Communicating, dealing with conflict, and making decisions are skills discussed in ev- ery leadership class and described in every leadership book. Thus, of course, they will be addressed here. Theories on these issues abound across business management and healthcare leadership. But do not be fooled; no teacher, no guru, no book has the an- swers. They will have great advice, helpful insights from experts, and abundant evidence from research, but they will not be able to tell you exactly what will work best for you, for your style, or in your situation. Nevertheless, the topics are so important that they cannot be avoided. Throughout your career, you will learn your own lessons about communica- tion, how to handle conflict, and how to make better decisions, so you must share your own learning along the way. Here you will learn what has worked for others.
Communication
Human communication is among the few things absolutely essential to life. Human be- ings must connect: physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. It is as neces- sary as breathing, but much more complex (Yoder-Wise & Kowalski, 2006). We all know that there is the message sender and the message receiver, but myriads of factors affect the actual communication. Between two people, each brings filters that include attitude, assumptions, intentions, beliefs, emotional state, physical conditions, history, culture, and experience. All affect the nature or the quality of the communication.
Verbal and written communication are deal makers and breakers for the aspiring leader. It makes all the difference in how you present yourself. You are the package that people will notice before they take your message.
Key to effective communication is self-knowledge and sensitivity to others. The well- known Johari Window (Oestreich, 2009; Yen, 1999) helps to illustrate interpersonal processes, and facilitate personal reflection on skills in interpersonal relationships. It in- cludes four rooms or panes (think of window panes). The first is called the “open arena,”
which includes what others know about me and what I know about myself. The second is called “blind” or the “blind spot,” or “what others know about me, but what I do
not know about myself.” The third pane is the “hidden” or “façade,” or what others do not know about me, but what I know about myself. And finally, the last pane is the
“unknown,” or what others do not know about me and what I do not know about my- self. All rooms affect my communication. The panes of the window help to understand nuances and complexities of human communication (Table 5.1).
Whether we realize it or not, communication in some form is reflected in every room of your life. We communicate in speech, writing, actions, body language, and even in silence. Effective communication begins with an awareness of your own style, of how others respond to you. For example, just considering speech communication, others re- spond to your tone, volume, word choices, ethnic or regional accent, expressions—and that does not even account for your body language or facial expressions. As you aspire leadership at the highest levels, it is most important to examine your own speaking style.
Do you overuse jargon, do you use colloquial phrases, do you have an accent that makes people strain to understand you? Is your style either too informal or pedantic? Is your voice gentle, soft, harsh, or intimidating? Are you comfortable expressing yourself?
Among the most effective tools for successful communication is active listening. In- deed, listening is often more important and effective than speaking. Often problems are solved simply by listening. Successful listening simply requires that people feel “heard.”
In today’s world of handheld distractions, it is a treasured gift to give full focused atten- tion and listen to another human being. Active listening is especially important. Yoder- Wise and Kowalski (2006) outlined the characteristics of active listening. They noted that the purpose is to assure the speaker that he or she has been heard, that the intensity of tone or emotion is heard and understood, and that it is safe to continue. As an active listener, paraphrase both the content and the tone of the message and reflect them back to the speaker in a genuine, empathetic manner. Sometimes, it is simply helpful to reflect the person’s own words, but you must be truly interested. If you are just practicing a technique, it will not be helpful and will come off as near mockery.
After listening, speaking is the most important signature of your leadership style.
One of the most common means of communication for leaders is the “meeting.” When I moved from a faculty position to an administrative role, the first, biggest, and most dis- tressing shock was the sheer number of meetings. Then I began to note the length of the meetings. I found that if you set a meeting for 2 hours, it will take 2 hours and 5 minutes.
Furthermore, if you set a meeting for 1 hour, it will take 1 hour and 5 minutes. The tradi- tion was for our meetings to be scheduled on 2-hour blocks. I found that every meeting of every group, committee, and task force required the full 2 hours and 5 minutes. I changed the meeting schedule to 1½ hours. Guess what? The work still got done and we cut 2½ hours off each meeting day.
Now, that is not to say that the work might have been done in 1-hour or 15-minute meetings. But not knowing the threshold of time needed, we simply filled the time space allotted. It is important to hold face-to-face meetings in many situations, and it is often preferred. But think about the purpose of the meeting and what is to be accomplished.
Communication must be clear, must be fair, and must facilitate the views of all. It must
TABLE 5.1 The Johari Window Open
What everyone knows about me Blind
What others know about me that I don’t know Hidden
What I know about myself that others don’t know Unknown
What no one knows about me
be worth the enormous number of person-hours, which is the cost that any meeting ex- acts. Think about not only your agenda but also the agenda on the mind of every member of the group. Meetings should be for group process or for very important messages from the leader that can only be delivered personally. Meetings are also important to promote esprit de corps and a sense of belonging. After the meeting, other means of communica- tion, such as e-mail, should be used appropriately to facilitate the results of the meeting.
Sometimes the entire “meeting” can be held by e-mail.
Communication specialist Sue (2001) outlined the following 10 simple steps that must be addressed every time you make any presentation to a group: (1) Know your purpose.
