Several years ago I was making a sales call with a colleague. The prospect that we were calling on was what you might call…well…a jerk. This guy had no interest in our product or service, and I believe he called is into his office just to blow off a little steam. Well, he did.
As we walked out of the office building, my buddy looked to me and said, “Man, that guy was an animal.” I paused for a moment and thought about what he had said.
I responded with, “What type of animal do you think he is?”
He paused for a moment and said, “How about a jackass?”
We made several more sales calls that day. While it was medical office buildings that we were going into, you would have thought we were calling on the Omaha Zoo. Every time we got into the car after a call, we would
identify our last customer as a specific animal. That day we had conversa- tions with the jackass, the snake, the pussycat, the rat, the goat, the sheep, the fox, the bear, and the roach (okay, so we ran into a few insects too).
Thinking of the calls we made that day, it would have been nice to know what animal my buddy and I would be meeting with before we ever walked in the door. This preparation would have changed our mind-set and prepared us for how we should have acted and responded to the actions of the animals. With so many different personality types, it is important that we change how we look, act, and talk depending on the animal that we are presenting to. Yes, we need to become the animal that we are selling to…that is unless they are really bad animals!
Don’t take too long to transform yourself from salesperson to animal. This change needs to occur almost instantaneously as the prospect either walks through that door or finishes his first sentence over the phone. Otherwise, you risk losing the ability to get your message across because the defense walls never come down. Anyway, let’s talk about different prospects of the animal kingdom and what you need to do when preparing to sell to them.
The Jackass
Pronunciation: jack·ass 1: A male ass or donkey
2: A foolish or stupid person; a blockhead
Now I know that you have sold to more than a few of this type of animal before. In fact, the jackass is one of my favorites. I look forward to calling on him. Some of my funniest sales calls have resulted in the jackass doing everything he can to get me off his back. This is the one animal that I encourage you not to be like when you are in front of him. While the rule of thumb is to try to assimilate your customer, I do not encourage you to try to “out-jackass” the jackass. I encourage you to be patient with him.
He has often had a tough day in the barn and looks at you as a little fly buzzing around his eyeballs. The jackass usually talks quickly, likes to get to the point, and hates the crap that he is standing in. So if you have any hope of turning the jackass into a stallion, you must speed up your speech, be PRECISE, get to the point, and not add to the crap that he is standing in. Convince him that you have a shovel and flyswatter and that you are the rep that can turn his barn into a better place.
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The Snake
Pronunciation:′snAk
1: any of numerous limbless scaled reptiles with a long tapering body and with salivary glands often modified to produce venom which is injected through grooved or tubular fangs
2: a worthless or treacherous fellow
Have you sold to any snakes? The snake, like the jackass, is an exception to the rule. While it is not in your best interest to try to be a worthless or treacherous fellow as the definition describes, it is in your best interest to talk like the snake. I have seen many snakes stare down and pounce on sales reps who were acting like pussycats. If you want the snake to respect you, look him in the eye and do not flinch. Wipe off that smile, put on your game face, and be as PRECISE as possible. The snake will never like you, but she just might respect you. That’s the most you will ever get out of the snake. But once the snake respects you, she is often loyal, and always willing to bite the head off that mousy competitor that has been running around your field.
The Rat
Pronunciation:′rat
1: any of numerous rodents (Rattus and related genera) differing from the related mice by considerably larger size and by structural details (as of the teeth) b: any of various similar rodents
2: a contemptible person: as a: one who betrays or deserts friends or associates
Don’t be a rat, but make the rat trust you. The rat will give you all sorts of information about people in his workplace and about the competition.
Be careful of the rat’s attitude, however. They are negative and can pull you into their sewer. Don’t go there. It’s dark, and damp, and it’s difficult to get out once you’re down there. The rat has the ability to make helpless salespeople say things that they should not. Many reps believe that if they act like the rat and talk like the rat, the rat will like them. Let’s get this straight. The rat likes no one, and will use anything you say to him against you. Don’t trust the rat, but make the rat trust you.
The Fox
Pronunciation:′fäks
1: any of various carnivorous mammals (especially genus Vulpes) of the dog family related to but smaller than wolves with shorter legs, more pointed muzzle, large erect ears, and long bushy tail
2: a clever crafty person
You better be sharp and clever around the fox. The fox is usually a great prospect if you are a great sales rep. The fox rarely gets tripped up and is looking for other foxes to help him find solutions to his problems. When working with the fox, you had better prepare, because he has places to go, people to see, and gets bored easily with the turtle. Once you sell to the fox, be careful to not get complacent. The clever fox is always looking for an easier, more cost-effective, and more timesaving solution. If you let the fox get out of your sight, he will run off into the woods with your competition.
The Pussycat
Pronunciation:′pu-sE-≤kat
1: a carnivorous mammal (Felis catus) long domesticated as a pet and for catching rats and mice
2: one that is weak, compliant, or amiable
Matching the pussycat is extremely important. If your tendency is to be a snake, a laughing hyena, or a circus monkey, it’s time to take it down a notch. The pussycat usually talks softly, which means you need to talk softly. The pussycat gets scared easily and just hates it when the dogs play around in her office. Respect the pussycat’s space and let her know that you will do nothing to hurt her. You might even bring a little catnip in for her on occasion.
The Sheep
Pronunciation:′shEp
1: any of various ruminant mammals (genus Ovis) related to the goats but stockier and lacking a beard in the male
2: a timid defenseless creature b: a timid docile person; especially: one easily influenced or led
You need to handle that sheep a lot like the pussycat. The sheep is timid and as a result is easily frightened by the stereotypical sales rep. Be
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careful about the tone of your voice, and respect the sheep’s personal space. One good quality about the sheep is that once he trusts you, he is easily influenced.
The Scapegoat Pronunciation:′gOt
1: goat: any of various hollow-horned ruminant mammals (especially of the genus Capra) related to the sheep but of lighter build and with back- wardly arching horns, a short tail, and usually straight hair
2: scapegoat—one that bears the blame for others
Scapegoats exist in every company. These are the downtrodden that you see mulling the halls of your customer’s facility. The scapegoat is blamed for everything that goes wrong and often has a chip on her goat shoulder. As a result, the scapegoat will often share valuable information.
It is important, however, that you weed through what you hear and not buy into everything that is said. Be empathetic with the scapegoat, but don’t get pulled into any office politics. Let the scapegoat know that she can trust you and try to brighten her day every now and then.