Dengan kata lain, kekerasan emosional dalam hubungan pacaran tidak dipengaruhi oleh perbedaan gender (Começanha et al., 2017). Ukuran multidimensi pelecehan emosional Demirtaş dkk. - Versi Turki (MMEA-TR). 2018) digunakan untuk mengumpulkan data dasar tentang pengalaman kekerasan emosional.
Participant 1's experience related to childhood parenting experiences made Participant 1
Furthermore, the other two participants, namely Participant 2 and Participant 4, had the same basic source of anxiety when their parents' attitudes were quite ignorant, which made Participant 2 and Participant 4 feel helpless in the environment, so they felt that they needed help from other parties to compensate for their anxiety. It seems like first damn this is new territory, well I don't know then I don't know my mother left me and that's how it is. At first I was really shocked (..) I just sat still and looked like I was looking left and right for a long time, I didn't feel like two hours had passed.” - Participant 4 (BA.1).
Overall, each participant's diagram shows an overview of neurotic trend dynamics from childhood to adolescence.
So I just wanted to leave it at that, I wanted to go and play.” - Participant 1 (TAs2.2 - Moving towards in adolescence). Mulai dari saat sini, the tendency of tren neurotik yang mitilidu oleh Partisipan 1 beliga menjadi melangan orang lain (tren neurotik aggressive type). Security: The father has no role; separated from the mother; the mother lacks appreciation; the mother criticizes; the mother is inconsistent; the mother is overprotective; the mother enforces.
I'm not comfortable there, but sometimes I'm, uh, grateful because I'm like, uh, you can count on me in certain ways, you know.” - Participant 1 (TAh2.2 - Moving towards adulthood).
Participant 2 perceived their parents as figures who lacked in providing affection and
My mother said I was very obedient to my servant (..) Yes, I am, I don't really like to have conflicts for a long time, from the beginning (..) I took the initiative to finishing first, that's for sure." - Participant 2 (TC1.3 - Moving to childhood). I sometimes feel like, ah, I'm being taken care of, it's one, like, er, very guarded." - Participant 2 (TAh1.2 - Moving to adulthood). But, umm, I guess what you're not allowed to do makes me even more eager to do it, hehehe, you know." - Participant 3 (TC2.1 - Moving against in childhood).
Ibuku bilang kalau dulu aku sangat patuh pada pembantuku (..) Iya benar, aku sangat tidak suka konflik yang berlarut-larut, aku selalu ada (..) Aku berinisiatif untuk mengerjakan sesuatu terlebih dahulu , itu pasti." - Peserta 2 (TC1.3 - Menuju masa kanak-kanak).
Partisipan 3 kecil menghayati dunianya sebagai tempat yang tidak bersahabat, bahkan dapat
The tendency toward neuroticism in Participant 3's childhood is categorized as an aggressive type of neuroticism. As Participant 3 entered adolescence, Participant 3 still maintained the aggressive type of neurotic tendency and even began to enjoy the benefits of their romantic partner. As time progressed, Participant 3's neurotic needs for gaining recognition from the environment and empowering other individuals began to increase, and even their need to be admired by others also increased, and therefore Participant 3 showed a consistent tendency towards an aggressive type neurotic tendency.
From a young age we were actually really spoiled, yes, really despised, we weren't allowed to do this or that.
During childhood, Participant 4 still depended on their parents even though they felt that their
Seiring berjalannya waktu, kebutuhan Partisipan 4 akan kasih sayang, ketergantungan, dan menolong orang lain semakin kuat, sehingga Partisipan 4 merasa cemas jika tidak ditemani oleh individu lain dan sangat takut ditinggalkan oleh individu lain, sehingga pada masa dewasa awal, Partisipan 4 menunjukkan kecenderungan yang konsisten menuju kecenderungan neurotik tipe Compliant. Iya, akhirnya aku lewat sendiri, aku belikan apa yang dia (ayah) minta (..) Hukumannya aku disuruh lebih sering masuk ke gudang (..) Ayahku bertekad, tapi yang aku minta hanyalah pernah menolak, aku pasti setuju tentang (..) Eee, aku masih merasa butuh perhatian (..) Karena entah kenapa aku tidak mendapatkan kasih sayang orang tua (..)” - Peserta 4 (TC1.1 - Menuju masa kanak-kanak) . Seiring berjalannya waktu, kebutuhan Partisipan 4 akan kasih sayang, ketergantungan, dan menolong orang lain semakin kuat, sehingga Partisipan 4 merasa cemas jika tidak ditemani oleh individu lain dan sangat takut ditinggalkan oleh individu penting, sehingga pada masa dewasa awal ini Partisipan 4 tetap konsisten memiliki kecenderungan ke arah kecenderungan neurotik yang kompatibel.
I'm really spoiled because when it comes to being emotional with a boyfriend or someone else, I'm so spoiled, I need to be loved.” - Participant 4 (TAh1.1 - Movement towards childhood).
