The test that follows contains common errors made by MBA candidates in a top-ranked MBA program. Some are parallel to errors revealed in a study by Leonard and Gilsdorf 1 that distracted senior business executives. Others are based on common errors cited by Charles Brusaw, et. al, in The Business Writer's Handbook. 2
We want to give special acknowledgement to Ms. Tammany Kramer, Ph.D. candidate in English, University of Rochester, for her assistance in developing and editing these items and the answer key.
First, circle any error in an item. (Some of the errors you circle may be legitimate grammatical errors, others may not. This will help you spot your mistakes.)
Second, correct any errors. (Think about the items in the following way: If you wouldn't sign a letter or memo with the sentence in it, you should probably change it.)
The Test
1. All three companies internal expenses increased dramatically during the last year.
2. The project was given to Shankar and myself for completion by Thursday.
3. Neither he nor the board members wants to schedule another Friday afternoon meeting.
4. Although the quarter's earnings fell short of projections the mood at the company was optimistic.
Page 200 5. Copies of the report go to: the controller, accountant, and the CFO.
6. The consensus of opinion is that the principal affect of the buyout was to eliminate local competition.
7. She requested that the proposal be reworked to accommodate recent legislation, that was targeted at computer software companies such as ours.
8. His sales expertise is unparalled, however, his ability to maintain client relationships is quite poor.
9. Smaller than its predecessor, the design team presented a streamlined model of the new laptop.
10. An analysis of the company's industry position revealed three shortcomings. Excessive buyer power, potential substitutes, and it cannot prevent entry from other firms.
11. According to Lupe less than 14 percent of the employees took all of their sick leave, they preferred to roll it over and add it to their vacation time.
12. While Holger has been here longer than me, my performance record speaks for itself.
13. The creation of cross functional teams are crucial for eliminating production backlog.
14. He gave a presentation on risk assessment in the conference room.
15. When a manager is faced with strife between coworkers, one can expect them to use their personal skills to smooth out the situation.
16. Mr. Li wants to look into developing new product lines, such as, computer games, accounting software and foreign language programs.
17. The changes in personnel though apparently a result of company growth makes the stockholders apprehensive.
18. I sent the blueprints over to the client's office yesterday and I expect that we will get her approval within the next two or three days unless there is a major problem with the amendments.
19. Peter Walsh the senior partner in the firm welcomes the opportunity to hire fresh talent.
20. He had looked forward to the possibility of expanding into the electronics industry now his company is in a position to do so.
21. This would provide the underwriters with loss information and will promote a more timely release of renewals.
22. Between you and I, Ms. Stern never gave us a deadline.
Page 201 23. Its unclear how new sales manager will influence sales.
24. It goes without saying that we would like you to give consideration to our plans for restructuring the department.
25. Causes of the decrease in sales are: late deliveries, a shortage of salespersons, and they couldn't keep up service contracts.
26. John told Thomas that the figures from the Syracuse branch were late for two consecutive months; he thinks that the New York branches are completely incompetent.
27. Ed wanted to attend the conference, one reason was that he thought he could polish up his statistical analysis skills.
28. The proposed vertical integration, that would enable a smoother production process, might prove to be prohibitively expensive.
29. Everyone who wants to attend the luncheon needs to reserve their space by Wednesday.
30. Thank you for the opportunity to submit this bid. If you have any questions, please contact me. I will call you on November 20 to follow up on the proposal. I look forward to hearing from you.
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Answer Key
The following are representative answers to items in the Self-Diagnostic Test. The type of error is listed in parentheses following the item. Often there are multiple ways to correct an error. Your focus should be on whether you:
• Identified the key error in the item
• Were able to correct it
• Corrected something that was not an error
• Introduced a new error
In this answer key, specific words and punctuation marks are underlined to focus your attention on the errors and the changes recommended to correct them.
After checking your answers, review a handbook on English usage to better understand the errors that you made, or contact Ron Hein & Associates, Inc. (ronhein.com, [email protected]) for information on easy-to-use, self-instructional materials that clearly explain and help you eliminate errors that you are making.
