Tuwid: A Photo Series Depicting the Experiences of Closeted Filipino LGBTQ+ Youth
Francesca Marie R. Caguiat De La Salle University Integrated School (Manila)
[email protected] John Alfred V. Dalisay, Research Adviser
De La Salle University Integrated School (Manila)
Abstract: The artist-researcher used pastiche and technology incorporated with photography to depict the household experiences of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer+ youth in the Philippines. Six participants attended a focus group discussion that was used in art conceptualization. They shared common experiences of having internalized homophobia and fear of rejection because of their families’ religious beliefs. However, a few shared factors apart from religiosities such as the parents’ reaction in general and their personal view on the significance of coming out. The photo series applied references to famous religious paintings and the repetition of subjects. Elements of the photos were added to recontextualize the religious paintings to represent the said experiences.
Keywords: photography; LGBTQ+ youth experiences; pastiche; religious paintings; family dynamics
1. INTRODUCTION
1.1. BackgroundThe Philippines ranked fifth in the world regarding religiosity as of Gallup International’s report in 2017, with 90% of Filipinos identifying themselves as religious and dominantly within Christian denominations. A report suggested a significant correlation between a country’s religiosity and its acceptance and tolerance of homosexuality (Pew Research Center 3-4). It was explained that more religious countries were less accepting of homosexuality because of how their citizens put great importance on morals and beliefs tied to their religion; however, the Philippines was one of the few countries that showed “notable exceptions”
when it comes to this matter. 73% of Filipinos agreed that homosexuality should be accepted by society. Even with such findings, the Filipino LGBTQ+ community still experiences challenges in and out of their households. Discrimination, bullying, mental health issues, and lack of recognition by the
public are a few of those challenges (Tang and Poudel 13).
The traditional Filipino family is not entirely open to sexual orientation and gender identity discussions. Austria explained that “a coming-out discussion, much less a celebration, is seldom heard of in this country” and that degrading comments and questions were pelted at the community (115).
Considering the safety and acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community, Dermer et al. suggested that dealing with coming out may be a difficult process as “stigmatization and marginalization are by-products of sexual prejudice”
(qtd. in Ali and Barden 501). The weight of the risks that come with being out about one’s sexuality and gender identity can be one reason why many people in the LGBTQ+
community are still closeted.
1.2 Photography as a Tool for Understanding and Representing Experiences
Most previous LGBTQ+ youth studies found were
centered on experiences in the West. Some studies used photography to understand the mental health conditions of young people. Challenges in this generation led to the idea that it was essential to use another mode to present a new way of cooperative communication (Charles and Felton 13).
Another study was conducted to shed light on the on-campus narratives of LGBTQ+ students in the Midwestern United States. It used the photovoice method, which involved self-photographs and a discussion of the images. The negative experiences were illuminated and discussed using photographs and symbolism while advocating for a more inclusive university environment for LGBTQ+ students (Bardhoshi et al. 204-207).
As studies have shown, photography, especially photovoice, has been used to communicate effectively, even in matters about representation and understanding the challenges of LGBTQ+ individuals in the West (Ferlatte 1530). Some have also discussed identity, religion, parental attitude, and the challenges encountered mainly by Filipino LGBTQ+ students (Tang and Poudel 15). Nonetheless, no study still focuses on incorporating postmodernism, particularly the concept of pastiche and photography, to depict the experiences of closeted LGBTQ+ youth in the Philippines.
LGBTQ+ representation in the media may be accessible through personalities like Vice Ganda and Jake Zyrus and teleseryes like My Husband’s Lover (Diaz 722-723); however, media portrayal is usually stereotypical and stigmatized. As media is slowly evolving, it is important to contribute to this change through understanding and presenting their experiences through art ("Philippines:
Stonewall Global Workplace Briefings, 2018"). This paper aims to understand the experiences of closeted Filipino LGBTQ+ youth by incorporating pastiche and photography to represent their experiences. Using the elements of photography, it is easier to interpret such narratives and deliver the message effectively while retaining the artistic value. Thus, it is crucial to shed light on these kinds of discussions by answering the question “How does postmodernism in photography accentuate the experiences of the closeted Filipino LGBTQ+ youth in terms of family dynamics?” with the following specific questions: What elements of the postmodern pastiche can be applied in photography? What are the experiences of the closeted Filipino LGBTQ+ youth in terms of family dynamics?
