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A STUDY OF SWEAR WORDS IN AMERICAN PIE NAKED MILE MOVIE - Unika Repository

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(1)

1

00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,351

Oh, honey, you don't look so good.

2

00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:19,853

You should stay home from brunch.

3

00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:21,646

- Are you sure?

- Mmm.

4

00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:23,065

I really want to go.

5

00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:25,108

You stay and rest.

6

00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,778

You can see Grandma when we get back.

7

00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,026

Thank you, Videobarn dumpster.

8

00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,680

<i>Wanna fuck me, baby?</i>

9

00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:39,223

Oh, yes. Yeah.

10

00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:40,975

<i>You wanna fuck me?</i>

11

00:01:45,771 --> 00:01:48,983

Hey, Erik. Do you know if your dad

still has my clippers?

12

00:01:49,066 --> 00:01:51,903

I have no idea, Mr. Williams.

13

00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:54,822

All right. Go back to what you were doing.

14

00:01:58,659 --> 00:02:00,661

<i>You wanna fuck me, baby?</i>

15

00:02:05,499 --> 00:02:06,584

<i>Yeah.</i>

16

00:02:17,553 --> 00:02:19,805

<i>Yeah. Fuck me, baby.</i>

17

00:02:20,222 --> 00:02:21,599

Yes, please.

18

00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:25,478

<i>Oh, do me, baby.</i>

19

00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:26,645

<i>Honey.</i>

20

00:02:26,770 --> 00:02:28,606

<i>Yeah, just like that.</i>

21

(2)

<i>Oh, yeah! So good, so good, baby.</i>

22

00:02:32,151 --> 00:02:33,569

<i>Oh, yeah!</i>

23

00:02:35,821 --> 00:02:37,364

I told you I was paying.

24

00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:40,159

So what's the difference

if you forgot the coupon?

25

00:02:40,242 --> 00:02:41,827

Honey, she doesn't like to waste money.

26

00:02:41,910 --> 00:02:44,038

There's no way I'm letting you pay full price

27

00:02:44,121 --> 00:02:47,791

when there's a two-for-one coupon

sitting on the counter.

28

00:02:47,875 --> 00:02:49,001

I'll be right out.

29

00:02:49,084 --> 00:02:51,211

I'm coming, too. Now I gotta pee.

30

00:02:51,295 --> 00:02:52,379

I'll check on Erik.

31

00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:53,547

Oh, yeah.

32

00:02:53,630 --> 00:02:55,382

<i>Oh. Oh, that's good.</i>

33

00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:57,759

<i>- You like that? I like that, too.

- Oh, yeah!</i>

34

00:02:58,969 --> 00:03:00,053

Here we go.

35

00:03:00,137 --> 00:03:01,180

Okay, Mom.

36

00:03:01,263 --> 00:03:03,098

<i>- Harder.

- Harder? Okay.</i>

37

00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:04,308

<i>Oh, yeah! So good.</i>

38

00:03:04,391 --> 00:03:06,185

<i>- Like this?

- Yeah, right there, babe.</i>

39

00:03:06,268 --> 00:03:07,561

<i>- Like this? Like this?

- Yeah.</i>

40

00:03:07,644 --> 00:03:09,187

<i>Baby, do me just like that.</i>

(3)

00:03:10,564 --> 00:03:11,648

Okay, attagirl.

42

00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:14,901

<i>- From behind?

- Oh, yeah, baby! Harder!</i>

43

00:03:14,985 --> 00:03:16,361

- Okay.

- All right.

44

00:03:16,987 --> 00:03:18,780

<i>- You wanna cum for me, baby?

- Oh, yeah.</i>

45

00:03:18,864 --> 00:03:20,866

<i>- Yeah? Cum for me, baby.

- I'm so close. I will.</i>

46

00:03:20,949 --> 00:03:22,034

We're almost there.

47

00:03:22,117 --> 00:03:23,201

<i>You're gonna cum for me?</i>

48

00:03:23,285 --> 00:03:24,453

I'm about to. I'm about to.

49

00:03:24,536 --> 00:03:26,038

<i>That's it, baby.</i>

50

00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,427

Grandma. Grandma.

51

00:03:42,304 --> 00:03:43,847

Grandma.

52

00:03:46,266 --> 00:03:48,435

<i>And that's the day

my grandmother died.</i>

53

00:03:48,518 --> 00:03:51,771

<i>And it's pretty much the story of my life.

But let me back things up a little bit.</i>

54

00:03:59,112 --> 00:04:02,157

<i>That's me. Not exactly the life of the party.</i>

55

00:04:05,326 --> 00:04:07,036

<i>That's my buddy, Mike Coozeman.</i>

56

00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:10,748

<i>Everybody calls him Cooze

'cause that's all he's ever interested in.</i>

57

00:04:10,832 --> 00:04:14,294

<i>Cooze is a self-proclaimed ladies' man

and a legend in his own mind.</i>

58

00:04:14,377 --> 00:04:15,712

<i>Sometimes his methods are...</i>

59

00:04:17,255 --> 00:04:18,715

<i>questionable.</i>

60

(4)

Very smooth.

61

00:04:22,468 --> 00:04:24,679

Oh, please. I consider that foreplay.

62

00:04:24,762 --> 00:04:25,847

Where's Ryan?

63

00:04:25,930 --> 00:04:26,973

I don't know.

64

00:04:27,056 --> 00:04:31,686

Last time I saw him,

he was dancing with Stacey and Shelly.

65

00:04:33,271 --> 00:04:35,898

<i>That's my best friend, Ryan Grimm.</i>

66

00:04:36,774 --> 00:04:38,943

<i>I don't know how he does it.</i>

67

00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:44,323

See, I told you there was enough

for both of you.

68

00:04:44,407 --> 00:04:45,658

<i>He moved here in second grade.</i>

69

00:04:45,742 --> 00:04:49,537

<i>Believe it or not, back then,

I was the one showing him the ropes.</i>

70

00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:51,330

<i>Now he's the quarterback

of the football team,</i>

71

00:04:51,414 --> 00:04:53,666

<i>and the coolest guy in school.</i>

72

00:04:53,749 --> 00:04:56,919

Hey, I brought you a vodka and ginger ale

so it won't upset your stomach.

73

00:04:57,003 --> 00:04:59,297

Oh, thanks.

74

00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:02,341

<i>That's my girlfriend, Tracy.</i>

75

00:05:03,009 --> 00:05:04,594

<i>We met in Biology, junior year.</i>

76

00:05:04,677 --> 00:05:07,638

Now make the first

incision into your frogs.

