UKUTHWALA IN THE CONTEXT OF SOCIAL TRANSFORMATION AND OTHER CULTURAL PRACTICES
2.5. SOCIETAL PRACTICES AND RULES RELATING TO MARRIAGE
48 fulfilling his or her duty, and thus failing the group. They therefore conclude that initiation signifies the beginning of adulthood, but this status is accepted and confirmed only with marriage (Tyrrel & Jurgens, 1983, p.145).
The above accounts by various scholars emphasise that among the Zulus marriage is important for individuals and valued by all community members. These accounts are relevant for my study because they reinforce marriage as an important reason behind the practice of ukuthwala as it takes place in KZN today. However, this thesis does not deal with marriage as an institution per se; this section provides a background on Zulu marriage, its social importance and its impact on ukuthwala practice. In the introductory chapter it was highlighted that the present study incorporates Zulu culture and traditions as they apply to and are practised by the Zwelibomvu, Bergville and KwaNgcolosi communities.
49 In the following paragraphs I discuss the socialisation of children and some of the societal practices relating to marriage.
2.5.1. The socialisation of children
As discussed earlier, marriage is important among the Zulus. As a result, the concept of marriage is thus introduced to childrenearly on. At their developmental stages children are taught and mentored by older peers so as to prepare them for their adult life (Buthelezi, 2010; Msimang, 1991; Nyembezi & Nxumalo, 1995; Vilakazi, 1962). Youth leaders in Zulu societies are amaqhikiza (for females) and izingqwele, obhekeni and izinduna (for males). Traditional education among Zulus is continuous and is integrated with other life activities such as ukwelusa (cattle herding) for boys and ukukha amanzi (fetching of water) and ukutheza (fetching of wood) for girls. The education intensifies during ceremonies and celebrations that mark the different developmental stages and integrate nature, the living and the dead, for example, umkhuliso (the celebration done when a child reaches puberty).
Children are socialised in a manner that prepares them for motherhood or fatherhood;
this socialisation is reinforced by gender roles ascribed for boys and for girls. For example, girls are socialised to fetch water and wood, cook and wash clothes, while boys are socialised to herd cattle, plough and be able to fight. However, these gender roles are not totally exclusive. Depending on the context and the situation in each family, some boys do the cooking and fetching of wood and some girls engage in ploughing and cattle herding, in which case they will also learn to fight. The main emphasis is that the last stage in a person’s life is that of marriage. Therefore, as Krige claims, Zulu children are brought up and prepared for future adult life in their marriages.
However, young people are assisted all the way by youth leaders to determine the stage at which they may enter into love relationships, the choosing of the right partner and managing relationships (Msimang, 1991).
50 Therefore, in Zulu culture a person’s life is not only his concern but also that of other people, both within his or her family as well as outside of it, particularly youth leaders.
As such, and as Msimang (1991) argues, marriage is not just a matter between the couple concerned, but rather a matter between the two families involved, and this includes the ancestors(Msimang, 1991, p.250). Nyembezi and Nxumalo (1996, p.119), further state that marriage among the Zulus means that a woman moves from her home to enter into a new home (with her husband’s family). When she gets married, she is married to a family. The family, rather than only her husband, takes care of her.
She is thus incorporated into the new family and reported to the ancestors of that family. Therefore the old Zulu expression that “ingcwaba lentombi lisemzini”
emphasises that once married, a woman will belong to the new family for the rest of her life. The new family is responsible to ensure her welfare, health and security. In the event that the husband becomes deceased,the family’s obligation still stands. Hence isiko lokungena umfazi kamfowenu uma eseshonile (levirate marriage).5 If the man who is marrying the widow is already married, and has no other brother, it means he will be a polygamist and the widow will be his second wife. However, both women have to consent to the levirate marriage. If the man is not married, it means the widow will be his first wife and when the man decides to get married to another woman later on, then the second woman will knowingly and willingly involve herself into a polygamous marriage. However, the widow has a choice to get married for the second time from outside her husband’s family. However, if this happens, ilobolo goes to her deceased husband’s family and not to the widow’s maiden surname. Children from the second widow’s wedlock belong to her deceased husband. Reason being, it is a common understanding that a woman gets married to keep her husband’s lineage.Furthermore, if the woman gets divorced, the husband is still liable for her welfare, health, security
5 The practice of marrying the widow of one's childless brother or even if she has children in order to maintain his line, as required by the custom.
