Finding 4
The Order That Exists Around
Mapp (2003) found that when trusting and caring relationships between parents and administrators exist, parents are more apt to participate in their children’s educational lives.
Mapp’s (2003) findings also underscored the importance of the school’s leader in “creat[ing] and sustain[ing] a school culture that embraces full participation on the part of families” (p. 60). At SPA, trust is built within the parent
community, paramount to its mission and culture, through several intentional and interlocking practices.
There is a culture of “knowing and valuing” parents
At SPA, there is a culture of “knowing and valuing” members of the
community, which is prominently featured in the school’s mission statement. The mission statement informs the stakeholders’
understanding of parent engagement and sets the tone and direction for the entire School to follow. The Head of School continuously conveys to parents his belief that “[t]he principles of the school’s mission—character, conduct, scholarship, leadership, service, and achievement—[should be] alive and readily evident in the life of the
school.” A division head explained how this messaging occurs:
It comes from the mission statement. And [the Head of School]. Every time that we have a parent gathering, like a Back
to School Night, [the Head] will share the mission statement and talk about it. And one of the pieces that’s very different, and I spoke to this already, is the piece that talks about that the adults need to model these qualities. And so, again, coming together and setting that
expectation up front that we, as an adult group, have to work together and model qualities and make things happen for
kids….And I think people hear that and I think that’s a great way to set that tone through your mission statement and then live it.
The spotlight that the mission
statement casts on being “known and valued” sets the stage for how
members of the community treat each other. It also delineates how SPA responds when parents deviate from set expectations:
The school’s mission is really centered around “known and valued.” And I would say that the biggest expectation from our parents or community or faculty or anyone is that we all know and value each other. So, for instance, one expectation of our parents is that they model the behaviors that are listed in our mission. So you know, they’re on the sidelines at a sports game, we need them to be showing the sportsman-like conduct, and they need to know and value all the athletes and not show any kind of favoritism or boo or anything like that. That’s just not something that you see on this campus ever. And if you do,
then it’s addressed immediately.
It’s not something that we let grow. That’s not our culture.
Parents have taken up the messages that SPA has delivered about the responsibility administrators and parents share to model appropriate behavior for the students. Parents’
acceptance of this role seems to have impacted the ways they engage in the community. One parent of a ninth- grade student whose husband is an alum put it this way:
So I just feel like [the Head of School] is always like, it’s not just us, it’s you. We need to work together. It’s only going to be successful if we work
together. And I think that hits people and they’re like, “Oh gosh, like I want to get in and help too because of your
message to us that it’s not just us.” And you know, you can’t just expect the teacher to do it all.
With a culture of mutual respect firmly in place, parents tend to trust the administration and defer to them as professionals. One way parents demonstrate this trust is by using the normal channels of communication when a concern arises. An experienced parent directly related parents’
willingness to follow this order to the culture at SPA:
Yeah, I don’t get a sense that people immediately go to the Head of School. We use the channels that are before us in baby steps. And, that’s a
respected process. That’s part of the culture, and I’m very
comfortable with that.
There is an intentional practice of engaging in open, direct, and transparent communication with
parents
Administrators and parents viewed regular, direct, and transparent communications as being particularly important in establishing order at SPA.
In the parents’ view, SPA exhibits its commitment to facilitating a spirit of parent engagement by regularly sharing information with parents. The
modalities of communication range from the weekly newsletter and PTA meetings to grade-level website pages on which teachers post and
communications from grade-level representatives.
One parent active in the PTA explained that SPA’s weekly newsletters update parents on opportunities to take part in school activities: “And so you see … here’s a list of volunteer opportunities coming up, then you can click into that. And then you can see all the different things that are happening.”
Another mother (who does not participate in the PTA) similarly observed that “our weekly newsletter from the school…always has a section about ways to get involved.” The school-sponsored PTA mirrors the welcoming tone of these
communications at its meetings. As one PTA participant noted, all PTA
activities are “wide open for everyone, and we welcome you to please sign up.” This culture of embracing parent support is evident even to SPA’s newest
members. One newcomer whose family recently joined SPA expressed her appreciation for how “warm and welcoming” the administrators and other parents have been since her family arrived.
Parents regarded the frequency and transparency of the communications as a decisive factor contributing to the parents’ sense of trust for
administrators. One parent contrasted her experience at SPA with ones she had in other schools, and explaining why the direct communication at SPA keeps parents out of the weeds:
I’ve never been in a school setting where you’ve gotten so much, “We’re no longer doing this, and here’s why.” There’s so much thought. And they
communicate it so well with you, whereas sometimes people [in other schools] make changes, but you don’t know that changes were made. Or they’re just not willing to change this is how [they’ve] done it, [so] this is how we’re going to do it. There is so much change here, and it is so clearly laid out [for parents], and you don’t feel…like [you]
need to get in there.