As a child, Participant 1 felt that they could not fight against their environment, so Participant
When my mother gave birth to my little brother, I was angry, I stayed at my grandmother's house and did not want to go home, now I often fight with my little brother (..) My mother only brought my little brother food, never for me ( ..) So when I was in high school I just made friends with a lot of people like that, because I already started to understand Indonesian (..) I need someone who is really with me 24/7, who I trust and who can listen to my stories. Both have one aspect in common, i.e., both have domineering mother figures who took out their anger on them. A graph of the dynamics of the neurotic tendency of the aggressive type of participant 1 and participant 3 is available in figure 5.
Saat usia kanak-kanak, Partisipan 1 merasa belum memiliki kemampuan untuk melawan
The aggressive type dynamics of Participant 1 and Participant 3 were related to emotional abuse in dating relationships. Restrictive engulfment (mengontrol pakaian . pasangan, menuntut waktu bersama pasangan, dll.), Denigration (memaki .. pasangan, menuduh pasangan, dll.), Hostile. For example, if you want to continue, you know what the consequences are, I can remain silent or normal or whatever. - Participant 1 (EAP1.3 - Hostile withdrawal due to need for power).
Eee, I just hit the wall next to her.' - Participant 1 (EAP1.4 - Dominance/intimidation due to need for power).
Partisipan 3 memiliki kecenderungan melawan pihak yang membuatnya merasa terancam
In addition to reporting the experience of emotional abuse towards their partner, both Participant 1 and Participant 3 also stated that their partner also committed various forms of emotional abuse at certain times, but not all of these forms were interpreted by Participant 1 and Participant 3. as emotional abuse.
Based on the interview results, it was identified that Participant 1 experienced emotional abuse
During childhood, Participant 2 was in a situation where their parents did not provide safety
Dapat dilihat bahwa saat usia kanak- kanak, Partisipan 2 berada pada situasi ketika orangtuanya
Participant 2's need for affection and acceptance (affection and approval), their need to depend on their partner (powerful partner) and to pander to others (limiting their life) caused Participant 2 to experience restrictive entrapment (being controlled by their partner in terms of appearance and decision-making, limited social interaction, monitoring, need to spend more time together), denigration (partner curses, partner accuses), hostile withdrawal (couple refuses to communicate and meet) and dominance/bullying (threats related to ending the relationship, bullying by the partner, the partner throws things, the partner threatens to hurt himself). Participant 2 accepted this behavior and Participant 2 still remained in the relationship as they did not want to lose the love and comfort of their partner as they believed that some of the control their partner exerted could make them better as a person and felt that they you don't mind giving in to your partner. She is very worried about me and really pays attention to me, sometimes I feel like aah, they worry about me.” - Participant 2 (NN2.1 - Neurotic needs for affection).
Sementara itu, Partisipan 4 di masa kecil seringkali berada pada situasi ketika orangtuanya,
At the age of eight, the family's economic condition declined, and both parents began to show indifference and did not meet Participant 4's material needs as they used to. The tendency towards compliant type of neurotic tendency continued into their adolescence and Participant 4 found a new figure they could rely on (besides their uncle), namely their best friend and life partner. This behavior was accepted by Participant 4 and Participant 4 still remained in the relationship as they did not want to lose the love and comfort of their partner.
Furthermore, Participant 4 felt that they did not mind acknowledging their partner as a form of gratitude because (according to Participant 4) “a man as big as their partner chose a simple woman like Participant 4”.
In addition to sharing experiences of emotional abuse they received from their partners, Participant 2 and Participant 4 also shared that they sometimes experienced multiple forms of emotional abuse from their partners.
Based on the dynamics of neurotic trends in emotional abuse in dating relationships, the authors propose a framework to illustrate the results of the study in general. For individuals who are victims of emotional abuse, the internal conflict is a sense of helplessness, so their needs are central to dependence and prioritization of other parties. This directs individuals with an indulgent neurotic tendency to be prone to accepting emotional abuse.
However, at certain times, people who are predominantly of the aggressive type of neurotic tendency may also be the recipients of emotional abuse because they may be less dependent on or needing other people.
Discussion
Diskusi
Lebih lanjut, ditemukan bahwa konflik dapat mencakup beberapa aspek kekerasan emosional dalam hubungan pacaran. Setiap kecenderungan neurotik didasarkan pada kebutuhan neurotik tertentu yang mempengaruhi sikap individu terhadap pasangannya dalam konteks kekerasan emosional dalam hubungan pacaran. Partisipan yang mengalami kekerasan emosional dalam hubungan pacaran mempunyai gaya kelekatan yang tidak aman (adult insecure attachment).
Dengan kecenderungan neurotik partisipan, dinamika kecenderungan neurotik tersebut juga dieksplorasi dalam konteks kekerasan emosional dalam hubungan kencan sebenarnya.
The next suggestion concerns the role of sex or gender in the phenomenon of violence in dating relationships. Further researchers may also investigate aspects of emotional abuse in individuals who are in relationships other than heterosexual relationships, to see if sex or gender factors influence the relationship. dynamics between perpetrators and victims of abuse in the relationship. The personality basis of aggression: The mediating role of anger and the moderating role of emotional intelligence. Dating violence victimization, relationship satisfaction, mental health problems, and acceptability of violence: A comparison of men and women.
Childhood emotional abuse and attachment anxiety in adult romantic relationships as predictors of personality disorders.
