THE INFLUENCE OF AMIR’S GUILTY FEELING UPON HIS
SELF-CONCEPT IN KHALED HOSSEINI’S
THE KITE RUNNER
AN UNDERGRADUATE THESIS
Presented as Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Sarjana Sastra
in English Letters
By
ELIZABETH NITA KURNIASIH
Student Number: 044214104
ENGLISH LETTERS STUDY PROGRAMME DEPARTMENT OF ENGLISH LETTERS
FACULTY OF LETTERS SANATA DHARMA UNIVERSITY
AN UNDERGRADUATE THESIS
Presented as Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Sarjana Sastra
in English Letters
By
ELIZABETH NITA KURNIASIH
Student Number: 044214104
ENGLISH LETTERS STUDY PROGRAMME DEPARTMENT OF ENGLISH LETTERS
FACULTY OF LETTERS SANATA DHARMA UNIVERSITY
LEMBAR PERNYATAAN PERSETUJUAN
PUBLIKASI KARYA ILMIAH UNTUK KEPENTINGAN AKADEMIS
Yang bertanda tangan di bawah ini, saya mahasiswa Universitas Sanata Dharma: Nama : Elizabeth Nita Kurniasih
Nomor mahasiswa : 044214104
Demi pengembangan ilmu pengetahuan, saya memberikan kepada Perpustakaan Universitas Sanata Dharma karya ilmiah saya yang berjudul:
The Influence of Amir’s Guilty Feeling upon his Self-Concept in
Khaled Hosseini’s
The Kite Runner
Bersama perangkat yang diperlukan (bila ada). Dengan demikian saya memberikan kepada Perpustakaan Universitas Sanata Dharma hak untuk menyimpan, mengalihkan dalam bentuk media lain, mengelolanya dalam bentuk pangkalan data, mendistribusikan secara terbatas, dan mempublikasikannya di internet atau media lain untuk kepentingan akademis tanpa perlu meminta ijin dari saya maupun memberikan royalti kepada saya selama tetap mencantumkan nama saya sebagai penulis.
Demikian pernyataan yang saya buat dengan sebenarnya. Dibuat di Yogyakarta
Pada tanggal: 30 April 2009 Yang menyatakan,
True dignity abides with him only, who, in the silent hour of
inward thought, can still respect and still revere himself, in
lowliness of heart
(William Wordsworth)
Say YES! to Life
You will never know what life could
bring
For
The saimans
and
My Concept of Self
Christ for blessing me and giving me strength to do anything in life. I really thank Him for the opportunity to complete another chapter of my life, this wonderful college time.
I would like to express my gratitude to my advisor, Dra. Th. Enny Anggraini, M.A. and my co-advisor, Ni Luh Putu Rosiandani, SS., M.Hum., for generously sharing their knowledge, expertise and making themselves freely available for consultation. I truly appreciate their guidance, advices, and support in the process of making this thesis. I would also like to thank all of the lectures and staffs of the English Letters Program for all their help and guidance during my study in Sanata Dharma University.
I sincerely express my enormous gratitude to my magnificent father Laurentius Saiman and my lovely mother Maria Rusilah for their belief in the value of higher education that gives me the opportunity to attend university. I am eternally grateful for their never-ending love and endless prayer for me to finish my study and for being so compassionate and understanding as I grow as a person. I thank Yeremias Nardi and Martinus Bangkit, for being such incredible brothers. To all my relatives, I deeply thank them for their support and wonderful kinship.
I would like to thank all my college friends especially Eka, Bertha, Wulan, Ditha, Yuli, Bendot, Karisma, and Oos for the past 5 years of fun, love, and miraculous fellowship. It is truly a heaven’s gift to have you all as my true friends. I also express my gratitude to my high school mates; Ekaristi, Femmy, Sindi, Tri, Widy, Ani, Metta, for the love and unbreakable bond of sisterhood. To 308 and Groovy Crew, thank you for the rock and roll time we shared! I send my respect to Eric Martin, the superfantastic vocalist, who gingers me up with his marvelous talent in singing.
Finally, for anyone who cannot be mentioned here one by one, thank you for giving me a hand in completing this thesis and making it possible.
Elizabeth Nita Kurniasih
ACCEPTANCE PAGE ………iii
A. Review of Related Studies ……… 7
B. Review of Related Theories ………. 8
1. Theories of Character and Characterization ………. 8
2. Theories of Self-Concept ………. 10
3. Theories of Guilty Feeling ……… 19
C. Theoretical Framework ……… 20
CHAPTER III: METHODOLOGY ……….. 21
A. Object of the Study ………... 21
B. Approach of the Study ……… 22
C. Method of the Study ………. 23
CHAPTER IV: ANALYSIS ……… 25
A. The Characterization of Amir ………... 25
1. Coward ………. 26
2. Dishonest ……….. 29
3. Envious ………. 30
4. Low Self-Confidence ……… 32
B. Amir’s Self-Concept before Dealing with Guilty Feeling ………. 34
C. The Influence of Amir’s Guilty Feeling upon His Self-Concept …. 42 CHAPTER V: CONCLUSION……… 53
BIBLIOGRAPHY ………. 57
ABSTRACT
ELIZABETH NITA KURNIASIH. The Influence of Amir’s Guilty Feeling upon His Self-Concept in Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner. Yogyakarta:
Departement of English Letters, Faculty of Letters, Sanata Dharma University, 2009.
Everybody has his or her own self-concept. Self-concept is the image one has of oneself. It includes one’s perceptions, beliefs, feelings, attitude, values, hopes that one views as characteristic of himself. One’s behavior depends on his self-concept and his personality is also developed based on his self-concept. However, self-concept is not always stable. One emotion factor that is able to influence one’s self-concept is guilty feeling. Guilty feeling can threaten one’s self-concept. As the result, this could make one has a negative self-concept. This is what happens to Amir as the central character in Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner. The mistake that he does in his childhood burdens him with the feeling of guilty and changes the way he views himself.
There are three problems that are formulated in this study. First, related to Amir’s characterization as the main character. Second, related to Amir’s self-concept before dealing with guilty feeling. Third, related to the influence of Amir’s guilty feeling upon his self-concept.
This study uses psychological approach because it discusses the psychology aspects of the main character related with his self-concept and guilty feeling. Therefore, besides using literary theories to answer the first problem formulation, this study also uses the psychology theories, which are the theories of self-concept and guilty feeling.
Based on the analysis, the results of the study are as follows. Firstly, it can be concluded that Amir has unfavorable characteristics. He is described as a coward, full of jealousy, dishonest person, and having low self-confident because he gets lack of attention from his father. Amir’s characteristics then used to trace Amir’s self-concept before dealing with guilty feeling. Amir’s social self-concept is “I am worthless”. Amir’s ideal self-concept is “I want to be like Baba. Amir’s basic self-concept, “I am useless,” is influenced by his social self-concept and the discrepancy between his social self-concept and ideal self-concept. His transitory self-concept, “I am worth to be proud of” occurs when he manages to win the kite fighting and makes proud of his father. However, the writer finds that Amir’s guilty feeling in not helping his friend, Hassan, who is being molested, changed the way he views himself. Amir’s views himself as “I am bad person” that does not deserve to have any goodness in life related to his past sin. Besides that, it also changes his ideal self-concept, he is no longer wanted to be like his father and makes him more confident with his ability.
