
The quotations indicate that Nana did not want Mariam to go to Herat. Mariam know that her mother is not willing if Jalil take her to Herat. Nana will indicate that Jalil would not recognize her as his son. Nana is threatening, if Mariam goes, Nana would die, and the genie would go into her mother's body. Her mother tries to instill guilt to Mariam in order to make her not go to the Herat. Nana says that she is the only person who loved Mariam. Nana begin to talk that Mariam will not be
acceptable at Jalil’s home. According to Nana, man's heart is so cursed, different
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Mariam is already tired of listening to the Nana’s story. Mariam thinks that Nana only envious and afraid if Mariam got a happier life than her.
Mariam was a child who had a good memory. She memorizes all of her brothers in Herat although she never meets them. But Mariam hides it because she is afraid if her mother is mad at her. Even Mariam also fears to be called a traitor by her mother if she goes to Herat. She is a child who wants to have a family’s intact and harmony:
She picked up ten pebbles and arranged them vertically, in three columns. This was a game that she played privately from time to time when Nana wasn't looking. She put four pebbles in the first column, for Khadija's children, three for Afsoon's, and three in the third column for Nargis's children. Then she added a fourth column. A solitary, eleventh pebble. The next morning, Mariam wore a cream-colored dress that fell to her knees, cotton trousers, and a green hijab over her hair. She agonized a bit over the hijab, its being green and not matching the dress, but it would have to do-moths had eaten holes into her white one.
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aggrieved looks. Nana would accuse her of betrayal. She would mock her for her mistaken ambition (15-16).
The quotation indicates that Mariam memorizes her brothers secretly by playing the gravel to be used as a large family. Mariam was separating the gravels
into four columns, the first column contains four pebbles symbolizing Khadija’s
children, the second column contains three gravels for Afsoon’s children, the third column contains three gravels for Nargis’s children, and the fourth column contains an isolated gravel, it is herself. Mariam does this in order to memorize the names of her brothers if she met them. Mariam has hopes that one day she would met her brothers and played together in Herat. Mariam always plays pebbles if her mother does not see her because she is afraid that Nana will be angry with her. She is also afraid to be called a traitor over her ambition which according to Nana is wrong.
Mariam is a child who does not want to give up. Mariam will wait Jalil until he comes. Mariam always assumes a good faith towards her father. If Jalil is late, she always thinks that maybe her father is busy working. But Mariam want to go to Herat without considering anything that will happen. Mariam was stubborn; she begins to show impatience, after waiting Jalil who has not come, Mariam decides to seek for Jalil in Herat:
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She went back to the stream and waited awhile longer. Blackbirds circled overhead, dipped into the grass somewhere. She watched a caterpillar inching along the foot of an immature thistle.
She waited until her legs were stiff. This time, she did not go back to the kolba She rolled up the legs of her trousers to the knees, crossed the
stream, and, for the first time in her life, headed down the hill for Herat (15).
From the previous quotation, Mariam begins to feel confused when Jalil have not come to visit her. But Mariam is having good prejudice about Jalil although he does not come because he is busy taking care of his business. Mariam waits Jalil again until her foot is tired. She couls not wait Jalil because her desire was very great. She feels impatient to meet her father. Finally Mariam decides to not return to the kolba. She goes to Herat because of the definite decision. She starts to cross the river. This is the first time for Mariam to go out of the kolba. She does not care about Nana’s prohibition if she will go to Herat.
Mariam is a child who wants to be praised, especially the praising for her courage to goes to the city of Herat alone. Mariam is also a child that craves for a loving life in one big family:
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She wished Mullah Faizullah could see her now. How daring he would find her.
How brave! She gave herself over to the new life that awaited her in this city, a life with a father, with sisters and brothers, a life in which she would love and be loved back, without reservation or agenda, without shame (16).
When Mariam arrives in the city of Herat, she is very happy because she is able to go to the city that she wants in order to meet Jalil. Mariam wanted to show the courage to Mullah Faizullah. She believed that the teacher will be proud of her. Mariam begins to imagine a new life with her father. She wanted to stay with her
brothers at Jalil’s home. She wanted to feel new life that is full of love in Herat.
Mariam is a child who does not falter. She will pass her anxiety caused by Nana. Although Mariam is afraid and anxious if her mother is angry, Mariam will not let her anxiety stays for a long time:
For a moment, Mariam heard Nana's voice in her head, mocking, dousing the deep-seated glow of her hopes. With shaky legs, Mariam approached the front door of the house.
