Juli 2022
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The Principle Muˊāsyarah Bil Maˊrūf;(Between Strengthening the Economy and Eliminating Domestic Violence)
Sahudinnor¹*), Khabib Musthofa²,¹Postgraduate IAIN Palangka Raya, Palangka Raya, Indonesia, email:
2 Universitas Muhammadiyah Banjarmasin, Banjarmasin, Indonesia, email:
[email protected] ABSTRACT
This paper discusses a crucial idea in muasyarah bil maruf in marriage. The muasyarah bil maruf principle is crucial, particularly in light of the numerous issues surrounding divorce, such as domestic abuse and circumstances affecting the family's financial situation. Knowing the bil maruf debate teaches you how to get along with your partner starting with behaviors, attitudes, and financial responsibility. Everyone in the family needs to be aware of this principle. Because understanding the rights and obligations of both parties is necessary to create the ideal family model, one of which is the muasyarah bilmaruf principle.
Keywords: Muasyarah bilmaruf, Economic Strengthening, Domestic Violence
INTRODUCTION
Divorce is a detested and despised act. Thus, according to Ali Hussain Muhammad Makki al-Malli, a divorce is a catastrophe in one's life since it causes the bliss that marriage was supposed to bring about to vanish. starting with the separation of the husband and wife, mental upheaval, family disintegration, children who become victims, and even becoming the target of ridicule. This makes it clear that divorce is a serious injustice1
When you read the CATAHU 2022 data to record the dynamics of direct complaints to Komnas Perempuan, service agencies, and Badilag, the statement above is undoubtedly not good. A total of 338,496 cases of gender-based violence (KBG) against women were compiled, including 3,838 complaints to Komnas Perempuan, 7,029 cases to service organizations, and 327,629 cases to BADILAG. These numbers show a notable 50% increase in KBG for women, with 338,496 cases in 2021. (from 226,062 cases in 2020). 327,629 more instances, or a 52% spike, were recorded in BADILAG data (from 215,694 in 2020).
(komnasperempuan.go.id, 2022)2
1 Ali Husain Muhammad Makki al-Milli,Perceraian Salah Siapa: Bimbingan Islam dalam Mengatasi Problematika Rumah Tangga, Jakarta: Lentera Basritama, 2001, h. 14.
2 Komnas Perempuan, https://komnasperempuan.go.id/kabar-perempuan- detail/peluncuran-catahu-komnas-perempuan-2022, diakses Juli 2022.
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Additionally, economic issues are another one that frequently contributes to the breakup of household pairs. In 2021, the marriage phenomena will be shown in a hazy manner as it continues to be influenced by economic and ongoing conflict. "Most of it is triggered by issues of disagreements or quarrels as well as economic concerns," the Lamongan Religious Court stated. It is anticipated that there will be 45 owing to one of the parties leaving in 2021, 416 due to the economy, and 526 due to disputes. And the rest is brought on by other things like adultery, domestic abuse, intoxication, polygamy, and so forth.” (pa-lamongan.go.id, 2022)3Observing this situation, despite the fact that Islam holds that a family should be established on the principles of sincerity and dedication, as marriage is a sacred and important connection. This idea clarifies that mitsaqan ghaliza is a serious commitment.
Because it will have effects on the inner and outward day, the world, and the afterlife, it is a holy pledge and a sacred link not just between the individuals concerned but also between them and Allah SWT. One promise: al-muasyarah bil'maruf, or getting along well stands out during the marriage contract. According to Imam Asy-Shafii in his Tafsir, the phrase "having good intercourse" refers to both the husband's and wife's obligations to fulfill each other's rights, such as providing for the wife's needs in terms of food and clothing.4 This is the basis for the formation of a good family. All of us undoubtedly anticipate the development of a family structure similar to this; the family structure will be realized if both parties are aware of their respective legal and moral obligations. 5
The relevance of understanding muasyarah bil-maruf as a whole can be recognized by looking at the facts and stories presented above. In order to set the groundwork for a peaceful family, these concepts are serious and not at all lighthearted. In an article with the headline "The Author's Message," the author will convey this “THE PRINCIPLE MUˊĀSYARAH BIL MAˊRŪF (Between Strengthening the Economy and Eliminating Domestic Violence)
METODE
This type of research was a literature A literature study and it employed a qualitative methodology and a descriptive stance. This method was utilized to be able to explain the muasyarah bil maruf principle as a principle that must be followed in marriage
3 PA Lamongan, https://pa-lamongan.go.id/Faktor-Ekonomi-dan-Percekcokan-Dominasi- Tingginya-Kasus-Perceraian-di-Lamongan, diakses Juli 2022
