Normally, these gestures occur naturally and spontaneously, for instance by using the hand to underline the importance of an argument or by counting with the fingers while giving an enumeration. Gestures should never convey the impression of being unnatural or forced, and they should be appropriate to the contents of the message.
Perceived discrepancies of this kind can signal insecurity or poor credibility. The negative effect is often aggravated by scratching one’s neck or nose and by avoiding eye contact. Since gestures are often used spontaneously and naturally, they need not necessarily be in accordance with the contents of the words. Rubbing one’s hands may for instance convey pleasant anticipations, while scratching one’s head may convey insecurity or embarrassment. Putting one’s hand together will however signal ease and self-assurance.
Facial expressions mean visible movements of the face and are considered emotional forms of expressing one’s moods or affects. Facial expressions thus reflect a human being’s feelings and thoughts. In certain situations, laughing will be an adequate means of overcoming barriers as it reduces the distance between the speaking and the listening person. Laughing conveys openness, cordiality, and confidence.
The Voice is an indirect component of nonverbal communication as by varying one’s voice certain contents can be conveyed better and more understandably. The voice, for that matter, is characterised by quality (adaption to the contents), articu-lation (pauses, phrases, and grammar), as well as variety (pace, sound intensity, and stresses).
the participants have the authority to make decisions or whether the approval of persons with higher authority must be sought subsequently.
Get Standard Points Exchanged In the next negotiation step, the positions, demands, and wishes of the parties are exchanged.
Normally, a discussion will ensue in which the parties will try to understand the wishes and interests of the respective other party. In this context, it is important that one’s own demands are being articulated precisely and unambiguously. Phrasing one’s position too weakly will only offer points of attack and signal the other party room to negotiate.
Observe and Identify Common Ground After both parties have exchanged their positions, one quickly understands how far both parties differ. Prior to any attempt at closing the gap, it is advised to summarise the standpoints and to identify common ground which will help to find joint solutions later.
Take Note of Differences In the next step, one must try to understand and recognise the differences of both positions. Recognising in this context does not mean to accept the other party’s demand. At this stage, it is important that the negotiation does not come to a standstill and the atmosphere remains relaxed.
Initiate Negotiation Now, the negotiation really begins. Several different strategies may be followed. Irreverent of “hard” or “weak” negotiating, the main task at this stage is to exchange concessions and work out approaches for a solution.
In this context, concessions should be placed strategically and exchanged effectively.
Agreement Should Be Reached If the gap between the two positions could have been closed by an agreement, the negotiation results are being summarised. This ensures that both parties have the same understanding of the result and support it.
Tasks Should Be Distributed Then the negotiated fields of action are distributed to the participants. Which steps must be initiated next, and who will do what up to what date? This ensures that there is no lack of clarity with regard to the responsi-bility assignment and that the collected points of action are timely implemented.
End, Celebrate, and Say Farewell At the end, the other party is bidden farewell.
In normal cases, this will mostly involve small talk and take only a few minutes.
According to cultural practice, however, the negotiation result may also be cele-brated by a shared dinner or by visiting a cultural event—here again, personal relations play an important part.
Practical Tip
With me, the following course of action in negotiations has always proven—and still proves—most successful:
After greetings and the enquiry for daily targets and the wishes of the other party, the own view is given. In a superior but friendly and not arrogant way, the other side is confronted with numbers, data, and facts that shall ideally bring him or her in a defensive position. My former English-speaking boss called this method “grounding”. But, beware: the arguments must be cast-iron, and there must be a B plan. The weakest argument should be used in the middle and the strongest at the end of the exchange. Everything must be clear and true. Efficiently and targeted experts from the own enterprise (e.g. from the material planning or quality assurance departments) are deployed as “bad guys” to provide—in a frame that has been concerted previously—seemingly irrevocable evidence. These evi-dence on the table—e.g. a defective part or a poor delivery statistics from the ERP system—cause immense pain and weaken the other side’s position. Afterwards the supplier is slowly propped up again partly by introducing artificially construed complexity from diverse fields of negotiation as part of the bargaining chips.
Following a holistic approach, oneself and the other side should at first get the overall picture. Thus, one will be able in the further course of the talks to give something without too much pain. For on the surface, negotiating is always give and take, and so it becomes easier to assert one’s true targets. After all topics—
especially the technical ones—have been concluded finally, the most important point of the negotiation is saved up to the end, and then it is time to take. During the whole negotiation body language should be used purposefully, e.g. by creating a faithful atmosphere by mirroring (Figs.8.5and8.6).
In this, one assumes a posture similar to that of the negotiation partner—that will make him feel comfortable and thus have a positive effect on the relation level.
In the further course of the negotiation, one should always keep a keen eye on the negotiation partner. One should intervene whenever one gets the impression that something has not been understood or misunderstandings have occurred.
If the partner scratches his nose (Fig. 8.7) or neck (Fig. 8.8) repeatedly, this conveys uncertainty and may be a hint to doubts or even untruthfulness. If one observes such behaviour patterns, one should repeat one’s statements in order to dispel mistrust and insecurity.
Another gesture that signals scepticism or lack of interest is resting the chin on the hand (Fig.8.9). If one observes this posture, it is best to interrupt one’s speech for asking the partner whether you have expressed your ideas clearly.
One should always take account of the spatial territory as shown in Fig.8.10. On could use this knowledge for an attack (when appropriate to implement one’s strategy), e.g. by placing a ballpoint pen on the table directly opposite to the negotiation partner.
When certain boundaries are transgressed, especially the intimate sphere, the dialogue partner will feel embarrassed and pushed. To infringe in someone else’s sphere may be seen as a statement of trust but also as a threat and may trigger
aggressive reactions. Not in all cases a negotiation will aim at reaching an agree-ment and to continue business relations with the other party.
How insecure and uncomfortable one may feel—on the outside, one should demonstrate strength and self-confidence.