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breeze, and she imagined they were nodding their welcome to her. Mariam steadied herself against the waves of dismay passing through her (17). When Mariam arrives in front of the Jalil’s house, Mariam begins to worry; she is like hearing the voice of Nana who is angry with her. Actually she feels guilty, but she has already decided this. Finally she throws her guilt because she believed that she will be received at Jalil’s home and got a happy life.
Mariam was a persistent child; she also a stubborn child because she is willing
to wait until morning in front of Jalil’s house. Even, she did not want a ride back to
the Kolba or stay in a Hotel offered by Jalil’s driver. Mariam also did not mind that Jalil is not back home. She will keep waiting:
Mariam said she would wait-He closed the gates. Mariam sat, and drew her knees to her chest. It was early evening already, and she was getting hungry. She ate the gari driver's toffee. A while later, the driver came out again.
"You need to go home now," he said. "It'll be dark in less than an hour." "I'm used to the dark."
"It'll get cold too. Why don't you let me drive you home? I'll tell him you were here."
Mariam only looked at him.
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"Let me in the house."
"I've been instructed not to. Look, no one knows when he's coming back. It could be days." (17-18).
The quotations show that Mariam is willing to wait in front of the Jalil’s house until he comes although she is forbidden to come in the house. She was willing to withstand hunger, cold, sleepiness outside. Even she does not want to be delivered by
Jalil’s driver to go back to the kolba or stay at the hotel. Actually Jalil is at home,
Mariam only deceived by Jalil because he does not want to meet Mariam or to let her living in his house.
Mariam was a child who shows disappointment with silence and tears. Her disappointment arose because Jalil does not love her. Mariam is very ashamed of her mother. Finally she goes back to her house in kolba delivered by Jalil’s driver. She goes back home with her disappointment and regret:
She was ashamed of how she had dismissed her mother's stricken looks, her puffy eyes.
Nana, who had warned her, who had been right all along.
Mariam kept thinking of his face in the upstairs window. He let her sleep on the street.
On the street Mariam cried lying down. She didn't sit up, didn't want to be
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herself. She wished Mullah Faizullah were here so she could put her head on his lap and let him comfort her (19).
Mariam is very persistent to be able to met Jalil, but she knew that Jalil does not want her. She is very embarrassed to herself and people who see her. Mariam is very disappointed because Jalil does not receive her to come to Herat. Mariam know that Nana’s voice is true. She is very sorry for ignoring her mother.
Mariam is a child with full of remorse because she felt that Nana dies because of her. She feels guilty and desperate. A high emotion makes Mariam cries and she does not want to live again in this world:
"Oh, Mariam jo."
He sat next to her and cupped her face in his hands. "You go on and cry, Mariam jo.
Go on. There is no shame in it. But remember, my girl, what the Koran says, 'Blessed is He in Whose hand is the kingdom, and He Who has power over all things, Who created death and life that He may try you.' The Koran speaks the truth, my girl.
Behind every trial and every sorrow that He makes us shoulder, God has a reason."
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she could do was cry and cry and let her tears fall on the spotted, paper-thin skin of Mullah Faizullah's hands (20).
The quotations indicate that Mariam is no longer comfortable being beside Jalil, so she wanted Mullah Faizullah to accompany her. She cried in the arms of her teacher. She is very sad because the only person who loves her has died. Mullah Faizullah calms Mariam that all of this is only a trial from God. But Mariam cannot take it gracefully. She also cannot absorb the word of God which is spoken by her teacher. Mariam just remembered the words of her mother that she will die if Mariam is away. Nana’s word has entered Mariam’s mind. So, she always feels guilty for her actions going to Herat.
Mariam was a child who keeps her regret as long as possible. She would refuse to listen to what other people say if she is thinking about something. As the following quotations which show that Mariam is not interested to discuss about the family, she is only answering simply. Even she lies in order to end the conversation quickly:
Niloufar dropped her legs and pulled her blouse back down. "I could teach you," she said, pushing hair from her flushed brow. "So how long will you stay here?"
"I don't know."
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"She says you did. I don't care. What I mean is, I don't mind if you did say it, or if you are my sister. I don't mind." (22-23).
Mariam has no longer interested to live at Jalil’s house. Her heart had broken because she has made her mother dies. She felt regret because she never believes the words of her mother. Mariam hates Jalil, deep remorse made Mariam is not interested in discussing family with full of love. Even she was not spirited when Niloufar, one of her half brothers, asks Mariam to talk to him. She just sits in her room. She go out of the room if she want to go in the bathroom.