This study only focused on the family dynamic experiences of closeted LGBTQ+ youth in the Philippines, mainly 17-21-year-old individuals in the National Capital Region and Southern Tagalog. It did not cover their experiences from being out of the closet. Staffing to execute some production processes was limited. It was also related to time, resources, and logistical constraints because of the situation of the pandemic when this paper was written.
Although religion was discussed, it was not thoroughly addressed throughout this study apart from its relation to homosexuality.
2. THE PROCESS
The sampling method used in this study is purposive sampling, which has multiple advantages, considering the participants' time, resources, safety, and comfortability. In line with the research, the demographics are closeted and out LGBTQ+ youth from ages 17 to 21 years old to ensure that the data (experiences) gathered were directly from the people within the community. This study used a focus group discussion (FGD), which involved six participants, to answer the research question: What are the experiences of the closeted Filipino LGBTQ+ youth in terms of family dynamics? The benefit of using FGD is the method’s nature of gaining an in-depth understanding of a specific issue. It allowed insights from multiple people, and it involved interaction such as agreement and disagreement on a particular topic or question through verbal and nonverbal cues. Through this, it was easier to identify the commonalities in the participants' experiences, making the analysis of the recurring theme/experience uncomplicated.
Pictures and paintings that exhibit the concept of pastiche were also analyzed. This was done in order to gather ideas and information about the elements to be applied in the photo series.
The main idea generated in the FGD was inspired by how their experiences were associated with the religiosity of other family members. Because of the pandemic, certain creative decisions were made to modify the photo series, such as using a projector, furniture, appliances, and costumes that were already available. Such decisions did not negatively affect the concept and its relevance to the study. A few of the techniques used were the manipulation of light, colors, images/paintings projected, and even the main elements before and during the shoot. The entire production process also involved a heavy need for digital art skills and software,
especially in altering the images/background to be projected and post-processing the shots.
3. THE ARTWORK/ CREATIVE WORK
3.1 The Experiences of Closeted Filipino LGBTQ+
Youth
The stories of Filipino LGBTQ+ youth deserve to be discussed by more people to be able to recognize the challenges and standards that gravely affect themselves and their relationships with other people, especially their families.
Consequently, when these kinds of stories are brought to the table, they are either dismissed or viewed as stories of people who “need prayers'' and need to be “changed or healed.” FGD Participant A (18 years old) shared that their family treats it as a sickness and a mere effect of “lacking in prayer” and relationship with God; thus, suggesting attending religious devotions to “wash away” the non-heterosexual orientation.
They then explained how unsettling family dinners could be, especially when homophobic comments were mentioned.
Additionally, several participants' immediate and extended family members also experienced conversion therapy wherein their sibling and cousin were sent to Christian psychiatrists to be “corrected.” Stories like this caused fear that led them to stay in the closet. One already out participant (20 years old) mentioned that their parents also suggested something related, and they described it with “multiple success stories.”
Before accepting themselves, these individuals took a while because of internalized homophobia and household situations. In terms of family dynamics and their relation to LGBTQ+ youth, it was found that the “perceived parental attitude” is also linked to internalized homophobia, which is something that may negatively affect Filipino LGBTQ+
individuals’ mental and emotional health (Tan et al. 6). FGD Participant B (18 years old) shared that their father pointed out that they were always locked in their room. It was when Participant B had an internal conflict about their sexuality.
They also mentioned that one of the factors of not coming out is their parents’ reaction, particularly the mother’s. Almost all participants share a common fear of how their parents will treat them after they come out.
