Communication Encounter: Nadine
friendships, work, school, and family relationships or think about listening to a politician’s speech. What do you recall? If you’re like most people, you’ll think about what your friends, family members, or the politician said and did.
Even when thinking about casual encounters, like picking up your dry cleaning, you’ll often remember things that were said and done during the interaction. When Nadine, in our Communication Encounter, thinks about Randy, she’s likely to recall how Randy listens patiently when she struggles to talk about getting around campus. She also may think about how she failed to fully explain her feelings to him. In this way, she’s thinking about verbal and nonverbal communication.
Although verbal and nonverbal communication systems are critically important, they’re imprecise, ambiguous, and can sometimes lead to misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and hurt feelings. Of course, communication also helps us feel understood and supported, and allows us to accomplish goals. We get both positive and negative effects using verbal and nonverbal communication. In this chapter, we discuss verbal and nonverbal communication’s unique attributes, and suggest skills for maximizing positive outcomes and minimizing negative ones. We separate our presentation of verbal and nonverbal communication here, but in practice they’re intertwined, and we often draw meaning from the interaction between them.
Background
We begin by offering definitions of verbal and nonverbal communication.
After providing these interpretations, we discuss important ways that the two interact with each other.
Interpreting Verbal Communication
Verbal communication occurs when people exchange verbal codes, or the vocabulary comprising a language. Verbal codes are governed by grammar, or a set of rules dictating how words should be combined to make a meaningful message. If Randy told Nadine: “Cut curbs they put,” she wouldn’t understand the sentence completely, though she’d probably make some meaning out of it (like thinking Randy was joking around or losing his mind). The words in that sentence are all recognizable parts of the English vocabulary, but their arrangement doesn’t follow the rules for English sentences. Verbal communication occurs when communicators exchange mutually understood verbal codes, following the rules of grammar governing the use of those codes.
Interpreting Nonverbal Communication
Nonverbal communication, which may occur simultaneously with verbal communication as well as independently, involves the exchange of nonverbal codes between people to make meaning. Nonverbal codes encompass all behaviors – other than spoken words – that communicate messages. Thus, we define nonverbal communication as the process of exchanging non- linguistic cues. When you smile, wave your arms, stammer, or whisper you’re contributing to the meaning a listener interprets even though none of those behaviors are words.
The Relationship between Verbal and Nonverbal Communication Some researchers (e.g., Malandro & Barker, 1983) suggest five ways that verbal and nonverbal communication interact with each other: repetition (saying “I’ve tried this three times” while holding up three fingers); emphasis (saying “I’ve never been so angry before!” in a loud tone with inflection on the words “so angry”); reinforcement (saying “I’m glad to see you” while smiling); contradiction (saying “I’m glad to see you” while frowning); and substitution (waving hello without saying anything). See Table 4.1.
Table 4.1 The Relationship between Verbal and Nonverbal Communication
Function Verbal
Communication
Nonverbal
Communication Repetition “I’ve tried this three
times*
Holding up three fingers
Emphasis “I’m so angry” Loud tone of voice
Reinforcement “Glad to see you” Smiling warmly Contradiction “Glad to see you” Frowning, eye roll
Substitution Silence Waving hello without
speaking
Furthermore, nonverbal communication regulates verbal interactions.
For instance, when you’re talking with someone, how do you know when it’s your turn to speak? Turn taking in conversation is usually managed through
nonverbal communication. When someone is ready to yield the floor to another, they’ll usually stop talking, make eye contact, and perhaps make a hand gesture indicating that it’s okay for the other person to speak. If you don’t want to yield the floor to a conversational partner, you might hold up your hand, palm facing your partner, and shake your head “no” when you see them getting ready to open their mouth and interrupt you.
Finally, nonverbals are considered more believable than verbals. For instance, if you ask a friend how they’re feeling and they reply “fine” in a low tone while frowning, which do you believe – what your friend said or what they did? When Nadine tells Randy she’s frustrated trying to get around campus, but she smiles and shrugs while saying it, Randy probably assumes her frustration isn’t that big a deal. People may grant greater credibility to nonverbal communication because nonverbal behaviors are more difficult to control than verbal behaviors. Deception researchers (e.g. Burgoon &
Dunbar, 2016) talk about leakage, which refers to nonverbal behaviors that are exhibited without conscious knowledge (like smiling nervously when trying to make a good impression). However, we can be misled by our faith in the accuracy of nonverbals. Someone crossing their arms tightly in front of them may be cold rather than angry. Both verbal and nonverbal codes mean many things, and effective communication requires accurately choosing among various interpretations.
Connections: Verbal, Nonverbal, and Audience Analysis and Speech Delivery
When using verbal and nonverbal symbols, it’s important to remember that doing so relates to all the other concepts we discuss in
this text. Reflect on how verbal and nonverbal communication relate to presentational communication. Think about the following scenario:
Raj has been assigned to make a presentation about new sales techniques to the sales force in his company. He knows the material he needs to present very well, but he’s not accustomed to public speaking. He thinks he does well when he’s explaining something one-on-one at work, but he’s nervous now that he has to talk to over 50 people at once. When he just speaks to one person, he can tell by their facial expressions if they understand the concepts he’s discussing, and sometimes they interrupt to ask a question so he can be sure he’s getting his points across
clearly. But with such a large group in a formal setting he’s unsure how he’ll be able to tell if they understand him. And, if he’s honest, he’s afraid he might look stupid to the audience.
When the day comes for the presentation, Raj is well prepared and has dressed nicely in his best business suit. During the entire speech, Raj remains behind the podium and he unconsciously grips its edges till his knuckles turn white. His nervousness prevents him from smiling much, and he seems to have a frown on his face as he knits his eyebrows together. As he warms to his subject, however, he begins to relax. But, the audience is
perplexed because Raj is using very technical vocabulary that most of them fail to comprehend. Because Raj is nervous, he’s looking over the heads of the audience members – he doesn’t want to make direct eye contact because he’s afraid that will cause him to lose his place in his notes. As he looks over the audience’s heads to the back of the room, he’s unable to see the looks of confusion on their faces.
How does this scenario illustrate verbal and nonverbal communication in the context of audience analysis and speech delivery? How does it help you understand the ways verbal and nonverbal communication interact with one another? What are some of the nonverbal behaviors that Raj does well? What are some of his problems nonverbally? How might Raj improve his verbal choices?