5.4 PART ONE: Phases of HIV and AIDS 124
5.5.5 Conclusion to Part Two 184
When a person is diagnosed HIV-positive, fear and stress caused them to experience much emotional anxiety. Some of these being isolation, rejection, loneliness and frustration. At times the infected individuals brought about their own isolation when they retreated into themselves.
Chapter Five Indrashnee Devi Appalsamy Analysis: On Analysing Participants Voices and Emotions
D.Ed Thesis: An insight into the experiences of educators living with HIV and AIDS in the context of
schooling and beyond 185
They may have gone about their normal routine, but psychologically they retreated into themselves.
Anxiety was always uppermost in the minds of HIV-positive people because of the risk of opportunistic infections. Thandiwe experienced this stage of AIDS and suffered the trauma of the virus first hand. The other participants in this study worked on self-motivation in order to keep their immune systems healthy in order to manage the HIV; their mindset also underwent a change after their diagnosis. Most of the participants had been living with HIV for more than 5 years at the time of their interviews. The value of psychoneuroimmunology (PNI) was also discussed to show how coping styles, attitudes and emotions affect the nervous system, immune system, hormones and ultimately, health. The explanations of Patient ( Patient has been living with HIV for more than 20 years) and Orr (2004) on the issue of PNI was also incorporated; they are of the opinion that PNI has a bearing on how the HIV-positive person handles the virus. The mind, nervous system and the immune system have to work together to handle the virus. An account of the participants’ experiences around their immune systems and CD4 counts is also included.
Stress also affects the immune system and participants also spoke of their fear of death and how the HIV infection had robbed them of a chance of fulfilling their goals and living a longer life.
The participants shared their experiences of loss of identity especially when they were discriminated against by friends, colleagues and even relatives. When the participants were ill and absent from school, they suffered a loss of dignity and criticised by colleagues. All the participants spoke about the emotional shock they suffered. The anticipatory grief experienced by the participants and their immediate families was also discussed.
When an HIV-positive person enters stage five of the virus, the person is said to have AIDS. One of the participants in this study, Thandiwe, reached this phase, where the symptoms of the virus are clearly visible and the immune system is very weak, making the body vulnerable to opportunistic infections. When a person reaches this phase he/she is very ill, has a very low CD4 count and has to be hospitalized, as was the case with Thandiwe. During this phase Thandiwe was overcome by fear and anger, and she reported that close family members were at a loss not knowing what to do. Being the researcher in this study, Thandiwe’s plight also affected me. This
feeling is normal, according to Jones and Tannock (2000): “not only the research participants but also the researchers are affected”. The unpredictable nature of an HIV-positive person’s health makes it difficult to plan and anticipate the future. Thandiwe was the only participant who reached phase five of the virus. When a person reaches this stage she spends much time in bed or in hospital, and suffers pain and fear. Thandiwe explained her fear and pain, fear because of the unknown and pain because of death and leaving loved ones behind. The knowledge that others have succumbed to the disease is also very depressing.
The issue of vulnerability was also discussed, women are generally viewed as vulnerable, but Ashwin drew attention to men also being vulnerable with his account of his hijack ordeal.
Women and especially women who undergo the cultural process of genital mutilation are also highly vulnerable. The participants spoke about seeking solace in places of worship, but stigma and discrimination drove HIV-positive people away from places of worship. The issue of commitment had a strong bearing on vulnerability: the stronger the commitment, the more vulnerable the person becomes, especially where children are concerned.
Participants in this study also spoke about the verbal abuse they experienced at the hands of their colleagues after they returned from being absent. At this stage of my analysis I have included relevant aspects of the National Policy on HIV/AIDS for learners and educators in Public Schools in Further Education and Training Institutions, which addressed human rights issues entrenched in the South African Constitution. The Department of Education Policy for HIV/AIDS provides guidelines for all employees on how to manage HIV and AIDS in the work environment. Other relevant HIV and AIDS policies are also included in this section.
While the Norms and Standards Policy emphasizes a supportive environment for fellow educators, other workplace HIV and AIDS policies emphasise empowerment, support and human rights. The participants in this study still suffered stigma and discrimination. Francis’s (2004) paper on HIVism (to which I have referred), also discusses aspects of stigma and discrimination,
“up groups” and “down groups,” which can be equated to the people who stigmatise as “up groups” and the people with HIV as “down groups”(like the people in this study).
Chapter Five Indrashnee Devi Appalsamy Analysis: On Analysing Participants Voices and Emotions
D.Ed Thesis: An insight into the experiences of educators living with HIV and AIDS in the context of
schooling and beyond 187
Name-calling and labeling was also an issue with which that the participants had to contend. The effects of social support for people living with HIV was also highlighted. An HIV diagnosis also tests an individuals coping ability and the ability to cope with the disease varied from participant to participant. .
Also in this section, I discussed the impact of living with the virus in the workplace. It was evident from the data that HIV-positive educators have to live through many “bad days”.