77

00:05:08,389 --> 00:05:12,018

Cut along the ventral side from the pelvic

to the pectoral girdle.

78

00:05:13,728 --> 00:05:14,812

Oh!

79

(5)

<i>I don't know what she saw in me,</i>

80

00:05:18,190 --> 00:05:22,403

<i>but when I finally got up the nerve

to ask her out, she said yes.</i>

81

00:05:23,988 --> 00:05:27,074

<i>And for some reason,

she kept going out with me.</i>

82

00:05:28,367 --> 00:05:30,619

<i>It's like she totally gets me.</i>

83

00:05:32,496 --> 00:05:34,665

<i>And I try my best to get her.</i>

84

00:05:41,171 --> 00:05:43,757

Come on. Take the low one. It's easy.

85

00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:48,012

Screw it.

86

00:05:53,934 --> 00:05:55,018

Oh!

87

00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:00,190

Are you all right?

88

00:06:00,899 --> 00:06:04,194

I don't know.

Is it possible to break your ass?

89

00:06:04,445 --> 00:06:07,906

Okay, I promise I'll never make you

ride a horse again.

90

00:06:08,907 --> 00:06:12,911

<i>Looks like she's perfect, right?

There's just one problem.</i>

91

00:06:15,330 --> 00:06:19,835

<i>Tracy's not ready to have sex yet,

so that makes me a virgin.</i>

92

00:06:20,711 --> 00:06:23,964

<i>Now, being one of the only virgins in school

is bad enough,</i>

93

00:06:24,464 --> 00:06:26,591

<i>but it's even worse for me.</i>

94

00:06:28,635 --> 00:06:29,803

<i>Yup.</i>

95

00:06:30,095 --> 00:06:31,221

<i>I'm a Stifler.</i>

96

00:06:31,972 --> 00:06:34,474

<i>My cousins are the legendary Stifler boys.</i>

97

00:06:34,558 --> 00:06:39,271

<i>Steve, his brother, Matt,

(6)

98

00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:42,774

<i>You see, with my last name

comes responsibility,</i>

99

00:06:42,858 --> 00:06:45,569

<i>a reputation that I'm supposed to live up to.</i>

100

00:06:45,735 --> 00:06:49,364

<i>Unfortunately, I've let down the family name

on more than one occasion.</i>

101

00:06:49,447 --> 00:06:50,740

What's your problem, Erik?

102

00:06:50,824 --> 00:06:53,785

Your cousin would've helped me

steal this beer.

103

00:06:53,868 --> 00:06:57,497

Dude, a real Stifler

would have totally fucked that goat.

104

00:06:57,581 --> 00:07:01,501

If you were really a Stifler,

you would have nailed Tracy by now.

105

00:07:02,127 --> 00:07:03,378

<i>Stifler.</i>

106

00:07:04,129 --> 00:07:07,924

<i>My name, my legacy, my curse.</i>

107

00:07:12,220 --> 00:07:15,223

I can't believe you killed your grandmother

from jerking off.

108

00:07:15,306 --> 00:07:16,975

The coroner's findings were inconclusive.

109

00:07:17,058 --> 00:07:19,811

Why are you still whacking it

to that dumpster porn?

110

00:07:19,894 --> 00:07:22,897

Yeah, why don't you just go on the Internet

like a normal person?

111

00:07:22,981 --> 00:07:24,858

Well, because my mom

put on that CyberNanny

112

00:07:24,941 --> 00:07:27,902

after you spent the entire night looking up

German fetish porn.

113

00:07:27,986 --> 00:07:30,238

Man, you are pathetic.

114

00:07:30,572 --> 00:07:33,241

You know who I blame for this? Tracy.

115

00:07:33,324 --> 00:07:34,826

What? Why?

116

(7)

Because, if she would just give up

a little ass,

117

00:07:37,537 --> 00:07:41,833

then maybe you wouldn't be killing

your relatives with your money shot.

118

00:07:43,835 --> 00:07:48,798

Erik, you cannot graduate a virgin.

For Christ's sake, you're a Stifler.

119

00:07:56,430 --> 00:07:58,599

Hey, sweetie. How was your math class?

120

00:07:58,683 --> 00:08:01,102

It was all right. How was English?

121

00:08:01,185 --> 00:08:03,229

Pretty interesting, actually.

122

00:08:03,312 --> 00:08:04,897

You know that kid

that I always tell you about?

123

00:08:04,981 --> 00:08:08,150

- He was doing that pencil thing all...

- That's cool.

124

00:08:09,610 --> 00:08:10,820

You okay?

125

00:08:10,903 --> 00:08:12,363

Yeah, I'm fine.

126

00:08:13,990 --> 00:08:18,202

Erik, we've been dating for two years.

I know when something's bothering you.

127

00:08:18,285 --> 00:08:19,578

Nothing's wrong.

128

00:08:19,662 --> 00:08:22,415

I don't know why you think

you have this psychic ability to read me.

129

00:08:22,498 --> 00:08:24,875

Because I do. What is it?

130

00:08:25,835 --> 00:08:29,004

You're gonna think I'm an asshole.

Let's just forget about it.

131

00:08:29,088 --> 00:08:32,758

Come on, Erik, you know you can talk to me

about anything.

132

00:08:34,301 --> 00:08:35,719

All right.

133

00:08:40,891 --> 00:08:42,476

It's the sex.

134

00:08:43,727 --> 00:08:44,812

I mean,

(8)

00:08:44,895 --> 00:08:48,107

we've been together for two years.

Two years, Trace.

136

00:08:48,190 --> 00:08:50,567

I mean, when we were juniors,

it was one thing,

137

00:08:50,651 --> 00:08:52,319

but we're seniors now,

and this whole virgin thing

138

00:08:52,403 --> 00:08:54,905

is starting to have

some serious consequences.

139

00:08:54,989 --> 00:08:56,991

I mean, people are dying.

140

00:08:58,242 --> 00:08:59,952

I told you, I'm not ready yet.

141

00:09:00,035 --> 00:09:02,079

I am so ready.

142

00:09:02,413 --> 00:09:04,706

Can't I be ready enough for the both of us?

143

00:09:04,790 --> 00:09:06,708

It doesn't work that way.

144

00:09:06,792 --> 00:09:08,377

It should.

145

00:09:08,919 --> 00:09:11,421

I'm sorry, Erik.

I know how patient you've been.

146

00:09:11,505 --> 00:09:13,841

I know. It's just sometimes...

147

00:09:14,341 --> 00:09:15,384

What?