An experienced parent with two children at SPA concurred with this assessment, explaining how the trust she has in the school and the deference she shows to administrators emanates from the transparency around decision- making:
These folks do a lot of
independent research in their specific fields. It’s not my field.
I’m not an educator, so I have to have faith and trust that they
are making the best decisions given, you know, all the
expertise that they have. But I do appreciate the fact that [the Head of School] and community when they make a decision about something will say, here’s a long email or here’s a parent conference opportunity. We’re making changes, and this is why and I’ve repeatedly seen that and repeatedly walked away and said, “Wow, they really did such due diligence before they made a decision to make a change or whatever it is.” Whether it was changing the academic
scheduling last year, introducing this new app this week, I feel privileged that I can rely on these experts to do what they do best. So I don’t feel it’s like up to me to come in and say, “Hey, I’m second-guessing that.”
The openness and transparency of the communications concern not only decisions and events, but also what SPA’s expectations are for parents. One parent summarized the clarity with which SPA’s administration delivers messages about its expectations and how parents readily receive those messages:
It’s just kind of made clear from the get-go that, for example, in the new parent orientations, the way they present stuff is kind of formal. And they don’t follow up by surveying you and asking what you think all the time. While feedback is not rejected, and you can give it, they don’t solicit it…so it’s sort of like you have the opportunity to speak up if there’s something that you don’t
agree with, but it’s not a culture where parents are actively being solicited for their opinions on things. And I think people, by and large, are okay with that.
And if they decide they’re not, they probably leave, but the attrition is super low. So I think people get it when they look at the school, somehow that message is conveyed clearly.
As a senior leader offered this explanation for why parents tend to accept direction from the
administration:
We’re not loosey-goosey. We’re not flip. We’re very intentional about the decisions that we make. We’re very clear about what the framework is and how we’re doing that. So it’s not a question. It’s not
ambiguous…with respect to anything that happens, there’s transparency. And it’s clear, and I think that helps set the stage for everything….You know, it’s kind of like the framework is set, and everyone exists within that.
And I think that’s a very professional way to
operate….It’s a very specific set of guidelines and rules.
This administrator indicated that a transparent approach “leads to that trust,” which is critical to SPA’s ability to function as it does: “If there’s a distrust of the administration, if people don’t trust, then you’re done. It’s over.
But if people generally trust what’s happening, you know, I found that it’s, it makes a big difference.”
There is an intentional practice of hearing concerns
The intentional practice of hearing concerns is another factor that contributes to the negotiated order between parents and administrators.
Parents across the board (experienced and new, those who participate in the PTA and those who do not) praised SPA for having an “open-door policy,”
establishing a “feedback loop,” and
“soliciting the information that they need to help get them to the right decision without it becoming a town hall.” One PTA leader explained how SPA’s willingness to listen impacts the way she and other parents respond to conflict:
My whole thing is that when people feel like they’re heard, they’re gonna feel a lot better.
Whether we do anything about it or not, they just need to be heard. And if you have that, then you have a lot more
positive moving forward…to me, as long as there’s an open
dialogue, and no one’s going to be perfectly happy with
anything…at least you felt like [the Head of School] listened and addressed it in some way. It may or may not be to my liking, but he listened and heard it, and then I’m fine with what they’re doing.
A parent who does not participate in the PTA explained that when this
process occurs, parents accept the message without pushback:
It doesn’t mean it’s going to change what [administrators] do, because I think they’re pretty good once they have made that decision. And again, it’s such a thoughtful decision that they make, and there’s a lot of research that backs it up, but I think as parents, we do feel like we’re heard, even if the
outcome isn’t what we
necessarily wanted, and they’re able to talk through the concerns that we have.
The Head of School described this practice and highlighted how the exchange between administrators and parents occurs:
There are things I say often, and one is, “I hear you, I don’t agree, and this is why I don’t agree.” You can least
acknowledge that they’ve been heard, and then we can come at it from [the standpoint of] we disagree about these points. It’s not a personal thing. It’s just the fact that here’s what I don’t agree with versus what you don’t agree with….You will know
where I stand. It may not be a position you agree with, and I’m okay with that. But let’s de- personalize this and talk about the issues and where we stand on the issues…I’m completely open. It doesn’t mean I will agree with you, but we can at least have the conversation.
The importance of hearing concerns is recognized throughout the
administration, at all levels from the
senior to junior ranks. A senior leader described the approach to
disagreement with parents that she espouses, which resembles the Head of School’s viewpoint:
I think the school has to listen and has to pay attention and then respond appropriately, and so long as our family feels
listened to. They may not agree, actually, I think this is true across the board, they may not agree with what’s being said, or what the decision is, but at least they feel listened to and heard, and whatever the issue, we’re giving a fair shot…so long as they feel like they’ve been heard, and they’ve had the ability to advocate for their child and all that stuff…they don’t feel angry.
That doesn’t mean they’re always happy with the decision.
