r
THIS WEEK
D e c. 1 2 ,1 9 8 8
V0I.18, No. 19
Tuition certificates could beat
• < .
rising costs o f future education
By D A V E C L A R K
Indiana University and area bank officials held a press con
ference at the IU School o f Nurs
ing studios Tuesday afternoon to announce a guaranteed tuition program that one official called,
“the first of its kind in the coun
try,"
The certificate program will of
fer tuition certificates for credit- hours rather than tuition fees and will be good beginning in the 1990-91 academic year.
IU President Thomas Ehrlich said that the program was in
tended to show that university officials wanted to be sure that those who wanted “an education can afford one."
Joining President Ehrlich at the press conference, broadcast to all eight IU campuses, were IU Vice President for Finance and Administration John Hack- ett, and executives from Bank One Indianapolis, Indiana Na
tional Bank and Merchants Bank and Trust Company.
Unctar the newly developed program, approved by the Board of Trustees, certificates for Indi
ana University will be sold in 15 credit-hour increment* for
$1,000, which will be “good for
Guaranteed Tuition Certificates, such as the one pictured above, will be accepted toward tuition at any Indiana Uifyersity campus for the next 20 years, from 1990 to 2010. _____________________
up to 20 years in the future,"
Ehrlich said.
The certificate's price, accord
ing to a written statement released prior to the press con
ference, “incTfides a 6 percent administrative fee to cover t^ie cost o f administering the pro
gram and the bank trustee fees.”
Purchasers, after reserving the initial $1,000/15 credit-hour certificate, can also purchase ad
ditional credit hours at the rate of $200 per three credit hours.
While a number o f states and universities around the country offer various guaranteed tuition programs, Vice President Hack- ett said that IU ’s program had a number of unique qualities.
“With this program," Hackett said, “you know you've acquired the credit hours needed,” be
cause buyers will be purchasing credit-hours o f instruction rath- See CERTIFICATE, Page 4
Used books best buy for spring semester
By DAVE C L A R K
Students buying textbooks for the upcoming spring semester should t T y to pur
chase used books, Harry Vogel, assistant director of Retail Operations for the book
stores, said.
Textbooks for the spring semester go on sale today at all bookstores.
“Try to buy the used books first,” Vogel said, “it* makes book fees fairly reasonable.”
The advantage of buying a used versus new textbook is because of the bookstores’ re
purchase policy.
“We pay 50 percent of the new price, even if the book was already used at the beginning of the fall semester," he said.
Buying used books offers stu
dents the chance for sig
nificant savings in textbook costs. For example, Vogel said, if a new book cost $40 dollars then its re-purchase value at the bookstore would be $20, 50 percent of its original value. At the same time, a used version o f the same textbook which might cost $25 dollars would have a buy-back value of $20.
^*The- actual cost of the used textbook would be $5, rather than the net $20 cost for the new book.
Vogel cautioned that stu
dents should try to bring their books in as early in the week ns possible. “ If we hove all we need, or if the book is not going to be used in the upcom
ing semester,” he said, “then we only pay the~^holesale price,” which is 20 to 30 per
cent, he added.
During final exams week bookstores at three locations will have the following hours for textbook,buyback:
Cavanaugh Hall: Monday - Thursday, 9 a.m. to 8 p.m.;
Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.; and Saturday from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.
Krannert Science Building bookstore: Wednesday and Thursday only from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m . £
IU PU I Columbus: Thursday only, from 10 a.m. to 7:30 p.m.
After Saturday, the book
stores will buy back textbooks, but only at the lower wholesale price.
Rudolph has nothing on this reindeer decoration outside the University Hospital front entrance. A lo n g with similar cheerful holiday scenes around the main campus, this bright ornament offers some diversion from the
more serious activities inside. P h o to by C IN D Y V A R E Y
THE WEEKLY NEWSPAPER OF INDIANA UNIVERSITY-PURDUE UNIVERSITY AT
T ame and fo rtu n e : W rite th e llJ P l I fig h t song and w in $$$.See Page 17
i
Trade show group - to link with school
B y J E F F R E Y D eH E R D T Indianapolis may desire to be
“sports capital of the world" but may become trade show and ex
position capital o f the world in the process.
Mayor William H. Hudnut an
nounced on Nov. 30 that the Na
tional Association of Exposition Managers (NAEM ), whose mem
bers operate more than 5,000 trade shows and expositions a year, will relocate in , In
dianapolis. The relocation, offi
cials at^the mayor’s office said, will bring roughly $30 billion in business to the city.
“One of the main reasons th^y came to Indy was because o f the education opportunities at IU PU I," said Bill McGowan, president of the Indianapolis Convention and Visitors Associ
ation.
In a written statement Don Walter, executive director of
NAEM, explained that NAEM
“plans to establish a cooperative relationship with IU PU I which would eventually allow the As
sociation and the University’s School o f Business, Division of Restaurant and Hotel Manage
ment and Division o f Continuing Studies to present joint cur
riculum offerings.”