148

00:09:15,676 --> 00:09:19,555

Well, you're a girl.

It's a lot easier for you to be a virgin

149

00:09:19,638 --> 00:09:22,558

because the longer you stay a virgin,

the more pure and innocent you seem.

150

00:09:22,641 --> 00:09:24,017

The longer I stay a virgin,

151

00:09:24,101 --> 00:09:27,688

the more I become the laughingstock

of the entire school.

152

00:09:29,189 --> 00:09:31,066

I'm sorry, but... I mean...

153

00:09:31,149 --> 00:09:32,985

I'm sorry I brought it up.

154

00:09:34,861 --> 00:09:37,239

(9)

155

00:09:39,408 --> 00:09:40,492

Okay.

156

00:09:42,828 --> 00:09:43,870

Bye.

157

00:09:49,876 --> 00:09:52,963

I'm telling you, his dick was this big.

158

00:09:54,673 --> 00:09:57,092

What about Erik?

I bet he's got a big one.

159

00:09:57,175 --> 00:09:59,135

Well, Tracy wouldn't know.

160

00:09:59,219 --> 00:10:00,262

Whatever.

161

00:10:01,304 --> 00:10:04,057

Yeah, I guess it's pretty hard

to figure out dick size from dry humping.

162

00:10:04,140 --> 00:10:05,475

Brooke, that's mean.

163

00:10:05,558 --> 00:10:08,603

Just because I don't have a catalog

of the school's dick sizes like you,

164

00:10:08,687 --> 00:10:10,730

doesn't mean I don't know a thing or two.

165

00:10:10,814 --> 00:10:13,733

Okay, so how big is Erik's?

166

00:10:16,444 --> 00:10:17,529

See? Told you.

167

00:10:17,612 --> 00:10:18,988

Come on, Brooke.

168

00:10:19,072 --> 00:10:20,573

It's not like that with us.

169

00:10:20,657 --> 00:10:22,951

I mean, Erik's different.

He respects my boundaries.

170

00:10:23,034 --> 00:10:25,078

Well, you better give that boy

a reason to stick around,

171

00:10:25,161 --> 00:10:27,789

or he's gonna find a girl

with looser boundaries.

172

00:10:28,206 --> 00:10:29,374

Erik would never do that.

173

00:10:29,457 --> 00:10:31,084

Yeah, that's what you said about Trent.

174

00:10:31,167 --> 00:10:34,671

(10)

and that was sophomore year.

175

00:10:34,754 --> 00:10:37,757

Yeah, this just isn't gonna

work without the sex.

176

00:10:38,424 --> 00:10:42,345

God, Trent is cute,

and I heard he just broke up with Holly.

177

00:10:43,262 --> 00:10:47,392

Look, Tracy, we love you, and we love Erik,

but let's get real.

178

00:10:47,850 --> 00:10:50,353

He's a guy, and guys have certain needs.

179

00:10:50,436 --> 00:10:54,273

They really do.

It's like a caveman thing or something.

180

00:10:54,357 --> 00:10:57,902

Yeah, I can't believe

you've kept him tied up this long.

181

00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:00,988

Hey, Erik, guess who I just talked to?

182

00:11:01,072 --> 00:11:02,156

Who?

183

00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:04,283

Your cousin Stifler up at Michigan.

184

00:11:04,367 --> 00:11:05,785

Why are you talking to my cousin Dwight?

185

00:11:05,868 --> 00:11:07,954

Oh, we talk all the time.

186

00:11:08,037 --> 00:11:09,413

What? We have a lot in common.

187

00:11:09,497 --> 00:11:11,332

What's that crazy bastard up to?

188

00:11:11,415 --> 00:11:15,169

He's in some fraternity,

and all those guys do is drink and fuck.

189

00:11:15,253 --> 00:11:18,005

And it just so happens that they're throwing

a monster party this weekend

190

00:11:18,089 --> 00:11:19,173

for the Naked Mile.

191

00:11:19,256 --> 00:11:20,383

What's the Naked Mile?

192

00:11:20,466 --> 00:11:22,259

Oh, dude, it's this thing

where thousands of students

193

(11)

run naked through campus.

194

00:11:23,803 --> 00:11:26,013

It's the way of blowing off

steam after exams.

195

00:11:26,097 --> 00:11:27,890

Thousands of naked chicks?

196

00:11:27,973 --> 00:11:30,976

Stifler says that this party is gonna be epic.

197

00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:33,229

Bottom line is, this place is played out.

198

00:11:33,312 --> 00:11:34,647

High school's over for us.

199

00:11:34,730 --> 00:11:36,690

It's time to plant our flag in a new land.

200

00:11:37,108 --> 00:11:40,653

Porn, cumshot, dead grandmother,

grounded forever?

201

00:11:40,736 --> 00:11:41,821

Don't worry.

202

00:11:41,904 --> 00:11:45,199

Just tell your parents that, you know,

you're thinking about going to school there.

203

00:11:45,282 --> 00:11:47,201

- I don't know, man.

- Oh, please.

204

00:11:47,284 --> 00:11:49,912

Your mom cried when you told her

you were going to school in Boston.

205

00:11:49,995 --> 00:11:52,706

She'll probably help you pack

if she thinks it'll keep you close to home.

206

00:11:52,790 --> 00:11:54,041

I'll help you pack.

207

00:11:54,541 --> 00:11:55,793

I'll make sandwiches.

208

00:11:55,918 --> 00:11:57,002

Chicken salad?

209

00:11:57,086 --> 00:11:58,170

Of course.

210

00:11:58,253 --> 00:12:00,255

Are you gonna get a chance

to see your cousin?

211

00:12:00,339 --> 00:12:03,217

Yeah. We might stop by and say hello.

212

00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:06,178

Now, there's someone you

(12)

213

00:12:06,261 --> 00:12:08,639

I bet he doesn't have time

to blow his load on his family.

214

00:12:08,722 --> 00:12:10,474

- Harry, please.

I don't understand.

215

00:12:10,557 --> 00:12:13,769

When I was your age,

I was up to my neck in poontang.

216

00:12:14,103 --> 00:12:16,313

I didn't have time to spank my monkey.

217

00:12:16,396 --> 00:12:19,775

Thank you for that very

disturbing image, Dad.

218

00:12:19,858 --> 00:12:23,737

I mean, Stiflers do not fake

being sick to stay home and pull dick.

219

00:12:23,820 --> 00:12:24,947

We cut class to get ass.

220

00:12:25,030 --> 00:12:27,407

Yes, I know.

That saying is on our family crest.