But they’re not angry at the school as a result…this requires diplomacy.
A more junior administrator had a similar take on the issue, explaining that when a parent comes to her with a problem, she tries “to listen, first and foremost…[and then] validate as much as I can what they’re saying without necessarily agreeing.”
While parents appear to accept the current negotiated order, one parent observed that there would be
disruption in the community if the administration were to abandon the practice of hearing concerns: “There’s always the first opportunity for a parent that doesn’t agree with
whatever to go and the door’s always open. And if that wasn’t the case, I bet that would spread like wildfire
throughout the parent community.”
There is an intentional practice of strong leadership and not kowtowing
to parents
The Head of School’s skill in leading with a strong, even, and decisive hand emerged as another form of trust- building with parents. One experienced parent described the leadership style at SPA and how this leader’s resolve
contributes to the order negotiated with parents, which parents, in turn, respect:
You sense there’s a leader….And this isn’t one of those loosey- goosey communities where people kind of shape-shift between all these different roles. There’s a hierarchy, and there are systems where things are communicated. And it’s your responsibility to dial yourself in and know what’s going on. And if you have a problem, you let somebody know, but, you know, I think the boundaries are they are pretty clear….[As a parent, you] don’t go to the Head of School if you’re annoyed about something. You start small and move forward from there.
Another parent echoed these
sentiments regarding the firmness of the leader’s approach:
I think [the Head of School] has laid down the law on [parent influence]. I think he has an open-door policy in terms of expressing their concerns, but I
don’t ever get the sense that they will sway a policy or a decision. From my perspective as a parent, I don’t think so.
A few parents pinpointed specific characteristics of this school leader that reinforced the line separating parents and school. One stated:
Our school leader is not warm.
And so people don’t try to take advantage of his over-warmth and kindness. You know, he exudes a veneer of corporate professionalism. And so I think that keeps some of the folks who might otherwise try to poke or pry or work around. It just sets this really clear boundary, like, you can talk to me, but he just has no problem saying “no.” So I think that the persona of the leader can force these
boundaries that we’re talking about. And I think his persona is one that keeps people here. And so it’s not this warm, fuzzy, open door, huggy-kissy type of leader. It’s not that kind of person. So, you know, he’s very structured, and so people can see his structure, and they’re not really going to mess with that.
Another parent described the Head of School as being comfortable saying,
“This can’t be our priority right now.”
Along these lines, the Head of School described himself as “bold in my
expectations of people,” explaining his approach to parent conflict in this manner:
You don’t just shift and shape and blow with every wind that comes in. And you need to be
clear about why we do these things. And this is the foundation that gets built. I think you have to be clear not just in today’s world, but in any world. We have done some parent surveying. But you get the outliers. Those voices that say, “Oh,
everything’s wonderful" or “I’m thinking of pulling my kid.” But you don’t get anything in the middle.
One division head contrasted the leader’s style with that of a former boss at another school who was not successful in establishing order in the community:
Another leader that I worked with…tried to make everyone happy. So, someone came in with an idea—parent, teacher, didn’t matter. Everything was
“yes.” And we’re going to do that, or we’re going to stop doing that….To me…if you’re not grounded in how you’re making your decisions, you don’t end up making anyone happy in the long run. You know, it’s just yes, everybody gets their way, and in the end, it doesn’t fit. I feel like it backfires. And then I mean, I saw that happen.
In addition to having a strong personal constitution, the Head of School has been aided in establishing boundaries with parents by stable and robust enrollment numbers, according to one senior administrator:
It’s just the foundation of everything. If you don’t have that, then you’re going to be making compromises everywhere else. And you’re going to be
more willing to perhaps kowtow, for lack of a better word, to parents or parents’ demands because you’re so afraid of losing a family that you’re going to be doing things that maybe you wouldn’t under normal circumstances do….There’s just no question that solid enrollment has been the foundation on which pretty much everything else has happened.
The power that the current leader exercises over parents has evolved.
Under a former administration, the parents—particularly those involved in the PTA—existed “outside of the school’s formal supervisory and
sanctioning capacity” (Lewis & Wilson, 2012, p. 4). Before the current Head of School took the helm approximately 15 years ago, the PTA was not under the umbrella or control of the school.
Instead, it was fully-incorporated as its own 501(c)(3) corporation and had a voting seat on SPA’s Board of Trustees.
Additionally, the PTA engaged in private fundraising and directed the monies raised as it saw fit. One of the administrators whose tenure spans decades commented candidly on the difficulties the former structure posed for SPA: “They were all about raising money for SPA, which as we were putting together our development efforts…that was very tricky because we were basically fighting for the same dollars.” Equally concerning was the fact that the PTA did not display an even hand in funding allocations. One senior administrator said, “They were doing things like they got a wonderful, comfortable coach bus for the boys’
lacrosse team…and no other team was getting that.” Not surprisingly,
independent school experts have