“The NAEM may help provide training courses in the execution and planning of trade shows and expositions" said Mark J. G off of the Mayor’s office.
Training, McGowan added, could help to familiarize stu
dents with the expositions and trade show industry, which he said is a largely unknown aspect of business and advertisement in today's world. “Those that market through r^|j(£g0verti£:
ing and .newspaper advertising also canSnarket through trade See NAEM, Page 3
P a g e 2 T h e S A G A M O R E Dec. 12, 1988
I
J
1
The same by any other name?
A proposal has been made to change the name ot Agnes Street to University Boulevard, which might be more in Keeping with "the main campus artery nature of that busy thoroughfare,- according to a recent IUPUI News Bureau Greensheet. The news release added. atf you have any opinions one way or the other about this please jot them down and send them to Robert Martin, director of administrative affairs, A 0 112.-
,Y
Professor's poetry book proves popular locally
A second printing of the limited edition volume of poetry, “A Wind in the Heart, Poems for the Dead and the living,” by Louise Dauner, professor emeritus o f English at IUPUI, will be stocked on local bookstore shelves in time for the Christmas season. The 61 page book of poetry by Dauner will be made available begin
ning Dec. 12 at all college and university book
stores in Indianapolis and Bloomington, Bor
ders Bookstore at Castle ton and the Carmel Bookstore.
The former Department of English chairman at IUPUI decided to publish her lifelong collec
tion of poems this fall at the encouragement of friends, colleagues and former students. The in
itial limited edition offering in September sold out within weeks.
Next Sagamore out Jan. 9
The next issue of The Sagamore will be on newsstands Jan. 9, 1989. The deadline for clas
sified ads and notices is noon Thursday, Jan. 6.
Donald L. Tavel, music instructor and innovator, dies
Services for Donald L. Tavel, Indianapolis vice-president in charge of marketing for Dr.
David Tavel’s Premium Optical Co., and IU graduate who was regarded as a pioneer in com
puterized music and art, were Monday, Dec. 5 at Congregation Beth-El Zedek, 600 West 70th St.
Tavel died Dec. 3 in St. Vincent Hospital of in
juries from a Nov. 28 automobile accident.
Tavel was n popular faculty member at IUPUI who was teaching two courses in the IU School of Music at Indianapolis this semester.
An innovator who found uses for computers outside of their traditional technical uses, Tavel received a unique degree from Indiana Univer
sity in multi-media and in 1976 the first-ever master of music degree from the IU center for Electronic and Computer Music.
First experimenting with musical synthesizers in the mid-1970's, he introduced the instruments into the Indianapolis Public Schools, lecturing on their use and teaching col
lege graduate level courses in computer music techniques.
At one time, Tavel served on two faculties at once, founding a computer graphics and anima
tion department at IU and teaching courses in computer music at IUPUI.
Tavel held several patents on computer hardware and programs and was an early pioneer in a form of musical reproduction known as MIDI, Musical Instrument Digital In
terface, which allowed musical instruments to function with and through computers.
Donald L. Tavel
Tavel is survived by his wife, Tamara Tavel;
daughter, Alison C. Tavel; mother, Kit Tavel;
father, Dr. David Tavel; three brothers, Alan, Larry, and his twin, Ronald Tavel.
Memorial contributions may be made to the Donald L. Tavel Music Scholarship Fund, 2839 Lafayette Road, Indianapolis, IN, 46222.
C O R R E C TIO N :
In a story on Page 17 of last week’s issue, the name of Marika Kalyvas was misspelled. The Sagamore regrets the error.
ICPA
ICPA Division II NEWSPAPER OF THE YEAR
1985, 1986, 1987
* )Vi
SAG AM O RE
Editor In Chief Mick McGrath
Publisher Dennis Cnpe
B usiness Manager Terri Clodlelter Advertising Manager Grady Gunter S ports Editor Rick Morwick
Photo Editor O p in io n Editor A rts Editor N ew s Editor Asst. New s Editor
Paul Sutton Sherry Slater Richard Propes Dave Clark Jeff DeHerdt
Feature Editor Cindy Varey D esign Manager Brian Hendnckson P roduction Staff
Jenni Lydick. Kassa Bekele, Helen Thoele. Jerry Velasco. Mark Downing.
Jason Hendrickson The Sagamore >s an auxiliary enterprise of
IUPUI. published weeWy during trie regular veroo year The Sagamore s not an of teal publication of the university, and does not neces saMy reflect the views Of university administra
tors. (acuity and others
Ail Sagamore editors are requ>rod to be en roiled m at feast three IUPUI credit hours Staff are pad tnrougn adverts ng revanue. the pn- mary source of funding supporting the operation
of the newspaper The Sagamore provides an open torum lor the university community Read ers are invited to submit letters ot any length and on any tope, although preference w>« be given to those less than bOO words which are related to metiers ol interest to the M PUI community
Letters must memoa the writer's name, address and telephone number Letters must also be dated and s«ned by me writer lor venfcaoor purposes Addresses and telephone numbers
will not be published and Vie writer's name can be withheld upon request Anonymous letters cannot be printed Letters may be edited for clanty and brevity and the editor win reject tellers deemed potentially libelous, obscene, inflamma
tory or m poor taste Send led ers. prefer stry typed and double spaced to:
The Sagamore 425 N Agnes St. Rm. CA 001G
Indianapolis. IN 46202
N otices
NOTICES deadline is Thursday at noon
TODAY
Information on new employee health insurance will be available in Personnel Conference Room 372 o f the Union Building at 2 p.m.