221

00:12:27,491 --> 00:12:29,368

Oh, don't let me forget

to pack the Imodium AD.

222

00:12:29,451 --> 00:12:30,786

You know, just in case you get diarrhea.

223

00:12:30,869 --> 00:12:32,788

- Mom.

- I am so excited.

224

00:12:32,871 --> 00:12:33,914

Aren't you excited, Harry?

225

00:12:33,997 --> 00:12:35,707

I'm very excited.

226

00:12:36,667 --> 00:12:38,335

Don't you get excited.

227

00:12:38,418 --> 00:12:39,795

<i>It worked

just like you said.</i>

228

00:12:39,878 --> 00:12:42,839

She's helping me pack,

and she's even making us sandwiches.

229

00:12:42,923 --> 00:12:44,383

<i>- Chicken salad?

- Yup.</i>

230

00:12:44,466 --> 00:12:45,592

Sweet.

231

00:12:45,675 --> 00:12:47,427

(13)

232

00:12:47,719 --> 00:12:51,223

<i>Man, this weekend is gonna be tits.

I can't wait to see Stifler.</i>

233

00:12:51,932 --> 00:12:54,684

Hey, how come you never call me Stifler?

234

00:12:55,101 --> 00:12:56,686

You're more of an Erik.

235

00:12:58,021 --> 00:12:59,272

Hold on.

236

00:12:59,981 --> 00:13:01,441

That's Tracy. I'd better take it.

237

00:13:01,525 --> 00:13:02,609

All right, later.

238

00:13:05,612 --> 00:13:08,031

Hey, sweetie.

Listen, about today, I'm really...

239

00:13:08,114 --> 00:13:10,241

Erik, I wanna have sex.

240

00:13:11,159 --> 00:13:12,243

Excuse me?

241

00:13:12,744 --> 00:13:14,996

<i>I wanna have sex.</i>

242

00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,206

Are you serious?

243

00:13:16,289 --> 00:13:17,624

Absolutely.

244

00:13:18,375 --> 00:13:21,336

Do you have me on a conference call?

Because if you do, that is so not cool.

245

00:13:21,419 --> 00:13:23,088

Erik, this isn't a joke.

246

00:13:23,713 --> 00:13:25,965

I want to have sex.

247

00:13:27,509 --> 00:13:30,094

Yes! Yes, yes.

248

00:13:30,637 --> 00:13:31,721

<i>Tonight.</i>

249

00:13:31,805 --> 00:13:32,889

What?

250

00:13:32,972 --> 00:13:35,391

Tonight. I wanna have sex tonight.

251

00:13:35,975 --> 00:13:37,477

How am I supposed to get out of my house?

252

00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:38,978

(14)

253

00:13:39,103 --> 00:13:42,857

But at midnight, I'll be in my basement

254

00:13:42,941 --> 00:13:44,567

waiting to be ravished.

255

00:13:45,026 --> 00:13:46,277

I'll be there.

256

00:14:08,508 --> 00:14:09,842

Hypocrite.

257

00:14:11,886 --> 00:14:14,680

So you get the beer and the weed,

and I'll handle the nitrous.

258

00:14:14,764 --> 00:14:16,641

You got it. What's Erik bringing?

259

00:14:16,724 --> 00:14:17,892

Sandwiches.

260

00:14:17,975 --> 00:14:21,604

Nice. Chicken salad and college pussy.

261

00:14:21,687 --> 00:14:23,314

My favorite combination.

262

00:14:23,397 --> 00:14:25,191

Yeah, well, at least you'll get to taste

the chicken salad.

263

00:14:25,274 --> 00:14:26,442

<i>Ow.</i>

264

00:14:26,525 --> 00:14:28,361

Hey, what do you think Erik's doing

right now?

265

00:14:28,444 --> 00:14:30,655

Probably beating off to dumpster porn.

266

00:14:31,364 --> 00:14:34,909

No more beating off to dumpster porn.

No more virgin jokes.

267

00:14:34,992 --> 00:14:37,328

Tonight, Erik Stifler becomes a man.

268

00:15:14,490 --> 00:15:16,241

- Hi.

- Come on in.

269

00:15:24,458 --> 00:15:25,709

- All right, listen.

- No.

270

00:15:26,543 --> 00:15:27,961

No talking.

271

00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:55,405

Wait.

272

00:15:55,489 --> 00:15:56,573

(15)

273

00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:58,074

Did you hear something?

274

00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:01,828

No. Don't worry, my parents are passed out.

275

00:16:04,206 --> 00:16:07,083

Are you sure?

You know how my stomach gets.

276

00:16:07,876 --> 00:16:10,462

Here, I'll help you relax.

277

00:16:25,101 --> 00:16:27,312

You brought something, right?

278

00:16:29,439 --> 00:16:31,649

Oh, shit. I left it at home.

279

00:16:33,318 --> 00:16:35,361

I can run back and get it.

I'll be back in like five...

280

00:16:35,445 --> 00:16:37,989

No, no, don't worry. I've got one.

281

00:16:41,784 --> 00:16:44,204

Do you wanna put it on or should I?

282

00:16:44,454 --> 00:16:46,247

Let's put it on together.

283

00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:05,475

Are you ready?

284

00:17:06,309 --> 00:17:07,351

Yeah.

285

00:17:09,061 --> 00:17:12,565

Shit. Someone's coming.

Quick, get behind the bar. Now!

286

00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:26,621

Honey, what are you still doing up?

287

00:17:27,705 --> 00:17:28,831

Yoga.

288

00:17:29,332 --> 00:17:30,583

I ate too much at dinner.

289

00:17:30,666 --> 00:17:32,126

Why don't you take an Alka-Seltzer?

290

00:17:32,209 --> 00:17:33,961

Alka-Seltzer is for babies.

291

00:17:34,045 --> 00:17:35,504

I just need a nightcap.

292

00:17:38,841 --> 00:17:40,176

Excuse me.

293

00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:42,470

(16)

294

00:17:42,553 --> 00:17:44,680

Daddy. Here, let me get you your drink.

295

00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:46,891

No, that's okay, honey.

You go back to your yoga.

296

00:17:46,974 --> 00:17:48,601

No, Daddy, I really want to.

297

00:17:48,684 --> 00:17:51,770

Sweetie, I'm a grown man.

I can make my own drink.

298

00:18:06,785 --> 00:18:08,370

What was that?

299

00:18:09,246 --> 00:18:10,331

What was what?

300

00:18:10,414 --> 00:18:11,623

I didn't hear anything.

301

00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:15,419

There was a noise

coming from the laundry room.