Sastra Inggris, Fakultas Sastra, Universitas Sanata Dharma, 2009.
Semua manusia memiliki konsep diri masing-masing. Konsep diri adalah gambaran tentang dirinya sendiri yang meliputi tanggapan, keyakinan, perasaan, sikap, nilai, harapan yang dia lihat sebagai bagian dari karakteristiknya. Seseorang akan bertingkah laku menurut konsep dirinya dan kepribadiannya juga akan berkembang berdasarkan konsep dirinya. Tetapi, konsep diri tidak selalu tetap. Salah satu faktor emosi yang bisa mempengaruhi konsep diri seseorang adalah perasaan bersalah. Perasaan bersalah dapat mengancam konsep diri seseorang. Akibatnya, konsep dirinya bisa berubah negatif. Hal inilah yang dialami Amir sebagai tokoh utama dalam novel The Kite Runner karya Khaled Hosseini. Kesalahan yang dia lakukan di masa kecil membebaninya dengan perasaan bersalah dan hal itu merubah cara dia melihat dirinya.
Terdapat tiga masalah yang dirumuskan dalam studi ini. Pertama, berkaitan dengan penokohan Amir sebagai tokoh utama. Kedua, mengenai konsep diri Amir sebelum mengalami perasaan bersalah. Ketiga, pengaruh perasaan bersalah terhadap konsep dirinya.
Studi ini menggunakan pendekatan psikologis karena membahas mengenai aspek psikologis tokoh utamanya yang berkaitan dengan konsep diri dan perasaan bersalah. Karenanya, selain teori sastra yang digunakan pada perumusan masalah pertama, studi ini menggunakan teori psikologi yaitu teori perasaan bersalah dan konsep diri.
CHAPTER I
INTRODUCTION
A. Background of the Study
People are unique. They have their own personality, thought, ability and disability, and other characteristics that differentiate them from one another. Day by day people are living their life, interacting with one another, playing their role in society, developing, growing, but when it comes to the question of whether they know themselves well, they might have difficulty in answering it. Some people even tend to think that they cannot judge themselves and let other people do it for them. However, actually everyone has their own concept about themselves in their mind. It is not just a general concept such as “I am Mr. Saiman, Indonesian, a businessman, a father of three children, a resident of Jogjakarta, and a dog lover.” To encounter with the real self, one has to go far deeper than the self-descriptions that are being stated above. Even more important are the values a person places upon his various qualities of self (Elkiens, 1979: 77). For example, people see themselves as attractive or unattractive, strong or weak, brave or coward, pleasant or unpleasant people. This is called the self-concept.
According to Jersild as cited by Hurlock in her book Personality Development
self-concept is a person’s “inner world,” a composite of a person’s thoughts and feelings, strivings and hopes, fears and fantasies, his view of what he is, what he has been, what he might become, and his attitudes pertaining to his worth (1974: 21).
Apparently, to understand one’s self-concept is necessary because by recognizing his self-concept, he can get a better understanding about what kind of person he is, why he acts this way, why he reacts that way and how he arrives at being the kind of person he is at this point in time. It is because self-concept influences over the quality of person’s behavior and his methods of adjustment to life situations (Hurlock, 1974:21). Self-concept is like the core of one’s behaviors and personality patterns. What people do at every moment of their lives is a product of how they see themselves and the situation they are in.
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Hurlock states that an emotional factor that is the guilty feeling is also able to influence one’s self-concept. Guilty feeling is basically an emotional conflict at violating conscience or having done something that one believes one should not have done or conversely, having not done something one believes one should have done. Guilty feeling can lead people to do better if they cope with it realistically. On the other hand, guilty feeling can be considered as a threat to the self-concept because it causes discomfort and anxiety. Since people tend to use certain defense mechanisms to help them preserve or protect the self-concept from any threatening feeling, if the defenses fail, the only thing that left is that they feel sorry about themselves for not admitting their mistake and deciding to be apathetic toward the feeling of guilt. The ability of guilty feeling in influencing one’s self-concept is the point that interests the writer and becomes the topic of this study. The writer chooses the topic because she is interested in how the feeling of guilt can have a huge effect on one’s life. We see that many people often ignore their guilty feeling after making a mistake, refuse to admit it, or think that atonement or apologizing is not necessary. People tend to use defense mechanisms or the efforts to protect their self-concept over their guilty feeling instead of admitting their mistake and making amends of it. They do not realize the possibility that the feeling of guilt is able to influence their self-concept if those defense mechanisms fail to protect their self-concept.
one’s self-concept through the main character’s guilty experience. In the novel, the main character, Amir, has to deal with his guilty feeling that burdens him for almost of his life related to his childhood mistake. What Amir witnesses in winter 1976, changes his friendship with Hassan, his servant and his half brother, forever. After that, Amir is not the same person as he feels he used to be. The guilty feeling changes how he views himself.
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B. Problems Formulation
The problems of this undergraduate thesis that will be discussed can be formulated as follows:
1. How is the main character, Amir, characterized in the story? 2. What is Amir’s self-concept before dealing with guilty feeling? 3. What is the influence of Amir’s guilty feeling upon his self-concept?
C. Objectives of the Study
The objective of this study is to find out the answers of the formulated problems in the former part. There are three objectives to be achieved in this study. The first is to find out how the main character in the novel is described. The second objective is to find out Amir’s self-concept before dealing with guilty feeling. The last objective is to find the influence of the main character’s guilty feeling upon his self-concept.
D. Definition of Terms
To avoid misunderstanding, there are terms that become the key of this study that need to be clarified.
1. Guilty feeling
ethical standards one has set for oneself. As such, guilty feeling is especially internal and personal since they result from a self-judgment by internalized standards. Therefore, guilty feeling can be defined as an emotional conflict at violating conscience or having done something that one believes one should not have done or conversely, having not done something one believes one should have done. In this undergraduate thesis, guilty feeling refers to Amir's emotional conflict at having not done something to prevent Hassan from being molested.
2. Self-concept
Hurlock states that the self-concept is a composite of a person’s thoughts and feelings, strivings and hopes, fears and fantasies, his view of what he is, what he has been, what he might become, and his attitudes pertaining to his worth. (1974: 21). This definition is chosen because this undergraduate thesis wants to reveal Amir’s self-concept that includes his view of what he is, what he has been, and what he might become.
3. Defense mechanisms
CHAPTER II
THEORETICAL REVIEW
A. Review of Related Studies
In this part, the writer deals with the previous studies that have been done related to the object and the topic of this thesis. The studies are taken from some theses from the students of English Letters Study Programme Department of English Letters Faculty of Letters Sanata Dharma University.