Mariam was a reclusive child. She will devote her heart only to the nearest person just like her teacher. Mariam is also that stubborn. She cannot accept the advice from Mullah Faizullah. Mariam regretted her actions that cause Nana’s death:
"I shouldn't have left her. I should have-"
"You stop that. These thoughts are no good, Mariam jo. You hear me, child? No good.
They will destroy you. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault. No." Mariam nodded, but as desperately as she wanted to she could not bring herself to believe Him (24).
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good. Mariam just nods her head because she cannot accept it. According to Mariam, it was difficult to believe the words of her teacher.
Mariam was a child who has high hopes for herself. She will not listen to other people if they do not agree with Mariam. She also still confidence to Jalil that he still loves her though he has ever let her feels disappointed:
"I don't want to," Mariam said. She looked at Jalil. "I don't want this. Don't make me."
She hated the sniffling, pleading tone of her voice but could not help it. "Now, be reasonable, Mariam," one of the wives said.
Mariam was no longer keeping track of who was saying what. She went on staring at Jalil, waiting for him to speak up, to say that none of this was true (26).
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He also wanted to marry Mariam to a shoes employer from Kabul. Finally, Mariam is disappointed at Jalil for the second time.
Mariam is a good woman and she always prays for her father. She also hope that Jalil will be proud of her. But in fact, he is ashamed of her. Mariam revealed all her disappointments to Jalil, she has admired her father and now she hated him. In the pastime, even Mariam has greatly missed Jalil if she does not meet, now she wanted to separate from Jalil forever:
"On Thursdays, I sat for hours waiting for you. I worried myself sick that you wouldn't show up."
"It's a long trip. You should eat something." He said he could buy her some bread and goat cheese.
"I thought about you all the time. I used to pray that you'd live to be a hundred years old. I didn't know. I didn't know that you were ashamed of me."
Jalil looked down, and, like an overgrown child, dug at something with the toe of his shoe.
"You were ashamed of me."
"I'll visit you," he muttered "I'll come to Kabul and see you. We'll-" "No. No," she said. "Don't come. I won't see you. Don't you come. I don't want to hear from you. Ever. Ever. "
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"It ends here for you and me. Say your good-byes." (30).
From the previous quotations, Mariam misses Jalil in the past. She is not patient to meet Jalil on Thursdays. She is willing to wait several hours because she is afraid if Jalil would not come because he was sick. Mariam is very worried about her father. She always prays Jalil in order to be getting healthy and have a long life. Mariam revealed her heart to Jalil when she will get in the bus to go to Kabul. Jalil felt guilty, but his decision was correct according to him. He knows that Mariam would hate him. So, he volunteers that he will visit Mariam in Kabul. But Mariam prohibited Jalil to visit her. Even she will not want to see Jalil if he insists to comes. She does not want to hear about Jalil again because she gets disappointed twice from Jalil. She also never cares for her life. Mariam wants to end her relationship with Jalil. The relation between a father and his daughter finishes. Finally Mariam goes with hatred. She goes without seeing her father even though he calls her name.
Mariam is a good girl because she would help a person who needs her help. When she is grown up and married, she lived in Kabul. She helps a girl who becomes a victim of the bomb because the war has broken out. Even she takes care of the girl, named Laila, until she is healed:
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and recycled. She held the girl's hair back, out of her face, when she had to retch (105).
The quotation shows that Mariam and her husband care for the girl victim of the bomb. Mariam shows her feeling. She treated Laila’s wounds and washed her clothes. Mariam is like a mother who is caring for her daughter. Even she always looks at the state of Laila.
3.2 Mariam’s Sacrifice
Mariam was willing if Laila will be married to her husband, Rasheed. She sacrifice for the sake of Laila in order not to let Laila dies in the middle of a war. Mariam showed her kindness. She cannot let Laila lives alone in a city with full of bombs. Therefore, she preferred to help Laila although it meant that she had to agree if Rasheed married Laila. She realized that her sacrifice will be detrimental to her marriage with Rasheed. She also awares that her husband will not be fair to her because she would share him with another woman:
He coughed and adjusted the pillow behind his back.
"The roads out there are unforgiving, Mariam, believe me. Bloodhounds and bandits at every turn. I wouldn't like her chances, not at all. But let's say that by some miracle she gets to Peshawar. What then? Do you have any idea what those camps are like?"
