What I Would Do Differently
Lesson 1: What is Different about Us? Spiritual Friendship: Colossians 3:12–17
“Let the peace of Christ . . . rule your hearts.” (Col 3:15) (Understanding Change: Part 1)
Introduction
• All of us are trying to change and grow, and we want to help others do the same.
But how can we do these things better, more wisely, and in a more biblically faithful way?
• Some fundamental truths:
o If we are trusting in Christ, we have changed (been changed—new creations, 2 Corinthians 5:17).
o If we are living in this world, we are still in need of change and in the process of change. We are being transformed into the image of Christ (2 Corinthians 3:18).
o One day we will be fully changed. In the end, we will be holy like Christ (1 John 3:2; Romans 8:29–30).
o We have changed, are changing, and will be completely changed.
Expectations for Lessons
• Change happens as the Holy Spirit uses God’s Word in the context of the church.
• Therefore, we will work to study the Bible together.
o Work—it will require effort o Together—we’re in this together
o Bible—we need God’s Word more than anything else.
• Our desire is to be nourished by the Word and thus grow (1 Peter 2:2). Our prayer is be sanctified in the truth (John 17:17). Our foundation is the inspired,
profitable, and penetrating Word of God (2 Timothy 3:16; Hebrews 4:12). More than anything, we want to hear and learn from the Lord through his Word.
• We are going to see how God’s Word speaks into our daily lives using practical stories and discussions. We will try to summarize principles but also get specific in application.
• We will seek to cultivate change between sessions through specific steps of obedience by faith. We will reap what we sow. We want to be doers of the Word.
Overview of Lessons
• 4 lessons to help us understand biblical change.
• 4 lessons to help us understand how to change.
• 2 lessons to help us understand how to help others change.
Figure A1. Adapted three-tree model for biblical change1
Today’s lesson: What is Different about Us? Spiritual Friendship Let’s begin with a real-life example.
1 This visual diagram adapts and combines the following: Robert Jones, “Three Tree” diagram, course lecture notes for 34300 (The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, July 2019); Jeremy Pierre,
“Dynamic Heart” diagram, in The Dynamic Heart in Daily Life: Connecting Christ to Human Experience (Greensboro, NC: New Growth, 2016), 17.
Case Study
Omer became a believer two years ago and has been growing in his faith. He’s learned a lot about the Bible and the church. He’s gotten to know other believers in the church and has enjoyed learning from them. He’s also enjoyed getting to serve in the church as he’s able. One area Omer has stayed faithful in is evangelism. One day Omer met with his friend Mehmet to talk with him more deeply about spiritual truths. At one point in the conversation, Mehmet asked Omer a question. “I think I understand your explanation of the gospel—who God is in his goodness, holiness, and justice, that I have rebelled and sinned against God, who Jesus is as Savior and why he died for sinners like me, and then how I must respond to Jesus if I want to be reconciled with God and become a
Christian—but you also talk a lot about the church. I don’t really understand the church and its benefits. Could you explain more? What is that community like? What are some reasons you go to church and spend so much time with those there? What’s so different about those friendships? What does the Bible say about the church?” How would you respond to Mehmet’s question? Explain your answer using Scripture.
Let’s study a passage and then we’ll come back to Omer and Mehmet.
Let’s Study the Word: Colossians 3:12–17
• Before studying Col 3:12–17, let’s consider the context of Colossians and the beginning of chapter 3.
o 1:15–20 o 1:28–29
o Col 2:6–7 are the key texts for the whole book. What is Paul’s main point in those verses?
• That brings us to chapter 3. What is true of the Christian according to 3:1–3?
• What are Christians called to do according to 3:1–3? What are the commands?
• Which comes first, who believers are or what they are to do?
o Why does this matter?
Colossians 3:12–14
• What is true about believers according to 3:12?
• As a reminder, to whom is Paul speaking/writing?
• What difference does that identity make in their daily lives? What are believers to do according to 3:12–14?
• Are any of these possible to put on in isolation from others?
• What is their motivation to put on these things?
• Why the need to command believers to “put on” these characteristics in the church?
• What should define Christian friendships/the believing community? What command here can summarize them all?
Colossians 3:15–17
• What are the two commands in verse 15?
• Fundamentally, what is the peace of Christ? (1:20, 22) What are implications for our friendships?
• According to verse 16, something else about Christ defines our community (3:16)? What is it?
• What are some other responsibilities we have toward one another (3:16)?
• Finally, how is everything in the community to be done? (3:17)
Let’s Summarize Principles from the Text
• We are chosen, holy, and loved by God (3:12).
• But it still takes work/effort for us to become who we are in Christ (3:10, 12–14).
We are given commands on how to live out who we are toward one another.
• Our friendships/relationships are different because Christ called us into one body and as we let his peace rule our hearts (3:15).
• Our friendships/relationships are different because the word of Christ dwells richly among us (3:16).
• Our friendships/relationships are different because we teach and admonish one another in all wisdom as Christ’s Word dwells in us (3:16).
• Our friendships/relationships are different because we do everything, including relating to one another, in the name of the Lord Jesus (3:17).
• In summary, our friendships/relationships in the church are different because of Jesus and his good news.
o Isn’t the vision of this community beautiful and attractive? Do you want to be a part of this type of community and have others act in these ways toward you?
o What do we need to “put off” to develop spiritual friendships? What do we need to “put on”? How can you, in your life, help us cultivate this type of community and have these types of spiritual friendships?
o As a part of the body of Christ, you are needed. Others need your compassion, patience, and love.
Let’s Apply Scripture to the Case Study
Now let’s think through how Omer might answer his friend, Mehmet, using the truths we learned from Colossians 3:12–17. How might he answer the question, “What is different about the community in the church? What is different about us and our friendships?”
Let’s Cultivate Change
• Pick a 31-Day Devotional on an issue you’d like to grow/change in over the course of the next few months. Read through the same devotional 3 times.
o First, as an overview of the issue and devotional.
o Second, in-depth for yourself to process and seek to grow.
o Third, to think of how to help someone else struggling in a similar way.
• Think about your relationships. What are some ways they display the characteristics of Colossians 3:12–17? What are some ways they fall short?
Which of these characteristics is hardest for you to put on? Why is it hard for you to obey in those ways?
• Pray Colossians 3:12–17 for your friends and church. Ask God to show you how you can be a good friend.