302

00:18:45,115 --> 00:18:46,408

I must be hearing things.

303

00:18:46,491 --> 00:18:49,786

See, Daddy? I told you.

Now, come make your drink.

304

00:18:53,081 --> 00:18:54,166

What the...

305

00:19:10,432 --> 00:19:12,100

You all right, baby?

306

00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:13,685

I'm fine, Daddy.

307

00:19:27,324 --> 00:19:30,618

Oh, that sick bastard took

a shit in our dryer.

308

00:19:32,245 --> 00:19:33,955

I'm calling the police.

309

00:19:49,470 --> 00:19:51,723

Ryan? Ryan?

310

00:19:51,806 --> 00:19:53,850

Ryan, get up man. Ryan!

311

00:19:53,933 --> 00:19:55,476

What the fuck?

312

00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:57,186

It's me. It's Erik.

313

00:19:57,270 --> 00:20:00,148

Dude, why are you naked in my room?

314

00:20:01,774 --> 00:20:03,943

(17)

315

00:20:04,027 --> 00:20:06,112

Oh, yeah. Sorry about that.

316

00:20:07,030 --> 00:20:09,991

Look, I'm in serious trouble, okay?

I need your help.

317

00:20:11,951 --> 00:20:13,661

What's that smell?

318

00:20:14,078 --> 00:20:16,080

Did you step in dog shit?

319

00:20:16,747 --> 00:20:18,040

Yeah.

320

00:20:18,916 --> 00:20:22,086

Hey, man, thanks for the clothes.

I'll get them back to you.

321

00:20:22,170 --> 00:20:25,006

No, thanks. Why don't you just burn them?

322

00:20:26,841 --> 00:20:29,302

Wonder if I get a reward for turning you in.

323

00:20:29,552 --> 00:20:31,679

<i>If the alleged

improprieties are confirmed,</i>

324

00:20:31,762 --> 00:20:34,056

<i>it could be devastating for the White House.</i>

325

00:20:34,140 --> 00:20:35,891

<i>Sources near the

administration would neither</i>

326

00:20:35,975 --> 00:20:38,227

<i>confirm nor deny the allegations.</i>

327

00:20:38,311 --> 00:20:41,981

<i>And in local news, a masked burglar broke

into an area residence,</i>

328

00:20:42,064 --> 00:20:46,360

<i>defecated in the family dryer,

and then exposed himself to a teenage girl.</i>

329

00:20:46,444 --> 00:20:47,945

<i>Police are continuing the search,</i>

330

00:20:48,028 --> 00:20:50,906

<i>but the whereabouts and

identity of the perpetrator are unknown.</i>

331

00:20:50,990 --> 00:20:52,616

What is wrong with these people?

332

00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:54,285

<i>And now, Dakota Snow

with the weekend forecast.</i>

(18)

00:20:54,368 --> 00:20:55,453

I don't know.

334

00:21:04,003 --> 00:21:05,129

You scared me.

335

00:21:05,212 --> 00:21:06,463

Sorry.

336

00:21:06,922 --> 00:21:08,048

Listen, about last night...

337

00:21:08,132 --> 00:21:11,719

Yeah, you know,

I'd just really rather not talk about it.

338

00:21:11,927 --> 00:21:14,013

I really think that we should.

339

00:21:14,847 --> 00:21:17,850

Erik, you took a crap in my dryer.

340

00:21:17,975 --> 00:21:20,477

Your dad scared the shit out of me.

341

00:21:21,103 --> 00:21:22,396

- Wait.

- You know, let's just...

342

00:21:22,479 --> 00:21:24,565

Let's forget about it, okay?

343

00:21:26,775 --> 00:21:29,361

Okay, but what about the other thing?

344

00:21:32,322 --> 00:21:33,615

The sex?

345

00:21:34,450 --> 00:21:36,952

I'm taking last night as a sign from above.

346

00:21:37,077 --> 00:21:38,912

But maybe...

I mean, if your dad didn't come down...

347

00:21:38,996 --> 00:21:41,999

Erik, I love you. I'm just...

348

00:21:42,499 --> 00:21:44,084

I'm not ready yet.

349

00:21:44,668 --> 00:21:45,877

Really?

350

00:21:47,421 --> 00:21:48,630

Really.

351

00:21:48,839 --> 00:21:52,175

But I also realized just how ready you are.

352

00:21:53,093 --> 00:21:55,220

I don't wanna break up over sex.

353

00:21:55,304 --> 00:21:57,139

(19)

354

00:21:58,098 --> 00:22:02,519

I'm not ready. You are.

It's selfish for me to keep you tied down.

355

00:22:04,354 --> 00:22:06,857

So, this is what I'm proposing.

356

00:22:08,150 --> 00:22:10,444

A guilt-free pass for this weekend.

357

00:22:10,527 --> 00:22:13,697

That means you can do

whatever you want up there

358

00:22:13,989 --> 00:22:16,116

with no consequences.

359

00:22:17,909 --> 00:22:19,661

You're sure about this?

360

00:22:19,911 --> 00:22:23,498

I don't think love and sex

have to be tied to each other,

361

00:22:24,457 --> 00:22:26,418

so I'm okay with this.

362

00:22:26,835 --> 00:22:30,046

One weekend. Get it out of your system,

363

00:22:31,423 --> 00:22:33,216

and come back to me.

364

00:22:34,718 --> 00:22:36,594

Is this some kind of a test?

365

00:22:37,846 --> 00:22:39,180

Not at all.

366

00:22:46,604 --> 00:22:48,356

and one of bomb beer.

Yes.

367

00:22:48,439 --> 00:22:49,691

See, this is perfect.

368

00:22:50,567 --> 00:22:52,193

Hey, we all set?

369

00:22:52,443 --> 00:22:53,903

I don't know.

370

00:22:53,987 --> 00:22:55,071

I told you he'd puss out.

371

00:22:55,154 --> 00:22:58,074

Tell me you at least

brought the sandwiches.

372

00:22:58,241 --> 00:22:59,993

What's the problem?

373

00:23:00,076 --> 00:23:01,786

There is no problem.

374

00:23:02,078 --> 00:23:04,455

Tracy just gave me

(20)

375

00:23:04,539 --> 00:23:06,958

which means I can do anything I want.

376

00:23:07,041 --> 00:23:08,334

Anything?

377

00:23:09,419 --> 00:23:10,795

You mean...

378

00:23:10,878 --> 00:23:14,716

Yeah, she said

that love and sex don't have to be linked.

379

00:23:14,799 --> 00:23:16,467

She wants me to get it out of my system.

