3.2 DISCUSSION .1 Observation
3.2.2 Interviews with elders .1 Religious perspective
During the process of collecting the lexical terms mentioned above, males in the rural area were also very helpful since most of them are well aware of the linguistic avoidances prescribed for their wives. Some men even confessed to reporting their wives to their parents if they forgot to hlonipha.
The interviews were then conducted after the observations had been done. It was hoped that the interviews would shed light on other issues that could not be probed during observation.
3.2.2 Interviews with elders
receives greater blessing the more one shares. As a result, hospitality also plays an important role within the Zulu culture. One is expected to welcome and entertain one's guest with open arms without ever considering this to be an imposition. Therefore, it is not uncommon for the host to insist that the guest partake in a meal even though he/she was not expected. In days gone by, a man would even slaughter a beast for unexpected guests, and this would in turn make him highly respected in the community.
Within this framework, the scriptures emphasize the importance of respecting one's elders (one of the ten commandments) and also stipulate that wives have to respect then- husbands. In order to respect God, one has to first learn to respect one's parents and other elders. According to the scriptures, the elders also have an important role to play since it is their responsibility to instill good morals and values in their children. In so doing, they have to be role models, leading by example.
3.2.2.2 Cultural Perspective
From the cultural perspective, the interviewees (those who are 60+) confirmed that age, social distance and gender play a significant role in hlonipha. For example, a child is not allowed to backchat his/her parents. On the one hand, the wife is not allowed to backchat her husband but on the other hand, the same is not said about the husband. The authority given to elders is such that a child is not permitted to correct or oppose their views.
Children are also not permitted to participate in discussions among adults. If a child participates in such discussions without formally being asked to do so by an adult, he/she is considered to be exhibiting rude behavior and also being disrespectful towards elders.
Moreover, children are not permitted to address elders simply by their forenames, but to
have to prefix it by terms such as aunt, uncle, brother or sister. For example, one refers to ones elder brother as Ubhuti (brother), and sister as Usisi (sister).
Associated with the above is the importance that Zulu people place on preserving the image of the family. For example, the woman who does not respect her husband as well as in-laws, not only embarrasses her husband's family but her family as well. That is why when she gets married, women who are elders, including her relatives, will emphasize the following to her: 'Ungasiphoxi emzini' (meaning, do not disappoint us).
From the above, one understands that within Zulu families, males play a dominant role, with the husband generally making all the major decisions. The father-in-law makes major decisions if they live on the same premises. Wives are not involved in discussions about family matters unless invited to do so. Daughters-in-law do not enter the bedroom of the in-laws. If she needs to speak with her father-in-law about something, she will ask the mother-in-law to do so on her behalf. This is further confirmed by Herbert (1990:
462), when he states that the relationship between the daughter-in-law and her father-in- law and other senior male relatives whose names she avoids is not reciprocal. Generally speaking, respect and avoidance are shown only by the daughter-in-law.
The interviewees were also asked to discuss the significance of social status in the target community. They were unanimous that within the cultural value system there is a divide.
Professionals such as doctors and lawyers are generally accorded a higher status than persons holding lower occupations, like administrative clerks or factory workers.
Teachers in the rural areas are still held in such high esteem that it is the wish of the majority of parents for their children to grow up and become teachers. Previously, people who owned cattle were accorded high status, but very few people own cattle these days.
Interviewees agreed that the impact of social status is less significant if the person is a woman who has succeeded outside her customary domain, for example, as a doctor or owner of a business, as compared to being an ordinary teacher. In both urban and rural areas, men still share the belief that if your wife is more educated than you are or brings home more money than you do, then she will not respect you. This is also as a result of the preconceived notion of the roles and expectations of women.
Within the extended family system there are prescribed norms of behavior: for example, the daughter-in-law should not engage in an informal discussion with her father-in-law. If the husband is sitting with his friends or other members of the family, the wife should not come and sit with them unless asked to do so. If the children need something from their father, such as money for school, the mother should speak for them because they should grow up knowing that the father is a figure of respect. The husband will only be respected by members of the community if he receives respect from his family. Although all children are taught respect (both boys and girls), more emphasis is placed on the girl because it is believed that she will eventually get married and leave the family homestead to live with another family. Similarly, in the urban area children are still taught respect but more emphasis is placed on girls.
The issue of respect in interpersonal relationships was felt to be an indicator of a strong commitment to traditional cultural values. Almost every one of the interviewees dwelt at length on the key importance of isiHlonipho in interpersonal relationships, especially in inter-generational relationships. There was also general agreement that respect was lacking in the modern township context, as the following quotation indicates:
"Kunomahluko omkhulu kabi phakathi kwendlela esakhula ngayo thina amakhaya
sihloniphe omdala nomncane kodwa izingane azisamazi umuntu omdala nomncane".
(Mr Mvuseni)
There is a great difference between how we grew up in the rural area, and how these young ones are growing up. At home we were taught to respect the young and adults alike. What I notice now is that the young ones don't do that, they don't care whether a person is young or an adult.
One of the interviewees(Mr Gudi) who is an ex-teacher and was a card-carrying member of a certain political organization, went as far as saying that his party was so concerned about the decline of respect that they decided to incorporate it in one of the subjects taught in schools at that time.
The interviewees also unanimously agreed on the issue of the need to maintain one's face in the broader community. The isiZulu LI speaking respondents spoke of 'isithunzV (dignity). If a person behaves in a manner which is not in keeping with the norms of his/her group/community, this is referred to as 'ukuzehlisa isithunzi' or 'lowering one's dignity'. This discussion implies that the concept of face in the isiZuhx LI speaking community is significantly different to that in Western societies, in the sense that greater emphasis is placed on the face associated with the collective image of the individual.
Therefore, in order to maintain face one has to conform to the norms of behaviour of the group/society, rather than to live up to one's own expectations. (De Kadt,1998: 185).
It can be concluded from the discussion thus far that the factors that make a profound contribution to the understanding and management of the politeness phenomena (Hlonipha) in the isiZahx LI speaking community, are age, social status, distance, gender of the participants, as well as the context in which the interaction occurs.
Interviews were also done with married women from urban and rural areas. These interviews were conducted in isiZulu since most of the interviewees felt comfortable with their mother tongue. However, I indicated to them that they may use English as well if they wanted to. With the permission of the interviewees, notes were taken during the interview. Hence, when writing up my analysis I was able to make use of the notes effectively.