Exams.
Passed.
Congratulations to the successful.
Fifth year, 28 shot. Good shooting.
Only zo successful out of 48. Oh !
zoo THE SPECULUM.
Records :
Fifth year entry-48.
Fifth year fatality-28.
Fifth year pass-28. In November, 1897.
Shortest answer—" Dints " as the conditions which simulate fractures of the foetal skull.
Triad of bald pates—patient, student, examiner.
Such students with the signs of experience so evident, simply
•an't be plucked.
In future orals each student will be allowed a seconder ; two examiners versus one student is not in accordance with the rules of true sport.
Great amusement in Wilson Hall during Forensic exam.
Prof. Kernot quite enjoyed himself ; so did we. A little prepar- atory clatter when two outsiders went out after the first half-hour, but at half-time a student preparing for exit brought the house down. A few minutes later a popular Honorary seemed to think the examiners would get too much of a shock if he wrote any more. He received more than his share of applause. Nextly a student of annual commencement fame is stamped out. Then another one created quite a furore by asking for more paper.
This state of feverish excitement could not last. We had soon all vanished, and the last man had to applaud his own exit.
Pure Maths. Parts II. and III. did not even raise the dust.
Still one unfortunate came down in. Forensic. Another was shot, but he translated his paper and the examiner corrected the result. This gentleman had been holding the papers up-side down.
At the W.H. in addition to midwifery we learn the truth of Josh Billing's reflection : " There is 2 things in this life for which we are never fully prepared, and that iz twins. '
Mind-curing Mother : " Eleanor, what is the matter ?" " Oh, mother, I've got such a terrible error of mind in my stomach."
Mary had a little watch ; She swallowed it one day :
And now she's taking Beecham's Pills To pass the time away.
" Troubled with dyspepsia, are you ? Did you ever try any of my medicine ?" asked the chemist. " Oh, yes ; but it wasn't that that gave it to me. I had it long before I took any of your stuff."
Physician (with his ear to patient's breast): "There is a curious swelling over the regions of the heart, sir, which must be reduced at once." Patient (anxiously): " That 'swelling ' is my pocket- book, doctor. Please don't reduce it too much."
December, tgo3
December, 1903 THE SPECULUM. IOI
Lacrosse.
The University finished up third at the end of the season, having lost the services of Dr. Bonnin, and considering all the circumstances the club put up a creditable record. The results of the matches for the second round are :-
University v. Williamstown ... 4. goals to 2 ••• Won v. M.C.C. ... a „ 13 • • • Lost v. Elsternwick 4 „ „ 2 • • • Won v. St. Kilda ••• 4 4 ••• Draw v. Essendon ... 2 ,, 9 ••• Lost v. Auburn ... 6 „ „ 2 ••• Won Essendon were the premier team, with M.C.C. second. Con- sidering the whole season's play of the Shop team, great weakness was noticed among the forwards, but the back men maintained the high standards of defence set by the teams of previous years.
Want of practice on the part of the players was evident in every match played.
The thanks of the Club are due to Messrs. B. J. Dunn and R. R. Wettenhall, Captain and Secretary respectively.
May we be permitted to bring under the notice of our readers some reasons for joining the lacrosse team. The game is for men of lighter build, perhaps, than the average footballer, though not necessarily so. There is no University Football Club, and some form of exercise is necessary for every student who wishes to keep healthy and clear-headed ; lacrosse being the winter game for students, you should therefore join the University Lacrosse Club. Crosses are provided for those who wish to test the game before definitely joining the Club. New members are given special attention, and quickly attain sufficient skill to take their places in the field. There are one or more B teams for new players. The subscription (7/6) is reasonable, and is credited to those joining the Cricket Club. Members of the Cricket Club have not to pay the subscription. It might be pointed out to those who watch the practices that they differ from matches, much as kicking the football does from playing the game. Any further information will be readily given by R. R. Wettenhall, Hon. Sec. U.L.C., Medical 'School.
Lawn Tennis.
Looking back on the results of the year's pennant matches, we must come to the conclusion that, though our Fours did well, they should have done better. The Firsts got into the Finals at Grace Park, but they played far short of expectation. The
102 THE SPECULUM. December, 1903
Second Four played good Tennis right through the year, and won the honor of playing off the final match with Grace Park B team, and only lost the premiership by a few games. The Shop Third Four started well but finished tamely, with the num- ber of matches won and lost equal in number. It is interesting to note that of the 12 men engaged in these matches, 8 were meds., thus showing that we hold more than our own at Tennis as elsewhere.
The " Shop " tournament has come at last to a conclusion.
The Singles resulted in a win for W. Turner, with F. Green second, and in the Doubles Turner and Turnbull secured premier position. It seems rather strange that a tournament in which all the competitors are within easy reach of each other can never be finished in less than 6 or 7 months.