For information call 274-6754.
TUESDAY
Fernando Escobar will address the topic of “Ths Fetal Alcohol Syndrome: A New Approach,” at 4 p.m. in RR138 as part of ths medical genetics seminar.
WEDNESDAY
Career and internship counseling is available on a walk-in basis in Cavanaugh 401 on Wednesdays from 10 to 11 a.m. For other times, coll 274-2554 for an appointment at the Office of Career and Employ
ment Services in Businesa/SPEA 2010.
e s s
The Executive Education department will sponsor a a peach on the "Public Management Institute and the Power of Effective Listen
ing in Management* at 9 a.m. in Businesa/SPEA 4095.
e s s
"Effects of RAS Oncogene Expression on Neoplastic Hematopoi
etic Cell Proliferation" will be the topic o f a lecture by H. Scott Boswell at 2:30 p.m. in Riley 4150.
ADDENDUM
Deadline for submissions for the Spring 1989 issue of "genesis"
is Feb. 3,1989 at 5 p.m. Submissions should be sent to the Student Activities Office located in the basement of the University Library.
Blondie’s Gift Ideas
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PARTY TR A Y S G IFT BOXES
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I.U.P.U.I University Foodcourt 3 1 7 - 6 3 7 - 3 5 3 4
P la ce y o u r o rd e rs n o w fo r th e h o lid a ys
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Dec. 12, 1988
NEWS
United Way nears goal
B y M A R IE CICVHELEWSKI The dollars keep adding up as the 1988 United Way campaign heads for the final stretch and its Dec. 15, $190,000 goal.
The goal is not beyond reach, said Michael k Cozmanoff, IUPUTs bursar and United Way campus campaign cch ' chairperson . “W e’re not far from (the goal)," he said. T d like to say yes, w ell reach the goal *
This year’s campaign was ex
tended in order to give everyone the opportunity to contribute.
As o f Friday the campaign had reached 95 percent o f this year’s goal, Cozmanoff said, well above the 1987 total of $162,827.
Students have contributed about .34 percent of the total so far, an increase in student con
tributions from last year. 'Die majority o f the pledges have come from university faculty and staff. v
In addition to individual dona
tions, some money has been raised by different organized ac
tivities. Parker Brothers compa
ny, promoters of the pame
“Dare,” organized a campus Dare Night. The game chal
lenges people to do silly things.
About 80 students turned out for
the event. ,
It is activities like Dare'Night that Cozmanoff hopes to pro
mote for next year’s campaign in order to increase activity and
N A E M •
Continued from Page 1 shows,” he adtfcd.
T h e s e are the people that plan large expositions and trade shows across the country and in
ternationally,” said McGowan.
The central headquarters for NAEM is now located in Aurora, Ohio, and currently has ten em
ployees and 2,700 members.
NAEM will hire four additional employees when they move to Indianapolis in August o f 1989.
The association will not be ac
tive directly with the university or the city until the move is com
plete. T h e y won’t do anything until they move here,” said McGowan, although Goff said that the association may take part in a few shows that take place between now and the move.
Working with the Indianapolis Convention and Visitors Associ
ation and the Indiana Conven
tion Center and Hoosier Dome for the past six months, the NAEM came to the conclusion that Indianapolis would be the best location for the move be
cause facilities such as Q e Hoosier Dome, the Convention Center and IU PU I are in close proximity.
McGowan said that the associ
ation was also attracted by “the growth around the (downtown) canal area and the higher growth in the northwest part of the city."#
P a g e 3
Drug testing suit may avert court
Despite winter's arrival the United Way mercury, in front of the main campus library, mimics hot summer temperatures as it nears the 100%
mark.
Photo by PAUL SUTTON pledges from students.
T h e key is spending a little more in the way o f effort to edu
cate,” he said.
It’s not too late, Cozmanoff said, for students to contribute to the campaign. The bursar’s office has pledge cards available and will accept personal checks as payment.
By D AVE C L A R K
“friendly” lawsuit over mandatory d ru g^ festin g of IU PU I athletes filed in 1987 by the Indiana Civil Liberties Union (IC LU ) against Indiana University is not expected to go before a judge, the legal director of the Indiana Civil Liberties Union (IC LU ) said.
“It will be dismissed,” said Richard Waples, legal director of the ICLU, “it’s just a matter of time.”
University officials had been hoping that the suit would come to trial because they “ wanted a resolution” concerning the drug testing policy, said Bob Lovell, athletic director and men’s bas
ketball coach.
^ After all the work that every
one has put into it,” Lovell said,
“it would be kind of frustrating to let it drop now.”
