3.4 Informal conversations with selected family members in helping me to recall my
3.4.1 An informal conversation with my grandmother
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3.4 Informal conversations with selected family members in helping me to recall
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3. Further explain these events by paying particular attention to describing feelings, thoughts, sounds and colours, among other things. What can we learn from this particular experience?
Then we started with our conversation, which is presented below.
Luthando: Granny, what comes to your mind as you are going through those materials?
Grandmother: [After looking for some time at the materials, she then started smiling and answered.] Ahhh Seanamarena (one Sotho word for the Basotho blanket). It brings back so many old memories of the past associated with mixed emotions.
Luthando: Can you please share those memories with me, granny, and include as many details as you can remember. You can also share the emotions associated with those events if you are okay with that.
[As I said this to my grandmother on the issue of sharing associated emotions, I quickly got fearful, and was unsure whether I had asked a sensitive question. I thought of issues like ‘What if the old lady shares emotional moments that I may not be able to handle and respond to them?’. As my head got stuck with that thinking, she answered my question.]
Grandmother: This blanket reminds me of many memories about your upbringing and schooling, mostly at primary school. It reminds me of how you, together with your brothers, I used to motivate you about the importance of going to school and finishing it. How I told all of you how you can change the situation at our home through education. And look at you, here you are, and you were able to do precisely as I told you. We are indeed proud.
Luthando: [Smiling] All thanks to you, granny, we are what we are today because of you. All your teachings and lessons indeed did not go down the drain with me.
Grandmother: This also reminds me of how important it is for us as parents to support our children on their school-related matters – no matter how illiterate one is as a parent. So that they [learners] will be able to achieve their dreams. What we were not able to accomplish during our time as parents must be achieved by our children and grandchildren, for now, there are many opportunities available, unlike in our old days.
[After about a period of a minute being quiet, she continued.]
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Grandmother: Do you remember in your Grade 2 year when your class teacher sent some boys to come and collect you here at home to go for a school trip that you never prepared for?
That is when I realised that you were indeed a hardworking, respecting and disciplined learner at school. Otherwise, your teacher would have not done that for you. I was so happy at this, and to me, it became a testimony that you indeed took my words and worked hard towards achieving your goals and changing our home situation.
Luthando: I can remember that day very well, granny. Both of us were sitting outside and talking, just like we are doing today; what a coincidence! My teacher really supported me on that occasion, and it was one of those events where I told myself that I really needed to continue working hard to achieve more. That event really inspired me. It taught me that teachers in school support you as a learner if you work hard, and, in addition, being humble and respecting adds as a bonus.
Grandmother: Exactly mzukulu wami [my grandchild]. Do you remember what happened immediately after that incident of your school trip? It was a week later, I think.
Luthando: [After about a minute trying to think of the event that my grandmother had asked me, I could not remember, and I asked for another minute so that I could try to recall.] No, no, no, I don’t remember, granny. I have been trying to recall that memory, but I am failing to.
Grandmother: Well, I see that you can’t remember. What happened is that I went to your school, to your class teacher to thank her about all the things she had done for you. Paying for you and giving you that opportunity to be part of that learning experience with other learners.
She was so happy, and she told me about all the good things you were doing in your work and at school. She also later called you to join us in our conversation pertaining to your schoolwork.
Therefore, I think that is how parents and teachers should build a working relationship with each other. That can make our children participate more in school, pass, and later achieve their dreams. That can also contribute to the building of supportive teacher-learner relationships.
[That is where we decided to end our informal conversation, as it was already late and starting to get dark outside. We, therefore, packed up our things and went inside the house.]
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3.4.1.1 Lessons learnt from the informal conversation with my grandmother
I learnt from this informal conversation that I had with my grandmother that no matter how illiterate parents or guardians are in their respective contexts, they can still be part of their children’s education. This is confirmed in S’phiwe Madondo’s memory-work, in Pithouse- Morgan et al. (2019b), where he argues that “although my parents were illiterate, they made sure that I engaged in many writing activities such as writing invitations, short stories, and letters” (p. 139). Similarly, Pithouse-Morgan (2019) argues that although she is aware, through her students’ memory-work research, that most mothers or grandmothers took an active role in supporting her students to read, what caught her eye is that parents and other family members did this while they were illiterate or semi-literate. Therefore, whatever their literacy levels, parents and other family members can support their children by motivating them on their school-related matters and through believing in them and that they can make it in life through education. This can also be done by regularly arranging meetings with their children’s teachers to check their work and progress in school. In my experience, this has proved to work and is evident in my grandmother’s arguments above during our informal conversation, as she acknowledged that she was illiterate, just like many other parents in our village. Still, she supported and motivated us as her grandchildren about the importance of education and how it changes lives.
My grandmother motivated us that our bright future was right in our hands. Therefore, we had the power to use education as a powerful weapon to fight poverty and change the situation in our own homes. Furthermore, she argued (as shown elsewhere in this research study) that those parents who got the opportunity to finish and further their education played a significant role as real-life examples in our village. Examples were made of them, as they showed that education was indeed a considerable weapon that one could use to change lives for the better.
Moreover, what I learnt is that teachers in schools become more interested and concerned to help and support their learners if the learners show interest and work hard towards achieving their goals (see, among others, Bosah et al., 2015; Newberry, 2013; Setlhare et al., 2016). This also includes behavioural aspects, such as being respectful and disciplined at school. This is evident in my experience. My grandmother argued that my teacher had discussed with her that it became a more straightforward process to support a learner who was respectful of both teachers and peers at school and was disciplined. More importantly, a learner who dedicated their time towards achieving their goals was appreciated and supported.
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I also learnt that if parents or guardians can work closely with their children’s teachers in schools, more effective relationships can be built for the benefit of a learner (see, among others, Lindo et al., 2014; Mokhele, 2006). This may subsequently lead to effective supportive teacher- learner relationships in schools. Therefore, it is vital that schools, teachers in schools, parents and all other relevant stakeholders take the lead in establishing those initiatives and relationships for the benefit of both teachers and learners. This can also lead to increased participation and engagement in both classroom- and school-related matters, and, subsequently, success in schools.