One of the studies taken is Widya Rani Hapsari’s thesis entitled “The Discriminations toward Hazara People as seen in Khaled Hosseini`s The Kite Runner”. In this thesis, the writer uses socio-historical approach in which she tries to analyze the discrimination toward Hazara people as minority ethnic in the novel.
Another study is taken from Wuri Murnita’s thesis entitled a “Psychological Study of the Self-Concept of the main Character Olivia as a Chinese-American in Amy Tan's The Hundred Secret Senses.” In this thesis, the writer tries to reveal how the main character's self-concept is formed as a Chinese American.
The first thesis written by Widya Rani Hapsari uses socio-historical approach in analyzing The Kite Runner. The focus is more about the discrimination of the minor character in the novel. This undergraduate thesis also uses the same object, but, in this undergraduate thesis, the writer is more interested in the psychological issue of the characters in the novel, especially Amir as the main character. The writer uses
psychological approach in analyzing the main character. The second thesis discusses the main character’s self-concept related to the original background. Furthermore, different with the previous study on the same topic, in this undergraduate thesis, the writer does not relate the main character’s self-concept with his original background, but with his guilty feeling to find the influence of his guilty feeling upon his self-concept.
B. Review of Related Theories
1. Theories of Character and Characterization
Character, according to Abrams (1993: 23) in his book A Glossary of Literary Terms is the person “presented in a dramatic or narrative work … interpreted by the reader as being endowed with moral, dispositional, and emotional qualities that are expressed in what they say-the dialogue-and by what they do-the action”.
A character may be static, experiences only slight changes in the plot, or dynamic, influenced by actions and experiences and used to reveal the consequences of his or her actions (Holman and Harmon, 1986: 24).
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Murphy mentions nine ways in which an author attempts to present his characters in his novel and make them come alive for his readers as well as understandable. These are the methods of characterization presented briefly:
a. Personal Description
The author can describe a person’s appearance and clothes in details so that the readers will be able to figure the personality of the character based on his appearance.
b. Character as seen by another
The author can describe the character through the eyes and opinions of another character in the novel.
c. Speech
The author can give us an insight into the character of one of the characters in the book through what that person says.
d. Past Life
By allowing the reader learn something about a person’s past life the author can give us a clue to events that have helped to shape a person’s character. This can be done by direct comment by the author, through the person’s thoughts, through his conversation or through the medium of another person.
e. Conversation of others
f. Reactions
The author can give us a clue in a person’s character by allowing us to know how that person reacts to various situation and events. His reactions will show his true feeling.
g. Direct comment
The author can describe or comment on a person’s character directly through the narration (especially in third-person narrator).
h. Thoughts
The author can give us direct information of what a person is thinking about and even tell us what other people are thinking. Here the author acts as a person who knows everything.
i. Mannerisms
The author can describe a person’s mannerisms, habits of idiosyncrasies that may also tell us something about his character.
2. Theories of Self-Concept
a. The Definition of Self-Concept
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collection of beliefs about the kind of person we are (1971: 10). Another definition of self-concept is stated by Jersild as cited by Hurlock that self-concept is a composite of a person’s thoughts and feelings, strivings and hopes, fears and fantasies, his view of what he is, what he has been, what he might become, and his attitudes pertaining to his worth (1974: 21)
b. Learned Self-Concept
Combs as cited by Elkiens (1979: 82-86) explains that a person learns about himself from his interaction both with physical and social world. Physical world means everything related to his physical environment such as his body, his strength, his intelligence, danger conditions, and others. While social world means his interactions with other people, especially with whom they consider significant who have much influence toward his personal life. Moreover, in one's social world, one acquires both emotional and social experiences that influence his self-concept. Good experiences may lead to a positive self-concept and bad experiences, however, may lead to a negative self-concept.
c. Understanding one’s Self-Concept
Personality Development, that a person’s self-concept is a motivating force in his behavior (1972: 34). She adds that the individual acts in accordance with how he sees himself at the moment. For example, if he feels that people accept him, he will act in a friendly and cooperative way. In contrast, if he feels that people reject him, he will act in a rude and uncooperative way.
The self-concept as the dominant elements of the personality pattern governs the individual’s characteristic reactions to people and situation and determines the quality of his behavior. Hurlock (1972: 34) gives evidence by doing research studies from several areas of behavior. The result of the research studies points out that many school children work below their capacities because they have learned, at home or from members of the peer group, to think of themselves as “dumb”. It is because the feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, unworthiness from his social interactions may color the individual’s entire self-concept. However, a child whose ability is limited may work beyond his teacher’s expectations if he has a favorable self-concept characterized by feelings of competence and worth. In conclusion, one’s self-concept can be indirectly understood by observing one’s behavior and personality patterns.
d. Components of Self-Concept
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The conceptual component is the person’s conception of his capabilities and disabilities, his background and origins, his distinctive characters and his future. It is composed of such life-adjustment qualities such as honesty, self-confidence, independence, courage, and their opposites. It is also called the psychological self-concept.
The attitudinal component is the person’s feeling toward himself, his attitudes about his present and future prospects, his feelings about his worthiness, and his attitudes of self-esteem, pride and shame. In adulthood age, the attitudinal component includes also the beliefs, convictions, values, ideals, aspirations, and commitments which make up his philosophy of life.
e. Kinds of Self-Concept
Hurlock (1974: 22) points out that the self-concept takes many forms. There are four kinds of concept which are the social concept, the basic self-concept, the transitory self-self-concept, and the ideal self-concept.
The social self-concept is what he believes others think of him. The social self-concept is surely determined by social interactions with which the person mingles. Early social self-concept develops in the home during his early years. That is why it may in time develop into basic self-concept if the person believes that he is as others see him. In other words, social concept is the foundation for the basic self-concept.
discrimination and rejection will damage the person’s self-concept, build up his resentment, and give rise to feelings of inadequacy. For example, if a child is constantly told that he is “naughty,” he soon develops a concept of himself as a naughty child. Furthermore, the effect of the social–concept on the individual’s behavior will depend on how important others’ opinion to him at that time and what persons that are most significance in his life at that time. For example, if a child is loved, accepted, approved, respected for what he is by his parents or his teachers as the most influential persons in his life at that time, he will gain self-acceptance and respect for himself. However, if the significant persons in the child’s life blame and reject him, the growing child’s attitudes toward himself are likely to become unfavorable. As he is judged by others, he will tend to judge himself.
The basic self-concept is what a person really believes he is or his concept of what he really is. It includes his perception of his appearance, his recognition of his abilities and disabilities and of his role and status in life, and his value, beliefs and aspirations. It is perhaps impossible for a person to think of himself without being influenced to some extent by the social self-concept he has or what he believes others think of him. It is because, as stated before, the social self-concept is the foundation of the basic self-concept. Only when the person reaches physical maturity and only if he can achieve a feeling of security about his ability will he be able to assess himself realistically without interference from social pressure and fear of social disapproval.