1. All three companies' internal expenses increased dramatically during the last year. (possession) 2. The project was given to Shankar and me for completion by Thursday. (personal pronouns)
6. The consensus is that the principal effect of the buyout was to eliminate local competition. (redundancy, affect/effect)
7.a. She requested that the proposal be reworked to accommodate recent legislation that was targeted at computer software companies such as ours.
b. She requested that the proposal be reworked to accommodate recent legislation targeted at computer software companies such as ours. (restrictive and nonrestrictive elements, concision)
8. His sales expertise is unparalled; however, his ability to maintain client relationships is quite poor. (commas, conjunctive adverbs, semicolons)
Page 203 9.a. The design team presented a streamlined model of the new laptop, which was smaller than its predecessor.
b. The design team presented a streamlined model of the new laptop that was smaller than its predecessor.
(dangling modifier)
10. An analysis of the company's industry position revealed three shortcomings: excessive buyer power, potential substitutes, and possible entry from other firms. (colons, sentence fragment, parallel construction)
11.a. According to Lupe, less than 14 percent of the employees took all of their sick leave; they preferred to roll it over and add it to their vacation time.
b. According to Lupe, less than 14 percent of the employees took all of their sick leave. They preferred to roll it over and add it to their vacation time.
c. According to Lupe, less than 14 percent of the employees took all of their sick leave because they preferred to roll it over and add it to their vacation time. (comma and introductory phrase, comma splice, causal relationship)
12. While Holger has been here longer than I, my performance record speaks for itself. (subjective case)
13. The creation of cross-functional teams is crucial for eliminating production backlog. (hyphen, subject-verb agreement) 14. He gave a presentation in the conference room on risk assessment. (ambiguous modifier)
15.a. When a manager is faced with strife between coworkers, one can expect him or her to use his or her personal skills to smooth out the situation.
b. When managers are faced with strife between coworkers, one can expect them to use their personal skills to smooth out the situation.
(noun-pronoun agreement)
16. Mr. Li wants to look into developing new product lines, such as computer games, accounting software, and foreign language programs. (commas) 17. The changes in personnel, though apparently a result of company growth, make the stockholders apprehensive. (restrictive and nonrestrictive clauses, subject-verb agreement)
18. a. I sent the blueprints over to the client's office yesterday, and I expect that we will get her approval
Page 204 within the next two or three days unless there is a major problem with the amendments.
b. I sent the blueprints over to the client's office yesterday. I expect that we will get her approval within the next two or three days unless there is a major problem with the amendments.
(comma, new sentence)
19. Peter Walsh, the senior partner in the firm, welcomes the opportunity to hire fresh talent.
(appositives, commas)
b. He had looked forward to the possibility of expanding into the electronics industry; now his company is in a position to do so.
c. He had looked forward to the possibility of expanding into the electronics industry. Now his company is in a position to do so.
(run-on sentence, comma, semicolon, new sentence)
21.a. This would provide the underwriters with loss information and would promote a more timely release of renewals.
b. This will provide the underwriters with loss information and will promote a more timely release of renewals.
(consistent verb tense)
22. Between you and me, Ms. Stern never gave us a deadline. (pronoun case)
23. It's unclear how the new sales manager will influence sales. (its versus it's, articles) 24. We would like you to consider our plans for restructuring the department.
(cliché, concision)
25.a. Causes of the decrease in sales are the late deliveries, the shortage of sales staff, and the inability to keep up service contracts . b. The decrease in sales is caused by the late deliveries, the shortage of sales staff, and the inability to keep up service contracts.
(colon, parallel construction)
26.a. John told Thomas that the figures from the Syracuse branch were late for two consecutive months; John thinks that New York branch is incompetent.
b. John told Thomas that the figures from the Syracuse branch were late for two consecutive
Page 205 months; Thomas thinks that the New York branch is incompetent.
(overgeneralization, ambiguous pronoun referent)
27.a. Ed wanted to attend the conference because he thought he could polish up his statistical analysis skills.
b. Ed wanted to attend the conference. One reason was that he thought he could polish up his statistical analysis skills.
(comma, causal relationship)
28. The proposed vertical integration, which would enable a smoother production process, might prove to be prohibitively expensive. (restrictive and nonrestrictive clauses)
29. Everyone who wants to attend the luncheon needs to reserve his or her space by Wednesday.
(noun-pronoun agreement)
30. Thank you for the opportunity to submit this bid. I will call you on November 20 to discuss it, but please contact me in the interim if you have any questions. (concision, clarity, logic)
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