A recent survey of the most important attributes of a small group leader was taken by the members of small groups. Their number one response was, “Makes people feel comfortable sharing in the group.”4 Seventy-three present of the respondents made it their first choice. Why is this important? It shows how important it is for the members of
4 Ed Stetzer and Eric Geiger, Transformational Groups: Creating a New Scorecard for Groups (Nashville: B & H, 2014), 120.
the group to feel safe while they share with others. People are looking for a safe place to be real and authentic, where they can form real and meaningful relationships.
The group leader has the responsibility for making the group a safe place. The psalmist wrote, “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety” (Psa. 4:8). Henry Cloud argues that the Old Testament understanding of safety is all about carelessness5. It means that you can be yourself, secure in your relationship. It meant that you do not have to put on a fake face.
The leader can help make the group a safe place by offering grace to others, pointing the members toward God’s grace found in the Gospel. They can set the example by being willing to show grace and forgiveness to others.
The leader is responsible for structuring the meetings to be a safe place. The group covenant should shape the ground rules which will set the structure of the group meetings. This helps to make sure that members are not hurtful in their response to others as they share. If a member responds in an angry or hurtful manner to someone, the group leader must intervene and stop the attack. If someone in the group is hurting and the group is not responding to that need, the leader needs to intervene and lead the group to minister to this individual. This type of order and structure will go a long way in helping the members to feel that the group is a safe place where they can share.
Setting limits is important for a small group. The group leader has the
responsibility to limit the things which might cause damage or prevent discipleship and growth from taking place. Think about it as putting up fences against the things that will hurt others in the group. Setting limits can be difficult but it is necessary to provide a safe group meeting. Often it is as simple as a motion for someone to wait instead of
interrupting someone else. Other times it may mean making a statement to the group that we need to be more courteous in our responses to each other. Other times it might mean
5 Cloud and Townsend, Making Small Groups Work, 159.
revisiting the group covenant and adding a provision. Remember that the group covenant can be changed or added to as problems arise.
Time is also an important issue concerning safety. It takes time for the group to learn to trust one another. It takes time to trust the leader, and trust that he or she will respond to an honest statement in a safe way. There will be times when things do not go as they should. When this happens, it is important to learn from failures and to move ahead toward trust and safety.
Safety is important because a small group is a place that will benefit the most when the members are able to express their thoughts, feelings, emotions, sins, and hurts.
When these types of things are able to be discussed the members can help one another to find love and healing in these areas of their lives. Being in a safe place means that you are more able to be who God intends for you to be.
Question 1. How can the group leader make the members of a small group feel safe?
Question 2. How can a group leader confront a member over sin or bad theology is a way that will not destroy the safety of the group?
Lesson 7. The Responsibilities of a Group Leader. Part 2 Matthew 22:36-40 I. Bible Engagement
Small group leaders need to have a desire for God’s Word that is contagious. The personal habits of the leader must include spending time with God through His Word and prayer. Discipleship includes learning and living God’s Word. Small group meetings will focus on sermon-based Bible studies, so the leader must be faithful to attend the Church worship services and to prayerfully listen to the sermon. The focus on sermon-based Bible study will help ease the leader’s time needed for preparation in some way, The group will have heard and studied the text. The context and exegesis of the text will be supplied through the sermon. A list of study question will be provided as the basis of the study. The group can spend their time digging deeper into the Scripture and applying it to their lives.
The leader does not have to know everything about the Bible. He or she does not have to have all the answers to every question. But the leader should come to the
meetings prepared, having studied the lesson and able to guide the discussion in an informed manner. One of the great things about a small group Bible study is that the group can work together to find the answers to any question that may arise.
The attitude of the leader toward the Bible is very important. Is there an
excitement about studying the Word? Is there a reverence for the Word, a realization that the Bible is alive and active and sharper than a two-edged sword (Heb. 4:12)? Is there a desire to be obedient to the Word and to live it out each day? Is there a desire to be changed by the Word and for God to use His Word to mature others? This kind of attitude will go a long way in helping the group seriously study God’s Word.
Question 1. How can a group leader maintain an excitement for God’s Word in his or her personal life?
Question 2. Why is a sermon-based Bible study important in small groups?