4. FINDINGS
4.3. Obstacles to emerge: Contextual factors
4.3.2. Gender
The differences between the genders is implicitly understood by most of the trainee psychologists yet there is a struggle to articulate accurately what these differences are regarding discussing sexual health. These implied rules appear to dictate what activities are deemed
75 permissible for each gender as well the appropriateness of discussing sexual health according to gender.
Participant 2 (male): Talking to a female it's like crossing a boundary.
Participant 1 (female): I just think people generally get together when they’re near similar ages, so this is going through my mind, not that I have any expectation to date the client.
Interviewer: So is it the expectation that if you’re talking about sex that he might think that it’s an invitation.
Participant 1: Yes, I think it’s me and how I have grown up and how I’ve learnt things to be.
Interviewer: And how is that? How have you learnt things to be?
Participant 1: Me and my family environment and my friends, nothing specific.
Interviewer: Is it gender roles?
Participant 1: Yes I suppose you can say that.
Interviewer: That maybe it’s difficult for females to talk about that kind of thing?
There is a general sense that it is easier to engage in a conversation about sexual health within the same gender and does not pose as much of a threat or risk as it does when discussing the topic with the opposite gender.
Participant 2 (male): But if it is man to man then that wouldn’t be as much of a problem because you could just talk about it, whatever they are experiencing. … Because maybe as a male to male we can like relate because we've got the same sort of opinion. I mean this is generalisation but….because as guys we would have the same kind of opinions and ideas about sex and obviously that differs greatly from females so with a male there is that sort of connection before.
So it's more familiar, it's easier for us to, there's the same knowledge.
Participant 1 (female): Probably I think basically because it was male so it was just that much more uncomfortable, but I know he is straight and has a girlfriend so it wasn't like crossing boundaries.
Participant 5 (male): …being a male and asking a female it just makes it uncomfortable.
76 The powerful discourses and beliefs attached to gender and sexual health is accurately described by a participant who expressed shock at her stereotyped way of viewing sex in relation to gender.
During the interview she expressed her horror at these limited views related to the topic.
Participant 11 (female): With a man you don't want to feel like you are crossing boundaries…
Interviewer: What are you concerned about?
Participant 11: Um …asking things that are not going to be offensive
Interviewer: You don’t feel that asking around other sensitive topics is offensive? They don’t seem to hold the same energy as sexual issues?
Participant 11: Recently there was a man in the hospital…at my placement site. He was paralysed from the waist down and I felt so sorry for him…I was so uncomfortable to see him there…you know…not being able to…have sex. I almost thought for a second… it would have been better if it had been a woman.
Interviewer: What was it that made you feel uncomfortable?
Participant 11: I don’t know…it's weird, but as a man…you know men, they have girlfriends…I can't believe I am actually saying this…but
Interviewer: Do you feel it would not have been as bad for a woman to be paralysed? You don’t think you would have felt sorry for her no longer being able to have sex?
Participant 11: No…I don’t know why but a man needs to have sex to be a man. A man kind of equals a penis and equals sex. Women ignore it…and hope it [sex] will go away.
Closely linked to the conversation above, one participant felt more at ease discussing sexual health with a male client due to the commonly held belief that men being more sexual will engage in the topic more easily.
Participant 7 (female): My personal opinion, I find that question to be much more easily asked to males, I’m not sure why, but I think they are much more open to talking about their sexual lives.
The beliefs related to gender and the implicitly understood rules of engagement are so forceful and prevalent in the therapy room that one participant's homosexual orientation was less of a threat to the therapy process than was the heterosexual-rules-of-engagement discourse.
77 Interviewer: Because sexuality can sometimes be taboo to talk about as you said with this man, being the same age, it becomes awkward so what about it that makes it awkward?
Participant 9 (female) : Well that’s quite weird to tell you because I’m gay so it was weird for me because you would think that it would be the opposite,, because you would think if I was asking a female it would be awkward but I think because he was a white male.
One participant succinctly summarises the findings of how the obstacle of gender invades the therapy setting:
Participant 5 (male): Well I think when you look at it, it shouldn’t be difficult but for me I can relate to a male there is less discomfort I think it’s just cross gender followed by society but it shouldn’t, there are things that you shouldn’t discuss with females and things you can discuss with males.