4 Syaikh Ahmad Musthafa Al-Farran, Tafsir Imam Syafii, Jakarta Timur: Almahira, 2008, h.
73
5 Hasyim Musyadi,Radialisme Hancurkan Islam, Jakarta: Center for Moderat, 2005., h. 27.
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and attempted to both strengthen and eradicate violence in the family. This study applied a qualitative method with a descriptive approach. This approach was used to be able to describe the principle of muasyarahbil maruf as a principle that must be adhered to in marriage and efforted to strengthen the family as well as to eliminate violence in it.RESULTS AND DISCUSSION
Understanding the Principle of Muasyarah bil Maruf in Marriage
Muasyarah refers to sexual activity, but al-ma'ruf is something that a good character enjoys and is not condemned by religion.6 Therefore, it may be said that almuayarah bilma'ruf is living harmoniously in a family, and this is something that is frequently expressed in marriage contracts and made verbally as a pledge. Mu'asyarah refers to a partnership or affiliation. The significance is present in the QS An-Nisa verse 19:
... وَعَاش َرُوهُن ُش وُِلش َرعُُۡعف ُِۚ عُإُن وَعَاشََُُ عا ُرَُّ وَعََُُُۡن عُن وَكشَا ُر عَُُّ وعيُوك ٗ ٗ وُيُۡ ععُل ُش وَلَهفُ وُللُن ك رعلُا ك رلُرَُّ ...
... and appropriately interact with them. If you don't like them, then wait because you could not like anything even if Allah made a lot of good out of it. (Surat an-Nisa; 19)
In Tafsir Fathul Qadr, Imam Ash-Syaukani says that "(and associate them properly),"
i.e. good treatment acknowledged in the Shari'a and religious believers Being patient is advised if you don't like someone for a reason other than a terrible crime because it's possible that the situation may change to one you like and the disliked item will vanish, turning the situation into a love. The greatest benefit of persevering and maintaining the household in this situation is the birth of a child who can later calm the heart, despite the fact that Allah made him a lot of good.7
According to the above, the order of mu'asyarah bil-ma'ruf is directed to the wife whether or not she is loved in the theme interpretation of the work of the Ministry of Religion of the Republic of Indonesia. As a result, according to what at-Thabari said, the mu'asyarah bil-ma'ruf in principle is to have excellent character to him and carry it out in accordance with religious guidance and what applies in his community, namely by granting his rights.8 The verse instructs them to talk politely to them and to treat them with kindness in all of your deeds and appearances, to the best of your ability. Do the same thing with them
6Az-Zuhaili, Wahbah, Tafsir al-Munir: Aqidah, Syariah, Manhaj,Jakarta: GEMA INSANI, 2013.
8Tim Penyusun, Tafsir Tematik: Etika Bekeluarga, Bermasyarakat, dan Berpelotik, Jakarta:
Lajnah Pentasih Mushaf al-Qur’an, 2009, h. 71.
