The impact on bullied children’s relationships
Stage 5 Review and evaluate
The parties agree to meet to review outcomes and to evaluate what happened.
They agree to renegotiate as appropriate. The mediator praises each party for successes and summarizes in context the values of cooperation and trust. The mediator closes the meeting by acknowledging that progress has been made (even if complete resolution has not been reached). The mediator invites each person to reflect on how they might each behave differently in the future.
(adapted from Cowie and Jennifer 2007: 108)
A more advanced version of adult mediation is the restorative conference in which the process involves all involved in the bullying episodes with their respective parents/carers/supporters, as well as key school personnel and behaviour support staff (where applicable). The conference takes place in a room where everyone can sit in a circle. The facilitator talks personally with those involved prior to the conference to prepare them for the process and answer any queries and concerns. It is essential that everyone present has volunteered to be there and that everyone feels safe. The purposes of the conference are: to establish the context of the bullying incident and why it happened; to hear accounts of the damage to the victim; to discuss ways in which the damage might be repaired; and to discuss and plan ways of avoiding such incidents in the future. An important feature of the conference is the involvement of everyone in planning the way forward, as we see in Case Study 3.1.
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Case Study 3.1 Power struggles in the peer group
The dispute
Staff at a primary school had become worried about a group of Year 6 girls because of the constant arguments, including excluding girls from the ‘in- group’, name-calling, talking behind backs and spreading nasty rumours. The girls’ behaviour was having an impact on others in their year group and negatively affecting the school ethos. Teachers and lunchtime supervisors were constantly trying to resolve these girls’ disputes but as soon as one problem was sorted another would spring up. Most recently, there had been a series of confrontations between some of the parents at the school gate with a number of angry accusations and threats being exchanged. The issue was spreading out into the community and showing signs of getting out of hand. The head teacher decided to organize a conference involving three of the girls who seemed to be at the centre of most of the disputes: Becky, Amina and Kumika.
She invited PC Emma Young, the school liaison police officer who had been trained in restorative practice, to facilitate the conference, as well as the girls’
parents/carers; the class teacher, a lunchtime supervisor and the special needs coordinator.
The conference
PC Young made sure that everyone knew each person’s name and set out the purpose of the meeting. In turn, she asked the three girls and the staff to describe what had happened, how they felt then and what they were feeling right now. She then asked the parents and the head teacher what they felt when they heard about the series of episodes and what they were feeling now. Then, in turn, she asked who had been affected and what needed to be done to put the damage right. The girls described a web of intrigue in which girls would share secrets, betray these secrets, gossip about one another, regularly exclude a targeted girl from the group and spread nasty rumours about other girls. The teacher and the lunchtime supervisor described the constant unrewarding task of sorting out disputes only to find that they re-emerged in different ways and with different members of the friendship group. They described their feelings of helplessness and frustration as well as their concern about the emotional upset that these intrigues were causing. The parents/carers were very upset that their daughters could be involved in such feuds and betrayals. Becky’s Dad reported how angry he had been when he heard about the nasty things that Kumika had been saying about Becky. Kumika’s mother reported that her daughter had been distraught when she was excluded from the group, especially when she was the only one not to be invited to Becky’s birthday party. Recently she had been so unhappy that she became ill and was refusing to go to school. Kumika said that she had been devastated when Becky told Amina some secrets that she had told her in confidence about her family; she felt betrayed.
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PC Young then asked the girls to respond to what they had heard. Initially, Becky and Amina remained silent then Becky spoke up. She said, ‘I am really sorry, Kumika, that I did not invite you to my party. I didn’t know how upset you were about those things I told Amina but now I do’. Then Kumika said that she too was sorry for saying some very nasty things about Becky. Amina in turn apologized to Kumika and to the school staff for her part in turning other girls against Kumika. The girls then together discussed constructive ways in which they could all get on better with one another and arranged a meeting with teachers and lunchtime supervisors to help them put these ideas into practice.
