ACTION LINES

• Use your

camera

for the school paper.

• Consider hosting an

FFA

inter- national exchange student.

•

Work

out an exchange with a chapter in another state.

• Findout birthdays of other teach- ers in school. Send 'em a card.

• Put together an old-fashioned chaptertalentgroup

—

^stringband,

skit,rock group,quartet,gymnastics.

• Organize a basketball or racquet ball tourney.

Or

ping pong.

• Getstartedwith

FFA Week

planning.

• Did

you

order a ¹985

FFA

Calen- dar for yourself or your folks?

See the Supply Service Catalog for ordering info.

• Refinishtheolddeskorfurniture in the school office.

•

How

about a

new FFA

^initial

sweater for yourself?

• Organize a caroling group.

• Chapter could offer sound and projection service to the community.

•

Do

theGreenhandsenjoythe

FFA

meetings?

• Invite the football captain to an

FFA

meeting.

• Subscribe to Tfw National

FU-

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AdmissionsOffice

Western lowaTechCommunityCollege P.O. Box265

SiouxCity, Iowa 51102

Address,

Phone _

.City.

Decembet-January,1984-85 45

Q:

What do

bees

do

with theirhoney?

A:

They

^{cell it.}

Mychele

Winningham

Allardi, Tennessee Q:

Why

did the orange stop in the middle oftheroad? A:^Itran out ofjuice.

Larry Colston

Camden, Alabama Famous

^last words of Eli Whitney:

"Keep yourcotton pickin'handsoff

my

gin.

"

Keith Sibley Ennis, Texas Did

you

hearaboutthe

Greenhand who

put

snow

tireson hiscar?

They

melted.

Clark

Moore

Frost, Texas Fred:

"How

coulda littlegirl like that dragagrand piano up threefloors?"

Jed: ^"

We

toldheritwas aviolin.

"

Tim Cody

Alamosa, Colorado

Math

professortoasmartaleckstudent,

"How

far are

you from

the correct answer, Al?"

Al replied,"Only twoseats, sir."

Mary Ann

Waldhauser Loyal, Wisconsin

"DidIdosomethingwrong?"

Bob:

"Tom, you know you

are alot like Thanksgiving

Day

atschool.

"

Tom:

^"

Why do you

saythat?"

Bob:

"No

class."

Kenny

Dickens Bascom, Florida

The owner

of a big racing stable arrivedat Santa Anita racetrack witha seven-year-old thoroughbred that had never been raced.

The unknown

horse was entered in a feature race, left the gate as a long shot and

won

by six lengths. Track officials were shocked andaskedthe

owner why

hehadn'traced the speedster before.

"Well,the truthis."the

owner

replied,

"we couldn't catch

him

before he was

six.

"

Carrie Regehr Marion, South

Dakota

A

third-gradeteachertookherclassof students on an educational tour of a farm. Afterthefarmer

showed

thestu- dentsthefarmequipment andanimals, he held a question and answersession.

One

littlegirl,noticing aherd ofcattle

chewingtheircud,asked,

"Does

itcosta lottokeep

your cows

inchewing

gum?"

Christopher

Crump

Fremont, Ohio Q:

How

can

you

tell ifanelephant has just taken a bath? A:

He

leaves a ring aroundthelake.

Christopher

Crump

Fremont, Ohio At one church's annual bazaar, the highlight of theevening

was

alwaysthe tall-talecontest.

As

theevening

wore on

theliesgrew wilderand

more

hilarious.Butthe judges'

unanimous

votewentto

Farmer

Gustin,

who

said ina low, quiet voice, "In

my

houseIhavetwosons

and

twoflashlights

and

theyallwork!"

JosephineQuintana Pojoaque,

New Mexico

Billy:

"What

willone

mouse do

ifhe seesanother

mouse

drowning?"

Pam:

^"/don'tknow, what?"

Billy: "Give

him

mouse-to-mousere- suscitation.^"

Cathy

Godfrey Quitman, Georgia

The

federalgovernmentrecentlycon-

ducted a research

program

to find out

how

farmers spend their money.

One young man

was interviewing a farmer

who

revealedthathe spent 30 percentfor animal feed, 30 percent forfertilizer, 20 percentfor seed,30 percentforfueland

10percentfor food.

"But sir," said the researcher, "that adds

up

to120percent.^"

"That's right. Sonny," replied the farmer.

"And

itsgettingworse."

Oran Nunemaker

Glasco, Kansas Signatthebarbershop:"Don'tregard

it as losinghair. Think

of

^{it as saving} face."

Leslie Halsell Moss, Tennessee

The

cityslicker

was

bugginghisfarmer friendtotake

him

deer hunting.

He

had never beendeerhuntingso theyset off towards the woods.

The

farmer didn't

want

the city shcker hanging around

him

any more,sohesat

him on

aridge and wentoutabout 60yards.Justashe sat

down

heheard threerifleshots,and

someone

screaming, "It'smine."

Then

another voice yelled, 'Wo, it's

mine.^"

Then

he heard a guy say, "Okay, mister,

you

canhaveitif

you

justlettne takethesaddle offofit."

Wade

Szakacs

Double

Springs,

Alabama Charlie, the Greenhand

"/workeverydayof theweek

—

.soiiielinicsmore."

NOTICE:

^TheNational

^H

^{Tl'RKKARMKRwillpay}S5.00/or eachjokeselectedfor publicationonthispage.Jokesmusthe addressedto theSafionalFl'Tl'RE F.4R\tER.

P.O.BoxISI60,.Mexandria,\.X22.W9. In case ofduplication,paymentwillhe for thefirstonereceived.Contributionscannot heacknowledgedorreturned.

46 TheSationalFlTlRE

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m

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