Another study, however, focused on Latino/a youth, also showed that LGBTQ+ individuals emphasized “the broader impact of familial resistance to their LGBTQ+
identities on stressors.” “Familial religious pressure” has a detrimental effect on their mental health, and they also described how extremely religious mothers impose heterosexuality on them (Schmitz et al. 843-844). However, some participants also mentioned that they belong to accepting families. The only factors of not coming out are the following: internalized homophobia, child-parent relationship, the reaction in general (Participant E, 18, who is not from a religious family), and their personal view on the significance of coming out.
Since heteronormative views predominate in the Philippines, LGBTQ+ youth question themselves for a long time on whether they are queer or not (as some of the participants are/were in straight-passing relationships). A participant also opened that they had a realization during 4th grade but only came to accept themselves after six years.
Furthermore, one of the ideas that hinder them is their family is not open to discussing gender identity and sexual orientation because diverging from the heteronormative standards would mean sinning, considering their families’
religiosity. All of the FGD participants agreed that they had to fight through it. Participant B (18 years old) mentioned that it is hard to hide their feelings, and Participant C (17 years old) added that it is unfair that there is still a need to hide.
The artist found this extremely important because of their own lived experiences as part of the LGBTQ+
community, sharing the same challenges with the participants. Such perspectives are justified for having a deeper understanding and connection to the narratives; hence, the translated artworks come from a more genuine interpretation. The artist also acknowledges and believes that beyond the shared negative experiences of closeted Filipino LGBTQ+ youth, the community stands in solidarity with the out and closeted individuals. Moreover, a participant expressed appreciation in pointing out the importance of having papers or discussions focused on the people within the community. “Until now, our voices are not being heard, and we still lack studies about our experiences” (Participant F, 19 years old).
3.2 Photography and Pastiche
Photography had already been used to represent non-binary gender identities in Mexico, known asmuxes. It was a broadening of visibility/representation of non-binary
identities in and out of Mexico. The photographs offered a more inclusive perspective of gender and sexuality, even if such presentations are likely to receive misinterpretation.
Such a kind of representation enabled critical observation and understanding locally and internationally. It had “guarded against invisibility in a hyper-visual world” (Gasiorowski 898-899).
Through this arts-based research, the experiences of closeted Filipino LGBTQ+ youth were represented using photography, cultural pastiche, and technology. In the arts, postmodernism was not restricted to a single meaning from the creator. Instead, it mainly comes from and between the viewers and the creator. The postmodern style of art took on the style of being complex and inexplicable. It broke the boundaries of the traditional concepts of style. This type was seen as freeing to arts and design and often described as
“funny, sometimes confrontational and occasionally absurd.”
Related to the philosophy of postmodernism, postmodern art was not bound by the singularity of context and effort.
Instead, it references, copies, and relates to other ideas and artworks. Hassan explained that postmodern art specialized in the following: indeterminacy, fragmentation, decanonization, selflessness and depthlessness, the unpresentable and unrepresentable, hybridization, carnivalization, and performance (qtd. in Farhangpour and Abdolsalami). The art form challenged painting in terms of quality, scale, and replicability. The camera’s ability to capture a precise representation of reality sets it apart from painting and has driven painters to expressionism. Photography has empowered the rising of questions about society’s view of art.
Lovejoy also explained that it is crucial to understand the connection between art and technology for establishing photography beyond art (257). Photography had a significant impact on art in that it enabled a new way of studying it: replicating and distributing; hence, visual communication was made available to more people. It allowed the cultural sphere to expand and enhance. As more artworks were being reproduced apart from their original context and setting when created, it opened more opportunities for having multiple meanings that are somewhat not aligned with the original context (259). Hence, the reference to old famous religious paintings and the repetition of the subjects in the photos.
The use of lighting, extreme contrast, and dark shadows was also made concerning the nature of the topic
and the artists' specific styles referenced in the photo series.
Through recreating and altering such elements, the religious paintings were chosen, reconstructed, and recontextualized to fit the narratives shared by the participants. Although the concept showed contradictions in the topics, the irony perfectly represented the experiences of the closeted Filipino LGBTQ+ youth, as supported by the definition of pastiche.
