Giddens (1991) describes self-identity in the post-traditional world as a "reflexive project." The employment of the word "project" in this description is salient in its rejection of self-identity as being fixed or static, but rather as an individual task that requires reflection, creativity and an ability to integrate ideas of the selfwith changes in the socio-historical context for its construction. These features are evidenced in Paganism where individuals are active agents in the construction of their identities;
rejecting those prescribed according to categories of familial association and mainstream discourses, and those that are transmitted through state institutions and dominant ideologies. This section will explore notable features in the adoption of a personal Pagan identity, the creative and adaptive nature of this process, and the importance and role of narrative in these endeavours. Attention is given to the influences the socio-historical context has on the construction and development of these narratives.
CHAPTER FIVE
FEATURES IN THE CONSTRUCTION OF A PERSONAL PAGAN IDENTITY
PERSONAL IDENTITIES
When modem Pagans use the term "I am a Pagan", they indicate their personal identification and resonance with a term that has held diverse, at times pejorative, meanings throughout history. Behind the reclamation of the term lies a variety of self-understandings. As there are multiple forms to modem Paganism and often equally as many options for belief and practice within each form or tradition, it is important to avoid an over-complication of these issues when unpacking what individuals mean when they self-identify as Pagans, the processes by which they reach this affirmation, and how they apply this identity to themselves. In this chapter, therefore, I draw on aspects that apply to most Pagans. Identity construction is fluid and poly-dimensional, and, in the Pagan context, is constructed, deconstructed and restructured across many domains.
A personal identity is one that mirrors ideas and conceptions that an individual holds about 'the self' and is therefore self-defined. Only twelve and a half percent of my survey respondents indicated that they had first used the term 'Pagan' to describe their belief system prior to 1995. This supports my findings that despite some Pagan
activity in South Africa prior to 1994, the terms were used by only a very small minority of today's community, and then, almost exclusively in a personal capacity.
Aware of the almost ubiquitously pejorative nature of the term 'Pagan' in South
Africa, its usage was more often than not a closeted and private self-understanding.
This 'anticipation of contestation' continues to exist on a continuum that will be discussed later in more detail.
The adoption of a Pagan identity can be described as a process, and, unlike
conversionary experiences, is often described by individuals as "finding out what I was all the time." This statement is more aptly explained by Sabina Magliocco when she says in talking of Pagan leader Don Frew, "Don described Paganism as if it were somehow innate or essential, its seeds already present in childhood" (2004: 57). The process can frequently, therefore, be understood as one that looks back in time.
Memories of a time when a belief in magic was unchallenged, recollections of times of feeling at home in nature and/or a recognition of a lifetime of disjunction from the teachings of mainstream religions, are among the more common experiences used by Pagans to describe the realization of their Paganism. This particular point in personal identity construction is usually arrived at as a growing awareness that aspects of a Pagan worldview are the most succinct way of 'explaining oneself; even at the outset, if this is onlytooneself. Within the sphere of personal identity there is a degree of 'oppositionality'. As opposed to the adoption of, or conversion to, other mainstream religion, Pagans are aware of the misunderstandings and
misinterpretations that surround and are connected with much Pagan terminology.
Identity construction involves negotiation and at this level, there is negotiation with the self, and the decision to embrace these terms is, in effect, to embrace being 'other'.
Despite the processional nature of adopting a Pagan identity, most Pagans are, however, able to pinpoint quite specifically, their first conscious encounter with a Pagan world. This point is described as a result of either a deliberate search, or by one or more events (retrospectively deemed as fortuitous), the most common being an introduction to Paganism through books, the media and/or the internet, that will then inspire further investigation by that individual. Some attest to being introduced through friends, whilst others, less commonly, cite esoteric fairs or public Pagan events as the source by which they first came to Paganism. Irrespective of the route taken, the claiming of a Pagan identity almost always precedes a clear defining of this identity in terms of belief or praxis. In other words, the point of 'knowing one is a Pagan' is, in itself, the motivation for further investigation. Through the ensuing investigation the initial identity is defined, refined and, almost always, re-defined.
