When you read back over your journal, you’ll find your problem areas and then, instead of saying, “I hate this,” you’ll be able to use this as a jumping- off point to ask, “How can I change this? What do I want to replace it?
What’s my goal?
My dad, who was my hero in so many ways, had a core can-do philosophy.
Whenever I asked his counsel about a goal I had, he would always ask,
“How can you?” even when others were telling me I couldn’t do it. He never once doubted that I could.
And then he and I would break it down into steps for making it happen. He always said you have to dream to get there. And sometimes that meant dreaming of a better job and work life. I admit that one time when I laid it all out for him, he did advise me to quit. And three days later I did. I never looked back and am thankful for that move.
I started my own business, with my ex-employer as one of my new clients.
But not everyone is hardwired for that kind of big change. And it did take several years to build my income stream back to where it was. Luckily, I had a partner, my husband, who was working full time and could provide ballast.
But I stuck it out for most of my 20-plus years of working in-house — although I always did writing gigs on the side to help balance any unhappiness and keep me stretching in new directions, building my network, and allowing me to feel less dependent on one employer controlling my destiny.
At various junctures, though, it really made career sense to move up and out, particularly when I got married and moved to a new city. That’s far easier when you’re young and beginning your career. When you’re in your 40s and 50s, you need to keep your traction as best you can, especially in a job market that makes it tough for older workers to get hired.
For me, what worked for those times where I had to stay put, bide my time, and make it work was to take the feeling of being blocked, or being afraid of changing something, or trying to reach for a higher bar, and break it
down into manageable parts that would make the job more challenging and affirming, step by step. I will elaborate on ways to do this in upcoming chapters.
So start small. Do one thing every day to move the ball forward. The first step in your change process: keeping your journal. It’s simple stuff like making lists, for example, as you have already started to do.
Here’s your homework, some of which you may have already begun in Chapter 2:
1. Write out your “best of all worlds” list. Start by creating a picture of what you desire in your work life. Be bold and think big. List the elements you already know you want in your work. Try to imagine a clear—but realistic—outcome, and list the precise pieces that make it so attractive to you.
Create a section in your list for what you like best about your job right now. As I said before, I know there are things. Nothing can be that bad.
I’m a big believer in positivity. Focusing on the positive gives us the strength to tackle the tough elements. I realize that we often become so discouraged by our current job demands that we lose touch with the best facets of our present work.
You might need to set aside time to calm and clear your mind before you do this exercise. Meditate, if that helps. Go for a long walk with your dog. When you’re ready, consider features like:
Your coworkers
Interesting and stimulating work Opportunities for learning
Occasions for networking
Respect, cachet, perks, and benefits
Write your current job description as if you were telling a friend about what your duties are each day.
2. Make a list about what you dislike in your job. Then, one by one, consider what you can do to turn the negatives into positives. Reframe
them. “If what you like least about your job is the stress, ask yourself what it is that might make the job less stressful for you,” suggests Jones.
“Regular vacations? No weekend work?”
Make a to-do list of the tools you will need to make these
improvements. For starters, you will need to be physically fit. As you will read in the next chapter, this is key to making changes in your life.
When you’re in shape, you have vitality and energy that you can translate into action steps in all facets of your life. And it gives you a positive attitude. Fitness and health build confidence. You feel good.
Then, too, stretching your brain, keeping your skills sharp, adding new ones, and meeting new people will help you push out of your narrow rut and see a bigger, brighter future.
3. Track your progress. If you’re like me, you love crossing action steps off your to-do list. That’s why it’s great to mix small steps with bigger ones. By tracking your progress, even if this means checking off that you shined your work shoes (appearance matters in how you feel) or walked for a mile or two each day, or whipped up that banana-kale shake for breakfast, you can keep yourself accountable. There will be plenty of other such items on your list as you move through this book.
“Logs can illustrate your efforts, reinforce your commitment and help you see the gap between where you are and where you want to be,”
Jones advises.
In addition to both a daily and monthly to-do list, I recommend keeping a separate journal for musings and self-reflection. This private outlet encourages you to dig down and unload frustrations, vent, dream a little, and explore ideas and hopes no matter how high-flying they may seem at the time.
Finally, remember that this is not a task. Once you get started and make keeping lists and journaling part of your daily routine, it doesn’t just give you a strategy for changing your work life, a structure, and a process. It has the added benefit of being energizing. It’s your own personal business plan. That sense of taking control is empowering.