3.3 The Photo Series
The first theme in the photo series used The Immaculate Conception of Los Venerables by Bartolomé Esteban Murillo, which is a depiction of the Virgin Mary. The original artwork had warm tones and angels surrounding her.
She is clothed in white and blue, which are colors that represent purity, trust, and faith. It was altered into the colors of the rainbow to represent the image of the LGBTQ+
community while still retaining the blue to indicate innocence. The photograph was taken in a bed-like setting as a form of connection to one of the FGD participant’s experiences of disconnecting from the family by being locked in the room and dealing with an internal crisis on sexuality and identity (see fig. 1).
Fig 1.Ang Pagkamulat - Shot 3 referencing The Immaculate Conception of Los Venerables.
The famousThe Last Supperby Leonardo da Vinci was then used as the third theme of the photo series. A family of five, played by a single person, is shown in the painting.
Moreover, The Last Supper is known to be placed in the dining room of traditional Filipino households. Elements such as fruits, dishes, a plastic pitcher, and the wardrobe all made up the awkward dining experiences with the family, as shared by a participant in the FGD. Most importantly, the imagery of an apple was used to represent the forbidden fruit as told in the biblical story from the book of Genesis (see fig. 2).
Fig. 2.Karaniwang Hapunan - Shot 1.
The third theme then referenced Salvador Dali’s Christ of Saint John of the Cross,depicting Jesus Christ on a cross but free of gore images. The original presented it in a dream-like manner, almost showing Jesus overlooking a body of water, which can be interpreted as a relationship between disciples being fishermen or even simply watching the world.
The first shot from the theme was taken to display self-reflection (see fig. 3.). The entire set of photos with this theme emphasized guilt from internalized homophobia influenced by household conditions, using the symbolism of clothing.
Fig. 3 Sariling Krus at Pako - Shot 1 with the subject interacting with the painting Christ of Saint John of the Cross.
Caravaggio’s Cattura di Cristo or The Taking of Christwas then referenced in the fourth theme. The shot is a reinterpretation of the painting that depicts the betrayal of Christ. From the title itself, Takot Ipagkanulo finally represents the shared experience of closeted Filipino LGBTQ+ youth: living with the fear of being betrayed and rejected by their own family (see fig. 4).
Fig. 4.Takot Ipagkanulo - Shot 3 played by a single person.
Apart from the challenges of being a closeted Filipino LGBTQ+ youth, the fight for equality and acceptance continues for all generations of the Filipino LGBTQ+ community; thus, it is crucial to create safe spaces and start more discussions directly among the community.
Although this is where the purpose of art comes in, it is important for people belonging to and outside the community to go beyond artworks and images like Tuwid. These photos are only a tiny fraction of the bigger picture, which lies in the
kind of society LGBTQ+ youth live in. Filipino LGBTQ+
youth should no longer be locked alone to deal with sexuality and identity crises, sit in unsettling suppers over homophobic remarks, or be left closeted with guilt and fear of betrayal and rejection.
Pass the SOGIE Equality Bill now!
4. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Tuwid is dedicated to the closeted Filipino LGBTQ+ youth and those of other generations who had to fight and grow up in unaccepting households. This study would not have been possible without the help of other people. I thank Ma. Rowena R. Caguiat, Gabriel M. Caguiat, Jr., and Joeben Torres for funding, lending equipment, and setting up photoshoot sets. I would like to extend my sincere gratitude to models Ross G. Reyes and Atheena Rhezelle B.
Manguray for pushing through the photoshoots despite the pandemic and late-night schedules. I would also like to thank the six focus group discussion participants for sharing their experiences. To mentor Candice Marie V. Perez and adviser John Alfred V. Dalisay, I thank you for the support, patience, and guidance throughout the entire process of conceptualizing until the finishing of this arts-based research.
Lastly, I would like to thank God for making everything possible and loving everyone unconditionally.
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