Dear S. & M.'s,
Six weeks to go and the producers had no show, but plenty of Piles. However, some solid thinking by members of the cast and the producers resulted in a stack of scripts and songs which were torn apart, censored, re-written and finally put together as the '57 'Medleys revue: "Piles of Fun".
This year's final curtain was also a fare- well performance for one of the greatest stalwarts of Med. revues, Ken Shankly, our stage manager. We would like to sincerely thank Ken for his inestimable help both in producing the show and managing it on stage, not only for '57 but the many years before. We're sure gonna miss you, Ken!
While we are on the topic of thanks, we would like to extend it to the host of helpers which made Piles of Fun a success; especi- ally Strahan Sutherland, to whom we owe the hall decor and stage scenery. Also thanks to the Union office, Nina Harrison
Opening Song:
Sit Down For Piles Of Fun
Tune: "Sit Down, You're Rockin' the Boat"
As I stepped out upon the stage this evening I saw no one to act or sing a song,
Then from that thing A voice in anguish holler'd,
We've come from space to send the show along.
Then the people they all stepped out, stepped out to start the show,
Yes, the people they all stepped out, and shouted, "Man, let's go,"
For we've come to do some acting,
To sing some songs and quip some puns, Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, and
you'll have piles of fun.
and Margot Featherston for typing the scripts and songs.
One thing the show couldn't do without is the "orchestra", which was again ably led by Dr. Trethewie. (Thanks, Treth.)
As usual, the producers made mistakes, but this time due to the keenness and expert acting ability of the cast few were noticed.
We must apologise to the audience for our main gremlin—hearing that which is said—but just bear with us fellas and at the '58 show you might be able to understand all the dialogue.
Live and learn is a good policy with Medleys, provided that the learning doesn't interfere too much with the living. So here's to Med. Medley's '58 (title to be re- vealed later in the year—yes, we've got one). May it be brighter, bigger and better than ever.
Yours sincerely,
ERIC COOPER.
As I sat down not believing what had happened,
I thought in time my seeing would be right, But then I sensed
Something queer right behind me,
And a voice cried out, "My Dear, Tonight's the Night."
Yes, tonight's our night of fun, let's really go to town,
Yes, tonight our race we'll run and let our hair right down,
And we hope you will agree that There's laughs galore for everyone,
Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down for piles of fun.
Sit down for piles of fun, (Repeat)
SIT DOWN FOR PILES OF FUN.
74 SPECULUM
Of Dames And Things
Tune: "Guys and Dolls"
What's happening at the Uni.?
I'll tell ya what's happening at the Uni.
Guy who used to be sane and single is Now behavin' like a perfect luni.
That's what's happin' at the Uni.
What's happin' at the Med. School?
I'll tell ya what's happin' at the Med.
School.
Guy who used to be lively and bright, Is now behavin' like a dead fool.
That's what's happin' at the Med. School.
What's happin' all over?
I'll tell ya what's happin' all over.
Stude sittin' down with a text book Who used to be somethin' of a rover.
That's what's happin' all over.
Dames is the thing that has licked 'em.
And it looks as if we're jest three other victims.
When you see a stude, And his hair is all chewed,
You might think that he's taking the benze- drine.
When a Res. comes in with an audible moan,
You can bet that the elf Is dosin' himself
With testosterone.
When a lazy jerk settles down to some work And he swots in a tramcar or a train;
Call him queer or a moron,
Ah, but you can get six to four on
That the mug's only doin' it for some Jane.
When a student sighs, With that look in his eyes,
You might think that he's takin' a bromide fizz.
When a solo king calls misere at it's best, On four aces and nought,
It's sure that the sport Has feathered his nest.
When a drinking mug gives up taking a jug, And he drinks nuttin' but water like a drain, Call him brave, call him stupid,
Ah, but you can get odds from Cupid That the creep's only doin' it for some Jane.
When you see a lair Puttin' pins in his hair,
You might think that he's swallowed some mist. mag. co .
When a Cas. stude moans that no sleep can he catch,
You can tell by his voice That without any choice He could doze in a snatch.
When a certified wet makes a ten to one bet That from henceforth he'll not be a pill or
a pain,
Call him mad, call him clever, Ah, but you can get odds for ever,
That the lad's only doin' it for some Jane.
Some Jane.
Some Jane.
The lad's only doin' it for some Jane.
SPECULUM 75
The Stately Homes of Carlton
Tune: Stately Homes of England.
The Stately Homes of Carlton Have blue lights at the gate.
The public's always welcome, You never have to wait.
As long as your money is in your hand, You'll find that an evening can soon be
planned
With a tasty little dish.