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"People living under scraps of cardboard. TB, dysentery, famine, crime. And that's before winter. Then it's frostbite season. Pneumonia. People turning to icicles. Those camps become frozen graveyards (112). The previous quotations indicate that Rasheed is testing the goodness of Mariam. He told Mariam the very bad condition of Laila will face out there. Initially, Mariam disagrees if Rasheed marries Laila. She will never want it. But Mariam cannot bear to see Laila is expelled from Rasheed’s house if Mariam does not let him marries Laila. Laila will live alone because her family has been the victim of a bomb blast. Laila does not have a home. She will stay in the refugee camps if she leaves Rasheed’s house. Mariam is convincedby Rasheed’s words that Laila is unsafe to live in the refugee camps. Finally, Mariam decides to help Laila. She sacrifices her marital life by letting her husband marries Laila.
Mariam does it because she actually possesses compassion to everyone. This
case can be shown through Mariam’s compassion to her two half brothers in the
previous discusses.
Mariam’s unwillingness to let Rasheed marries Laila is reasonable. She does
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However, if Rasheed does not marry Laila, she would be expelled from his house and it would endanger her if she lives in refugee camps. Mariam’s superego cannot let Laila suffers. Therefore, Mariam’s Ego provides a solution or a middle way that Mariam compromises her status as the only wife of Rasheed, and receives Laila as the second wife of her husband.
Mariam’s desire to be Rasheed’s only wife is disrupted by Laila’s existence.
Her Id is not granted and therefore creates anxiety in Mariam’s feeling. That is why at
the beginning of Laila’s being as Rasheed’s second wife, Mariam hates her and
blames her:
She didn't tell him that they'd had their first true fight.
It had happened a few days earlier. Laila had gone to the kitchen and found Mariam yanking drawers and slamming themshut. She was looking, Mariam said, for the long wooden spoon she used to stir rice.
"Where did you put it?" she said, wheeling around to face Laila. "Me?" Laila said "I didn't take it. I hardly come in here."
"I've noticed."
"Is that an accusation? It's how you wanted it, remember. You said you would make the meals. But if you want to switch-"…(120).
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hatred to Laila that has disrupted Mariam as the only Rasheed's wife. That is why Mariam blames and accuses Laila without evidence.
Then Mariam thinks that her hatred towards Laila is wrong and she begins to amaze Laila. Mariam felt pity if she sees Laila is being scolded by Rasheed. She wonders to herself because she should have felt happy to see her competitor being scolded. But the fact is she cannot. All of these happened because Mariam’s personality since she was a child which is having the compassion for others:
Mariam found it exhausting to watch the girl's lolloping enthusiasm-and had to admit, if only privately, to a degree of admiration. She marveled at how the girl's eyes shone with worship, even in the mornings when her face drooped and her complexion was waxy from a night's worth of walking the baby. The girl had fits of laughter when the baby passed gas. The tiniest changes in the baby enchanted her, and everything it did was declared spectacular (122).
The quotation shows that Mariam feels that she does not hate Laila again when Laila has a baby named Aziza. Mariam likes her baby because she was funny. Mariam also amazed that Laila is very excited when her daughter wake up early even though she has not slept last night. Even Mariam begins to pity Laila when Rasheed is
angry because Laila’s daughter is crying. So Mariam decides that she wants help
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Mariam was restless because she actually a good girl. This case can be shown through she does not want to say the words that will offend her mother in the previous discusses.
When Mariam was finally able to concern with Laila and they becomes good friends, she wants to help Laila: "I'll get you seen, Laila jo. I promise”(145). While Laila was about to deliver the baby, Mariam accompanies Laila to look for a maternity hospital. She shows sympathy to Laila. She worries about Laila and her baby. She is doing what she can help Laila like a mother who was helping her daughter. She feels that what she is doing is right because she can feels that the sacrifice of a mother for her child was very unmeasurable:
Mariam waded in. She dug in her heels and burrowed against the elbows, hips, and shoulder blades of strangers. Someone elbowed her in the ribs, and she elbowed back. A hand made a desperate grab at her face. She swatted it away. To propel herself forward, Mariam clawed at necks, at arms and elbows, at hair, and, when a woman nearby hissed, Mariam hissed back (145).