Paganism is almost always described as a religious tradition that has no single
spokesperson for the movement as a whole, and one that is undogmatic and devoid of prescription on either belief or practice. Exceptions to these statements will be
discussed later in this study, but their pertinence at this point, is to underscore the breadth of possibility available to an individual at the initial stages of investigation, and which are ongoing in what I call 'the Pagan journey of discovery'. The general acceptance of a lack of dogma, the wide diversity of Pagan traditions-and even within each specific tradition-and the ever-increasing volume of material available by often competing voices, provides a smorgasbord of opportunities for a newly identifying Pagan. In the face of new ideas, or dialogues with other Pagans, the individual will test these ideas against their initial understandings, and often reflect back in time for congruencies that support the continuous reassessment of their
identity. There is consequently a total lack of stasis in assuming a Pagan identity, and this can be found, not in the claiming of the term itself, but in what an individual will take this to mean at any given point in time. There are many ways in which this journey of discovery is facilitated, and, in South Africa, the primary way is through books and the internet. Local booksellers here, over the past decade, have largely increased the volume and variety of books on Paganism and/or its various traditions, and on the internet there is an almost infinite supply of information on these subjects.
Other than the New Age Movement-and even here there are certain overlaps-there is no new religious movement that has even come close to commanding such a growth in available literature. The popularization and commodification ofWicca and
Witchcraft in particular, is discussed later in the study, but it is important to note here how many options this factor provides for the development of a Pagan identity and can even be the point of entry for a vaguely interested or curious seeker. Italso supplies the newly identified Pagans with an enormous tableau from which they can draw information to reinforce their Pagan identity as well as exposing them to a myriad of alternative ideas and practices. As such, this exposure not only seems to reinforce the individual's sense of personal identity, but also can become a site of conflict and challenge as the individual encounters methods, ideas, skills and practices that are different, or even in opposition, to those initially held. A new author has the potential to expand the self-understanding a person has of their Paganism, or can facilitate a complete change in orientation.
As soon as this new identity is assumed, the process of imbuing it with meaning will begin within the individual as opposed to being imposed from outside sources. Books and the internet, as mentioned, are the primary sources for this process, but there are
others that play an important role in this phase of identity construction. A discussion of the more prevalent and important of these follows, along with ways in which this new identity is articulated to the self.
The Adoption of a 'Magical Self'
Religion and magic have, in most academic discourses, been viewed as distinct categories, but in the Pagan worldview they are often conflated, and the one is only infrequently seen as apart from the other. The scientific discourses that had emerged during the Enlightenment period influenced academic studies and discourses from the mid nineteenth century, and one of the consequences was that magic was seen as irrational, based on superstition, and on this basis was excluded from the category 'religion'.1
The reality and practice of magic is integral to most Pagan understandings of the self and the world, and is instanced in different forms ranging from the practice of the ritual and ceremonial magic of the Hermetic tradition, to the practices taken from the history of folk magic through the ages (Wallace 2000: 107). Irrespective of the form employed, Pike notes that, "Whether they believe that magic is something that happened psychologically or in the physical universe, the explanations that Neo- Pagans give for the concept of magic almost always include "change" and
"transformation'''' (200 I: 12-13).
A prevalent idea in this understanding can be attributed to the view of occultist Aleister Crowley (1875-1947) who "himself defined magic as 'the art of
communicating without obvious means' - in other words, by using one's willpower;
or, to put it in his own words, 'Magic is the Science and Art of causing Change to occur in conformity with Will'" (Booth 2000: 82). Crowley's emphasis on the centrality ofthe individual 'will' has been balanced in Pagan discourses and practices with the need to synchronize their personal energies and intent, with natural energies for the desired result. With this in mind, Pagan magical practice is usually undertaken during specific cycles of the seasons, of the moon and of other astronomical
conjunctions and configurations.
When Pagans engage in ritual practice, ideas of the self are drawn on with the express intention of bringing about change and transformation in the self, in others, or in the world. The self is the conduit for this process, a magical self who employs a variety of technologies to these ends and one where the boundaries between the different conceptions of the self are more permeable. To perform magic is to become a magical being; it is in the 'doing' that the efficacy of magic is internalized. The importance of the self as the key to this process is illustrated in the quote by Pagan practitioner and psychologist Vivienne Crowley where she says,
Magic is about creating synchronicity. Magic helps create the right conditions for you to achieve your goals, but to make it work, you must create the
necessary channels for energy to manifest on the material plane"
(2003: 18-19).