They already had some ideas about setting up a lunchtime club on Tuesdays.
In the group bullying situation described in Case Study 3.1, it was at times difficult to differentiate among bullies and bullied since the roles shifted depending on who was in and who was out of the group. However, the relational process of the conference enabled all to benefit mutually. All three reported that they now felt more confident in themselves and appreciated the opportunity to make good the damage that had been done which, in fact, was making all of them unhappy. Kumika, in particular, felt much more positive about school and was happy to be involved in the planning meeting in which the girls were actively involved in making things better for the whole friendship group. Over time, and following the planning meeting, all three also reported greater insights into why children bully others and why some people are bullied within the friendship group.
Teachers frequently report that the school environment becomes safer and more caring following the introduction of restorative practices, and that peer relationships in general improve (Warren and Williams 2007). The degree to which the school integrates restorative practice into the whole school policy as strategy is central to its success. In Case Study 3.1 we saw how important it was for the head teacher to be actively involved in the conference and in facilitating the planning meetings afterwards. It was also important to involve lunchtime supervisors as well since they were often at the forefront of dealing with disputes at break time as they arose. The parents/carers also needed to know so that they had the broader picture and potentially were now able to see the incidents from different perspectives.
Learning points
+ Educators can learn how to remedy bullied children’s relationship difficul- ties by understanding more about their origins and by building up self- esteem.
+ Children can be helped to feel better about themselves by placing emphasis on the emotional aspects of their experience.
+ Educators can address the emotional needs of bullied children by helping them to rehearse and practise assertive behaviour.
+ Restorative practices have an important role to play in fostering a relational approach to helping bullied pupils.
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Resources
Cole, T. (2000)Kids Helping Kids. Victoria, British Columbia: Peer Resources.
Cowie, H., Boardman, C., Dawkins, J. and Jennifer, D. (2004)Emotional Health and Well-being: A Practical Guide for Schools.London, Sage Publications.
Cowie, H. and Jennifer, D. (2007)Managing Violence in School: A Whole-School Approach to Best Practice. London: Paul Chapman.
Cowie, H. and Wallace, P. (2000) Peer support in action. London: Sage Publications.
Hazler, R. J. (1996) Breaking the Cycle of Violence: Interventions for Bullying and Victimization.Washington, DC: Accelerated Development/Taylor & Francis.
Hopkins, B. (2004)Just Schools. London: Jessica Kingsley.
McLauchlin, E., Fergusom, R., Hughes, G. and Westmorland, L. (Eds.) (2003) Restora- tive Justice: Critical Issues. London: Sage.
Petch, B. and Withers, T. (2006) Peer mediation: guidance notes for schools. Solihull:
Solihull Metropolitan Borough Council.
Robinson, G. and Maines, B. (2007)Bullying. London: Sage Publications.
Salter, K. and Twidle, R. (2005). The Learning Mentor’s Source and Resource Book.
London: Paul Chapman.
Sharp, S. and Cowie, H. (1998)Counselling and Supporting Children in Distress. London:
Sage Publications.
Warren, C. and Williams, S. (2007)Restoring the Balance.London: Lewisham Action on Mediation Project.
Zehr, H. (2002) The Little Book of Restorative Justice. Intercourse, PA: Good Books Publications.
Web sites
International Institute for Restorative Practices (www.iirp.org; www.safersanerschool- s.org; www.realjustice.org).
Massage In Schools (www.misa.org.uk).
Mediation UK (www.mediationuk.org.uk).
Peer Support Networker (www.ukobservatory.com).
Practicing Positive Relationships (www.betterbehaviourscotland.gov.uk).
Restorative Practices Forum (www.iirp.org).
TeacherNet (www.teachernet.gov.uk).
Transforming Conflict (www.transformingconflict.org).
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UK Observatory for the Promotion of Non-violence (www.ukobservatory.com).
Youth Justice Board for England and Wales (www.youth-justice-board.gov.uk).
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