51 and for her sexual desires, hence her husband gives her a plot of land and build her a house nearby her in-laws. If the woman is found to have commited adultery she is sent back to her home to come back with inkomo yenhlawulo ( a penalty cow) but will never be chased away from her marriage family. If the new family ignores the woman’s welfare, health and security then the woman suffers in silence and has to have a say in the proper platform convened by men and which is male headed for her to air out her tension using ukuhlonipha (respect) if she is lucky to have such an opportunity. For example, if the husband no longer have sexual intercourse with her, she may say ukhezo alusaphaki (the spoon does not dish up anymore), then her audience will know exactly what she is talking about. In gendered terms,in this context, marriage becomes the oppressor to women as men are privileged than women in patriarchal Zulu communities. In this context, girls grow up knowing that in one way or the other, they belong to their husbands to death. However, culture is not static, but dynamic. It is therefore, important to note at this stage that the Zulu culture under discussion is still taking place as I describe it, at least in the deep rural areas of Zwelibomvu, Bergville and KwaNgcolosi. However, in the urban areas and some rural areas where social development has occurred, this way of life has changed with time; for example, some women are just incorporated into the new family without being reported to the ancestors when they get married. However, some families still fulfill all/most/some cultural rites even as they live in urban areas.
2.5.2. Practices relating to marriage
As discussed above, in traditional Zulu culture a person’s life is a concern of the family and society. Since marriage is valued, the society ensures that young people get their life partners and that an individual chooses the right person as a life partner (a husband or wife), and the society developed certain practices to ensure this. Ukuthwala (which I discuss later) is one such practice. Below is a brief description of some other such practices.
52 Ukweshelela
Zulu culture allows a man to court a woman for his brother, friend or relative. This happens when a man is either too shy to speak to a woman, or has some form of disability, or is just unsuccessful with women – then his brothers, sisters or relatives propose love on his behalf to the woman of his choice.
Ukukhipha isinyama ngobulawu
In traditional Zulu culture and even today it is not a shame to use umuthi (herbs).
Anybody who believes in herbalists or traditional Zulu medicine may visit a trusted inyanga (herbalist) or a Zulu herbal chemist to get treatment for isidina or isinyama (a condition where a person is not liked by other people for no apparentreason),or to get medicines which are used as treatment for good luck with love relationships. It was customary for a young man to cleanse himself with appropriate herbs before going out courting a woman (Bryant, cited in Krige, 1965).
Ukuphosa / izizwe
Vilakazi (1962)contended that socially, the girl who accepted a young man as a lover, even for a short time, boosted his ego and gave him status. He further contended that the Zulu way of putting it is “umenze umuntu”, that is, she had made a human being of him by recognising him as an adult personality and as a man. However, Vilakazi (1962, p.50) asserted that:
To fail to win a woman is to be a social failure (ishimane or isigwadi) and it is to be cursed with a social stigma which, in its effects, is worse than an organic disease. Young men usually break down under its strain and may even get afflicted with ufufunyane (a condition similar to hysteria), or behave as if they were mentally deranged.
Vilakazi (1962, p.51) maintained that whatever a man ultimately blamed for his failures in love, he suffered much social and psychological pain, for he had failed to get confirmation of his manhood from women. Therefore, to avoid social stigma and to boost their egos as well as to attain social approval and status, Msimang (1991) states
53 that izishimane / izigwadi used medicine to bewitch the woman they love so that she goes to the man herself; this is called ukuphosa. This is not a practice that is approved by society because it is believed to be witchcraft.