What I Would Do Differently
Lesson 3: What Is My Role?
become more serious about religious faith is for parents to become more serious about theirs.”
▪ “Research is nearly unanimous on this point: parents matter most in shaping the religious lives of their children.
▪ “Herein lies the rub. Many adults lack confidence in articulating much less teaching, their own faith.”
▪ Take Home from Almost Christian.
• Parents Matter!
o Parents are the biggest influence in the lives of their children, therefore…
▪ Your discipleship matters most!
▪ Who you are is greater than what you say!
▪ Don’t choose a church based on a great children’s ministry; choose a church that will disciple you first. Your personal discipleship will be the greatest tool for discipling your own children.
• MVU, Bible Studies, Books, Triads, one on one discipleship.
▪ What are you listening to, reading, studying?
www.risenmotherhood.com o Words and Parenting
▪ Words in Scripture
▪ Words come from the heart
▪ Words as primary in parenting
▪ Heart diagram
▪ Need to redeem your heart in order to effectively use words in parenting.
If I have never done family discipleship, where can I start?
• Repentance (Remember my testimony)
• Simple obedience
• Gather other parents/support around you to encourage you.
As we look at the Church’s role in the discipleship of your children, let’s watch this comical video that pokes fun at this dynamic and relationship.
Lutheran Satire – The Gilbert and Sullivan Mass7
Church’s Role
Models of Family Ministry:
During the past century, ministry to families has evolved and churches have developed different models with variant degrees of family involvement into church life. Four main models have gained popularity in recent years:
segmented-programmatic, family-based, family-integrated, and family- equipping models.
7 LutheranSatire, “The Gilbert and Sullivan Mass,” March 2, 2014, https://www.youtube.com/
Explain briefly the fragmentation of the family after WW2 (industrialization, suburbs, automobile, mom working) and increase of para-church
organizations which lead churches to create age specific ministries. While this is not all bad, it did help cultivate a church-focused approach of child/teen discipleship as opposed to family-focused discipleship.
Briefly mention each of these models
• Segmented-programmatic model
In many ways, this is the traditional view of youth ministry.8 This role does not emphasize parents as having the primary role of discipleship with their children.
While children in this model may be trained, taught, and ministered to, it fails to realize the disproportionate amount of time that children are at home and not at church. In its failure to see the parent’s role as primary disciple-makers of their children, the church pours its time into the discipleship of children and teens, and neglects to regularly equip and invest in parents.
Explain with making individual circles for Youth, children, adult ministry, elderly
• Family-based model
To the observer, the family-based model would look similar to the segmented- programmatic model with one major difference. As Brandon Shields explains,
“We are not suggesting a radical change in programming. What we are suggesting is a fresh mindset: Parents and family are crucial to faith development in every area of a ministry’s program.”9 Mark Devries says that this move is more of a ministry philosophical change and not a radical change in programming—it is repurposing the event to include family.
Explain with making one big circle – church and then another circle inside of Family (children and youth are small circles inside the family circle)
• Family-equipping model
The final model of family ministry was articulated by Timothy Paul Jones in Family Ministry Field Guide when he defined family-equipping ministry as “the process of intentionally and persistently coordinating a ministry’s proclamation and practices so that parents are acknowledged, trained, and held accountable as primary disciple-makers in their children’s lives.”10 Family-equipping ministry agrees with family-integrated and family-based ministry models in their desire for parents to the primary disciple-makers of their children. However, it does not abandon age-organized activities for youth and children, realizing the need for peer influence, and additional adult, non-parental influences. This model restructures the congregation to not only partner with parents at every level of ministry, but also to disciple them.
Same as family based but remove circle around family
• Family-integrated model
8 Bryan Nelson and Timothy Paul Jones, preface to Trained in the Fear of God: Family Ministry in Theological, Historical, and Practical Perspective, ed. Randy Stinson and Timothy P. Jones (Grand Rapids: Kregel, 2011), 20.
9 Brandon Shields, “Family-Based Ministry: Separated Contexts, Shared Focus,” in Perspectives on Family Ministry: Three Views, ed. Timothy Paul Jones (Nashville: B &H, 2009), 98.
This model, championed by Vodie Baucham, Jr., is rather different from the other models represented in this section. This model does not have ministries focused on children or youth ministry, including the nursery. The entire congregation is included in the worship service.11 Allowing children to witness and engage in the worship service has many benefits, including the child’s ability to soak up and internalize worship, prayer, and doctrinal teaching.12 This model heavily depends on the equipping of fathers as leaders, as well as family worship to maintain consistent discipleship among the generations.
Just one big circle of Church – no other circles.
Emphasize that MVCC strives to uphold a Family-Equipping model.
In-Class Discussion
• Review Position Paper of “Family Ministry at Mountain View Community Church.”13
Homework:
• Do you see yourself as the primary discipler of your children or do you see that as the church’s role?
• Revisit the question above. In reality, if the church spends 1-2 hours a week with your child, how much time are you spending with your child in spiritual
development?
11 Voddie Baucham, Family Driven Faith Doing What It Takes to Raise Sons and Daughters Who Walk with God (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2011), 195.
12 Paul Renfro, “Family-Integrated Ministry: Family-Driven Faith,” in Jones, Perspectives in Family Ministry, 57.
Lesson 4: Practical Development of your Family’s