To make this connection between actions and their outcomes illustrates the reflexive tendencies found in constructing a Pagan identity. The individual, who holds certain ideas of the self, of the world, and of the efficacy of magic, will perform these ideas creatively, usually, in a ritual setting, and will then reflect on both the structure and the intentionality of this performance to assess, explain, and justify the desired
outcomes. This internal dialogue is a means of ratifying one's personal identity and of adding to the spiral of information necessary for its construction.
The adoption of magical names
Most practitioners ofWicca and Witchcraft assign themselves a magical name at some point in their journey. This point most frequently coincides with a ritual in which the individual either dedicates him or herself to honouring and following a particular god/goddess, or to whatever their conception of deity might be, or, undertakes initiation into a coven or tradition. Such dedications are usually understood to be taken for life, and are an important step in the process of the
construction of a magical self. The adoption of a magical name is an important feature in the construction of a personal identity, and its usage can be one that is private to the individual, used only with the group with whom they practice, or one that is nationally known, and occasionally, one that totally replaces the person's mundane birth name.
Through this process a Pagan creates a cognitive separation between an everyday life and a new, magical identity. Sabina Magliocco states that,
The adoption of a new name upon religious conversion or confirmation has a venerable tradition; it is common to Jewish, Christian and Islamic traditions alike, as well as to other religions...Today, the taking of a new name symbolizes the adherent's spiritual transformation, and signals the beginning of a new phase in life (2004: 65).
The power inherent in the naming of oneself cannot be undermined. It requires individuals to reflect on their new identity in order to understand where this new self is located in terms of traditions and beliefs. Most names are therefore indicative of the orientation and interests of the individual and most evolve as a combination drawn
from a wide variety of sources. The most common sources are names of gods and goddesses with whom the individual particularly identifies, animals, aspects of nature, mythology, fairytales and/or folklore and even science fiction. Names, therefore, emerge from a process of reflexivity and investigation, or even arise in a dream.
Regardless of the source(s), the name is always intensely personal and meaningful.
The power of names has long been recognized in the practice of magic, and the adoption by Pagans of sacred names underscores their identification with a Pagan, magical self. Although many international Pagan authors, for example Starhawk and Silver RavenWolf, are known exclusively by their magical names, local Pagans are often sensitive to the way these names could sound in our secular society. The process of adopting a magical name is an additional indicator of the creative and inventive nature in Pagan identity construction, and a facet that can be found within Pagan traditions themselves.
Donna 'Darkwolf Vos2told me3that she advises her students, when choosing a magical, or 'Craft' name, to concentrate on, a) what they aspire to and, b) what they believe words represent. The first point contains within itself the possibility to reinvent the self through language. For example, ifthe individual believes fear to be one of their negative characteristics, then words that symbolise courage or bravery could be incorporated into the new name and thereby into the new identity. Her own adoption of the word 'Darkwolf in her name in fact inverts this process as she admits to a longtime fear of the dark, and, by embracing this word in her chosen name, helps her, she says, to confront her worst fears face-to-face.
I have included a written account from four local Pagans, each of whom can be situated on the continuum from the complete adoption of a magical Pagan name, to the highest levels of secrecy with its usage. Although some accounts are lengthy, each in its way is an important insight into the process of self-naming in Paganism and how integrally related this process is to a personal identity. They also illustrate the
rampantly open-sourced nature of modern Paganism. Although two of these four identities are openly disclosed, one will be self-evident to many readers, and one remains anonymous by request, I have called them Name Respondents 1, 2, 3 and 4.
(The words in italics are mine. The accounts are in their own words.)
Name Respondent 1 - This person is representative ofan English tradition that claims direct hereditary lineage, and within which codes ofsecrecy require that magical names be known only to fellow coveners and close witch friends. There are absolutely no other forums where any, but the individual's legal birth name, is used.
As an initiate of a Welsh Traditional coven I am bound by its rules not to reveal my Witch name to any outside the group other than very close Witch friends. However, I can reveal that mine is the name of a bird strongly associated with various paths within western occultism, and partly chosen for that reason. In addition to European Witchcraft it has particularly strong links to the Northern Magical Tradition and also resonates (for me at least) with the darkness ofthe Left Hand Path to both of which I am strongly attracted. My Witch name reflects many aspects of my magickal
personality including the association with Nature, intelligence, light and darkness, the connection to the Otherworld, reflects my claimed Traditional Witchcraft practice and its understanding of familiars, a sense of freedom, and much else besides.