Stanley D. Miller, an IU PU I student and member o f the Metro soccer team at the time the suit was filed, filed a com
plaint ' with the ICLU asking that university officials not be flo w e d to require student athletes to submit to urinalysis in order to maintain their athletic eligibility.
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— Richard Waples gal Director, IC L U
Miller argued that rmmdatory drug testiflg would violate his Fourth and Fifth Amendment rights against unwarranted search and seizure and self
incrimination.
Before the case could go to tri
al Miller voluntarily quit the soccer team. He cited a conflict in work and practice schedules and an increased class schedule as his reasons.
The suit had been scheduled to go to trial Aug. 22, but was put on hold after Miller “lost his standing.”
Faced with a dismissal of the case the ICLU asked for and received an extension on the tri
al date. %
Waples said that the ICLU can not take the case to court unless some other student steps for
ward.
Without another plaintiff; he concluded, there is little
likelihood that the case will go to trial.
The only reason the case hasn’t been dismissed yet is be
cause “the federal judge hasn’t done anything yet because the court (dockets) are so crowded,"
said Waples.
In the meantime, the univer
sity has decided to suspend the drug testing program “until the case is adjudicated,” Lovell said.
IU PU I Chancellor Gerald
#Bepko, in an Oct. 26, 1987 arti
cle in The Sagamore, said there was ho animosity between the ICLU and the university be
cause of the lawsuit. “It’s a fair
ly friendly lawsuit,” Bepko said.
“ Indeed, a couple of the lawyers for ICLU are my former stu
dents.” Bepko was dean of the I.U. School of Law at In
dianapolis before becoming chancellor.
Despite the desire of both parties to obtain a legal deci
sion, with Miller’s withdrawal from the case and no other stu
dent apparently disagreeing with the university’s policy it seems likely that the lawsuit’s question - is mandatory drug testing o f student athletes con-—^
stitutional • will remain un
answered.
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Page 4 / NEWS The SAGAM ORE Dec. 12. 1988
Certificate value will increase in future
Continued from Page 1
er than dollar-amounts o f educa
tion.
A second feature o f the pro
gram, stressed by both Ehrlich and Hackett, was the so-called secondary market feature o f the certificates.
“ I f one decides not to go to In
diana University,* Ehrlich said,
“then this individual may sell (the certificates) to a secondary market.”
W ith the certificates linked to a present resident credit-hour fee o f about $66, certificates pur
chased now will have a greater value at a later date, Hackett said.
To ensure that the certificate's value increases over time, “ a maximum of 450,000 credit- hours over five four year periods will be sold,” Hackett said. The figure represents, he added, about “20 percent o f the ex
pected total credit hours in the (upcoming) 20-year period.”
With tuition costs expected to continue to rise in the future, Hackett said “as tuition costs in crease, the value o f the certifi
cates increases.” In the past decade, tuition costs have in
creased 116 percent, and i f they continue to increase at that rate tuition could reach “ $136 per credit hour for in state stu
dents,” the press release stated.
Cornered by a trio of university cameras and local media representa
tives. IU President Thomas Ehrlich responds to questions about the tuition certificate program. Photo by P A U L S U T T O N A third aspect o f the plan is
that certificates might receive an exemption from capital gains taxes. Hackett said that there is
“a possibility o f legislation to ex
empt them” from the taxes.
That possible tax benefit coupled with no upper lim it on the number o f certificates that can be purchased, and the likelihood o f a certificate's value increasing beyond it's original purchnse price could lead to speculation, driving the secondary market price higher.
Despite that, Hackett doss not believe that those wishing to purchase the certificates will
have any problem.
Although the certificates can be used by out-of-state students, they would not have a 15 credit hour value in that case. The stu
dent will be required to pay the difference between the in-state and out-of-state costs when they present the certificates.
Responding to a question from a listener at Indiana-Purdue at Fort Wayne, the only campus in the eight campus IU system that is administered by Purdue, Ehrlich said the certificates would be good at “any Indiana University campus
Times of the season
While students rest and prepare for the upcoming semester most o f the univer
sity’s administrative offices will be open for business-os-usual during the holiday break.
Following are the hours for each office from Dec. 19, through Jan. 9:
Registrar’s office: Open Dec.
19-23, 26-29 and Jan. 3-6 - 8 a.m. - 5 p.m. and closed on Dec.
24, 25, and Jan. 2.
Bursar’s office: Open Dec. 19- 22, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Dec. 23, from 10:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m..
The Bursar’s office will be closed D ec. 26, 30 and Jan. 2.
Financial Aid: Open Dec. 19- 22, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Dec. 23, 8 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. (noon); and closed on Dec. 24,25 and Jan. 2.
The Admission's office will be open from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Dec.
19-22, 27 30 and will be closed Dec. 23-26, and Jan. 2.
All offices will be maintain normal hours, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.
beginning again Jan. 3.
Attention Cartoonists
The Sagam ore is currently accepting submissions for single and multi-panel car
toons. Cartoonists will b e . paid for each work pub
lished.