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have developed to the point where he is able to imagine things not immediately present. One of the ways is by imagining how he would like to be. The ideal self-concept of a young child is usually a member of the family who seems superior to him, such as a parent or an older sibling. Older children tend to idealize glamorous or historical figures. The ideal self-concept may be realistic in the sense that it is possible to be achieved or it may be unrealistic in a way that it is impossible to be reached in real life. A highly unrealistic ideal self-concept will increase a person’s dissatisfaction with his social self-concept and basic self-concept so much that he will be frustrated, disappointed, and disillusioned. Therefore, it is harder for him to see himself realistically and based on his real abilities.
The transitory self-concept is a self-concept that held temporarily and then gone. This self-concept is influenced by situation, some emotional state, or by a recent experience. It can be favorable or unfavorable depends on the situation in which the person finds himself momentarily. It will lead to view himself as the self he hopes he now is or the self he fears he now is. A person who is happy, who is accepted by others, who achieves what he wants may have a transitory self-concept that is more favorable than his basic concept. He would see himself as the self he hopes he now is. Meanwhile, if the condition is the contradiction of the previous example than he would see himself as the self he fears he now is.
f. Stability of Self-Concept
are inevitable (Hurlock, 1974:33). Every new situation found by the individual as meaningful moment can recreate his self-concept (Vitro, 1971: 9). Elkien states that the most important changes in the self-concept come about as consequences of many experiences repeated over long periods of time and also the dramatic events occurred (Elkiens, 1979: 77).
g. Discrepancies between Self-Concepts
Discrepancies between self-concept can result in personality maladjustment. Moreover, the person's maladjustment can make it possible for the person to misbehave. Hurlock in her Personality Development (1976: 31-32) has classified the discrepancies between self-concepts into several groups. One of them is the discrepancies between basic and ideal self-concepts. The discrepancies between the basic and the ideal self-concept are relatively small on condition that a person should determine his goals that are within reach of his ability. In general, the older, more mature, and experienced the person will be, the less likely the discrepancies are to occur.
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dislike him. Moreover, he will also see himself falling far low of his ideal that in time he will feel frustrated and humiliated. Finally, his feelings of inadequacy and inferiority begin to influence his social adjustments.
h. Defense Mechanisms
Kalish (1973, 155-159) states that the need for healthy self concept is very important. Any feeling that causes anxiety and discomfort or stressful condition can threaten one’s self-concept. Whenever a stressful condition occurs, one tends to defend himself and tries to retain a satisfying self-concept. The attempts to maintain and improve his self-concept, especially in the face of stress are called defense mechanisms. Hamachek states that although defense mechanisms are necessary, they can give bad effects because they make people to avoid taking responsibility, to abstain from taking risks now and then, or to create excuses for doing bad things. The use of defense mechanisms is a normal human reaction, unless they are used to such an extreme that they begin to interfere with our ability to cope realistically with problems (Hamachek, 1971: 49). When the defenses fail, one of the results is the changing of your self-concept into a negative self-concept. Here are some defense mechanisms as stated by Kalish in The Psychology of Human Behavior and also by Hamachek in Encounter With the Self:
i. Rationalization
is to invent excuses for doing things that we do not think we should do and to redirect the responsibility away from us. For example, when a student cheats in an exam, he justifies his action and protects his self-esteem by saying “Everyone else does that too, so I have to in order not to get lower grade.”
ii. Fantasy
Rather than face a threat to the self-concept and its resulting discomfort, people may withdraw into fantasy. Fantasy is the defense mechanism through which they create their own world rather than face the problem. It is like remove one self from unpleasant reality into a more pleasant world of fantasy. For example, daydreaming, reading books, or watching movies.
iii. Apathy
Apathy is removing oneself completely from the situation to reduce the threat to the self-concept.
3. Theories of Guilty Feeling
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conscience or having done something that one believes one should not have done or conversely, having not done something one believes one should have done.
Guilty feeling is a very common thing in human life and almost every human being experiences it, except for the ones who deal with sociopath or the absence of guilt (Kleinke, 1878: 15). Usually, if ones did something that they should not have done, they might have felt guilty. If they did not no what they should have done, they might also have felt guilty because of his moral responsibility. Guilty feeling also has a very important role to guide one’s behavior. The function of the feeling of guilt is to redirect the conduct of the individual into a course harmonious with his moral or ethical standards (Reymert, 1950: 353). It is like an intrinsic punishment for socially or morally unacceptable behavior. Hence, the feeling of guilt may lead us to do better.
much defending, less coping somehow cannot solve the real problem, When the defenses fail, one sees himself below from his own standard. This could make one has a negative self-concept. Therefore, human beings need to find a way to release him from guilty feelings in a positive way.
C. Theoretical Framework
In analyzing this thesis, first, the main character in the novel is studied by using the theories of characters and characterization. The characterization methods that are used in this study are personal description, character as seen by another, speech, past life, conversation of others, reactions, direct comment, thought, and mannerism. Once this is done, the answer of the first problem formulation is obtained. Second, by using the theories of self-concept, the writer will relate the main character’s characteristics to find out his self-concept and what factors influence the development of his self-concept.
CHAPTER III
METHODOLOGY
A. Object of the Study
The object of this study is a novel entitled The Kite Runner written by Khaled Hosseini. Khaled Hosseini was born in Kabul, Afghanistan and moved to the United States in 1980. He is now living in California as a physician. The novel is his first novel and it becomes the first Afghan novel written in English. It was first published in 2003. It consists of 324 pages and 23 chapters. The version used in this thesis was published by Bloomsbury Publishing, London. It is a paperback edition that is published in 2007.
The Kite Runner is an international bestseller and published in thirty-four countries. It has made into a box-office movie directed by Marc Forster. The movie is released in 2008.
The novel tells the story of Amir, a boy from a middle class Afghan family, who is haunted by the guilt of having betrayed his childhood friend Hassan, the son of his father’s servant. It begins in 1975 and is set in Afghanistan from the falling of the monarchy, the Soviet invasion in 1979, the mass migration of Afghan refugees to Pakistan and the United States, the Afghan community in California, and finally back to Afghanistan during the Taliban regime. Furthermore, the novel tells about another dimension of the culture and country of Afghanistan that have taken interest of people
around the world after the September 11, 2001 attack in the US. Therefore, it is not just the story that is interesting but also the reader can gain knowledge about the culture, religion and political issue of Afghanistan. Therefore, people around the world can see Afghanistan from different points of view outside the terrorism issue.
B. Approach of Study
In analyzing a literary work, it is important to obtain a deep and good understanding about the literary work itself. Therefore, it needs an appropriate approach that can help to support the analysis of the story as the material of the study.
In this study, the writer chooses to use the psychological approach as the method on conducting the analysis of the novel. The psychological approach is chosen because the approach emphasizes human psychology. It includes human personality, motivation, thought, behavior and other sources related to the psychological aspects.
According to Lewis in his book A study and Research Guide:
A psychological approach is an approach that applies principles of modern psychology to characters or situations within a literary work or to the person who wrote that work (1976: 57)
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C. Method of Study
Since this study focused on literary work, the writer used library research to answer the problems that were formulated in the previous chapter. It means that the writer took all the references from the library to support the analysis. In this thesis, there are two kinds of data that were used. They were primary and secondary data. The primary source was a novel entitled The Kite Runner, while the secondary data were several studies and critics on the novel from theses and online articles and some books of theories were used to support the secondary data.