380

00:23:16,551 --> 00:23:21,389

Dude, your girlfriend just went from

the lamest to the coolest in one shot.

381

00:23:22,223 --> 00:23:24,350

You guys think it could be, like,

some sort of a test?

382

00:23:24,433 --> 00:23:26,686

- No, no.

- No, no.

383

00:23:26,769 --> 00:23:28,229

Tracy's a smart girl.

384

00:23:28,312 --> 00:23:30,022

She's mature enough to see

that you're a man...

385

00:23:30,106 --> 00:23:32,525

- Yeah.

...and you have certain needs.

386

00:23:32,608 --> 00:23:33,693

You think so?

387

00:23:33,776 --> 00:23:35,194

Absolutely.

388

00:23:36,153 --> 00:23:37,196

You're driving.

389

00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:39,782

Now get in the car

so we can go get you some random pussy.

390

00:23:40,950 --> 00:23:44,578

Gentlemen, it's Friday afternoon,

we've got a full tank of gas,

391

00:23:44,662 --> 00:23:46,998

a quarter ounce of weed,

three cases of beer,

392

00:23:47,081 --> 00:23:49,417

a ten-pound tank of nitrous,

we're underage...

393

00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:52,044

(21)

394

00:23:53,170 --> 00:23:54,213

Hit it.

395

00:24:15,818 --> 00:24:17,945

You sure this shit's safe?

396

00:24:18,070 --> 00:24:21,907

It's as safe as any other chemical

used to freeze-dry animals.

397

00:24:25,077 --> 00:24:26,829

Look at the size of that fucking chicken.

398

00:24:26,912 --> 00:24:27,955

Where?

399

00:24:30,916 --> 00:24:33,419

Whoa, what the fuck?

- What fucking chicken?

400

00:24:33,544 --> 00:24:35,796

Relax, he's hallucinating.

401

00:24:37,005 --> 00:24:39,007

Are you out of your fucking mind?

402

00:24:39,091 --> 00:24:41,927

Yeah, Tracy. What were you thinking?

403

00:24:42,010 --> 00:24:44,721

But you guys told me

I had to give him a reason to stick around.

404

00:24:44,805 --> 00:24:46,682

Yeah, you give him a reason,

405

00:24:46,765 --> 00:24:49,226

not give him a free pass

to go have a weekend orgy.

406

00:24:49,309 --> 00:24:50,644

You've got to stop this.

407

00:24:50,727 --> 00:24:54,147

If he has sex this weekend,

what do you think's gonna happen?

408

00:24:54,231 --> 00:24:55,482

That it will get it out of his system.

409

00:24:55,565 --> 00:24:57,317

Oh, yeah. That's how it works.

410

00:24:57,401 --> 00:24:59,736

He's gonna go from

getting laid back to dry humping.

411

00:24:59,820 --> 00:25:01,488

It's pretty risky, Tracy.

412

00:25:01,571 --> 00:25:04,991

Risky? It's a fucking Pandora's box, literally.

413

00:25:05,784 --> 00:25:10,122

(22)

the soft pink velvet on the inside of the box,

414

00:25:10,205 --> 00:25:13,959

he's not gonna go back

to rubbing his dick on the outside of the lid.

415

00:25:14,042 --> 00:25:15,836

Never thought of it like that.

416

00:25:15,919 --> 00:25:18,130

Tracy, men are like dogs

417

00:25:18,213 --> 00:25:20,924

that run around and hump

anything they see.

418

00:25:21,007 --> 00:25:24,010

Now go and get your dog back on its leash.

419

00:25:47,158 --> 00:25:48,660

Come on, Erik.

420

00:25:54,916 --> 00:25:57,377

I knew it was too good to be true.

421

00:26:02,882 --> 00:26:05,718

Sorry, kids. It's for the best.

422

00:26:32,662 --> 00:26:33,746

Tracy?

423

00:26:34,747 --> 00:26:35,957

Oh, Mr. Levenstein.

424

00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:37,208

- Hi.

- Hi.

425

00:26:37,291 --> 00:26:39,126

You're back for more yoga.

426

00:26:39,210 --> 00:26:40,711

Well, my wife is hooked on it,

427

00:26:40,795 --> 00:26:45,758

and she thinks if I can be

a little more flexible, we can try some new...

428

00:26:47,343 --> 00:26:51,180

<i>Have you ever heard of a book

called the Kama Sutra?</i>

429

00:26:53,015 --> 00:26:54,058

No.

430

00:26:54,517 --> 00:26:56,394

Oh, well, my wife just got it,

431

00:26:56,477 --> 00:27:00,231

and there's some stuff in there that requires

some serious stretching,

432

00:27:00,314 --> 00:27:02,358

if you know what I mean.

433

00:27:02,942 --> 00:27:06,153

Are you okay, honey?

(23)

434

00:27:06,737 --> 00:27:09,698

Oh, you know, just some boyfriend stuff.

435

00:27:09,782 --> 00:27:11,992

Oh, boyfriend stuff.

436

00:27:12,576 --> 00:27:15,079

Well, if there's anything I can do.

437

00:27:15,996 --> 00:27:19,667

No offense or anything,

but I don't think you'd understand.

438

00:27:20,292 --> 00:27:21,669

Oh, I see.

439

00:27:22,670 --> 00:27:25,047

You know, my son had his fair share

440

00:27:25,130 --> 00:27:28,884

of relationship/sexual/

441

00:27:30,552 --> 00:27:32,805

pastry-related difficulties,

442

00:27:32,888 --> 00:27:37,309

and I think my advice

helped him over the years.

443

00:27:38,811 --> 00:27:42,481

Well, do you have any advice for a girl

dumb enough to give her virgin boyfriend

444

00:27:42,564 --> 00:27:45,067

a guilt-free pass for the weekend?

445

00:27:45,692 --> 00:27:48,612

I'm sorry, a guilt-free pass?

446

00:27:48,946 --> 00:27:52,282

That means he could do whatever he wants

this weekend with no consequences.

447

00:27:52,366 --> 00:27:54,284

Oh my!

448

00:27:54,660 --> 00:27:57,579

Well, that certainly sounds progressive,

449

00:27:58,247 --> 00:28:03,210

and a safe bet on what is probably gonna be

a humdrum weekend.

450

00:28:05,003 --> 00:28:07,589

He's at the Naked Mile this weekend.

451

00:28:07,756 --> 00:28:12,010

You gave your boyfriend a guilt-free pass

to the Naked Mile? Are you kidding me?