Bring cartoons to the Sa
gamore office. Room 001G.
in the basement of Cava
naugh Hall, 425 N. Agnes St., Indianapolis. IN 46202 or mail to the above ad
dress, to the attention of the Design Manager.
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Dec. 12, 1988 The SAGAM ORE NEWS / PaceS
University cautious about new machines
By JEFFREY DaHERDT In addition to tha 11 condom machinaa placed by Planned Parenthood in two o f tha r e s dance halla at IU PU I, ad
ministrators were considering installing more o f tha machines in campus buildings.
IU P U I has reportedly post
poned negotiations on the new condom machines until this summer, according to Judaon Johnson, distributor o f the ma
chines for Planned Parenthood o f Indianapolis.
"A s I understand, the ma
chines in Ball Residence are going to stay in place, but the machines will atay purely in tha residential dorms,” said Johnson.
*1 think what tha general con
sensus is, is that the Board o f Trustees are waiting to see what kind o f backlash they will get (because o f the machines),” said Johnson.
Johnson also said that the ad
ministrators are trying to be sensitive to tha concerns o f parents and students. “ They’re waiting to see i f there will be a public outcry, i f any,” Johnson stated.
Johnson said ha believes the university may fear aome reac
tion because o f the recent protests by anti-abortionists against some family planning program organisations such as Planned Parenthood.
According to Johnson, the uni
versity will refrain from install
ing any mare machines until tha
summer, whan tha university population is at a minimum and students can return in tha fall and not be offset by tha ma
chinaa.
Johnson believes that tha ad
ministration is “using IU P U I as a fish bowl, kind o f testing the waters.”
Butler University has aeven condom machines in each dorm, said Johnson. Purdue has also been recently approached and is negotiating with Johnson on some machines.
Pan n ed Parenthood has put condom machines at other col
leges such as Kansas State Uni
versity and tha University o f Georgia.
Locally, machines have also been distributed to bowling a l
lays and bars and taverns such as Loconitee and Bartenders.
Timothy Langston, dean o f Student Affairs, said ha feels that condom machines outside of the residential halls would be taking the project a step too far.
"Let’s not get carried away,”
said Langston. Langston said that students who live around the Indianapolis area that do not live in the residential dorms can probably purchase condoms from other sources.
In an earlier story in T h t Sagamore, Johnson said, 'M an y people find tt humiliating to buy condoms at the drugstore, no matter what age they are” and added “you’re selling protection, but you're aleo trying to sell con
venience too.”
As the trend turns:
Jeans get the blues
By MICK McCRATH Rest in peace, acid wash.
For the past two years, the white-splotched acid-washed style ruled the world o f campus fashion. But two years in the fashion industry is an eternity, and any trend's hold on the pocketbooks o f America is a tenuous thing.
So, like the Miami Vice look that preceded it, acid wash sits on the shelf, passed over for this year’s craze — but there lies the problem.
“ There’s no outstanding fea
ture in denim this year,” said Glenda Daly, district manager for Chess King, a men's clothing store chain.
Instead o f a new jeans fad, styles will be more basic, said Daly,.with a shift away from the lighter, white-washed style and a return to a darker fabric.
“Even designer jeans are get
ting back to a basic, darker color,” said Dave Allen, manager o f Hnrry Levinson at Glendale.
Acid wash will also get the
blues, either through re-dyeing the jeans after the splotching process or by acid washing a darker pair o f jeans.
Variations on the acid-wash process will keep the style around for at least a while longer. Levi's recently intro
duced their Galactic Wash line, a variation on add wash that splatters the jeans with an astral-like pattern.
Strictly from an economic sense, basic jeans make more sense. Stone-washed or add- washed jeans take a beating in the process. Marble-sized pumice stones, soaked with bleach i f the streaked look is desired, are thrown in during the washing process to soften the jeans. As a result, the denim fabric wears out quicker.
Through all the changes in style, the basic pair o f blue jeans has proven to be immune to the vagaries o f fashion.
“ There’s still a lot o f business done on that wall,” said Allen, painting with his thumb at a wall stacked from floor to ceiling with the basic blues.
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Holiday donations make season merry
C
hristmas is cominq. The malls are crowded, traffic is bumper-to-bumper and tempers are short. Wish lists are impossibly long, finances are small and creativity is in great demand.W hat should be a season of joy and good cheer has become commercialized torture lor some people. But the spirit of Christmas is alive and well for those who look beyond their own needs and volunteer their time and resources to help those less fortunate.
Special Visitors are each assigned to regularly visit one critically ill child at Riley Hospital for Children.
Volunteers are trained to handle the special needs of these children whose parents may live too far away or have other demands that keep them item visiting often.
If you are interested in making a four-days-a-week commitment that could last several weeks or months, call Vivien Osmunson at 274-8682.
International students who are far from home and cannot afford to make the trip over the break would undoubtedly appreciate being included in Christmas caroling or other holiday activities. Call Mariana Richmond at 274-7294, and she will match you up with a student or students who would like to participate.