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as you would like to get from them. "The best of you are those who do the most for their families, and I am the one who performs the most good for my family," declared prophet Muhammad SAW.9(Al-Sheikh, 2003: 260)The Principle of Mu'asyarah bil-Ma'ruf as Economic Strengthening and Elimination of Household Violence
Islam, in general, condemns any actions that will cause harm to another person or themselves. From a conceptual standpoint, the world's kindness is the prophet Muhammad SAW's primary goal. Of course, any form of violence is detrimental to this aim. This idea of kindness serves as the cornerstone for addressing Islamic law and establishing morality in interpersonal interactions, including those in household settings.10
The restriction against causing harm and injury extends more than only one's attitude; it also affects the financial well-being of the family. In reality, Imam Asyafii sees the statement of excellent intercourse as a wife's right that must be satisfied by the husband in a variety of ways, such as regarding clothing and food, as well as the husband's right that must be completed by the wife.11 This indicates that lessons about attitudes and behavior as well as about the family's financial situation can be learned from the duty of muasyarah bil marruf.
Good deeds and proper doubtful relations between the husband and wife are required to strengthen family ties. This has a lot in common with the idea of creating a sakinah, mawaddah, and warohmah. This correct association is referred to as muasyarah bil ma’ruf. This can be the foundation for ending domestic abuse through bilmar'uf consideration.
The term "asyiru," which in Arabic grammatical science comes after the word
"wazan fa'ala," which means "involvement of both sides," is used in the Qur'an's An-Nisa verse 19 to refer to the husband and wife's affiliation based on mutual understanding.
Additionally, this commandment contains fi'il amr, which signifies that getting along well with others is required.
9Abdullah bin Muhammad bin Abdurrahman bin Ishaq Al-Sheikh, Tafsir Ibnu Katsir, Jilid 2, Bogor: Pustaka Imam Syafii, 2003, h. 280
10 Lisnawati, “Menghapus Kekerasan dalam Rumah Tangga: Mewujudkan Keluarga Sakinah,
Mawaddah, dan Rahmah Berbasis Kesetaraan Jender”, Procedding st 1 BUAF, 2016.
11Al-Farran, Syaikh Ahmad Musthafa, Tafsir Imam Syafii, Jakarta Timur: Almahira, 2008, h.
73.
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Being courteous to partners is also part of good treatment. 12 The Word of Allah SWT.: فورعملابنهورشاعو "and associate with them ma'ruf that is what Allah has commanded to do well. This is presented to everyone, but the husband is the subject of this passage.Asyiruhu muasyarah and ta'asyara al qaum and i'tasyarahu, As a result, Allah SWT commanded that you should treat your wife well. If you become close with them, this leads to pleasant associations that might bring you peace of mind and a lovely existence. 13
The written word of Allah SWT: فورعملاب نهورشاعو some academics interpret it as a directive to treat his wife well whether he loves her or not. They understand the word to mean being considerate of him, not bothering him, and even doing ihsan. According to Asy- Sya'rawi, "the foregoing instruction is meant at husbands who no longer love their wives.
He makes a distinction between ma'ruf and mawaddah. While Ma'ruf does not have to be that way, Mawaddah does good to him, feels delighted to be with him, and rejoices in his company. Ma'ruf does not necessitate it with love, whereas mawaddah must be based on love.”14
M. Qraish Shihab (2012:426) affirms that Asy-earlier Sya'rawi's assertion is accurate. Even mawaddah between a husband and wife is supposed to exist, not just in the sense of love but also in addition to love. According to Asy-Sya'rawi, who is quoted above, he interprets ma'ruf in order to prevent domestic life from disintegrating just because a husband and wife no longer feel in love with one another. Love may be gone, but ma'ruf is still in command. Even Umar Ibn al-Khatab condemned a man who sought to divorce his wife because she was no longer in love, asking: "Is the family simply based on love? So where are the high values, if so? Where is the upkeep, where is the confidence you are given?
Shihab (2012): 462 Prof. Dr. Quraish Shihab continued by saying, "It's possible you don't like something, even though Allah made it very good. Making goodness, according to this verse's understanding, encompasses everything, even partners who are unpopular.15
For a number of reasons, the muasyarah bilmar'uf principle is crucial to the development of a strong and wealthy Indonesian family. Then, from According to the
12 Tim Penyusun, Tafsir Tematik: Etika Bekeluarga, Bermasyarakat, dan Berpelotik, Jakarta:
Lajnah Pentasih Mushaf al-Qur’an, 2009.