There are some steps conducted in the analysis part. First, reading the novel in detail. Having interested with the story in the novel, other theses and other data related to The Kite Runner were read to gain an original topic to be discussed in the thesis.
supporting the validity of those characteristics. Then, the second problem formulation was answered by observing the characteristics to understand his self-concept based on the theory of personality and self-self-concept. The last problem formulation was answered by analyzing his guilty feeling. The first thing to do was finding the cause of his guilty feeling. To find the cause of his guilt feeling, the theory of guilty feeling was combined by the events happened in the novel. Besides that, the main character’s self-concepts were also used in analyzing the reason he did the mistake because self-concept influences how one reacts to situations. Then, the theory of guilty feeling was used to analyzing the main character’s suffering in dealing with his guilty feeling. After that, the theory of defense mechanisms was used to analyze how the main character’s protected his self-concept to the threat of his guilty feeling. Finally, by analyzing his self-concept after his conducted the mistake, the influence of his guilty feeling upon his self-concept was gained.
CHAPTER IV
ANALYSIS
This undergraduate thesis concerns on the main character of the novel and the influence of the main character’s guilty feeling upon his self-concept. The discussion will be divided into three parts based on the problem formulations stated in the previous chapter. Firstly, this study will find the main character’s characteristics based on the theory of characterization. Secondly, it will discuss about the main character’s self-concept before dealing with guilty feeling. Thirdly, it will discuss the influence of the guilty feeling upon his self-concept.
A. The Characterization of Amir
In the novel, The Kite Runner, Amir is the main character in the novel because the story is seen through the journey of his life. On the other words, Amir is the central of the story. The way he thinks, his attitudes and his point of view are explored in the story. Based on the theory of character by Holman and Harmon, Amir is a dynamic character who is influenced by actions and experiences and used to reveal the consequences of his or her actions. In this case, Amir makes a mistake that makes him regret, and the consequence is he has to deal with his guilty feeling for decades.
In understanding the characters in the novel, there are methods proposed by Murphy (1972: 161) in the previous chapter. He explains that an author may reveal the characters' personality to the readers through methods of characterization. The characterization towards the characters can help the reader to catch the message or the idea brought by the story. The methods are personal description, characters as seen by another, speech, past life, conversation of others, direct comment, thought and mannerism. To know the description of Amir, some methods are applied. They are thought, speech, direct comment, mannerism and conversation of others. The writer focuses on trying to find Amir’s characteristics which can lead to his self-concept that will be analyzed in the second part of analysis. Amir’s characteristics are:
1. Coward
Amir is described as a coward person. Since he is young, Amir has lack of courage inside of him. He is a kind of person who cannot stand to see any act of violence. He will be very scared until he cries in tears when he sees one. This appears in his past live when one day he watched a horse race with his father. He admits it to himself that he gets scared and cries.
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His cowardliness also can be seen whenever he is teased by other boys. Amir is a kind of person that cannot stand up for himself. He is not brave enough to defend himself whenever other children tease him. He will only drop his head, let them do what they want and never fights back. The evidence of his cowardliness appears in the conversation between his father, Baba, and his friend, Rahim Khan.
“Sometimes I look out this window and I see him playing on the street with the neighborhood boys. I see how they push him around, take his toys from him, give him a shove here, a whack there. And, you know, he never fights back. Never. He just…drop his head and…” (2007: 19).
Another evidence that shows Amir’s cowardliness is Amir always has the tendency to run away or wishes somebody could help him whenever he faces troubles. He always feels the tremor inside of him and has no courage to defend himself. For example, when one day Assef, Kamal and Wali, the neighborhood bad boys, tease Amir and Hassan on a hill far away from home, Amir’s thought shows that he gets scared and wishes Baba could come and rescue him.
Kamal and Wali cacled in unison. I wished Baba were there….I wondered if anyone would hear us scream in this remorse patch of land. Baba’s house was a good kilometer away. I wished we’d stayed at the house (2007: 35).
“…you know what always happens when the neighborhood boys tease him? Hassan steps in and fends them off. I’ve seen it with my own eyes...” (2007: 20).
When Amir is an adult, he is still too afraid to admit his mistake in the past. He envies his girlfriend, Soraya Taheri who has courage to tell him about her sin in the past, that she ever runs away from home and lives with her boyfriend for a month. For a woman to live together with a man before getting married is considered a very shameful act in Afghan culture. She dared to admit it so that there will be no secret between her and Amir when they both get married. Amir’s thought below about Soraya’s courage in admitting her past sin shows that he has less courage than Soraya has.
I envied her. Her secret was out. Spoken. Dealt with. I opened my mouth and almost told her how I’d betrayed Hassan, lied, driven him out, and destroyed a forty-year relationship between Baba and Ali. But I didn’t. I suspected there were many ways in which Soraya Taheri was a better person than me. Courage was just one of them (2007: 144).
When Baba passes away, Amir is haunted by his fear of not having someone to protect or to show him the way anymore. All of his life, he depends on Baba to lead him the way. He is already an adult at that time but he is terrified by the fact that he must lives on his own.
My hole life, I had been “Baba’s son.” Now he was gone. Baba couldn’t show me the way anymore; I’d have to find it on my own. The thought of it terrified me (2007: 152).
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2. Dishonest
Amir tends to make up story to cover his bad behavior or something that makes him feels shame especially in front of his father. One of the evidences appears on Baba’s statement when he asks Amir about the scrapes in Hassan’s face. Amir lies by telling him that Hassan falls down. In fact, Baba knows that Hassan gets those scrapes from fighting with neighborhood boys to defend Amir. Amir does not know that Baba witnesses it all. The evidence of Amir’s telling a lie can be seen from the conversation between Baba and Rahim Khan.
“You know what always happens when the neighborhood boys tease him? Hassan steps in and fends them off. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. And when they come home, I say to him,’How did Hassan get that scrape on his face?’ And he says ‘He fell down” (2007: 20).
Amir also often tells lies to Baba, about Hassan, so that Hassan will not take part in the father and son time. Sometimes, when Baba plans to take Amir and Hassan to go for fishing or having a picnic, Amir will tell lie to Baba by saying that Hassan has the runs to do. The fact is Amir wants Baba to spend more time only with him. Amir admits the lie in his thought.
He asked me to fetch Hassan too, but I lied and told him Hassan had the runs (2007: 12).
Then I knocked on Baba’s door and told what I hoped would be the last in a long line of shameful lies” (2007: 91).
3. Envious
Amir grows up with less affection from his parents. His mother dies after giving birth of Amir and his relationship with his father, Baba, does not run well. Amir is really idolizing his father, because he is a great man and known for his courage and generosity in Kabul. However, Baba often acts coldly toward his son. He always gets too busy with his job, helps poor people, or spends time with his friends and seldom has time for Amir. Therefore, Amir feels that Baba never gives him enough attention. Amir’s wishes of his father’s affection are shown in his thought below.
