The subject line is the first opportunity you have to make an impression on your prospect/reader. Make it a good one. The trick is to be able to write a subject line that is enticing, yet at the same time not so enticing that the offer sounds com- pletely out of reach—as in the case of most spam e-mail. (Typical spam subject line: “Earn $40,000 a month in your spare time!” You can almost always spot the unsolicited e-mails—even before you actually open them—just based on subject lines such as these.)
Think of it this way: You have mere seconds—probably less than three total—to impress the recipient so much that she is persuaded to open the e-mail.
In fact, many people have compared the subject line to the catchy headline or teaser on an envelope. Actually, that’s not a bad analogy because both the subject line and the headline have the same purpose—to persuade people to read further.
So the idea is to grab the reader’s attention without coming across as a spammer. Therein lies the challenge. Your best bet? Stay clean, write tight, do not be too provocative, and demonstrate a benefit that is realistic. And remember—
you only have about 30 to 40 characters, including spaces (about five to eight words), to show your stuff. Most e-mail programs will only display a limited amount of space in their preview window, which is the area that the reader sees be- fore she opens her e-mail. So make it good. Pack your best wallop—your biggest benefit, your most interesting statement, your most enticing teaser—into those first few words. You also may want to follow one or more of the approaches below.
The direct approach. Unless a “cutesy” tone truly fits your offering, as well as your audience, do not try to be cute or funny. State the facts. If it’s an ac- quisitions promotion, who are you and what, exactly, is your outstanding offer? A subject line need not be overtly clever to be effective. Take a look at two very suc- cessful and long-lasting headlines from the direct mail world, both written in a matter-of-fact (yet compelling) style:
• We’re looking for people to write children’s books (Institute of Children’s Literature)
• A Perfect Cup of Coffee. (Gevalia Kaffe)
The two above are brilliant in their simplicity. The first works (and has con- tinued to work for decades) because it appeals to writers of all kinds. The headline contains a need, and any author or author-in-waiting would love to find out more about an organization that could potentially need him. What author wouldn’t? If this were a subject line, in all likelihood, only the “We’re looking for people to
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91write . . .” would be visible in most e-mail programs’ previewing windows. But that is all right—that is the most inviting piece of the sentence.
The Gevalia example immediately tells the reader if he reads on, he can ex- pect to find out either how to make or how to get a perfect cup of coffee. Coffee lovers around the world are bound to want to learn more. The key to this approach is to entice in a no-nonsense manner.
The benefits approach. No matter what approach you use (whether it’s one or a combination of several), you should always strive to weave a benefit into your subject line. Entice people to read further by the possible benefits the subject line promises. In other words, if they have a problem or a desire that you can pro- vide a solution for, then they will yearn to hear more. Take a look at two solid headlines—one was the envelope headline in a very well-known Literary Guild direct mail package. The second was used as a subject line in Quicken.com’s e-mailed newsletter:
• We’re going to spoil you! (Literary Guild)
• More Ways to Make the Most of Your Money (Quicken.com)
Each is effective in its own way. Both offer a promise of rich rewards. It is that promise that is the draw for the readers.
The question approach. Questions work because they involve the reader.
As they read the question, they inadvertently try to answer it in their own heads.
• Do you have what it takes to be a millionaire? (Hume Publishing)
• Want to be financially independent? (Hume again!)
The strength of the question approach, of course, boils down to the answer. Again, benefits are alluded to with the use of this approach.
The teaser approach. When you’re promoting content, as in the case of online or offline publishers, teaser subject lines are easy to incorporate because you can use your most interesting tidbits of information as part of what is not yet disclosed. Here are a few good teasers from a couple of well-known publishers:
• What never to eat on an airplane. (Boardroom Reports)
• What credit card companies don’t tell you. (Boardroom Reports)
• Trigger your body’s own natural immunities. (Rodale Press)
• Live the (intellectual) adventure! (Levenger.com)
But teasers can also come across as campy and downright silly, if used improperly.
The key here is to make sure you can address what’s promised in the teaser.
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Permission-Based E-Mail Marketing That WorksThe cultural tie-in approach. If you can write a subject line that fits your offering, and can tie it in to a newsworthy or popular piece of information from the outside world, you can grab attention. For instance, Stamps.com came up with a timely subject line right around the time when the television show Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? reached its height of popularity. The subject line read, “Is that your final answer?”—host Regis Philbin’s famous one-liner in the show.
The personalized approach. This approach could, of course, be used with any of the other approaches above. With the right software or solutions provider (which we will learn about in future chapters), you can add a name or some other customized piece of information to your house e-mail promotions. It can certainly go a long way in drawing attention, but may lose its staying power as more and more marketers take advantage of this approach.
As you think of new and creative one-liners for your subject line, think in terms of what would most entice your prospects—your target audience—to open and read on. Depending on your market, you may want to use a customized ver- sion of one of the ideas below:
• Your Gift Certificate Is in This E-mail. This contains a benefit (the gift cer- tificate) and it also arouses curiosity (what is the gift certificate for?).
• Reply Within 5 Days And . . . As long as it’s clear who the sender is, this approach can be used quite effectively. The use of ellipses in a subject line provokes the recipient to read further to see how the sentence ends.
• How to Have ____ [fill in the blank] Forever. This is definitely a teaser, yet it holds the promise of some (hopefully) terrific benefit. The reader is moved to read on to find out how to get that benefit.
• Is Your [Wife, Mother-in-Law, Boss, etc.] Driving You Nuts? Here’s Help . . . This one presents a problem, and the offer is the solution. It also can hit the right buttons, emotionally speaking, with certain people. And, as we saw earlier, emotional buttons can be hot buttons.
Of course, if all else fails and you’re promoting an e-commerce offering, you can always go back to the tried-and-true—that is, the discount/special/coupon/$$
off approach. But think about this: When 90 percent of the commercial e-mail that you receive touts “$20 off . . .” and “Save 10% on your next . . .”, doesn’t that somehow lessen the value of these types of offers? Be creative. Think in terms of true benefits, aside from any cost savings.
Here are two more (and remember these because we’ll take a look at the re- mainder of the copy later in this chapter):
• “YOUR CHILD can STAR in an amazing sports highlights video—FREE”
• “Welcome Artisans . . . Your First Sale Is On Us”
9 / Copywriting for E-mail: Best Practices