CHAPTER FOUR FINDINGS
4.7 The role of significant others in disclosure
4.7.6 Outcomes of disclosure for the participants
Participants felt less burdened after they had disclosed their HIV status to significant others. Moreover, participants had also reacted in a very suggestive manner as they
advised significant others to go for a HIV test. Specifically, after participants had disclosed to their partners, they began to negotiate safer sex practices within their relationship.
Reducing stress, feelings of relief
It is generally agreed upon by all the participants that they felt a sense of relief and reduced stress levels after they had disclosed their HIV status. Participants also argued that they were able to overcome the burden of carrying the disease in effect they were able to share their HIV status with others. In addition, participants also argued that they were able to set an example because they were able to show significant others that they can survive with the disease.
P1: But now when I tell them, I feel free now. I was stressed because I was thinking about being HIV positive. And I felt that I wasn't free. I felt a lot of fear as well.
P2: But I feel happy because when the people can see that I am HIV positive and I give the person the living hope. I give the person the living hope. When I tell people I am giving hope to myself and others and I can feel myself again.
P3: I was relieved, I was relieved because they were the first they are my first priority my family is my first priority and then my friends they become second.
Advice to significant others about VCT
Participants advised significant others to go for an HIV test, as they believed that having knowledge of one‟s status has the potential to lead a healthier lifestyle and exercise control over their lives. Interestingly, participants stated that partners that had a difficult time accepting the advice from the participants.
P1: I advised her to go and she said that she would go and now she didn't go. She said she'll go she'll go and she keeps on saying ya, next week next week.
P2: I tell them you must go to the doctor to get a HIV test and they say no I am not going there they are screaming everything and say no so sometimes I….
P3: there are many many people that when I see them I talk to them and I ask them do you have a test and they say no, and I say why and they say no I am not going there I am worried. I say no you must go to the hospital and you can found out and the doctor he can monitor your situation.
Negotiation of safe sex
It was evident that the participants were able to negotiate safe sex with their partners.
Participants also took it upon themselves to ensure that their partners were protected by either using a condom or by not having penetrative sex. Although the participants stated that they always had protected sex, some of partners were ambivalent as they wanted flesh-to-flesh contact.
P1: It is a very difficult part, yes I am able now but it started very difficult because everytime when we negotiated the sexual part of it, she always tell me she always ask me is that going to be the thing for the rest of our life that is where we are getting stressed. That is where we get stressed out because now we no more enjoy natural as well so we feel she feels that it is no more natural because it is like taking a sweet with it's cover…
P2: as well that is what she always tell me and we look at the issue of having children as well we look at… and all that and that is the worst part that we are facing so we are no more enjoying sex.
P3: I say it how can now if we sleep we don't have a protected sex if you use a condom because sometimes she is sick sometimes I am sick sometimes if we are using a protected sex we can protect each other from the disease if we are sick we can use condom to protect us. But she doesn't worry about using the condom. She is right with the condom.
Within a personal level, reducing stress, feeling a sense of relief, the advice given to significant others, and negotiation of safe sex points out that participants had a positive orientation towards disclosure. This shows evidence that participants felt little or no regret upon disclosure.
Significant others that the participants want to disclose too
Participants had prioritized the need to disclose to mainly their children and mother.
P1: Ya, for now because I can tell my mother, I got the most about the most problem about telling my mother about that...
P2: I know that there is a time that I have to tell her that I am sick but the time is not now. I want to her to I'll tell her maybe if she is 12 years I can tell her because at the moment she is doing grade 4 standard 3 ya or grade 5 maybe if she is in grade 8 when she is bigger.
The difference in age appears to be another significant factor that suggests that the process of HIV disclosure is continuous. In other words, participants are still making decisions about those individuals that they would like to disclose to in the future.