What I Would Do Differently
3. All of our communication and interactions will be transparent (be honest) but hopeful (the power of the gospel is real)
APPENDIX 8
HANDLING MEDIA REQUESTS
Depending on the size of the church and the community in which it resides, a pastoral disqualification can create a public stir and desire for media attention. It is important that everyone knows what to say or do in such situations.
1. Write and approve a Media Plan. In the plan, be sure to designate the person(s) who would be allowed to speak to the media. For Example:
• There is no need to release this information to the media. If they call us, Jeremy Bedenbaugh will respond by sharing a statement.
• Jeremy is The Journey spokesperson. Employees should direct all inquiries to Jeremy. No one else should speak to the media.
• Jeremy will share the prepared statement, politely decline to take any questions at this time, and thank them for calling.
2. Write and approve a Media Statement. Keep in mind that those outside the
church will receive this information. Therefore, keep it as brief and as impersonal as possible. Be sure to point to our ultimate hope in God. For Example:
In recent weeks, allegations of pastoral misconduct regarding Pastor Darrin Patrick were made and confirmed. The accusations were not of adultery nor financial in nature, but his behavior violates the high standard for a pastor/elder outlined in Scripture. This has led to the heartbreaking decision to remove Pastor Darrin from his leadership role at The Journey.
Darrin has willingly placed himself under the care of the elders, and they are seeking to diligently love Darrin, remind him of the Gospel, put a care team in place for his family, and make immediate plans for the church.
With these resources in place, we are extremely hopeful in our God who is powerful to bring redemption and grace from the midst of brokenness.
3. Give explicit instructions to staff and other leaders regarding how to respond if approached by those outside the church. For Example:
In the course of your work, or when you are at church, people may ask you questions about this situation. We ask you to handle it with discretion and professionalism.
If you are questioned:
a. Thank them for their concern.
b. You may share the statement that will be provided to you. (The same statement that will be sent to the congregation.)
c. Ask them to pray that God will bring good from this situation.
If they continue to ask questions, or feel they need to speak to someone, please direct them to Jeremy Bedenbaugh.
4. Write a slightly more detailed “Brief Statement” that can be shared with others who ask about the situation. For example:
Brief Statement:
In recent weeks, allegations of pastoral misconduct regarding Pastor Darrin Patrick were made and confirmed. These actions, combined with a historical pattern of sin, led to the heartbreaking decision to remove Pastor Darrin from his role at The Journey and require him to step down from all internal and external leadership positions.
The accusations were not of adultery, but his behavior violates the high standard for a pastor/elder. In the last few years the elders have experienced and confronted issues regularly and intentionally with Darrin. This reveals that he has not been pursuing a personal walk with Jesus in a manner that reflects his pastoral calling and position as an elder in the church (I Peter 5:1-5, I Tim. 3:1-7). Though we all stumble in many ways, those called to teaching and preaching carry the weighty responsibility of setting an example of a Christ honoring lifestyle with the consequence of stricter judgment (James 3:1).
We agonized over this decision, and from the very beginning of this process, the elders have sought diligently to love Darrin, remind him of the Gospel, put a care team in place for his family, and make immediate plans for the church. Darrin has willingly placed himself under this care.
With these resources in place, we are extremely hopeful in our God who is powerful to bring redemption and grace from the midst of brokenness. Ultimately, our faith in Jesus Christ and His Gospel gives us tremendous hope for renewed health and spiritual vitality for Darrin, the good of God's church, and the glory of Jesus Christ. Therefore, as the Bible teaches us, our hope is not in a leader but in the Lord:
The Lord is the strength of his people;
he is the saving refuge of his anointed….
Be their shepherd and carry them forever. –Psalm 28:8-9
APPENDIX 9
HELPING LEADERS CARE FOR THE CONGREGATION IN THE CRISIS OF
PASTORAL DISQUALIFICATION
In the midst of crisis, the need to shepherd1 the congregation can be easily neglected. At First Church,2 teams gathered and developed this resource to train our key leaders to be able to evaluate their own emotions, care for our people, and answer FAQ.