You can choose between brunette, redhead or blonde,
Any sort you wish.
The Stately Homes of Carlton Have every kind on hand.
From passionate to frigid, The best in all the land.
As long as the Medical Faculty boasts A dozen virile men,
We'll fight for the Stately Homes of Carlton.
The Stately Homes of Carlton Supply the students' needs.
And if you pay us promptly, We'll give you back your tweeds.
For only a little extra,
You can see what the other patrons do Through a peep-hole in the wall.
You would be surprised at who you'll see in there;
Lecturers and all!
The Stately Homes of Carlton Have lots of girls on tap, And if you stick to us, sir, You'll never get the clap.
The spirochaete just isn't see here, Which is one more reason why
We'll fight for the Stately Homes of Carlton.
The Stately Homes of Carlton Are in the public eye,
As long as there are men, sir, The sport will never die.
Though ministers may denounce us, And policemen may pursue us, We shall be sure to have our way.
While our girls remain as lovely as they are, The customers will pay.
The Stately Homes of Carlton Are vital to the land,
For if they were not with us Just think of the demand.
With knot holes and post-holes and key- holes
We should occupy our time,
So we're proud of the Stately Homes of Carlton.
The Stately Homes of Carlton Are never at a loss;
For if our girls don't please you, We'll let you have the boss.
Although it's not customary, We could probably fix you up If you would prefer to have a male.
Or if you require a little boy, or dog, We shall never fail.
The Stately Homes of Carlton Have always been discreet, You'll find us close and handy Up every little street.
Except for a murder once in a while, Your safety is assured,
So we'll fight for the Stately Homes of Carlton.
—Ron Quirk.
All This And A Degree Too
Tune: "Whoopee"
Another year You're in the ward, The teaching's started Don't look so bored;
You're in the clinics Amongst the cynics, Some call you Doctor.
You palpate hearts And auscultate,
You heard the murmurs?
By George you're great;
But then a voice said That patient's long dead, Send for a doctor.
The setting's bright and airy Between the long white walls, Be careful that the fairies Don't souvenir your .. . Seeing patients
Alive and dead,
They're stuffing seaweed Into your head;
But just remember When you're an ember, They called you Doctor.
76 SPECULUM At last you reach
The final year, You sober up, Won't have a beer, But constipation And dissipation Makes you a doctor.
Finale:
There's No Medleys
Like Med. Medleys
Tune: "There's No Business Like Show Business"
There's no business like med. business, Like no shambles we know,
Everything about it is revealing All the clues that Siddy can instil, Nowhere can you get that happy feeling When you are stealing that extra thrill.
There's no people like med. people Like no boozes we've done,
All the boys are ready when you say you'll shout,
You'll soon find out, they like their stout, But when it comes to paying up they all
hang out,
But let's have piles of fun.
A BRITISH RESEARCH ACHIEVEMENT
Working in conjunction with the Medical Research Council, chemists of the Glaxo Laboratories developed a synthesis of cortisone from heco- genin, which is obtained from the juice of sisal leaves.
All Glaxo Cortelan (cortisone), Efcortelan (hydrocortisone,) Delta- Cortelan (prednisone), and Delta- Efcortelan (prednisolone) preparations are manufactured from materials pro- duced by this new British synthesis.
The pan-rooms, the theatres, the patients, the smell,
The cigarettes you always seem to lend, The ward rounds, the students, the orderlies
—ah, well.
Who's caring, for the year is at an end.
The nurses who will give the studes a bit, Ah, bless their souls—tonight they'll make
a hit.
There're no subjects like Med. subjects, Like no subjects we know,
None of them are worth the trouble learn- ing,
Think of Physiol. and Biochem.
All the notes are only fit for burning, What of the lecturers? We've finished them.
There's no fooling or no drooling that our Profs. ever shun,
Never was there such a mouldy lot, They're always ready to drink a pot, And what's more they'll take you down for
all you've got.
We're having Piles of Fun.
The doctors, the sisters, the nurses, the lot, Will keep you on the run from morn till
night.
The lectures, the clinics, the P.M.s, so what, Tonight's the night we'll give the fright a
bite.
We're fit and well and rearing for the chance,
The booze is waiting, let's get down and dance.
There's no medleys like Med. Medleys, Like no medleys we know.
Never has there been a show so daring, Never has there been a grander cast.
You orta guess by all the bloomin' swearing That we have finished the show at last.
We hope you have had fun, too, and still vote us number one,
Thanks to all who helped us to this final night
It's sad that some should have died of fright,
As for all the rest of us, well boy we're tight,
We've had Piles of Fun.
SPECULUM 77