I let myself dream: I imagined conversation and laughter over dinner instead of silence broken only by the clinking of silverware and the occasional grunt. I envisioned us taking a Friday drive in Baba’s car to Paghman, stopping on the way at Ghargha Lake for some fried trout and potatoes. We’d go to the zoo to see Marjan the lion, and maybe Baba wouldn’t yawn and steal looks at his wristwatch all the time. Maybe Baba would even read one of my stories. I’d write him a hundred if I thought he’d read one. Maybe he’d call me Amir
jan like Rahim Khan did. And maybe, just maybe, I would finally be pardoned for killing my mother (2007: 49).
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Baba would buy us each three identical kites and spools of glass string. If I changed my mind and asked for a bigger and fancier kite, Baba would buy it for me-but then he’d buy it for Hassan too. Sometimes I wished he wouldn’t do that. Wished he’d let me be the favorite (2007: 45).
Another thing that makes Amir anxious is because Hassan more resembles Baba than himself. Hassan is braver, stronger, and more athletic than Amir, just like Baba. His jealousy appears in his thought below.
I wanted Baba to my self. And besides, one time at Gharga Lake, Hassan and I were skimming stones and Hassan made his stone skip eight times. The most I managed was five. Baba was there, watching, and he patted Hassan on the back. Even put his arm around his shoulder (2003: 12).
In Hassan’s birthday, Baba takes him to meet a surgeon to cure his harelip. Hassan feels that it is the most special gift for him because finally he will have a normal lip like the other children. However, Amir feels that it is unfair, because Hassan never has to work hard to earn Baba’s affection, but he always gets it. His enviousness appears in his thought.
I wished I too had some kind of scar that would beget Baba’s sympathy. It wasn’t fair. Hassan hadn’t done anything to earn Baba’s affections; he’d just been born with that stupid harelip (2007: 40).
Amir does not only feel jealous to Hassan because Baba pays more attention to him but also to the orphans Baba is building the orphanage for. Baba really puts his heart, body and soul in building the orphanage. That is why Baba is seldom stays in home, but often works at the construction site.
4. Low Self-Confidence
Amir is a person who needs a boost of self-confidence. He never feels confidence of his own ability. It is because the pressure to be as great as his father. That pressure comes indirectly from the society, his father and from himself. Whereas, he realizes that he does not have the abilities that can be compared to his father. He tries to do the athletics things that his father tells him, such as soccer. Baba signed Amir for soccer teams but he did it pathetically. He played so bad that he never got the passing ball from his team. Baba then gives up. However, the things that makes Amir feel down because often when he fails or makes mistake, Baba never encourages him. Baba will only put the disgusted look on his face. It makes him feels more unconfident with his ability.
Amir is in fact has a talent in language subject. Amir likes to read any kind of stories and poems. In school, Amir is the only student who is able to recite dozens of verses from Farsi poetry. Amir likes to read any kind of stories and poems. He inherits this hobby from his late mother, Sofia Akrami. Amir’s mother is a Farsi literature lecture in a university. She collects many literary works in her house. Those books become Amir’s favorite too and Amir likes to read them in his leisure times.
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never imagines that Hassan will be very fond of his story. At first, he feels not confidence enough to write a story, moreover to show it to other people. However, Hassan gives him a little boost on his self-confidence. After that, Amir writes his first story. He reads it once again to Hassan. Hassan likes it too. Hassan is the first one who believes in Amir’s talent in writing. Because of that, Amir starts to feel confident of his ability in writing stories. Below is the quotation is Hassan’s appraisal and wishes toward Amir that encourages him to write more and more stories.
“Some day, inshallah, you will be a great writer,” Hassan said, “And people all over the world will read your stories…” (2007:29).
However, when Amir is showing his first story to Baba, he is not interested in reading it. In fact, Baba does not like Amir to be a story teller or a poet. Baba thinks that it does not show any masculinity.
“Real men didn’t read poetry-and God forbid they should ever write it! Real men-real boys-played soccer just as Baba had when he had been young” (2007: 17).
From the quotation above, appears that Amir rarely gets positive reinforcement or feedback from his father about his talents or abilities. This makes him feel unclear and unconfident about his own skills.
Amir’s lack of confidence also appears when he follows the kite-fighting tournament. He doubts that he can win and he will only disappoint Baba one more. His confidence is fall to the bottom when he sees Baba is watching the tournament from the house roof.
B. Amir’s Self-Concept before Dealing with Guilty Feeling
Self-concept is a composite of a person’s thoughts and feelings, strivings and hopes, fears and fantasies, his view of what he is, what he has been, what he might become, and his attitudes pertaining to his worth (Hurlock, 1974: 21). In this part of analysis, the writer will observe Amir’s thoughts, feeling, and hope about himself.
Based on the theory of self-concept by Elkiens, self-concept can be understood indirectly through a process of observations on some forms of behavior, since behavior is a product of the individual perception of himself toward his environment which leads to the self-concept (1979: 82-86). Therefore, in other words, one’s self-concept can be analyzed from his characteristics. Amir’s self-concept then can be traced through observing his characteristics. From the first analysis, it appears that most of Amir’s characteristics are unfavorable. He is described as a coward, full of jealousy, dishonest and lack of self-confidence. Since behavior is a product of the individual perception of himself toward his environment that leads to the concept, these negative characteristics of Amir lead to generally unfavorable self-concept.
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opinion to him at that time and what persons that are most significance in his life at that time. The most significant person in Amir’s life is Baba as his one and only main family. Observed from one of Amir’s characteristics which is easily getting jealous with anyone who gets attention from Baba whereas he has to work hard to earn it, shows how poor their relationship is and that he has lack of attention from his father. It clearly seen that Amir wishes Baba could love him unconditionally same like Baba does to Hassan or the orphans. However, Baba never gives him enough attention. Therefore, Amir feels that he is not loved and not accepted by his father as the most significant person in his life. Baba often acts coldly toward him. He always gets too busy with his job, helps poor people, or spends time with his friends and seldom has time for Amir. It seems that Baba is intentionally pulling himself away from Amir. One of the evidences that Baba would rather spend his time with his friends than with Amir, and how Amir wants to spend more time with him can be seen from Amir’s thought below.
Sometimes I asked Baba if I could sit with them, but Baba would stand in the doorways. “Go on, now,” he’d say. “This is grown-ups time. Why don’t you go read one of those books of yours?” He’d close the door, leave me to wonder why it was always grown-ups time with him. I’d sit by the door, knees drawn to my chest. Sometimes I sat there for an hour, sometimes two, listening to their laughter, their chatter (2003: 4).
Amir also rarely gets support or positive feedback from his father about his talents and abilities. This can be shown on the passage below when Amir says to him that he wins the Battle of Poems in his class.
Another evidence is when Amir finally manages to write his own story. He hopes Baba will be proud of him, but when Amir is showing his first story to Baba, Baba is not interested in reading it.
