upon with the negotiating partner previous to the actual negotiation. This proce-dural approach should become second nature to all purchasers.
communication problems may turn up. According to this model, every message has four sides generally (see Fig.8.4):
• Factual information: It delivers the facts and contents of the information.
• Self-revelation: What do I reveal of myself? This aspect delivers hints of my thoughts and feelings as well as of my understanding of my role.
• Relationship: How is my relation to the receiver of the message? This aspect delivers hints concerning my relation to that person and what I think of him/her.
• Appeal: What do I want the other to do, accept, or understand? This aspect is about the influence I want to exert on the receiver and which wishes, advices, or acting instructions I want to give him/her.
Misunderstandings often originate from the fact that the sender wants to address a specific side with this message while the receiver notices another side.
For illustration, a simple example from everyday purchasing activities may be chosen. During a purchasing negotiation, the purchaser says: “The offered price is too high.” Now, there are several possibilities how the supplier may understand this sentence.
Taken as factual information, he or she will simply understand that the offered price is considered too high. Maybe, there are other providers offering cheaper prices, or maybe the offered price is really beyond the predetermined target price of the purchaser.
If, however, the message is taken as a self-revelation of the purchaser, the supplier will begin to draw conclusions regarding the personal motivations of the sentence: Maybe, the purchaser wants to distinguish himself by pressing out the last Cent in order to make an impression with his superiors. If the message is understood this way, the supplier’s reaction will be neutral or even negative.
If the message is understood on the relationship level, the supplier might begin to consider the given business relationship. Maybe, the purchaser and the supplier have been business partners for long years and the purchaser wanted to give hints on
Factual Information
(what I inform)
Self-revelation
(What do I reveal of myself)
Appeal
(What do I want the other to do, accept or
understand)
Relationship
(How is my relation to the receiver of the message) Fig. 8.4 The communication
square by Schulz von Thun
the competitors’ price calculations. But it may also be that the purchaser has no interest in any further cooperation and wants the negotiation to fail.
If understood as an appeal, the supplier could feel prompted to lower his price and make a new offer immediately.
Thus, there are four perspectives that—depending on the actual situation—will allow numerous conclusions as to how the message should be understood. This pattern illustrates that communication will in all cases be unsuccessful when the receiver understands another side of the message than that intended by the sender.
But people who know that these four sides exist can—in cases in which a misun-derstanding has occurred—try to find out whether the receiver has understood the side of the message one had intended or—vice versa—whether one (as receiver) has understood the side of the message the sender had intended. For in many cases, one reacts angrily or with disappointment on words uttered by a colleague or business partner only on the grounds of having understood the false side of the message.
8.3.2 Nonverbal Communication
According to Paul Watzlawick’s well-known theory, it is impossible to “not communicate”. Communication does always happen when persons take notice of each other since all human behaviour has a communicative nature. That means that human beings are always communicating nonverbally by facial expressions, gestures, or visual signs.
Nonverbal communication is the oldest form of interpersonal understanding and is normally already mastered by newborn babies. By this means, human beings either express their feelings and emotions or support the content of a verbalised message. The range of interpretation may differ widely, and in all cases a situation-related, objective view is called for. Nevertheless, it is still useful to know some fundamental rules of nonverbal communication and to respect them:
Etiquette encompasses an adequate behaviour and a fitting appearance within a given social situation. The social situation considered here will normally be the meeting with a supplier. A purchaser who looks untidy in such a context will not only cause repudiation but does also demonstrate a low esteem of his negotiation partner. Tardiness and an inadequate attire will also convey the impression that the purchaser does not consider the meeting to be of greater importance.
Eye contact is one of the most important means of nonverbal communication.
With it, the hearer signals interest and gives the speaker a feedback as to whether the spoken words have been understood, while on the other hand the speaker by means of eye contact adds authority to his/her message and underlines its impor-tance. A long eye contact can also cause different reactions by the negotiation partner: It may signal sympathy or importance, but the partner may also feel being cornered or intimidated. Staring is always perceived as impolite, uncomfortable, and derogatory.
Gestures are communicative moves of hands, arms, shoulders, and the head.
These moves serve to underline, intensify, regulate, or replace verbal messages.
Normally, these gestures occur naturally and spontaneously, for instance by using the hand to underline the importance of an argument or by counting with the fingers while giving an enumeration. Gestures should never convey the impression of being unnatural or forced, and they should be appropriate to the contents of the message.
Perceived discrepancies of this kind can signal insecurity or poor credibility. The negative effect is often aggravated by scratching one’s neck or nose and by avoiding eye contact. Since gestures are often used spontaneously and naturally, they need not necessarily be in accordance with the contents of the words. Rubbing one’s hands may for instance convey pleasant anticipations, while scratching one’s head may convey insecurity or embarrassment. Putting one’s hand together will however signal ease and self-assurance.
Facial expressions mean visible movements of the face and are considered emotional forms of expressing one’s moods or affects. Facial expressions thus reflect a human being’s feelings and thoughts. In certain situations, laughing will be an adequate means of overcoming barriers as it reduces the distance between the speaking and the listening person. Laughing conveys openness, cordiality, and confidence.
The Voice is an indirect component of nonverbal communication as by varying one’s voice certain contents can be conveyed better and more understandably. The voice, for that matter, is characterised by quality (adaption to the contents), articu-lation (pauses, phrases, and grammar), as well as variety (pace, sound intensity, and stresses).