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^' FOftFREEINFORMATION₁ Cortnbe Ho*-t S'jdr

NORTH AMERICAN SCHOOLOFMOTORCYCLEREPAIR 4500CamDusDr.Dept_T}E056.Newport8each -T-

RushFREEinformation onhowIcanlearn tobeamote cyclemechanicforonlyafewdollars amonth.

NAME ADDRESS

.

CITY

.-:l.

.st;-e. -ZIP.

57

Little boy: "Mother, I've done

my good

deedfortoday."

Mother:

"What

didyou do?"

Little boy: "Six other boys

and

I helped an old lady across the street."

Mother:

"Why

six otherboys?"

Little boy: "She didn't want to go."

DonWatson Danmlie, Alabama

\^

¹

^

"Next timeyousignusupforafield trip atschool,

make

sureyou

know

who

sponsorsit."

Want

Ad: "Farmer, age 38, wishes to

wed woman

about age 30

who

drives a tractor. Please enclose a picture of the tractor."

Susan Keith Centerville, Ohio

"My

carand Ihave

some

bad habits in

common,"

explained a man.

"We

both drink, smoke,

and

have trouble getting startedin the morning."

Jay Ray Rogers, Texas

Two

old cows stood before a hole in a fence that led into a lush, green corn field.

One cow

turned to the other and said, "Who's going to say graze?"

Richard Parsons

New

Market, Iowa

A man

walked up to a vending

ma-

chine, put in a coin and pressed the button labeled "Coffee and double cream."

No

cup appeared.

Then

two nozzles went into action.

One

sent forth coffee, the other, cream. Afterthe prop- er amounts had gone

down

the drain where the cup should have been, the machine tu ned off.

"Now

that's real automation," remarked the man, "This thing even drinks the coffee for you!"

Jeff Johnson Neio Holland, Ohio

Teacher: "Give

me

a sentence using the

word

'fascinate.'"

Tom:

^"/ havenine buttons, but I can only fasten eight."

Jimmie Kolodziy Falls City, Texas

A

^railroad section foreman was re- quired for the first time to

make

out an accident report after a train struck a cow.

He

checked all the questions in the form only after careful delibera- tion.

When

he

came

to the last ques- tion, "Disposition of the carcass?" he scratched his head, took a ^last look at the dead

cow

and wrote ^"/ think she was kind of gentle."

James Stephan Arcanum, Ohio

The

minister prayed so hard for rain that an ensuing

downpour

hurt the crops. "That's what happens," growled anold timer,

"when

you get a preacher

who

ain't familiar with agriculture."

Kevin Townley Ewing, Illinois

Notice on a church bulletin board:

"Work

for the Lord. The pay is not

much

but the retirement plan is out of this world."

Keith Block Waubay, South Dakota

Phil: "Did you hear that the Bureau of the Mint is

now

minting coins at a big

new

mint in Burbank?"

Attie: "No."

Phil: "Yeah,

and

^it'sonly open from 6:00 p.m. to midnight."

Attie: "What?"

Phil: ^"/ guess that

makes

it the world's largest after-dinner mint."

Marilyn Bittner Putney, Vermont

Farmer, plowing with one mule:

"Giddap, Pete! Giddap, Barney! Gid- dap,Johnny! Giddap,

Tom!"

Stranger:

"How many names

does thatmule have?"

Farmer: "Only one. His

name

is Pete, but he doesn't

know

his

own

strength so I put blinders on him, yell a lot of names, and he thinks three other mules are helping him."

Ruth Moore

Liberty, Kentucky Did you hear about the fellow

who

was so cheap that he bounded

down

the

ramp

of the plane which had just landed and grumbled: "There's $2.50 worth oflifeinsurance

down

the drain."

Keith Block Waubay, South Dakota

Charlie, the Greenhand _{_}

w

Joe: "Charlie, what in the world does this have to do with thesong "America The Beautiful'?"

Charlie:

"Why,

can'tyousee?It'sthe 'FruitedPlain.'"

58 ^{The National}

FUTURE FARMER

^willpay $2.00 foreach inkc selected for publication on this page. lokes must be submitted on post cards addressed to The ^National

FUTURE

FARMER, Alexandria, Virginia22309. In case of duplication, payment will be for the first one received. Contributions cannot be acknowledged or returned.

V&MA

STYLE

83-R-4

New! Safari Antelope Foot, Treebark Kittytan Top

P. O DRAWER 9518 EL PASO, TEXAS 79985

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TheDeclarationof Independence:Thesignerswere men of rarecourage.

This was not the first risk

these jarmers ever took.

More

than halfthe signersofthe Declaration of

Independence were

farmers: either

farmers by

birth or

farmers by

choice.

So

"risk"

was something

they

had learned

to live with. It

was

altogether

appropriate

that they

should

face

one more

withoutflinching.

It

turned

out that the stuff of

farmers —

^pride,

grit,

independence — ^was

^{the stuff of} patriots.

Farmers

are

indeed

the

bedrock on which

this

,.Keepaty ctoifA with(AeCfarmer...^ i D<cen/en/>ia/cJrihite

.

nation is built.

As another

Fourth ofJuly arrives

— ^and

^{with our}

bicentennial celebration in the air

— we want

to

remind everyone

of the leadership of

farmers

in

launching America

. . .

and

of their continuing

vital role in sustaining

our way

of life

and

stan-

dard

ofliving.

Farmers made

this nation possible.

Today

they

make

itgreat. ,.