The Riley Hospital Guild accepts monetary dona
tions and new toys to be distributed among the children who need them most. The guild Is located In Room 403 of the hospital.
The Student Government Is collecting canned goods and monetary contributions for needy families in Indian
apolis. Collection boxes are placed in several sites around campus. Call the government office at 274-3907 for more information.
These are needs on this campus, and they are just a small sample of the needs people have throughout the city. Gleaners Food Bank, the Salvation Army and the United W ay all rely on the generosity of others.
The joy of giving doesn’t come exclusively from seeing the smiles of family arid friends. It also can be felt In the heart when you know that someone, somewhere is having a better Christmas because you cared enough to donate some of your time or other resources.
— Th e Editorial Board
O P IN IO N
Dec. 12.1988
UCLA grad reflects on lUPUI’s image
L e tte r s - to - th e -
T o th e E d ito r:
Neither W alter Buchanan nor Miriam Langsam offered viable solutions to the problem o f our university's identity.
Professor Buchanan advocated changing our name from IU P U I to Indiana Purdue University.
And Dean Langsam proposed leaving it just the w ay it is.
Both Professor Buchanan and Dean Langsam compared the IU P U I situation to that o f UCLA. But, as an alumnus of UCLA, let me assure you that there is absolutely no doubt in my mind who or where my alma mater is. I suffer no inferiority complex because I didn’t get my degree at Berkeley.
In fact, due to their adminis
trative independence, I never really thought about the other campuses. Here, the “main"
campuses are an obsession, a source o f repeated, endless, un
productive discussion in faculty meetings.
Most importantly, the history o f U C L A provides the real les
son for IU P U I. U C L A historians have written that the campus did not begin to mature, to de
velop its own fine reputation, until it managed to wrest con
trol o f its own alumni affairs from the resistant Berkeley ad
ministration. This was the be
ginning o f its own identity.
IU P U I graduates are annually solicited by the Purdue or Indi
ana University alumni associa
tions (depending on their de
gree) for contributions which the
“main” campuses are under no obligation to allocate to IU P U I unless the donor so specifies.
These solicitations are not made on behalf o f the IU P U I campus and, as a taxpayer and as a faculty member who wants the finest possible state univer
E d i t o r a
sity to be in Indianapolis, I note the irony that administrative spending per student is lower at IU P U I than at either o f the
“main” campuses.
The IU P U I faculty is repeated
ly told the reason our allocations are not as high as those in Bloomington is that we are more
“efficient* at what we do. (A s a taxpayer, I wonder why the legislature continues to fund less efficient campuses at higher per student levels.)
Both Professor Buchanan’s and Dean Langston’s solutions perpetrate the IU P U I inferiority complex. Their solutions are in tended to leave our graduates thinking that they have received a degree from “ the real” Indiana University to the south or “the real* Puidue University to the northwest.
As one o f my colleagues here remarked, students who are happy to graduate from IU P U I with, what Professor Buchanan
describes as the ‘ prestige o f an IU or Purdue degree,” really are settling for less than what our faculty has to offer.
As a member o f the Geology Department, which is in the Purdue School o f Science but which awards an Indiana Uni
versity degree, I think that our students get a double dose o f ad
ministrative schiiophrenia Our campus is a university, and the names that Professor Buchanan and Dean Langsam advocate do nothing to change the image that our campus is a loose-knit confederation.
But I think that the issue real
ly isn’t one o f how to develop a first-rank university in one o f America’s largest cities and it certainly isn’t how to develop a first-rank university system across our state.
It’s a matter o f preserving two alumni associations, two basket
ball and two football teams in two small midwestsern towns, and “Hoosier and Boilermaker Pride.”
G a ry D. R o s e n b e rg A s s o c ia te P r o fe s s o r G e o lo g y
Seconding scholarship motion
To the Editor:
I have followed the story about Linda Proffitt and the Student Senate between classes and work. Then today I read the let
ter by Pat Grieet suggesting that the Senate be abolished and its $17,000 budget (I couldn’t believe it, either) go to a scholarship program for those interested in representative gov
ernance.
I second the motion and propose a mechanism for carry
ing out the action. The next time the Senate elections are held, there should be a proposition on the ballot presenting this elimination necessary to our bet
ter experience at IU P U I and in stituting the scholarship Ms.
Griest mentions. I f this proposi
tion carries, the existing Senate will make plans to cease opera
tions.
John Avila First year School of Dentistry
Campus Inquiry What are you looking forw ard to giving for^hnstm as?^
PAT MOELLER TODD FULLER JOLYN RICKARD LARRY OAKS DANA ANDERSON
Freshman Senior Sophomore Freshman Sophomore
University Division Liberal Arts Liberal Arts University Division Telecommunications
*1 have a computer, three Bar
bie dolls - one is an astronaut Barbie th a t says 'We girls can do anything’ - and a xylophone th a t I’m sending to my grand
daughter in Germany."
“Probably my time to the Sal
vation Army.”
“I haven’t done my Christm as shopping yet, but I can’t wait to battle the crowds."