…I told him I’d written a story. Baba nodded and gave a thin smile that conveyed little more than feigned interest. “Well, that’s very good, isn’t it? he said. Then nothing more. He just looked at me through the cloud of smoke. I probably stood there for under a minute, but to this day, it was one of the longest minutes of my life. Seconds plodded by, each separated from the next by eternity. Air grew heavy, damp, almost solid. I was breathing bricks. Baba went on staring me down, and didn’t offer to read (2007: 27).
As a parent, Baba sets a high standard for Amir. Baba expects that Amir has to be as great as him or even surpasses him. Therefore, Baba uses many ways to make Amir fulfill his expectation. He does it putting him into soccer team or asking him to watch horse-ridding race. However, every time Amir fails to fulfill his expectation, Baba will put on disgusted look and not even try to encourage him.
Amir often thinks the reason that Baba acts coldly toward him is because indirectly he is the one who kills his mother. As stated before that his mother passes away after giving birth of Amir, whereas, Baba really worships his wife. For Baba, she is the one and only love.
I watched him fill his glass at the bar and wondered how much time would pass before we talked again the way we just had. Because the truth of it was, I always felt like he hated me a little. And why not? After all, I had killed his beloved wife, his beautiful princess, hadn’t I? (2007: 17).
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Baba also considers Amir as a coward and weak child. Baba’s opinion about Amir appears in Baba’s conversation with Rahim Khan.
I heard the leather of Baba’s seat creaking as he shifted on it. I closed my eyes, pressed my ear even harder against the door, wanting to hear, not wanting to hear. “Sometimes I look out the window and I see him playing on the street with the neighborhood boys. I see how they push him around, take his toys from him, give him a shove here, a whack there. And, you know, he never fights back. Never. He just… drops his head and…”,Baba said. “So he’s not violent”, Rahim Khan said. “That’s not what I mean, Rahim, and you know it”, Baba shot back. “There is something missing in that boy” (2007: 22).
In this passage, it can be seen the way Baba views his son from Baba’s own words. Baba says indirectly that Amir is a weak and coward person. Baba views Amir as a person who cannot stand up for himself. On the quotation below, Baba emphasizes how big the difference between him and his son is and how that puts a strain on their relationship.
“…He needs someone who…understands him, because God knows I don’t. But something about Amir troubles me in a way that I can’t express. It like...if I hadn’t seen the doctor pulled him out of my wife with my own eyes. I’d never believe he’s my son” (2007: 20).
his father, the social self-concept that he gets from his father is “I am worthless.” Amir believes Baba considers him not worth enough to be Baba’s son because he cannot meet Baba’s expectation, that he is not worth to get lots of attention, and that he is not worth of his mother’s life sacrifice.
The second one is Amir’s ideal self-concept. Ideal self-concept is an image of oneself as he would like to be and what he believes he ought to be. Based on the theories of self-concept, the ideal self-concept of a young child is usually a member of the family who seems superior to him, such as a parent or an older sibling. As been stated in Amir’s characteristics that Amir is really idolizing his father, because he is a great man and known for his courage and generosity in Kabul. Baba is an ideal figure to him. The evidence can be found since his childhood, Amir looks at his father with high respect. Amir sees his father as a pillar of strength and courage. The quotation below shows how Amir describes his father.
My father was a force of nature, a towering Pashtun specimen with a thick beard, a wayward crop of curly brown hair as unruly as the man himself, hands that looked capable of uprooting a willow tree, and a black glare that would “drop the devil to his knees begging for mercy,” as Rahim Khan used to say. At parties, when all six-foot-five of him thundered into the room, attention shifted to him like sunflowers turning to the sun” (2007: 11).
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when he is accompanying Baba in the opening ceremony of the orphanage.
It was a windy day and I sat behind Baba on a little podium just outside the main entrance of the new building. Baba was wearing a green suit and a caracul hat. Midway through the speech, the wind knocked his hat off and everyone laughed. He motioned to me to hold his hat for him and I was glad to, because then everyone would see that he was my father, my Baba (2007: 13).
Amir really idolizes his father. Furthermore, it appears in his thought that he worships Baba as if he is God.
Most day I worshipped Baba with an intensity approaching the religious (2007: 27).
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proud of his father and it seems like everything that he does is always wrong.
Amir’s low self-confidence characteristic is the product of Amir’s social and basic self-concept. Amir then becomes a person who feels inferior. He cannot see himself realistically. Actually, as been stated in his characteristics that Amir has a great ability in literature but he always feels unconfident about it, because his self-concept has been generally negative.
The last one is Amir’s transitory self-concept. Transitory self-concept is generally influenced by some passing mood or emotional state or by a recent experience. Every new situation found by the individual as meaningful moment can recreate his self-concept (Vitro, 1971: 9). The most significant experience for Amir before he is making the mistake is when he wins the kite tournament. In Afghanistan culture, winning a kite tournament is really a prestigious accomplishment for a boy. The winner will be considered as a hero in town. Amir puts a great hope upon this kite-fighting tournament. He hopes that if he wins this, Baba will finally look at him in different way from a useless child into a child that worth to be proud of.
Show him once and for all that his son was worthy. Then maybe my life as a ghost in this house would finally be over (2003: 49).
During the kite tournament, Amir struggles very hard to defeat his entire opponents. He has a big motivation in his mind that by winning the tournament, Baba will finally put more attention to him.
The moment when he comes out as the winner, is a very important moment for Amir because finally he can make proud of his father. Finally, he can show Baba that he is a worthy son.
And that right there was the single greatest moment of my twelve years of live, seeing Baba on that roof, proud of me at last (2007: 58).
It is stated previously in the theory of self-concept that good experiences may lead to favorable transitory self-concept. A person who achieves what he wants may have a transitory self-concept that is more favorable than his basic concept, he would see himself as the self he hopes he now is. When Amir wins the kite fighting, he also has a good experience in achieving what he wants. Amir’s self-concept then changes from generally negative to positive. His transitory self-concept is “I am worth to be proud of.”
C. The Influence of Amir’s Guilty Feeling upon His Self-Concept
Elkien states that the most important changes in the self-concept come about as consequences of dramatic events occurred (Elkiens, 1979: 77). In other words, one’s self-concept can change because of experiencing a dramatic event. In the novel, the most dramatic event for Amir is the incident that happened to Hassan in the alley. The evidence of how big the influence of the incident in the alley upon Amir’s life can be seen from the first paragraph in the novel below.
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how you can bury it. Because the past claws its ways out. Looking back now, I realize I have been peeking into that deserted alley for the last twenty six years” (2007: 1).
In the alley, Amir witnesses Hassan who is being raped by Assef to protect Amir’s kite. However, Amir does not do anything to help Hassan. He just witnesses it all from hidden place and finally runs away. His decision later on makes him feel guilty for failing to save his friend and betraying Hassan’s loyalty. In dealing with his guilty feeling, Amir experiences such stressful condition. As been stated previously in the theories of guilty feeling that there are some major categories of response to the stress of guilty feeling, include bodily changes (psychosomatic disorders), defense mechanisms, violence, aggression, new growth motivations, etc (Kalish, 1973: 155). In this case, Amir also faces psychosomatic disorders or physical disorders arising from stress. The evidence appears when he gets a headache, every time Hassan is near him.