The quotation shows Mariam has a concern for Laila who would deliver the baby. The effort which Mariam can do is to help Laila because there is only one hospital which is allowed to treat women. Mariam promises that Laila gets treatment quickly. She huddles in the hospital counter, she fight through the crowd and
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get the medicine in order for Laila not to feel excessive pain when she is operated. But the doctor advises Mariam to do not look for drugstore because the place was far. So the doctor will be performing to surgery at the time because Laila will lose the
baby if they delay. After Laila’s baby born, she names her baby Zalmai. He is Laila’s
second children.
Mariam is a good woman because she would help a person who needs her help. Even she will not give up if she has not helped Laila. Mariam is very persistent, she will look for drugstore although the place is far.
The previous explanations conclude that Mariam’s intention to help Laila represents her Id because they have been friend. Mariam’s Superego affirms that her assistance to Laila is a true action because Laila will be in pain and her baby will die if Laila does not get treatment from a doctor quickly. So the Ego of Mariam worked logically. She sacrifices herself to jostle with people at the counter in order to get the fast service.
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Rasheed is hurting them. She does not want to see the person whom she loves is always being hurt by Rasheed:
And then he was on Laila, pummeling her chest, her head, her belly with fists, tearing at her hair, throwing her to the wall. Aziza was shrieking, pulling at his shirt; Zalmai was screaming too, trying to get him off his mother. Rasheed shoved the children aside, pushed Laila to the ground, and began kicking her. Mariam threw herself on Laila. He went on kicking, kicking Mariam now, spittle flying from his mouth, his eyes glittering with murderous intent, kicking until he couldn't anymore (154). The quotation shows that Rasheed is very angry with Laila because she always denies what Rasheed tells her. Mariam has told Laila to be careful when talking to Rasheed because Mariam does not want to see Laila was beaten by Rasheed. Becuase Rasheed has a temper, so Mariam sees Rasheed beats Laila Suddenly, while Aziza and Zalmai also get a blow because they screams and pulls
their father’s clothes. When Mariam sees the incident, she runs to protect them in
order they do not get the punch anymore. Because Rasheed has not stopped, he starts spat and kick Mariam because she is protecting them. Finally, Rasheed has ended the commotion because he is tired.
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The previous explanation shows that Mariam’s Id also wants to protect the people she loves from Rasheed’s blow. Her Superego explained that Laila, Aziza, and Zalmai would be sick if they are beaten by Rasheed. So the Ego gives the way to Mariam to stop the action of Rasheed. She was willing to be snapped and to be spited by Rasheed to protect Laila, Aziza, and Zalmai.
Mariam’s concern to Laila is also shown when Laila has quarrels with Rasheed. Mariam is trying to stop Rasheed in order not to let him to hits Laila because Mariam already regards Laila as her own sister:
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regretful because she hurts her husband; she hopes that Rasheed realized his mistake, but Rasheed is angrier. Before Rasheed hits Mariam, Laila lashes his head, so they fight again.
The previous explanation indicates that Mariam’s Id wanted to stop the fight between her husband and Laila because she does not want to see Laila is being hurt by Rasheed. Mariam’s Superego considered if she let the fight, Laila would get a blow so much more, and Laila’s body will be full of injuries and bloods. The Ego shows if Mariam must jump in the middle of the fight in order to stop Rasheed continues his actions.
Mariam had shown many sacrifices for Laila. Even Mariam is willing to hit her husband with a shovel because it is the last way for her to stop Rasheed and to make Laila breathes again:
In the toolshed, Mariam grabbed the shovel.
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Mariam steadied her feet and tightened her grip around the shovel's handle. She raised it. She said his name. She wanted him to see. "Rasheed."
He looked up. Mariam swung.
She hit him across the temple. The blow knocked him off Laila (179). Mariam returns to protect Laila when Rasheed really wants to kill Laila. Rasheed wraps around Laila’s neck because she has dared to fight and beat him. Even Mariam cannot stop Rasheed because he was very angry. Finally Mariam takes the shovel to be directed to Rasheed until he falls because Mariam realizes that Laila would die if Mariam does not help her. She does not want Laila dies. Laila’s children will be sad if their mother dies. She hopes that Rasheed realizes his mistake.
That explanation shows that Mariam does not want Rasheed kills Laila is reflects Mariam’s Id. She does not want to see her husband’s abusement to his wives again. Her Superego judges that Mariam should help Laila so that Laila does not die
because she is strangled by Rasheed. Finally Mariam’s Ego prevents it from
happening in way Mariam takes the shovel to hit Rasheed’s head.
