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Therefore, at their core, all sexual issues are manifestations of self-worship through the lenses of our complicated and multifaceted desires. The similarities of various sexual issues not only exist in their experience, but exist in their ultimate nature as well. In this way, all sexual issues have the same root and ought to be addressed with the same solution: the gospel.
This is a powerful truth that can help empower all of us to minister to those around us who struggle with sexual issues whether or not our struggles have directly mirrored theirs or not.
Gratefully, in time, I became open and accountable to a small group of Christians with whom I came to live out the truth that I was a sinner like everyone else. It wasn’t enough for me not to stigmatize myself; I needed to be known and upheld by fellow Christians. One male friend’s battle with heterosexual pornography, a woman’s loneliness in the long absence of male suitors, another friend’s need to give up a heterosexual relationship due to its immature, promiscuous nature – all three experiences resonated with mine and caused us to support each other meaningfully without my or anyone else’s being tagged the pervert. — Andrews Comiskey, Pursuing Sexual Wholeness, 24- 25
the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. (Genesis 3:6-7)
Fallen Culture
As we discussed earlier, the culture in which we live only perpetuates the sexual problems we have. In fact, in many ways, there are drastic effects of the culture upon our sexuality that we simply can’t avoid. And, of course, there are many effects that we could avoid, but choose not to.
Here’s the mistake I have often made. I know that media contains a
certain amount of sinful content that is dangerous. But instead of seeing how much I can avoid, I spend my energy trying to see how much I can handle.
I’m like a person who figures out he can take half a poison pill every day without killing himself. It’s good that he’s not dying, but can it be healthy to take all those halves of poison pills? — Joshua Harris, Not Even a Hint, 118
Satan
Satan does not “possess” believers or force you to sin sexually…however, he does play the role of a counselor that will encourage and affirm the lies that you are tempted to believe.
For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything. Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs. (2 Corinthians 2:9-11)
The epistles concentrate their attention on what we properly call spiritual warfare: our vulnerability to be taken captive to Satan to believe his lies and do his will. They present moral evil as a three-stranded braid of the world, the flesh, and the devil. Our social situation feeds us a stream of
beguilements and threats; our own hearts gravitate to lies and lusts; the devil
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world, the flesh, and the devil work in concert. The bible differentiates the tree strands of monolithic evil without dividing them. The Bible never teaches that we have three sorts of problems: one set termed world problems, a second set identified as flesh problems, and a third set called
‘spiritual’ problems. — David Powlison, Power Encounters, 109
Others’ Sin
Living among other sinners means that we are going to be sinned against. We are going to be hurt (often times very badly) by the sin of others, and it is going to affect our lives and our emotions. There are a couple of different ways that others’ sin can impact us and our sexuality.
First, others’ subtle, non-sexual, sin can impact our sexuality
• Parental neglect
• A cold and unaffectionate spouse
• Rejection by others of the opposite sex
Second, others’ blatant sexual sin can impact our sexuality
• Molestation
• Rape
• Sexual Harassment
All of these things can be thought of as “shaping influences” in our lives that may not have a direct cause-effect relationship with our sexual issues, but cause suffering in our lives that are inevitably a part of the equation of these issues.
Shaping influences are those events and circumstances in a child’s
developmental years that prove to be catalysts for making him the person he is. But the shaping is not automatic; the ways he responds to these events and circumstances determine the effect they have upon him. There is clear biblical warrant for acknowledging the lifelong implications of early
childhood experience. The major passages dealing with family (Deuteronomy 6, Ephesians 6, and Colossians 3) presuppose these
implications. The Scriptures demand your attention to shaping influences. — Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child’s Heart, 10