Name Respondent 2 - Although Arias is the name by which this person is known in Pagan circles, her birth name is used by non-Pagan friends and family as well as in the workplace. She therefore moves quite comfortably between the two.
I use the name "Arias Indlovu of Kemet-AfriKa" as my public Pagan name. Italso forms part of what is my "secret" ritual name. The Name "Arias" first came to me after a meditation session. I wasn't particularly looking for a name, it just came to me, I liked it and started using it. The Name "Indlovu" was a name I took to honor a friend of mine, who lost his life while helping others; to me this means that I keep his
memory alive by carrying his name with me. I later became "Arias Indlovu of AfriKa", adding the "of AfriKa" came after I stopped trying to find Home, when I realized I was in fact home, right here in Africa. I took the alternative spelling to emphasize the Spirit or Ka of the land. When I was presented with my third level within the House of Ouroborus, I added "Kemet-" to my name as part of a reference to my "secret" ritual name. Kemet is Egyptian for Black and has a multi-layered
meaning. My "Ouroborian" ritual name is divided up into perhaps 4 sections, each part revealed to a student as they progress through my Clan, leaving only the level three members with my full ritual name. I don't use this name anywhere else, other
share it. The "secret" names play an important role in the sharing and bonding I have with those who work closely with me in my Clan. Only those who have worked diligently and sincerely will know my full name. My name has power, but not the kind you may be thinking of.Ithas the power to connect, to bind, and to transform my relationship from one level to the next, like somersaulting upwards. I believe that there will most likely be a time when I will again amend my name, or even in a specific situation, will take on another altogether.
Name Respondent 3 - Donna Vos is known publicly as Donna 'DarkWolf' Vos, both in public and in Pagan circles. Her Craft name coexists in her everyday life.
I do not consider 'Darkwolf to be a name I chose, but rather one that was chosen for me. For two years before I formed the PFSA I was sick with sweats and visions, and it was already at this time that the wolf came to me as my totem animal. I was
comfortable with this as I saw the wolf to be the teacher of the animals. Adding 'dark' to the word wolf is quite strange as I have always been very afraid of the dark. Itwas in a dream that 'Darkwolf came to me; I saw this as a given name so adopted it although it has been very bad for me with public relations in South Africa. I use it in conjunction with my legal name and am referred to as Donna 'Darkwolf Vos, a name that reflects who I am, allows me to embrace my shadow-side and to confront my fears.
Name Respondent 4 - Fey's adoption ofher magical name has almost totally
superceded her birth name, even to herself. More than just a magical name, it reflects a complete and self-initiated name change. Only her closest family and friends from her youth use her birth name.
Itis not my first magickal name, but one came to me in 1998. Prior to this my magickal name was Thulani, meaning peaceful one, but this didn't ever quite feel right. Also people in the USA did not understand it's meaning, so when I was asked to be a moderator on mIRC in the chatroom #Wicca I called myselfWoodwitch. The name Fey Fand was, I believe, magickally given to me when I acquired a set of Faery Wicca tarot cards. Every time I did a reading, Fand the Faery Queen, Banrion of Uisce, came up representing me. Close friends started to call me Fey Fand before I introduced myself to the Goddess as this. According to Irish legend, she was married to Mannanan Mac Lir, Ard Ri ofUisce and the son of the Irish sea god Lir. Fey Fand is described as artistic and imaginative, receptive, romantic and affectionate and to quote from "Faery Wicca Tarot" by Kisma K Stepanich "spirituality actively
supported by the emotional nature of masculine force in life; the female body; in the autumn of life; a mature woman between age thirty and death; woman's intuition flowing; the psychic's card... " In Scottish tradition the meaning of the word "Fey"
means "off with the faeries; psychic; with second sight". According to the Oxford English Dictionary it also means "close to death". I relate to all these descriptions. I birth a huge amount of information in dreams and my intuition is very strong.
Together with my third (secret) magickal name, Fey Fand adds up to the number 22 in numerology, the same number as my life path number, bringing balance to my life.
When I decided to start teaching Wicca and fly out of the broom closet, I decided to use my magickal name publicly. My reason for this originally was to protect my family (who are not pagans) from any discrimination, although over time they have come to accept my path. Having been adopted and already having had two separate given names, I thought it right and just that I could now choose to be known by the name which I believe fits my shape and empowers me. My name reminds me to