Lately, every time Hassan was around, I was getting headache (2007: 77). Besides that, Amir often feels like he is unable to breathe when Hassan is near him. He feels like his chest is tightened, and the air starts to be sipped away. That is why Amir tries to avoid Hassan and plans his day carefully to make sure that he meets Hassan as seldom as possible.
Another physical disorder that he has to take is that the feeling of sickness every time people appraise him for winning the kite tournament. It is not a feeling of proud that he feels but the feeling of pain and sickness.
Baba was still ranting about the kite tournament, how I’d outlasted them all, how I’d come home with the last kite. His booming voice dominated the room. People raised their heads from their platters, called out their congratulations. Kaka Faruq patted my back with his clean hand. I felt like sticking a knife in my eye (2007: 75).
The worst physical disorder that he has to take is the difficulty to sleep or insomniac. Amir becomes an insomniac because every time he closes his eyes, all that he can see is the image of what happened that day in the alley. Amir’s thought shows that every time he closes his eyes, that image comes again.
I closed my eyes. Little shapes formed behind my eyelids, like hands playing shadows on the wall. They twisted, merged, formed a single image. Hassan’s brown corduroy pants discarded on a pile of old bricks in the alley” (2007: 74).
The image of the tragedy than happens to Hassan continuously comes to him every time Amir closes his eyes. That makes him feel anxious and unable to sleep. This anxiety continues to hunt him until he turns into an adult.
I watched Hassan get raped,’ I said to no one. A part of me was hoping that someone would wake up and hear, so I wouldn’t have to live with this lie anymore…. I understood the nature of my new curse: I was going to get away with it….That was the night I became an insomniac (2007: 75).
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what he always wants, Amir feels empty. He cannot enjoy his victory. He cannot feel happy. He cannot enjoy his precious time with his father. The way Amir feels the emptiness inside his heart can be seen on the quotation below.
It shouldn’t have felt this way. Baba and I were finally friends… That should have been fun, spending a day like that with Baba, hearing his stories. I finally had what I’d wanted all those years. Except now that I had it, I felt as empty as this unkempt pool I was dangling my legs into (2007: 74).
Amir then reacts upon his guilty feeling in a defensive way. Kalish (1973, 155-159) states that the need for healthy self concept is very important. Any experience which is inconsistent with one's self-concept may be perceived as a threat, and the more of these experiences there are, the more rigidly self-concept is organized to maintain and protect itself. When stressful condition such as guilty feeling threatens one’s self-concept, that person tends to defend himself and try to retain a satisfying concept. The attempts to maintain and improve his self-concept, especially in the face of stress are called defense mechanisms. Furthermore, when a person is unable to get rid of perceived inconsistencies, emotional problems arise
feeling. As stated previously, Amir deals with stressful condition with his guilty feeling from feeling empty, getting headache, getting difficulty to breathe to becoming an insomniac. To protect his positive self-concept, he tries some defense mechanisms to make him feel better.
The first attempt is by rationalization. Rationalization is the attempt to make behavior or feelings seem rational, sensible, and consistent with the self-concept, when they really are not. The purpose is to redirect the responsibility away from him. Amir does the rationalization by creating a rational reason he does not help Hassan when he is being molested. He rationalizes his action by convincing himself that Hassan is just a Hazara. He uses Hassan’s background to adjust his action. Hazara is minority ethnic in Afghanistan and the Pashtuns, the majority ethnic, often disrespect them and treat them like slaves. Using that fact, Amir makes himself believe that a Hazara is not that important to be stood up for. It is something right to sacrifice a Hazara for a Pashtun’s benefit.
…nothing was free in this world. Maybe Hassan was the price I had to pay, the lamb I had to slay, to win Baba. Was it a fair price? The answer floated to my conscious mind before I could thwart it: He was just a Hazara, wasn’t he? (2007: 68).
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pleasant world of fantasy by reading stories, writing stories, and drawing in his room for almost every day.
But when Baba was out-and he was out a lot-I closed myself in my room. I read a book every couple of days, wrote stories, learned to draw horses (2007: 77).
Furthermore, the last defense mechanism that Amir uses in defending his self-concept is apathy. Apathy is removing oneself completely from the situation to reduce the threat to the self-concept. He cannot stand seeing and being near to Hassan. He chooses to remove himself completely from the situation. He decides that one of them must go.
Either way, this much had become clear: One of us had to go (2007: 89).
In the quotation above, it is clear that Amir decides to end his suffering by completely removing Hassan from his life. He wants Hassan to go. As a result, he makes up a story for slandering Hassan in order to Baba dismisses him as a servant. He accuses Hassan stealing his new watch. He asks Baba to dismiss him and drives him out from the house.
Baba would dismiss them, there would be some pain but life would move on. I wanted that to move on, to forget, to start with a clean slate. I wanted to be able to breathe again (2007: 92).
However, there is a point when Amir realizes the damage of the mistake that he had caused.
And theres is a point when he admits to himself that he feels very sorry for what he did when he sees Hassan for the last time before Baba’s car takes him away, but he somehow cannot let go all of his defenses.
If this were one of the Hindi movies Hassan and I used to watch, this was the part where I’d run outside, my bare feet splashing rainwater. I’d chase the car, screaming for it to stop. I’d pull Hassan out of the backseat and tell him I was sorry, so sorry, my tears missing with rainwater. We’d hug in the downpour. But this was no Hindi movie. I was sorry, but I didn’t cry and I didn’t chase the car.
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The first evidence that he sees himself as a bad person is when Amir compares himself with a monster in Hassan’s dream that drags Hassan into misery. His thought can be seen in the quotation below.
I thought about Hassan’s dream, the one about us swimming in the lake.
There is no monster, he’d said, just water. Except he’d been wrong about that. There was a monster in the lake. It has grabbed Hassan by the ankles, dragged him to the murky bottom. I was that monster (2007: 75).
When Amir accuses Hassan for stealing his watch, Hassan is willing to admit the crime that he does not commit. Hassan sacrifices himself once again in taking all the blames so that Baba will not punish Amir for telling lie.
He knew I had betrayed him and yet he was rescuing me once again, maybe for the last time. I loved him in that moment, loved him more that I’d ever loved anyone, and I wanted to tell them all that I was the snake in the grass, the monster in the lake. I wasn’t worthy of this sacrifice; I was a liar, a cheat, and a thief (2007: 92).
From the quotation above, it is clearly seen, that Amir perceives himself as a liar, a cheat, and a thief. He believes that he is not worthy enough for Hassan’s sacrifices. He admits to himself that he is the one who should be blamed for betraying his best friend, someone that he actually cares of. However, he does not have the courage to admit it in front of every people.
When Amir and Baba has to flee to America because of the Russian invasion, he sees Baba risk his life defending the dignity of an Afghan woman. He then feels that he does not deserve to be Baba’s son because he cannot save his own friend from being sexually assaulted. He views himself as a real coward.