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still has small children. She also does not want to see Laila’s children suffer because their mother dies. Finally Mariam kills Rasheed to help Laila:
But then his upper lip curled back into a spiteful sneer, and Mariam knew then the futility, maybe even the irresponsibility, of not finishing this. If she let him walk now, how long before he fetched the key from his pocket and went for that gun of his upstairs in the room where he'd locked
Zalmai? Had Mariam been certain that he would be satisfied with shooting only her, that there was a chance he would spare Laila, she might have dropped the shovel. But in Rasheed's eyes she saw murder for them both. And so Mariam raised the shovel high, raised it as high as she could, arching it so it touched the small of her back. She turned it so the sharp edge was vertical, and, as she did. (180).
Mariam knows that Rasheed was very angry at her, Rasheed’s eyes shows if he have the chance, he will kill Laila and Mariam with his gun. Because there is nothing that can be expected from Rasheed, Mariam kills him with a shovel. She realized that what she does the best choice. She does not want to see the person she loves will suffer. Finally Mariam raises her shovel as high as possible, and then she swings the shovel into Rasheed's body with a vengeance. Mariam feels that this was the first time for her to determine her life.
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will not let her anxiety stays for a long time, she must decides to kill Rasheed and sacrifice for Laila.
The explanation shows that the Id of Mariam does not want Rasheed to have a chance to kill them. Superego is stating that Rasheed will take a gun in the room to
kill his wives and Laila’s children will suffer because their mother dies. The Ego
directs Mariam to kill Rasheed with the awareness that it is the best way.
Then Mariam surrenders herself to get imprisoned for the sake of Laila and
Laila’s children. She ordered Laila to picked Aziza in the boarding school and then
went to the house of Tariq. She does not want to go with Laila to Tariq’s home because it will endanger them. Even at a time like this Mariam still worries about them. She does not want the bad thing will happen to them. She also tries to make Laila feels calm and to receive this situation. Mariam understands the law; the court will condemn to death to those who kill. Mariam says that she is happy because Laila
and Laila’s children had given her something that she has dreamed since childhood:
"For me, it ends here. There's nothing more I want. Everything I'd ever wished for as a little girl you've already given me. You and your children have made me so very happy. It's all right, Laila jo. This is all right. Don't be sad." (185 indo 541)
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truth on the trial, she confirms all the charges, she regretted and admitted that what she does is wrong. But she regrets because she will no longer be able to meet with the people she loves:
Mariam wished for so much in those final moments. Yet as she closed her eyes, it was not regret any longer but a sensation of abundant peace that washed over her. She thought of her entry into this world, the harami child of a lowly villager, an unintended thing, a pitiable, regrettable accident. A weed. And yet she was leaving the world as a woman who had loved and been loved back. She was leaving it as a friend, a companion, a guardian. A mother. A person of consequence at last. No. It was not so bad, Mariam thought, that she should die this way. Not so bad. This was a legitimate end to a life of illegitimate beginnings.
Mariam's final thoughts were a few words from the Koran, which she muttered under her breath.
He has created the heavens and the earth with the truth; He makes the
night cover the day and makes the day overtake the night, and He has
made the sun and the moon subservient; each one runs on to an assigned
term; now surely He is the Mighty, the Great Forgiver.
"Kneel," the Talib said
O my Lord! Forgive and have mercy, for you are the best of the merciful
C H A M D A N I | 53
From the previous quotations, Mariam’s life suffers almost completely. Her dream to get the love never exists. Her dream comes true from the people who are not suspected by her; they are Laila, Aziza, and Zalmai. She feels that God is fair. She feels the suffering at the beginning of her life and finds the happiness at the end of her life. She is not regret to be living in the world as an illegitimate child because it is not bad. She does not regret that she will die by the way of execution. She believes that God decides the human’s destiny. Finally, she prays to the Lord in order to get a forgiveness.
Mariam has high hopes for becomes person which always get love in her life because she never gets it before. So she is willing to sacrifice herself to gets
happiness. the happiness comes from the way of giving and sacrificing.
The previous explanation indicates that Mariam wants to get happiness by moving to Thariq’s home. That desire reflects her Id. But her Superego considered that Mariam cannot go to Thariq’s house with Laila because it will endanger them. She realizes that the court will seek the killer anytime and anywhere. So the Ego suggests that Mariam must surrender herself to the court because she has killed her
husband. It is the best way according to Mariam’s sacrifice in order to Thariq,