13 Al Qurthubi, Syaikh Imam, Tafsir Al Qurthubi, Perj. Ahmad Rijali Kadir, Jakarta: Pustaka Azza, 2008, h. 230.
14Quraish Shihab, Tafsir Al-Misbah: Pesan, Kesan, dan Keserasian al- Qur’an, Tenggerang:
Lentera Hati, 2012.
15Shihab, M. Quraish, Al-Lubab: Makna, Tujuan, Pelajaran dari Surah-surah al-Qur’an, Tenggerang: Lentera Hati, 2012.h. 463
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Prophet SAW, husband and wife must act in their relationship's best interests and defend each other physically and psychologically from numerous threats both inside and outside the house:ل نِسَاَِهِمَْ نِسَا َُهِم َْ سَا َُهِم َْ
" The best disposition is best toward their (own) women. HR Tirmidhi, that is, a husband and wife must be attentive to one another, always consider one another's feelings, pay closer attention, and make one another happy.From an economic perspective, it is also clear that the husband, as the head of the household, must provide for his family adequately. The husband should take this responsibility seriously. Allah (SWT) stated:
ۚ...
ۚ ...
ىَلَعَو ٱ ل وَم
ِدوُل ُهَل زِر ۥ َ نُهُق سِكَو َ نُهُتَو ِبٱ ل عَم ِفوُر اَل ُفَ لَكُت فَن س اَ
لِإ سُو اَهَع ...
“….And the father has a responsibility to properly dress and feed the mothers. Unburdened but with consideration for their level of abilities …."
In addition, one of the purposes of families, as defined by Prof. Musdah Mulia, is to safeguard each member from psychological, financial, and bodily harm. Each participant is able to safeguard one another, cooperate with one another, and refrain from any violent behavior thanks to the protection feature (Mulia, 2011: 60)16. From this, it can be seen that knowing the musharah bil maruf in marriage is a responsibility and that the couple will genuinely look out for one another, try to refrain from acting violently, and put up their best efforts to shield one another from financial hardship.
The author concludes by assuming that muasyarah bilmar'uf is a good practice that must be adhered to in marital life. To have a harmonious family, both of these people need to have this kind of thinking, and both parties need to put forth effort. Additionally, both partners must make every effort to keep the family intact in order to strengthen it, whether they are still in love or not. When a relationship breaks down due to lack of communication between the couples, love will eventually rekindle as it matures, maintaining the nearly lost domestic harmony and ending domestic violence.
CONCLUSION
The muasyarah bilmaruf principle is crucial to reviving the meaning and values in it in the midst of the expansion of divorce trends, whether they are brought on by arguments, domestic abuse, or economic considerations. Recognize the bilmaruf consideration principle before choosing a mate. Muasyarah bilmar'uf is a healthy husband-wife connection; with muasyarah bil ma'rf, a husband will develop into a leader with a sense of
16 Siti Musdah Mulia, Membangun Surga di Bumi: Kiat-kiat Membina Keluarga Ideal dalam Islam, Jakarta: PT. Elex Media Komputindo, 2011, h. 60
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duty to defend his family. He will also be aware of his own commitments and those of his wife, children, and himself.REFERENCES
Abdullah bin Muhammad bin Abdurrahman bin Ishaq Al-Sheikh, Tafsir Ibnu Katsir, Jilid 2, Bogor: Pustaka Imam Syafii, 2003
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Az-Zuhaili, Wahbah, Tafsir al-Munir: Aqidah, Syariah, Manhaj,Jakarta: GEMA INSANI, 2013.
Lisnawati, “Menghapus Kekerasan dalam Rumah Tangga: Mewujudkan Keluarga Sakinah, Mawaddah, dan Rahmah Berbasis Kesetaraan Jender”, Procedding st 1 BUAF, 2016.
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.Mulia, Siti Musdah, Membangun Surga di Bumi: Kiat-kiat Membina Keluarga Ideal dalam Islam, Jakarta: PT. Elex Media Komputindo, 2011.
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Lajnah Pentasih Mushaf al-Qur’an, 2009.
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