Our desire is to honor Christ as we seek to love one another well, assuming the best and providing grace amidst the various ways we will grieve together. In a situation like this, we can never anticipate how individuals will respond or what this will stir up in their stories. We wanted to provide some information to help equip you as you provide care for and minister to your brothers and sisters in the church.
Caring for Yourself
In order to care well for others, we must seek care for ourselves! Tension and anxiety are common to experience in the midst of unforeseen events, such as this. Taking the time to calm yourself and ensuring that your needs are being met may make it easier to sleep, concentrate and have energy as you care for those within your midst. Here are some suggestions to consider in the coming weeks:
• Identify 2-3 people who you know you can seek when you need prayer or a space to process what this situation is like for you. Be on guard not to let these conversations descend into gossip or fear.
• Make space to pray, meditate, and breathe. Distractions abound at times like this so it is helpful to use the Psalms in prayer, both to express our emotions to God and for God to impress Himself to us.
• Prioritize caring for your body through exercise, nourishing yourself with good food and getting adequate sleep.
1The larger a church is, the more difficult the communication becomes. In the case of The Journey, there are six separate sites and about 6,000 attenders. The sheer size and numbers led the church to develop a very extensive document to train staff and lay leaders to care for themselves, care for others, and be able to provide timely and accurate communication to those seeking to understand.
2Obviously a created name.
• Establish times within your home/life that are focused on play and connection where you commit to resting from discussing this situation or other stressful circumstances you are facing right now.
• Listen to music, spend time outside, be active, make art, etc.
• Practice Mindfulness: What is this situation stirring up in you? What emotional capacity do you have right now? Are you in a place to sit with someone amidst their fear/anxiety/anger? Do you sense a desire to minimize? Are you sensing a desire to pull away? How are you experiencing God?
• Resist the urge to be solely a Care-Provider or Leader, and find ways to be a Care- Receiver.
• Attend corporate worship
It would be wise to expect to be hit with different emotions at different times in the coming weeks and to have times of feeling tired or weary. Unfortunately, we also know that Satan would like to tempt us, and for us to feel isolated and as if we are alone. Please know that our heart is that you would receive care, and experience that you are one part of a greater Body. If there is anything the leaders or staff can do to care for you as you care for those around you, we ask that you please invite us into that.
Caring for Others—Understanding Others
During the first 72 hours of hearing the news, there will be shock and disbelief. The crisis period usually lasts for 2-3 weeks. In the first 48 hours there will be crazy things said.
There will be extreme anger and emotion. In the first three days few church members will think properly. Anger will begin to subside after day three.
Expect people to work through the stages of crisis/grief, which Kubler-Ross identifies as:
denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. People will hear the news at different times which means that people throughout the church will be at different stages in the process for the first two to three weeks. People will enter the crisis at different times, so the timeline will look different for different people. Some insensitive people may offend others. These types of conversations can lead to broken relationships. There must be sensitivity and awareness.
Expect there to be both irrational sympathy AND antipathy toward both Pastor Joe and church leadership. Some may question their personal faith or their faith in the church.
Preparing ourselves to shepherd our congregation:3
How this news is received by an individual will be influenced by where they fall on the following spectra of topics. The extremes are listed below. Everyone falls somewhere within each spectrum and that will impact their response.
1. How do I perceive Joe? (I’m here b/c of Joe --- I’m here in spite of him) 2. How serious are the offenses? (Not a big deal --- Unforgivable Sin)
3Understand that in any situation like this, people will react on a spectrum that is largely determined by their previous views of the pastor, the church, and the power of the Gospel. It is helpful to identify these spectrums, name them early, and utilize them in conversations.
3. How fitting is the discipline? (He confessed, it’s over --- 1 Strike, You’re Out) 4. How does this affect church? (Best thing that’s ever --- Worst thing ever) 5. How powerful is the Gospel? (Total power to heal --- People don’t change) Communicating with Others
As we communicate with others, we need to be clear on what happened and how the church is responding. Following is a brief explanation of church discipline, recap of the situation and a description of our response.
Church Discipline4
The purpose of church discipline is to maintain the honor and glory of Christ, restore the sinner and remove offense from the church. Our ultimate goal is health, spiritual vitality, and restoration for Pastor Joe, the care of God’s church, and the glory of Christ.
Recap of the Situation5