452

(24)

Tracy, the Naked Mile is insane. You...

453

00:28:15,472 --> 00:28:19,142

From what I hear.

I wouldn't know from personal experience

454

00:28:19,226 --> 00:28:23,647

because I, you know,

I have nothing whatsoever to do with it.

455

00:28:23,730 --> 00:28:26,358

But, look, Tracy,

456

00:28:26,441 --> 00:28:29,694

even if your boyfriend is at this Naked Mile,

457

00:28:29,778 --> 00:28:32,781

it doesn't mean he's gonna do anything.

458

00:28:34,032 --> 00:28:35,116

Really?

459

00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:38,286

Well, just because he can,

doesn't mean he will.

460

00:28:39,537 --> 00:28:42,582

Relationships are all about trust.

461

00:28:45,794 --> 00:28:48,213

Yeah, I guess you're right.

462

00:28:49,005 --> 00:28:51,883

<i>Well, namaste.</i>

463

00:28:52,384 --> 00:28:53,635

<i>Namaste.</i>

464

00:29:11,611 --> 00:29:13,655

Hey, have you seen my phone?

465

00:29:13,738 --> 00:29:14,906

No.

466

00:29:14,989 --> 00:29:16,950

Maybe you left it back at school.

467

00:29:17,033 --> 00:29:18,993

No, no, I thought I put in my backpack.

468

00:29:22,830 --> 00:29:26,042

Hey, you wanna pull over

at that stop up ahead? I gotta take a piss.

469

00:29:26,125 --> 00:29:28,544

Just piss in a can or something.

470

00:29:30,046 --> 00:29:32,048

Man, I could cut my dick on the lip.

471

00:29:32,131 --> 00:29:33,591

Well, piss out the window.

472

(25)

Love that breeze off the lake.

473

00:30:16,300 --> 00:30:18,511

This place is incredible.

474

00:30:18,761 --> 00:30:21,847

Just think, next year

I'm gonna be going here.

475

00:30:21,931 --> 00:30:24,808

Yeah, thanks to Daddy

and his alumni connections.

476

00:30:24,892 --> 00:30:27,728

Fuck off.

I told you, I got in on my SAT scores.

477

00:30:27,811 --> 00:30:30,272

You scored five points

above being legally retarded.

478

00:30:32,191 --> 00:30:34,693

Whatever. Still got in.

479

00:30:35,861 --> 00:30:37,946

Hey, why does it smell like piss back here?

480

00:30:41,033 --> 00:30:43,202

This is it. Beta Delta Xi.

481

00:30:43,285 --> 00:30:45,120

This is the house?

Yeah.

482

00:30:45,204 --> 00:30:46,246

Cool.

483

00:30:48,165 --> 00:30:49,208

Whoa.

484

00:30:55,714 --> 00:30:56,965

What's going on here?

485

00:30:57,049 --> 00:30:58,675

I have no idea.

486

00:31:06,767 --> 00:31:10,312

Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink.

487

00:31:15,442 --> 00:31:17,402

Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink.

488

00:31:17,486 --> 00:31:18,570

Hold your drink!

489

00:31:22,449 --> 00:31:23,742

Whoa.

490

00:31:30,081 --> 00:31:31,791

Okay.

491

00:31:32,417 --> 00:31:33,835

Yeah.

492

00:31:37,505 --> 00:31:39,966

How you feeling there, Stretch?

493

00:31:40,425 --> 00:31:41,676

(26)

494

00:31:43,178 --> 00:31:44,596

'Cause guess what?

495

00:31:44,888 --> 00:31:48,933

Stifler can drink this shit all day long.

496

00:31:54,314 --> 00:31:55,690

Stifler!

497

00:31:57,150 --> 00:31:59,444

Your cousin is my hero.

498

00:32:02,197 --> 00:32:04,783

- All right, everybody freeze!

- Oh, shit.

499

00:32:04,866 --> 00:32:06,451

Campus security.

500

00:32:07,410 --> 00:32:09,329

Nobody takes another drink...

501

00:32:13,541 --> 00:32:16,794

...till I got my bet down. I got $200 on Stifler!

502

00:32:21,424 --> 00:32:24,385

Spanky, you had me going,

you silly son of a bitch.

503

00:32:24,469 --> 00:32:26,179

Let's do it. Do it!

504

00:32:26,262 --> 00:32:27,305

Yeah.

505

00:32:44,071 --> 00:32:47,325

You got steel nuts, my man.

I'll give you that much.

506

00:32:47,408 --> 00:32:49,076

But you're no match for the Stif-man.

507

00:32:51,078 --> 00:32:52,830

Fuck you, Stifler.

508

00:32:54,707 --> 00:32:55,833

Yeah.

509

00:32:57,585 --> 00:32:58,711

Yeah.

510

00:33:03,883 --> 00:33:05,217

What's the matter, Boy Band?

511

00:33:05,301 --> 00:33:08,095

You need a little something

to settle your stomach?

512

00:33:18,105 --> 00:33:20,524

Yeah, take in the Stifler essence.

513

00:33:21,192 --> 00:33:23,319

Mighty pungent.

514

00:33:33,412 --> 00:33:34,496

(27)

515

00:33:34,580 --> 00:33:38,292

And still Heavyweight Drinking Champion

of the World,

516

00:33:38,375 --> 00:33:43,380

Dwight "The Iron Liver" Stifler!

517

00:33:45,632 --> 00:33:48,844

I'm a bad motherfucker, baby!

518

00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:58,437

He's okay. He's okay.

519

00:34:05,319 --> 00:34:07,321

Hey, cousin.

520

00:34:08,822 --> 00:34:10,198

How you doing?

521

00:34:10,657 --> 00:34:13,702

I'm fine, Dwight. Are you okay?

522

00:34:14,286 --> 00:34:15,621

Oh, yeah, I'm fine.

523

00:34:16,788 --> 00:34:18,040

I'm fine.

524

00:34:18,540 --> 00:34:22,335

Hey, I heard that you killed

Grandma with your cumshot.

525

00:34:24,296 --> 00:34:25,630

That sucks, man.

526

00:34:30,886 --> 00:34:32,304

Should we take him to the hospital?

527

00:34:32,387 --> 00:34:34,055

No, he'll be fine.

528

00:34:34,139 --> 00:34:37,017

He told me he does this, like, once a month.

529

00:34:38,059 --> 00:34:42,355

Okay, well, you guys keep an eye on him.

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

530

00:34:59,164 --> 00:35:01,541

So, when are we gonna start partying?

531

00:35:01,833 --> 00:35:04,085

Oh, someone's feeling a little frisky.

