UFO SOLAR

April-May,1984

$-|98

GIANTAirship-10FEETLONG¹ Powered bythesunNothing else to buy ExposeAirship to thesunand

itrisestotremendousaltitudesYOUcontrol height with specialflyingcable (included)It"cut loose"Airship can reach 30.000teet!TestedinWisconsin,Iwatch- )ed aneagle attack the Airshipat2.000feetwhileitwas

stillclimbingGuaranteedtoflyUse year around—

nowmdreguired You have the tun—letthesun do theworklRETURN FOR REFUNDIN30DAYSIFNOT PLEASEDOnlySI 98+97cpostage&handlingSend total$2 95 SpecialOtter:2for$5or5forS10 postpaid. Excitinggift ORDERTODAY¹Grandpas Shop. Dept AS-1136. 9043S.WesternAve..

Chicago.Ill 60620.Mailorders only. 47

The

jokg Page

A

farmer tooka sick chicken to the vet.

The good

doctortold

him

thebeak had

grown

out so

much

the chicken couldn't eat properly, but that if the beak werefiled

down

a bit, everything

would

be all right.

The

vet had an emergency call

and

couldn't handlethe jobjustthen,but heassured thefarmer

it

was

easyto do;just becareful notto filethebeaktoo much.

A

few days later they happened to meet in

town and

the vet asked about the chicken.

The

farmer replied that it

had died.

"Oh, toobad,"saidthevet.

"Did you

filethebeak

down?" The

farmerreplied thathe had.

"

You

didn'tfileittoomuch, did you?"

the vetasked.

"Well, no," the farmer said. "// was

dead when

Itookitoutofthe vise."

Jameson Weber

Wittenberg, Missouri

"ThisistheJonesChicken Farm, but

Tm

notyourfinefeatheredfriend.

"

One

dayafarmerdecidedtoteachhis wife todrive thefarm pickup.

He

took herout toa seldom used dirtroad and

let her take the wheel. She

was

doing fineandhebeganto relax. Suddenlyhe heard a grinding noiseand was thrown tothefloor.

As

he picked himselfuphe asked what happened. "Well,"his wife replied, "we were approachinga

paved

roadso Itook it out of^this

D

fordirt

and

putit in

P

for paved.

"

David Naylor Lynn, Indiana Joe: "Tlie doctor told

me

^{to drink}

lemon

juice aftera hot bath."

Moe:

"Did

you

drinkthe

lemon

juice?"

Joe: "No, Ihaven't finished drinking allthehot bath wateryet!"

Richard Smith Portales.

New Mexico

On

a hotAugust

day two

pigs tried to

work

their

way

deeper into the

mud

wallow. Snorted the first pig, "/never sausageheat.

"

"You're telling me," the other one grunted,

"Tm

reallybacon."

TerryJordan Alexandria, Virginia

A man

called the

IRS

to see if he could get a certain deduction

on

his taxes.

The

reply

was

"No!"followedby

"Thisisa recording.

"

JeffKing Schuylerville,

New

York

Bessy:

"What would happen

if

cows

wereputin orbit?"

Bossy: "Idon't

know,

what?"

Bessy:"It

would

bethefirstherdshot 'roundtheworld.

"

Jeff Waters Wapakoneta, Ohio

A

church that loved

good

^fellowship always served coffee after the sermon.

The

pastoraskedalittle

boy

^ifhe

knew why

they served the coffee. "/ think,

"

said theboy,"it'stoget thepeople wide

awake

before they drive

home.

"

Gregg

Holloway

Anderson, Missouri

An

oldcodger guidedhiscar

around

asharpcurve

and

ran a ministeroffthe sideof theroad and

down

an

embank-

ment.

The

old timerwalked

down

tothe car and asked the minister, "Are

you

hurt?

Are you

allright?"

The

ministerreplied, "Tmfine, thank goodness. The

Lord

waswithme."

The

old timer replied, "Well,

you

betterlet

Him

ridewithme,you'regoing tokill

him

drivingthatway.

"

Virginia Strickland Lakeland, Florida

A

ruralboy,

home from

college,went tovisithis hillbillygrandfather. ^"

Whatca

larnin?"askedthe old man.

"English, French

and

algebra.

"

"Say somethin in algebra,son."

Not

wanting to disappoint the

man,

thestudentsaid, "Pi-R-squared."

The

old

man

exploded,

"You

ain't larnin'nothin!Everyone

knows

pie are round, cornbreadaresquared.

"

Gary Watson

Bonifay, Florida

Q:

What

did thebottle-fed calfsay?

A: Istillpreferthe udder way.

Tim

Hershey Ashland, Ohio

Charlie,

the Greenhand

"Ofcoursenot, but^it makesyou stopandthink.

'

NOTICE:

The NaiionalFUTUREFARMERwiltpav $5.00 for each jokeselectedfor publicationonthispage.Jokesmust be addressedtotheNationalFUTURE FARMER,

P.O.Box15160,Alexandria. VA22309 Incaseofduplication,paymentwiltbefor thefirstonereceived.Contributionscannot be acknowledged orreturned.

48 TheNational

FUTURE FARMER

'hi

^:*

i

Distinctive styling

you can see

...

handcrafted

qualityconstruction

and comfort you can

feel.

That's the Tony Lama

difference.

BrandNew!

TONYLAMA NAMESPACEBELTSWITH INTERCHANGEABLESNAP-IN LETTERS.

Available infour designs (top to bottom): Style #10002, acornemboss;Style#10003,basketweave emboss;.Style

#10001,handpainted corn emboss; Style #10004filigree with bluebackground.

m

ft

ILL

Tony Lama Company,

Inc. • 1137

T

otstylesshownleftto right areStock No. 6532,aztec shrunken shoulderand Stock No. 8025, peanutbrittle lizard.

iadeinthe U.S.A.

treet ^• ElPaso,Texas

79915

Could you get along without the services of

your ^local CO-OP ^?

Sure. One way ^{or another.} But

things wouldn't be the same.

Why not? Because the simple device, of farmer ownership, has revolutionized the business of farm supply and marketing. And ^that

revolution affects you every day of

your

life . . .

whether or not you're

doing business with your local co-op.