“I ju s t had my first child re
cently. I guess I’m m ost looking forward to seeing my daughter get interesting gifts and be excited about th a t.”
“I’m looking forward to giving my grandparents a big hug, because they’re coming out to see us from Pennsylvania."
Dec. 12, 1988 The SAGAM ORE OPINION / Page 7
Mr. Tree entertains children, him self at Christm as
It's amazing what people will do for money when they're hard up at Christ
mas time.
Tm broke so much o f the time that it doesn't bother me too much (you get used to it after a while), but when it’s Christ
mas morning and you’re opening all the
g
fts you've received from family and lends, it’s generally regarded as good manners to give gifts in return.That’s when being broke really gets me down.
Five years ago, when I was really desperate for cash, I had to take drastic measures — I got a temporary job at a department store. N ot as a salesman.
Not as a cashier. N ot as a stock boy N ot as a window washer.
I was Mr. Tree.
That’s right. Five hours a day, four days a week during the month o f Decem
ber, the quietest, most reserved person you’ll ever meet was the voice inside Mr.
Tree.
It was my job to jovially announce
“M erry Christmas* to all the passersby who would stroll by the balsa wood tree and exclaim, “Oh, look, it’s Mr. Tree! It’s Mr. Tree!* I remember feeling the way Yogi Bear must have felt when the tourists in Jellystone Park would drive by and shout, “ Look at the bears! Look at the bears!*
I suppose I should mention that the tree had a big sm iling face with pink rub
ber lips, a round, squeezable rubber nose that could be wiggled from inside the tree and two big eyes with eyelids that I could open and cloae. Last, but not least, I had a red sock that ran all the way up to my shoulder which served as (believe it or not) Mr. Tree's tongue.
Let me describe for you a typical day inside Mr. Tree.
First, I would have to wiggle inside the tree through this tiny opening and posi
tion m yself as comfortably as possible on the smallest, most uncomfortable chair in the world. Since I would get there be
fore the store opened, I would always take a newspaper to read before the little brats — I mean, before the little kids
Holiday Column
By Rick Morwick
would arrive with their mothers in tow and say those dreaded words, “ It’s Mr.
Tree! It’s Mr Tree!*
Inevitably, the most dreadful o f events would occur. Some little kid's mother would say, “ You stay here and talk with Mr. Tree while I go shopping.*
You can’t imagine how I hated those words. Do you have any idea what it’s like (especially far someone who has vir
tually no experience relating to young children) to entertain a five year old from inside a tree for up to an hour?
Pure hell — sometimes.
It depended on how the particular brat
would behave. 8ome kids were an ab
solute pleasure to entertain. Others, well...
Take, far instance, the one kid who would stand in front at the tree almost every day I was working He would never say anything and he would always have a blank expression on his face. It was my job, no matter what, to talk to anyone and everyone who would come up to the tree. But what do you say to something that refuses to talk back?
The store, o f course, had prepared us
“trees’ far just such an occasion Stapled to the inside o f the tree was a list o f the iiu p td tii children's joke you've ever heard in your life. I had sworn to myaelf that I would never resort to using them;
however, as I said, drastic times call for drastic measures.
“Hev,* 1 said to the kid, feigning Pee Wee H erman enthusiasm. “What do you
call a pig that knows karate?”
He just stared at me.
*A pork chop. Get it? Ha ha.*
“Oh, God, how H u p u T I heard a fe
male voice say in the most annoying val
ley girl accent you've ever heard “That's really dumb * The voice belonged to one o f two teenage girls who had been listen
ing off to the ado. O f course, 1 hadn't eeen them standing there.
I waa, needless to say, thoroughly em barrassed They began to walk away, still commenting on the silliness o f the joke and o f the tree in general, saying how they wouldn't have my job for a m il
lion dollars.
I immediately ‘stuck out my tongue' and waved goodbye. One o f them turned around, saw the red tongue writhing out
side the rubber lips, and said, “Look what it's doing.* When the other one turned around and looked, she said rath
er loudly, T h a t tree is kinky!*
That was a typical day.
An untypical day waa the time I smuggled beer inside Mr Tree (I was younger and mors daring then). Lookjng back on it now, it probably wasn't the smartest thing in the world to do, but I was a very happy tree that day. I sang songs with the little kiddies and their parents and recited every stupid joke stapled inside the tree.
I think I even advised some of the mothers to go ahead and leave their chil
dren with M r Tree while they did their shopping (as 1 said, I was a happy tree)
I can’t say I would do it again, but I did eryoy my tenure as Mr. Tree More often than not, and much to my surprise, en
tertaining young children and making them laugh was pure joy. It really brightened my own Christmas
Many o f those kids looked forward to visiting Mr. Tree, which I didn't really realize at first. Parents made special trips into that store just so their children could talk with Mr. Tree.
Mr. Tree — that waa me. Santa Claus, eat your heart out.
Holiday ‘traditions’ in other lands - yeah, that’s the ticket
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas.
