4.6. What are the barriers to CSA disclosure?
4.6.1. Barriers to disclosure: Contexts and processes which hinder disclosure
4.6.1.9. Culture
Responses often identified the inculcation of respect in children as a major hindrance.
P3 referred to it as often going overboard:
P3: Respect to the point where it goes overboard. In culture we have to respect.
P8: Sometimes the child does not disclose because they are scared that they have to respect an adult…
P7: …for us Africans that does. We’re told we cannot speak badly about adults.
P8: Culture, because children are taught that you don’t, uhm, lie. Let’s start there.
Because the person who normally rapes a child starts off by grooming the child. And then they say, “I’ll say you touched me to your mother.” So, when the child tells the mother it’ll be as if they are lying about an uncle, stepfather or father.
P9: Growing up knowing that it is not good to discuss family issues with strangers, in other cases its showing respect to elders and they are afraid to bring shame to the family. They call it ichilo.
Two participants’ responses brought up the issue of emotionally neglecting children.
It can then make one unapproachable, hence leading to children have a hard time telling parents who have created a rift about what may have happened.
P5: Mostly we as Africans, we are always pushing our careers rather than giving time to your child to bond emotionally.
P3: It happens even with those wealthy families, even if their child can dress up so well, but to find out the mother doesn’t have time for kids. Even their homework,
they’ll go to school without doing their homework, so they are being cared for physically but emotionally they are also neglected.
P5: Sometimes we as Africans, we are not that supportive to our children… be approachable, don’t always scream at your child. I’m not saying you mustn’t discipline your child now and then, but be approachable.
Cultural practices vary and can put undue pressure on parents and children. A
participant illustrated the denial which could be expressed by parents wanting their child not to be seen as not being a virgin by the community:
P8: … “Yes, she was raped but I want to know if she’s a virgin.” … The doctor can’t find what’s called iso [the hymen or eye], and they can’t at all find what parents see.
Even if it’s the one we see in rural areas where the doctor can’t spot that.
Interviewer: So, what has happened? What are they trying to confirm? Other than that the child is a virgin. Is it for them culturally for themselves? Or for the child?
P8: I think it’s cultural. More especially a child that goes to virginity testing. They emphasise that, “Okay, we hear you, but please, confirm for us if she is a virgin or not!” Of which the doctor cannot do that because it’s another victimisation.
If the child was not ready to disclose their sexual activities to parents then the practice of virginity testing was not one which was welcome. Consequently, some children may have alleged that they had been raped to escape their parents’ anger.
P7: I feel virginity testing has been a part of forced disclosure, the reason being that you find that with a child parents suspect that something happened, and once you’re told you’ll go for virginity testing the child then says, “No! I was raped.”
A participant explained how some children who had been going for virginity testing for years were often no longer tested over time. This was because it was known they were not
sexually active and that had not changed. However, as this extract explains, some children can fall targets to rape and then fear reporting the incident due to stigmatisation:
P3: …. They continue going with the others, giving the impression that she is a virgin but she is not a virgin. But they are scared to say, because when they are being tested, it will be seen… you find that they no longer get tested because they are known. So you’ll find that a person will take advantage of that child. So, because the child is [virginity] tested, they cannot disclose because they will become a joke to the community.
P7: The child will get raped and it will be said that, “She has bad luck”, “It’s for the ancestors”, “They should not be arrested”, “Let it be a family matter”, or “If they are going to pay with a goat then there is no case.”
P8: There are cultural practices which do not allow a woman to have a voice… it oppresses woman even if they are raped by a member of the church no-one will believe them. And no one will say anything because it’s practiced that you have to respect, respect.
P9: Coming-of-age rituals which are performed for females in our culture require you to be a virgin, so therefore for girls they fear to be excluded from a certain privilege or churches where group of females fear being excluded from a privilege and that would make them feel inferior.
P10: … culturally something that hinders their disclosure is like they will say maybe if it’s a neighbour’s son. That the boy’s father will give a cow for the damages that he raped a child and then that’s it! And not caring about the child feels or how is it going to affect the child as they grow older.