Ask both yourself and your audience why you are there. Do your homework. One tip is to send e-mails to 8 or 10 people in the group before the meeting and ask them about their issues, desires, and challenges. (2) Know what you want to happen from the gather- ing. What do you want and what do they want? (3) Make sure your opening is powerful.
Capture attention and create interest. You might begin with some startling attention- getting information specifically about your topic. (4) State your case and support it with evidence, facts, and examples. (5) Re-engage your audience every 6 to 8 minutes. Tell a relevant story, share a surprising statistic, have the group do something, but keep them with you. (6) Use visual information, but only if it is powerful. Do not have your Pow- erPoint be your presentation. Remember, it is only a blue screen with a few words. You must convey the message. (7) Use notes, but never memorize or read your presentation.
(8) Set the rules early for how questions and answers will be handled. Is this an open dis- cussion? Is it an information session to be peppered with questions? Or do you want to dump your whole spiel then entertain questions? (9) Rehearse what you are going to say at least four times without interruption, especially when the information is a surprise or bad news. Make an outline, keep it to only the number of points you can remember (for me, that is only three to five items), and know them. (10) Check the environment. Be sure you have set the stage on as many environmental factors as possible. Arrange the room, the chairs, the temperature, the clutter, the equipment, water, and food. Take away dis- tractions and remove all barriers to your message. I am amazed how many times when, as the leader, I am also the one to clear the clutter and arrange the chairs, but it is always worth it!
After listening and speaking, written communication is your most important tool as a leader. Leaders are required to write every day. First, you must decide which form of written communication is most appropriate for the situation: e-mail, formal memo, let- ter, or public announcement? Even before that decision, you must decide to be a good writer. That means you must practice. Get help. Nothing will deflate your leadership bal- loon more quickly than poor writing. Consult models and collect “templates” to consult (I said “consult” not “copy”) for things like letters of recommendation, executive sum- maries, proposals, or other documents that you write regularly. Then decide the purpose of your writing. Do you need to persuade, get information, clarify, motivate, solve a problem, make a recommendation, or defuse a crisis? Regardless of what you write, al- ways make an outline. I even make an outline for a thank-you note. It helps to clarify your purpose and gives a structure for your message.
Even after you have become an expert in all aspects of communication, some challenge will erupt that tests all of your best skills. It helps in those times to step aside from your- self and examine your communication skills. You may need to edit your style. Take care not to be drawn into a style that is unbecoming or ineffective.
Wheatley (2005) lamented that in current hard times, organizations are reverting
“backward” to a style of “command and control” communication. Perhaps it is a natural
tendency for organizations, and the humans inside them, to pull in during times of re- duced resources, stress, chaos, and uncertainty. Decisions become more centralized and more hierarchical, and more rules and regulations appear. Wheatley rhetorically asked,
“Where have all these policies, procedures, protocols, laws, and regulations come from?
And why do we keep creating more, even as we suffer from the terrible consequences of over-control?”As leaders try to get control or exert power for performance and pro- ductivity, the opposite actually happens. Workers who would normally take initiative to contribute ideas and willingly take responsibility also pull back and become dis- couraged, and morale drops. Then the effects compound on leaders, who lose spirit and power. And communication suffers. Wheatley cautioned, “When leaders take back power, when they act as heroes and saviors, they end up exhausted, overwhelmed, and deeply stressed. It is simply not possible to solve single-handedly the organization’s problems.” If we can trust self-managed teams, share the challenges, and engage the entire system into action during hard times, it is highly more likely that more ideas, more solutions, and more effective outcomes will result. Such outcomes always require successful communication.
No matter how well prepared the leader, how earnest the followers, and how success- ful the organization appears, it seems inevitable in the complexities of the healthcare environment that at some moment, things will go bad. Whether it is an unconscionable error, an economic crash, a disappointing employee, or a painful lawsuit, one day, sud- denly, the leader will wish that she or he had aspired to be anything but to be “in charge.”
Such situations may include any of the following: when you must deliver a negative performance review; when you must confront unfair treatment, deception, breaches of confidentiality, or lack of commitment; when you must deal with a person who is abu- sive, needy, or irresponsible; when you must deliver bad news or share the results of a difficult decision; when you must say “no”; or when you must surmount enormous bar- riers to effective communication. And you wonder, “How will I survive this?” It may be a painfully public issue or one that is born in a quiet, hurting heart. Its source may be a circumstance or a person. If it is a matter that will or has become public, a notable bank- ing leader gives the following advice for communication:
1. Get the bad news out as quickly as possible. Only then can you get out of the bunker and begin to move forward.
2. If you have been found guilty in the court of public opinion, you must apologize—publicly.
Lawyers, financial specialists, and other “experts” may tell you that you are legally, techni- cally, and practically in the right. It does not matter.
3. Make sure that employees are attuned to what is going on. If there is bad news, let them hear it from you before they read it in the newspapers.
4. Wherever possible, do not forget to have some fun. If you are outgunned or in a position of disadvantage, do not be afraid to do the unexpected or the outrageous, because what have you got to lose? (Hill, 2004, pp. 8–9)