America loves i t
It’s a holly, jo lly time o f the year in the US o f A and i f there’s one thing Am er
icans excel at it’s being holly and jolly. In fact, we’re probably the holliest, jolliest people in the world, unless someone says bad things about us and then we have to kill their president and set up a puppet government, but aside from that and the occasional hostile takeover, we’re a bunch o f soft-hearted puppy lovers.
In (act, about the only fault we have is that we think the whole world is like America, the best holly, jo lly country in the whole world.
Invented by N ew York City department store owners around the turn o f the century, Christmas is one o f the few American holidays celebrated in almost every country in the world.
Most Americans have little knowledge o f the holiday customs o f other countries, but most Americans think Canada is in Central America so it’s no big surprise that they think people all over the world celebrate the holiday by watching foot
ball and going to the store for batteries.
There is a lot to learn from the holiday customs o f other countries. Exciting? You bet. Interesting? N o question about it. I l legal? Sometimes.
Their pathetic attempts at gaiety can be as colorful as Christmas wrappings and as entertaining as an Osmond family special. Let’s take a little trip around the
Holiday Column
By Mick McGrath
world to see how foreigners, who are not Americans, try to make the best out of Christmas, even though they’re not Americans.
Wassail — A traditional British holiday drink, this is the one word in Christmas carols that no one knows the meaning o f or how to pronounce.
Like most traditional English foods it is unfit for human consumption, but people who drive Saab station wagons manage to choke it down while saying things like, “You know this is a tradi
tional English d rin k *
A rich, frothy mixture o f chutney, York
shire pudding, dark beer and those little green and red chunks that people pick out o f fruitcakes, wassail will solidify just minutes after being made. Most people would throw it away or use it as a sanding block, but the English slice it for cold cuts and force their children to eat wassail sandwiches — which explains why the British are some o f the moot un
pleasant people on earth.
Oh, Cannon Bomb — This German Christmas carol combines two traditional German favorites — war and drinking.
Sample lyrics; Oh, Cannon Bomb/more bee r/Gooee-step on your head/Oh, Can
non Bomh/1 said more beer, stupid/Ach, Ach, Ach/Help me, Tm choking/Ach, Ach.
Chocolate Watch Dance — One o f the only Christmas traditions from Switzer
land, which is in Texas, this complex and intricate dance has left many unsuspect
ing tourists bruised and bleeding.
Both feet are placed together, chocolate bars are taped over the dancers' eyes and the hands are rotated around the head.
The dancers then swing each other around a small Christmas tree, stand on one foot, sway back and forth, quack like a duck, gargle, spit, sob uncontrollably, strip to their underwear and yodel.
The men and women go to opposite ends o f the room, run at each other at full speed, collide and scream out in pain. Everyone hates the tradition, but the Swiss are too polite to say anything.
The Pinada — The word pinada means
“ joke* in Spanish. A papier-mache dog or donkey is filled with candy and hung from the ceiling. Children are given big sticks and large quantities o f beer. Their shoelaces are then tied together and the kids are set loose on groups o f rich Am er
ican tourists.
Eating — Italians love to eat. Just look at their women. Actually, Italians eat all the time, but at Christmas they eat even
more. Whole families jump naked into bowls o f pasta the size o f a bus and eat until their jaws lock up. Then they have dessert. 1>ien they have sandwiches made from leftover pasta. Then they have some chips and beer. Then they have espresso. Then they have ice cream.
Then they burp. Then they elect a new government. Bv then it’s time far Christ
mas dinner. Because Italians like to savor their food, they keep a lot o f food in their mouths at one time. Sometimes their heads explode.
Some American Christmas traditions are universal, like buying presents for pets and giving lingerie to street people
In most countries, families decorate Christmas trees, but in France, which is in China, they decorate their neighbor’s wife and the whole family has an affair with her. They usually forget to water her and she dries up and her needles fall o ff and clog up the vacuum cleaner and then she catches fire and the house bums down, which is why the French don’t like the United States, which is in Mexico.
Santa Claus is known in almost every land, and was so popular in Paraguay, which is in Japan, that they elected him president, but the C IA had to kill him
No matter how Christmas is celebrated around the world, it’s one export that Americana can be proud of, but those for
eigners better start paying us residuals for the idea.
P a g e 8 T h e S A G A M O R E Dec. 12, 1988
O n e L a s t P o p Q u i z
Q . W hat’s the difference between
a PS/2 bought before graduation and a PS/2 bought after?
A . A great student discount
Here’s one quiz you’ ll definitely' want to pass. Because buying an I B M ’ Personal Systeni/2‘ before you graduate means sa\ ing a lot ol money. And saving money is a stood start for your
future. r
Another good start is the IB M PS/2." It can help you w rite and organize your personal notes and letters, produce high-quality graphics to make all your work look sharper, and lots more.
And there's a good chance that IB M w ill be the computer you’ ll work with in your career.
So get an A on th isquiz. and you’ 11 get an I BM PS/2 for less.
ACCESS POINT, ET BLDG. - R O O M 1030, 274-0767
‘ B V * V s A n d PS/2 'egttfe«eO ol tBM Co»o