532

00:35:04,419 --> 00:35:07,922

Let's just say I finally decided

to live up to the family name.

533

00:35:09,883 --> 00:35:13,094

Stifler? We got a serious problem, man.

534

00:35:13,887 --> 00:35:17,098

Mike and the guys just got arrested

(28)

535

00:35:18,766 --> 00:35:21,686

So what's the problem?

Just take the money out of my bail fund.

536

00:35:21,769 --> 00:35:23,980

They're almost half our football team.

537

00:35:24,063 --> 00:35:26,899

We gotta put a team

on the field, man, or we're done.

538

00:35:26,983 --> 00:35:29,319

- Why?

- 'Cause we're already on probation.

539

00:35:29,652 --> 00:35:32,322

We gotta participate in every intermural event

540

00:35:32,530 --> 00:35:34,741

or we're kicked off campus, man.

541

00:35:34,907 --> 00:35:36,492

We're four guys short.

542

00:35:41,247 --> 00:35:42,331

I play football.

543

00:35:43,416 --> 00:35:45,418

I played freshman year.

544

00:35:47,128 --> 00:35:48,421

What about you?

545

00:35:49,297 --> 00:35:50,715

A little Nerf here and there.

546

00:35:50,798 --> 00:35:53,092

Good enough. Stifler?

547

00:35:53,176 --> 00:35:54,302

Mmm?

548

00:35:54,385 --> 00:35:57,221

Can you play?

549

00:36:03,185 --> 00:36:07,064

Don't ever

550

00:36:07,148 --> 00:36:09,150

ask if Stifler can play.

551

00:36:19,910 --> 00:36:20,995

I'm good.

552

00:36:24,165 --> 00:36:28,419

The team we're playing's

been undefeated five straight years.

553

00:36:28,502 --> 00:36:30,713

These guys must be pretty serious.

554

00:36:30,796 --> 00:36:33,048

Fucking-A-right, they're serious.

555

(29)

Lambda Pi Gamma.

556

00:36:35,467 --> 00:36:38,929

They're our arch rivals in everything:

Sports, women, booze.

557

00:36:39,972 --> 00:36:42,766

These guys are fucking evil.

558

00:36:44,310 --> 00:36:45,519

Get ready!

559

00:36:45,602 --> 00:36:46,937

Come on!

560

00:36:47,438 --> 00:36:48,856

Down!

561

00:36:49,690 --> 00:36:51,900

Blue 42.

562

00:36:52,151 --> 00:36:53,235

They're midgets.

563

00:36:53,318 --> 00:36:54,403

Hut, hut!

564

00:36:58,282 --> 00:37:00,284

Don't let their size fool you.

565

00:37:00,367 --> 00:37:04,121

These guys are fucking animals.

566

00:37:04,246 --> 00:37:07,291

Did I do too much nitrous?

A midget fraternity?

567

00:37:07,541 --> 00:37:12,045

Those rich midgets from those infomercials

gave the school some huge grant,

568

00:37:12,129 --> 00:37:15,841

and started a school

for the vertically challenged and a fraternity.

569

00:37:15,924 --> 00:37:18,677

And this is where every midget

in America wants to be.

570

00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:19,803

Hot feet!

571

00:37:19,886 --> 00:37:20,971

That's right.

572

00:37:21,054 --> 00:37:22,097

Breakdown.

573

00:37:22,180 --> 00:37:24,725

These guys are the best of the best.

574

00:37:25,976 --> 00:37:27,519

Well, well, well.

575

00:37:28,186 --> 00:37:32,149

If it isn't the regular-size retards

(30)

576

00:37:32,232 --> 00:37:34,151

You ready to get your ass

kicked again, Shitler?

577

00:37:35,110 --> 00:37:37,988

Get back to Oz there

before you get your ass stomped, Toto.

578

00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:42,701

Toto was the dog, you fucking idiot.

579

00:37:42,826 --> 00:37:46,204

Lick my balls, big-wheel-riding,

midget motherfucker.

580

00:37:46,288 --> 00:37:48,164

It's little person, fuck-nut.

581

00:37:48,498 --> 00:37:52,127

This year, I'm gonna take

a chunk out of your other leg.

582

00:37:52,419 --> 00:37:53,670

You little...

583

00:37:57,882 --> 00:38:01,011

- You want it? You want it? Come on.

- Take it easy.

584

00:38:01,094 --> 00:38:02,554

Whoa. Whoa.

585

00:38:02,762 --> 00:38:04,472

Out of my way, assholes.

586

00:38:07,809 --> 00:38:09,769

What's that guy's problem?

587

00:38:09,853 --> 00:38:12,272

That's Rock. He's fucking crazy.

588

00:38:12,355 --> 00:38:13,940

- He plays dirty.

Out of my way, you fucking idiot.

589

00:38:14,023 --> 00:38:16,568

Last year, he bit a chunk out of my thigh.

590

00:38:16,651 --> 00:38:18,069

Jesus!

591

00:38:18,736 --> 00:38:20,864

Hey, his girlfriend's pretty hot.

592

00:38:21,990 --> 00:38:25,785

Yeah. And what's with that regular-size guy?

593

00:38:26,244 --> 00:38:30,623

Oh, it's Rock's cousin.

They had to let him in. Legacy.

594

00:38:32,542 --> 00:38:35,336

What a douchebag.

595

(31)

Can he play?

596

00:38:37,922 --> 00:38:40,883

No, he sucks.

597

00:38:52,478 --> 00:38:53,646

Hey, keep your head up.

598

00:38:53,729 --> 00:38:56,274

Whatever, they're midgets.

How bad can it be?

599

00:39:10,246 --> 00:39:11,330

Holy shit!

600

00:39:20,798 --> 00:39:23,342

Keep your head up, bitch.

601

00:39:28,806 --> 00:39:32,518

I told you, man.

Don't underestimate these little bastards.

602

00:39:34,228 --> 00:39:35,521

Down!

603

00:39:35,604 --> 00:39:36,981

Set!

604

00:39:37,523 --> 00:39:38,566

Hut!

605

00:39:58,752 --> 00:40:00,003

Yeah!

606

00:40:41,128 --> 00:40:42,921

- Beta!

- Come on!

607

00:40:43,004 --> 00:40:45,215

Let's go, fellas. Get on the line.

608

00:40:45,882 --> 00:40:47,634

Down!

609

00:40:48,301 --> 00:40:49,803

How you feeling, Stifler?

610

00:40:49,886 --> 00:40:52,514

I'm 6'1", Frodo. How

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